I just dont know what to do? ...... bit long sorry

[Mosschops30]

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It is hard to let your child be looked after by anyone. I think it is common to be asked to pay ha000lf for hols. Can you not find a trm time only minder?
Her children are probably used to babies and pick them up always. not a comfort I know.
Will her children be there when your baby is there?

sorry don't want to make you paranoid but I would definitely have a problem with somebody looking after a 2 & 3 year old and a baby. Does she have other help? How can she supervise all 3 while cooking, using the bathroom etc. Maybe I am out of touch as I have never used a childminder but it would worry me.

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aargh, trying to find childminder for my baby too and know I feel ambivalent about anyone - I want someone perfect, and am not sure they exist (and have a vacancy and want to have my dd two-three days a week!)

aargh, trying to find childminder for my baby too and know I feel ambivalent about anyone - I want someone perfect, and am not sure they exist (and have a vacancy and want to have my dd two-three days a week!)

would not trust anyone who leaves a 2 and 3 year old alone with a 8 month old unless theuy are all siblings

I'd agree with Mud, i wouldn't leave my own 2 and 3 year old with my own 8 month old, and I'm not that paranoid - but they are not responsible enough. And you expect a childminder to be more cautious than a parent not less. I suspect the childminder isn't being careful enough.

3 pre-schoolers is normal for childminders, I wouldn't find that a problem in itself. but I'd say the baby needs to be looked after carefully and never left with the others.

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Hi. I am a childminder and would NEVER leave my ds (2.6) or mindees of that age with an 8 month old. The number of children is fine (I have my own ds and 2 other toddlers) as you are allowed up to 3 under 5's however I'm very surprised she left those ages all together. I know from my ds and the mindees I have that children of 2/3 have lots of energy and wouldn't know how careful they would need to be with a younger baby. Even if they are so good that they do know to be careful, I would not be happy about them being able to pick a younger child up like that. I've never gone in a different room to do contracts but am not saying this is really bad. I do however think she should have let you have your baby with you as 8 months is too young to be left alone (my own ds started crawling at 6 months and 1 day old and was into EVERYTHING so I'd say best to be with an adult at all times!!!

As for Fennels comment 'And you expect a childminder to be more cautious than a parent not less. I suspect the childminder isn't being careful enough.' - I totally agree. I don't neglect my own ds (promise!!) but I feel a duty to watch other people's children even more carefully!

I'm sorry to say that I'd go with my gut feeling.

Hope you sort something out!

As for the charges for holidays, I'm afraid that is quite normal as she'd loose a lot of income otherwise. If you want term time only care, I'd contact your local CIS for a list of childminders who offer this.

Just read your next post. You shouldn't have to say you feel uncomfortable, it just shouldn't happen.

Sorry, just my opinion!

Agree with batters!

Just say to her that you have found something else more conveinient.
I'd go with you instinct - I think

Mosschops don't do it. How could you relax; if she's that blase about her kids alone with your baby while you're there, it's not going to be any better once you're gone.

I'm afraid that I also don't like the lack of supervision - you'd think that she would be more conscientious about it whilst you're there! What would have happened if you hadn't checked on your baby?

If you are having reservations now, it is not suddenly going to get better. I don't understand why on earth she would suggest you leave your baby in another room??

I don't charge for school holidays if parents want term-time only, but not all minders will do this.

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Don't know what to say but I do feel for you!

Where are you Mosschops, can we find you anyone?

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You have my sympathies, I hope you get sorted soon

hi Mosschops

well if you don't have many options I think it's worth talking to her. I had a childminder who was very nice and caring but used to leave my dd1 sleeping in a buggy outside her front door. I wasn't happy with this but talked to her - told her I knew I was being a bit paranoid - and she agreed not to do it again. and she didn't. In one way it's good that the childminder is not hiding how she treats the children from you. so if you say, that while your ds is so little you are really not comfortable with him being left in a room with toddlers, she might be prepared to take notice.

and i suppose too, thinking about it, my dd3 does get heaved around quite a lot by her big sisters and it doesn't actually harm her. or hasn't yet. I guess they do survive the rough and tumble.

am not saying it's ideal but maybe it is worth trying a bit longer with this childminder if there's no obvious alternative.

I am a childminder and my DS is 10 years and I have been minding since he was about 2.5

I have never let him pick up any child that I was minding

Ok if it was in the family but deffo not mindees

I am that she let a 3 year old do that

I hope you find someone else soon

Hi Mosschops, this is a difficult one for you & I do sympathise. I'm a childminder, only 2 months experience, but agree with everyone else that to leave an 8 month old with a 2 and 3 year old is not a good plan. I would say, stick with your gut reaction, if it doesn't feel right, then don't go for it as I don't think you would ever really feel happy or relaxed. Surely better to find a childminder that you are happy with but that lives a bit further away, than be constantly worried and unhappy about your ds.
Good luck with whatever you decide, I hope it works out for you.

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