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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Am I overreacting?

49 replies

hollysaysboo · 12/01/2011 21:58

After six months, my 20 month old DS has finally settled into his childminders.

We've had a few issues along the way but he seems happy there and I did think he was being well looked after.

This morning after my DP dropped my DS off he realised he'd left his change bag at home and when he returned my DS was strapped into his buggy in front of the TV in the playroom which is located at the end of the garden. The childminder was in the house at the top of the garden having a wee and had left him alone in there. The back gate was open so anyone could have walked in and we've got no idea how long he had been on his own.

Am I totally overreacting by being really upset with her leaving my DS alone at the bottom of the garden? I can't understand why she didn't take my DS up to the house with her and popped him in the travel cot while she had a wee. It makes me wonder what on earth goes on when I'm not there to be honest.

OP posts:

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fel1x · 14/01/2011 14:10

Its a MASSIVE coicidence that just at the same time your DH was able to get into the garden, the CM had strapped your DS in a buggy on his own while she was in the house.
I'd say its not very likely to be a one off and that your son might spend a fair amount of time strapped down and watching TV while she is elsewhere (she must spend time cooking, cleaning up, on the phone, answering the door etc). If she didnt take your son into the house and pop him somewhere safe while she did a wee this time, then chances are she wont be doing that all the other times either.
I wouldnt be taking him back if it were me tbh

Mousesmummy · 14/01/2011 14:48

Come back OP and let us knowwhat happened?

Original poster

hollysaysboo · 15/01/2011 16:59

Well my DP asked her yesterday why my DS had been left on his own and she didn't really have a good enough answer. Normally there are other children there in the morning too so I do wonder if she leaves them all there while she goes to the loo.

So, we're looking at moving him to a nursery or another childminder because once the trust has gone that's it really.

Feel upset with her because it's taken a long 6 months to get my DS to a point where he's happy being left by us and the thought of having to settle him all over again fills me with dread but his safety is what's important here.

OP posts:

PositiveOutlook · 15/01/2011 18:46

I agree with fel1x that this probably isn't a once off. I would also question why it took so long to settle your lo. A good cm who provides a caring home from home environment where he feels comfortable will definitely help him settle quicker

[Smile]

Mousesmummy · 15/01/2011 23:23

Well you have to go with your gut instinct I reckon - good for you!! They are just too precious to 'give the benefit of the doubt' to a 'relative' stranger. Hope your little one gets settled somewhere else quickly xx

whatsleep · 16/01/2011 10:52

I dont want to make you feel guilty but the fact that it has taken so long for him to settle could be purely due to the fact that he spends long periods strapped into the buggy etc, he may have just got to the point where he has learnt to accept it. Once you find another minder will probably find he is happy to be left as he will be getting the care and attention he deserves....sorry havent read all of the responses to you OP, I hope you think seriously about reporting this even to social services/ofsted to follow up on? good luck x

hoops997 · 16/01/2011 11:09

I would be worried about the fact it has taken 6 months to settle in, DS has been to the CM for just 1 week and is quite happy to be left with her, doesn't even look back when I go...........

Hope you find a more suitable setting as this one sounds rubbish, I was talking to my CM about the fact it's a massive trust thing to leave your precious children for any lenght of time and I think she has betrayed that trust, as lots of people have said this is probably not a one off and she should have a complaint to OFSTED put against her.......that's what I would do anyway!

Good luck

SwearyMary · 16/01/2011 11:33

Isn't it a condition of Ofsted that CM's are only allowed to practice within a residential setting? If she isn't letting the children use the house then she is breaking the rules. I might be wrong there but thats my thinking.
As for strapping the LO in the buggy and leaving him alone.....well, thats just awful. The LO shouldn't be left at all and there is a huge security issue here.

Please OP, contact Ofsted and protect andy other children from being mistreated like that again.
You are doing the correct thing to remove your LO from the setting. Where are you based?

thebody · 16/01/2011 15:47

hes 20 months.. she should have taken him with her into the house, thats what I would do as a cm..

dont like the strapped into buggy watching tv at all.... and not secure boundaries in the garden... huge worry for me...

StarExpat · 16/01/2011 20:40

OP he will settle with another cm or a nursery. Don't worry about that. She has admitted to leaving him in a position where anyone could have come in and taken him. Can you remove him from her care immediately? I'm sure you'll have to pay a notice period or whatever, but for safety reasons, contact ofsted to let them know and get him out of there :(

ChildrenAtHeart · 17/01/2011 09:13

I'm with Star on this one.
Incidentally, it can take some children a long time to settle at any setting so I wouldn't always be concerned about that however, linking this with the buggy incident would raise serious concerns.
Definitely report to Ofsted & your local Safeguarding Team (Child Protection Duty Officer)as the childminder is breaking the terms of her registration (& the law) by failing to comply with the EYFS Welfare Requirements and is putting the children at risk of harm by not securing the premises. I would also write to her stating that you are terminating your contract with immediate effect, requesting a final invoice (which you must pay) and stating the reasons why you are terminating clearly. She must respond in writing to your complaint within 28 days, so if you don't contact Ofsted immediately, you can do so following her response if you don't feel her reply was satisfactory.

