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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Childminders Club - I need your advice again please.............

37 replies

HellyBelly · 07/11/2005 15:33

Hello

Some of you may remember I have to give a lady notice but she's currently away at a funeral. Whilst she's away, mindee's dad is having them so I don't need to do school run again until Thursday. I will see the mum on Thursday evening when she collects mindee and then the next time will be Tuesday evening (unless it rains and after school club doesn't happen on Monday). I want to give notice asap for many reasons but feel it would be a bit much to do it the first day she comes back to me.

Should I wait until a week tomorrow to give notice? What would you do?

HB x

p.s. I hate all this!!!

OP posts:
agalch · 07/11/2005 18:14

I would tell her on Thursday so she can make a start on finding someone else. It also sounds as if you are going to be worrying yourself sick until the deed is done. Get it over and done with for your own peace of mind.

Original poster
HellyBelly · 09/11/2005 16:15

Well, tomorrow is the day then [gulp]. I feel bad doing it the first day back but I suppose it's best she knows asap!

Wish me luck

OP posts:
katymac · 09/11/2005 16:30

Good luck

Original poster
HellyBelly · 10/11/2005 10:27

Has anyone had to give notice to a mum of an older mindee who is always listening to conversations? Do you think I should ask to speak to the mum in private? I really don't want the mindee to overhear this conversation!

OP posts:
katymac · 10/11/2005 12:58

Do it by phone?

Original poster
HellyBelly · 10/11/2005 12:59

Change of plan again - mum left message on phone to say she's now picking mindee up from school and I'm not needed until Tuesday.

Do I.......

Phone and just confirm Tuesday then tell her Tuesday?
Phone and verbally give notice (with apologies etc etc)?
Write to her and post today giving notice so she receives Fri/Sat and can start looking for someone else?

Please help???????????????????????????

OP posts:
Original poster
HellyBelly · 10/11/2005 12:59

Katymac - thanks for that - what about this change??

OP posts:
HappyMumof2 · 10/11/2005 13:04

Message withdrawn

Original poster
HellyBelly · 10/11/2005 13:06

GULP!!

I think you're right and I'll feel better knowing it's done! I've been waiting to give notice for over a week now and just want it done!

Isn't this side of childminding truely awful!!

OP posts:
HappyMumof2 · 10/11/2005 13:11

Message withdrawn

Original poster
HellyBelly · 10/11/2005 14:02

I have several reasons why this mindee was a problem but these could have been sorted:

Mum forgetting to tell me not needed then wasted trip to school
Late payment on occasions
Feeling like I'm 'on call' and told I need you.....when it's not in contract, not 'asked' if I can
Mindee rude and wanting me to buy her things
Eating me out of house and home
Winding little ones up

etc etc....

HOWEVER, the reason for giving notice is actually because I've decided not to do school runs anymore until my ds is at school. I'll have plenty of years having to rush about so would prefer to relax with the babies/toddlers for now

I'm not going to go into any other reason with the mum than I don't want to do school runs. That way she shouldn't be able to talk me round (as I'm too soft and would otherwise!)

OP posts:
Original poster
HellyBelly · 10/11/2005 14:12

Well I've done it Feel sick now!!! It's the silence after I told her that made me feel really bad so I just rambled on with 'take as much time as you need' 'I'll help find someone else if you need' 'it's not personal, just I don't want to do school runs etc'.....just rambled my way through then put the phone down.

Feel like I've sacked an employee!!!

Oh well, now I just want her to find someone else and that be it as I feel embarrassed about seeing her now

Off to grab some chocolate to cheer me up!!

Thanks for your advice guys!

OP posts:
Diddle · 10/11/2005 14:37

well done hellybelly - it is a horrible part of the job, but in the long run you will feel much better for doing it. I don't blame you for cancelling the contract. I'd make sure she is looking for other care and won't take advantage of your offer to wait as long as she needs though.
enjoy your choccie x

Original poster
HellyBelly · 10/11/2005 15:01

I know I'll feel better in the long run as I had to give notice to another recently (awful behaviour) and although we'd become friends (the mum and I), she never came back for the notice period! I felt awful at first but then a lot better!

Problem is this mindees mum and the one I've just given notice to are friends, that's how I ended up with the 3 mindees. I'll be dead nervous for all school runs that remain for this school as I don't want to bump into the other mindees mum.

On a more positive note, this school is not that local to me so shouldn't be a problem in the future!

