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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Am I overreacting?

49 replies

hollysaysboo · 12/01/2011 21:58

After six months, my 20 month old DS has finally settled into his childminders.

We've had a few issues along the way but he seems happy there and I did think he was being well looked after.

This morning after my DP dropped my DS off he realised he'd left his change bag at home and when he returned my DS was strapped into his buggy in front of the TV in the playroom which is located at the end of the garden. The childminder was in the house at the top of the garden having a wee and had left him alone in there. The back gate was open so anyone could have walked in and we've got no idea how long he had been on his own.

Am I totally overreacting by being really upset with her leaving my DS alone at the bottom of the garden? I can't understand why she didn't take my DS up to the house with her and popped him in the travel cot while she had a wee. It makes me wonder what on earth goes on when I'm not there to be honest.

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Blondeshavemorefun · 12/01/2011 22:07

the playroom is at end of garden? and no toilet near by?

i thought cm needed to have kids in sight at all times (apart from naps)

the fact your dh could walk into the garden would have HUGE alarm bells ringing for me

what was her excuse?

llllll · 12/01/2011 22:10

erm I thought you had to be at least in hearing distance to children when you have a wee!! Especially mindees, how far is toilet to the end of the garden.

Mousesmummy · 12/01/2011 22:10

You are totally NOT being unreasonable!!!
I would listen to your instincts - if it feels 'wrong' it probably is.
Obviously don't know the whole situation but I would not take any chances where my children were concerned!

Original poster

hollysaysboo · 12/01/2011 22:10

yep, the playroom is at the end of the garden and there is a small kids toilet in a sep building next door.

DS was strapped into his buggy so couldn't get out but its still not on is it?

She didn't really have an excuse. Just said that she'd had to use the loo!

OP posts:

Fuchzia · 12/01/2011 22:11

Being left on his own at the bottom of the garden is no acceptable. And strapped into a buggy watching telly? Hope she was on her way out somewhere. Think I would ask her to do some serious explaining

dinosaurinmybelly · 12/01/2011 22:12

That is quite frightening really - poor you! I would certainly have a word with her about it and perhaps best to be constructive rather than livid as you don't want her having an adverse reaction when she is looking after your child. I would discuss with DP and then tell her how shocked you were to find your child not only unattended, but somewhere where anyone could have come in and (god forbid) taken him. Hopefully she will be apologetic and it will never happen again.

I would have spot checks like this one on a regular basis going forward though...

HSMM · 12/01/2011 22:12

It's unusual not to have a toilet near the play room. How do toilet training children manage? She may have just strapped him in, so he was safe while she went for a wee? You should ask her.

HSMM · 12/01/2011 22:13

cross post ... and the security is a worry

Original poster

hollysaysboo · 12/01/2011 22:13

My DP is going to tackle her about it when he drops my DS off in the morning.

There are two childminders so I really don't know why she couldn't have waited until the other one came back from the school run. Anything could've happened in the few minutes she was on the loo.

OP posts:

Mousesmummy · 12/01/2011 22:14

But what if the buggy had tippled over for example?? And then the phone rang and she was longer than 'just a wee'?
I am not trying to be alarmist butat is not acceptable - just think of it in a nursery setting - would the children be allowed for ANY period of time to be left unsupervised?? Of course not - because there are accepted procedures in place to reduce possible risks to the children in their care.
This woman is not adhering to these procedures at all. And the fact that she dismissed your concerns and couldn't see the potential dangers/risks is probably more worrying than anything else!!!

Original poster

hollysaysboo · 12/01/2011 22:16

HSMM i think that is exactly what she did. She strapped him in so she knew he wouldn't wander around on his own. I think we're going to have to address this. It's not on is it?

OP posts:

Blondeshavemorefun · 12/01/2011 22:18

assuming there is no kitchen down the garden either,so makes me wonder what she does when cooking

leave the children alone down there or .....

cinpin · 12/01/2011 22:29

This is not right. For all you know she could have been in the house longer and using having a wee as an excuse

Original poster

hollysaysboo · 12/01/2011 22:30

That's what I worry about. What is she up to when I'm not there?

Thanks for your replies. Glad to see I'm not going overboard.

OP posts:

pozzled · 12/01/2011 22:39

I would be really concerned about this. It just seems quite weird to do this- why didn't she take him up to the house like you say and put him in the travel cot? Your DS could easily have been upset, or someone come in the garden, or the phone could have rung...

Of course CMs need to use the loo or pop into the next room or whatever, but I'd expect the children always to be close by, within earshot and only left for a minute or two. I'd also be very unhappy if the buggy is being used regularly as a safe place to leave the child- at least in a travel cot or playpen they can move around a little and play with toys.

cinpin · 12/01/2011 22:55

Strapped into a buggy watching telly, I really think if he was my son I would find another childminder. Not great to have the TV on that early in the day you are paying for childcare. Thats apart from the safety issue.

Danthe4th · 12/01/2011 23:02

You're going back????
Obviously you are not that worried otherwise you would speak to her without your child present and before you plan on leaving him again.
Are you saying that anyone could get in the garden,how on earth has she risk assessed that and got away with it. I have a back gate padlocked, there is no way into my garden unless someone knocks at the front door. Make the complaint official to her she will have to reply in writing and it will have to be logged in her records for ofsted to see how she dealt with it, if you are not happy then ring ofsted.

PositiveOutlook · 12/01/2011 23:16

Sounds really odd to me.

Detail your concerns in writing to her as a complaint which she will have to record and answer in full.

If it were me, her response (and most importantly to me the detail and tone of her response) would make up my mind on whether to keep my child in her setting or not.

nannynick · 13/01/2011 07:42

I would wonder if the regulator (you don't say which country you are in, so I assume childcare is regulated in your country) has approved the 'playroom' - which sounds like it is not part of the main home - for useage. Sounds to me as though it is a separate building.

cumbria81 · 13/01/2011 10:57

Actually, I do think you are overeacting. it was only a wee, she was probably gone for all of 2 minutes. the risk of soemthing happening in that time is completely minimal.

mummyquilliam · 13/01/2011 12:40

i think ist also the fact that op husband walked into to see this without having to knock on the door to get access that is a worry

new2cm · 13/01/2011 13:54

I am still reeling from an inspection, which probably influenced this response but you are not overreacting IMO.

One of the questions I was asked during my recent inspection was, "what measures have you taken to ensure that nobody can access your property unnoticed and what measures have you implemented to ensure no child can leave the premises?"

As someone already said, the fact that your DH could access the property so easily without the knowledge of 2 childminders would be a cause for concern.

chickadee87 · 13/01/2011 21:12

unacceptable. she could have brought baby into the house with her, even if he was strapped in buggy. At least he would have been near her, and she could hear him if was a problem.

ChildrenAtHeart · 14/01/2011 00:11

If you are in England she is in contravention of the EYFS Welfare requirements that clearly state the premises must be secure and that no one can get in (or out) without the CM letting them. Matter what excuse she had for buggy & TV just the fact that your dh could just walk in would be enough for a formal complaint and referral to Ofsted

mrsthomsontobe · 14/01/2011 14:03

was you dh able to walk into to garden or into garden then playroom. i only ask as playroom door may have been locked therefore no1 could get in

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