StarExpat · 17/01/2011 09:38

I wonder if she has to pay a notice period, ChildrenAtHeart? I can understand paying for the "care" that has been received, but not for notice as isn't this gross misconduct (is that what it's called??)?

If I found out that my DS had been strapped into a buggy in a garden where anyone could just wander in at any time and the carer was not with him or watching him, even for a few minutes, my heart would sink to my toes and I would not ever return him to that situation regardless of how complicated work and pay would be as a result. My child's safety is paramount.

:( So sorry this has happened to you. PLEASE know that she is just a really crap cm and there are amazing cms out there.

Please please report her to the people that CAH said.

ChildrenAtHeart · 17/01/2011 10:17

TBH Star I have always been hazy on this aspect of the contract. My understanding is that although the CM is in breach of contract that doesn't give the other side permission to be in breach too (2 wrongs not making a right?)which the parent would be by not paying. Also if you don't pay the notice it could be interpreted by Ofsted as a parent making a malicious complaint to wriggle out of payment, which sadly does happen. Perhaps get legal advice on that part of the situation before making a decision as I could be talking complete rubbish! Anyone on here been in this situation and know the legal implications?

However on the child protection front I do know what I'm talking about and please report!!!!!

looneytune · 17/01/2011 10:22

Another childminder here and I don't think you should pay for any care not received. Being in breach of contract means the contract is no longer valid - surely?! I may be wrong but I think it's extremely unfair to have to pay for care not given when it's because you had no choice! Assuming we've got it right that the premises weren't secure!!

IAmReallyFabNow · 17/01/2011 10:26

Was your dh able to walk straight into the house? Did he knock and she let him in? I am a bit confused.

StarExpat · 17/01/2011 10:30

- both ChildrenAtHeart and Looney make good points about paying notice... I'm not sure what is meant to happen.

I think I would think the contract is no longer valid, as looney says. But wouldn't want ofsted to think I was wriggling out of a payment. So I don't know what I would do... but she certainly doesn't deserve a penny more than what she has worked if she's in breach of her contract (in moral terms).

StarExpat · 17/01/2011 10:31

"The back gate was open so anyone could have walked in and we've got no idea how long he had been on his own."

It was open.

ChildrenAtHeart · 17/01/2011 10:47

Looney, I totally agree, I think it should be perfectly possible in this situation for a parent to refuse payment on the grounds of breach of contract, however I don't know the legal ins & outs of this and so wouldn't want to misinform. I have always been led to understand that the payment is still due & have seen stuff on here re CM's taking parents to court over this, even when it seems like it was the CM in the wrong. I just wouldn't want this CM to 'get away with it' if it was interpreted as a malicious complaint to avoid payment. I would suggest making the complaint, withdraw the child and terminate contract on grounds of complaint & request a final invoice, then take legal advice (many insurance policies etc now include a free legal advice line you could maybe take advantage of)on whether or not it has to be paid.

IAmReallyFabNow · 17/01/2011 10:52

HSMM · 17/01/2011 13:07

I don't think I would pay notice, as it appears the CM is not able to provide a safe level of care, so therefore cannot offer to work the notice and is unavailable.

ChildrenAtHeart · 17/01/2011 14:36

Unfortunately, I suspect unless a complaint is upheld and the CM's Registration suspended or cancelled technically she is still able to provide the contracted care.
I'm not saying pay (I know I did but have since retracted lol), I'm saying take legal advice 1st as op doesn't want to put herself in the wrong too. These things can so easily backfire however unfairly. I agree OP shouldn't have to pay but I think she may have to, even if she is then able to claim the money back. I hope I'm completely wrong!!!
The key thing is to ensure the child's safety by removing them from the CM care & ensure the safety of all the children at the setting by reporting to Ofsted & the Child Protection Officer ASAP.
OP do let us know how this progresses

sunshinenanny · 21/01/2011 19:07

This is unnacceptable. if child in buggy she should have taken him back to house with her. were there other children around?

I would never leave a child in aplace where anyone could walk in as your DP obviously did.

ChildrenAtHeart · 21/01/2011 21:06

Op, any update?

StarExpat · 26/01/2011 11:07

Whatever ended up happening with this?

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