I also hope that she doesn't take ages looking for childcare - hopefully (in a way) she's annoyed with me and wants out asap. I hate the thought of that but at least I'll be all sorted that way!

OP posts:
jellyjelly · 10/11/2005 15:05

Stop thinking about others helly and concentrate on yourself and your family. you know you have dont the right thing so stop feeling guilty (you know i am the same, i hate this sort of thing, i am learning to put us first, but it is very hard.)

Original poster
HellyBelly · 10/11/2005 15:17

You're right, just hard! Sure will get used to it over time!!

Changing the subject jelly, what would you do about this? Built a website for a childminder in Wales, this was in September. She said was urgent so I worked through the night and basically did it apart from a few bits that I was waiting for her to send to me. Nothing came and I sent email after email. I then phoned her to ask if she was having problems with email and she said her pc had broken and been taken back to shop for repair. I asked if she wanted me to publish it to a test site for her to see if she liked it and she said she had no way of checking it as no access to the net. I said ok and to let me know when back up and running. I have a text on my phone (28/9) saying it had gone in for repair - I'd have thought it would be fixed by now?! I've chased by text and emailed since and nothing.

We have no contract and I DIDN'T charge anything until customer was happy with result (now charge very small deposit to cover my costs).

Do I........

Leave it and learn from mistake (made a loss as had to pay for domain name etc)?
Phone her again to chase?
Write to her?

I just feel like a mug!!!

As I'm too soft I thought you could tell me your opinion on what I should do????

OP posts:
kcemum · 10/11/2005 20:41

Helly, if I were in your shoes this is what I'd do:

Phone her and give her one last chance- also asking for your payment at the same time, I would follow this up with a letter stating that if you don't hear anything within so many days that you will scrap the website.

jellyjelly · 10/11/2005 21:43

and put on the letter that you shall start legal action (which i said to you on the phone) if payment is not received by x date.

Original poster
HellyBelly · 17/11/2005 19:25

Right, gave notice on phone last Thursday but silly me felt bad and said not to panic and that I won't just leave her in the lurch after a week (the notice period).

Minded Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday as usual. Mum collected, all friendly but nothing sorted about when last day will be! I texted her Tuesday night to say I wanted to talk to her face to face to apologise about inconvenience but then found hard as her dd could hear bla bla bla, and asked if she needed my help finding anyone else. No reply, Wednesday just collected as usual, tonight collected and paid and was just going to leave without saying anything. I then said "oh, for my shopping etc, do you know what the plan is?? am I needed next week bla bla". I was hoping this would be the hint she needed - I was fairly obvious, but she just said Tues - Thurs as normal and that was it.

For my sanity (had run in with mindee today) I need to stop minding this child asap and the week is up. I gave her longer but have no idea what she is doing or whether she's even looking for anyone else???

I was thinking about writing to her as I now don't have mindee til Tuesday and it's hard talking about it as this child has bat ears!! . I was going to put in letter - apology again, want to help but need to know when she's planning the last day to be. Thought I'd put I need to book a week off so need to know. My mum (who's softer than I am) actually thinks I should put in the letter when her last day will be, not leave it to her to decide.

What would you do??? (and yes, I am a silly softie and know I need to get tougher!!)

OP posts:
kcemum · 17/11/2005 19:31

Why don't you give her the notice as stated in her contract- specify the date but say that you are giving the option of finishing earlier if she finds somebody, before the notice period is up?

HappyMumof2 · 17/11/2005 19:51

Message withdrawn

Original poster
HellyBelly · 17/11/2005 20:00

Thanks. Can't say another child needs the space as told her I'm stopping school runs (which I am)!

I will tell her next week I think, she's getting double the time that way but I really really don't want it to go on any longer.

Will let you know how I get on

OP posts:
katymac · 17/11/2005 20:29

Just say (as kcemum says) you last day is ??(Thursday next week) however if you make alternative arrangements before that - there will be no further charge. From Monday 28th NOVEMBER YOU WILL NO LONGER BE COLLECTING FROM xyz SCHOOL.(Sorry about the caps)

jellyjelly · 17/11/2005 21:40

I agree, she seems to be taking notice and we both need to get harder as they will continue to walk. I sound harsh but they would drop you without an explaination without a doubt.

jellyjelly · 17/11/2005 21:40

I agree, she seems to be taking notice and we both need to get harder as they will continue to walk. I sound harsh but they would drop you without an explaination without a doubt.