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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

My chilminder put my kids out in her garden because I was 10 mins late

59 replies

mimosa · 13/10/2010 00:38

Am I over-reacting?
Due to circumstances beyond my control I was 10 mins late collecting my children today. When I arrived they were in their coats with their bags by their feet, sat in my childminders gargen (They are 3 and 5) She was with them. It was 6.10 and getting dark, and very cold.
I know I only pay her until 6, but this is the first time I have ever been late and every other day I collect them a good 15-20 mins early.
What would have happened if I had had an accident or been held up even longer - how long would she have kept them out there?
I need to know that if I am ever in that situation again, that my children are being looked after still.
I would happily pay her if I am late - but I really feel like she doesnt have the best interest of my children at heart.
I am new to this using a childminder lark - and I dont know if I am over-reacting. What should I do?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

RandomMusings · 13/10/2010 00:46

She may have had an appointment to go to, and got them ready to go, and out of the house to expedite leaving?

You don't know if they had literally stepped over the threshold before you pulled up

Did you ring/text to say you were running late?

Perhaps they were getting upset that you hadn't arrived and she took them out to look at the lovely moon (a proper man in the moon moon tonight) and stars for distraction?

How can she not have been looking after them? They had their coats on and were with her

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 13/10/2010 00:47

Well, she was with them, she didn't abandon them out there in the dark. I suppose she thought she was just getting them ready so that there'd be no further delay. I can't imagine that she'd have sat out there with them all night - given that you (I assume?) hadn't rung to tell her you'd be late, she must have assumed you were only minutes away, and it makes sense to get them ready.

I think you're seeing it as a punishment, where she was seeing it as getting them ready so that her evening wasn't delayed. If she'd left them alone, I'd be outraged, but sitting with two children who had coats on, waiting for their mum, sounds fine to me. She was still looking after them.

stomp · 13/10/2010 07:17

I agree she probably had them ready because she was going out herself. I would imagine she is usually happy to chat while you get your childrens shoes and coats on? but speaking from experience sometimes this can take a while and extend into family time (which mostly is not a problem). I expect the children thought it was quite exciting being out in the dark ??
Rest assured your childminder will always make sure your children are safe. All childminders must have a policy ?non collection of children? it covers issues of Safeguarding (contacting SS after a certain period etc etc) but mine also covers asking parents to let me know if they are running late, emergency contact person to pick-up if a parent is delayed, payment to cover any of my cancelled appointments/social event etc etc

YunoYurbubson · 13/10/2010 07:25

I can't reply to this OP without being snarky.

FFS!

She got them wrapped up warm in their coats and waited outside with them for their mummy who was running late and would be there any minute.

What EXACTLY are you upset about?

pooka · 13/10/2010 07:31

So the alternative was for her to wait inside with the children NOT ready, only to go through the process of getting them ready when you arrived?

Which would have meant them being off-site, and leaving sometime beyond the 10 minutes you were late by.

Which isn't fair to the childminder. And at least this way your kids were ready to go and not rushed through getting shoes and coats on when you did arrive.

It is not a problem IMO for kids, wearing coats, to be outside at 6pm for 10 minutes, supervised by their childminder. Mine love being outside in the twilight and fresh air.

I'm sure if you were even later she'd have taken them in. But if you rang her to say how long you'd be...

rainbowinthesky · 13/10/2010 07:32

That's happened to me if I've been running a few minutes late and childminder is going out. No big deal at all. Seems pretty sensible actually.

Gorionine · 13/10/2010 07:36

Mimosa, I think you are overreacting a bit. They were safe, properly dressed in her garden and she was out with them. The fresh air will not have hurt them nor will the dark.

Original poster

mimosa · 13/10/2010 07:49

Thanks, its good to gain some perspective.
I feel less upset about it today. They didnt look like they were having much fun and quite miserable actually. But then I am sure they just wanted to go home.
I need to discuss this with her.
I think it was just that to me, it looked like the money had run out of the meter and so they were not entitled to the same care as prior to pick up time.

Maybe I am overracting a bit.........its very hard when you have to use childcare, when really you would just like to be home with your kids.
I think its the realisation that although the childminder probably does like children, its still really a business to her.
Buts thanks for helping me see all sides of the situation.

OP posts:

Gorionine · 13/10/2010 08:01

"I think it was just that to me, it looked like the money had run out of the meter and so they were not entitled to the same care as prior to pick up time."

I would have thought that as well if she had just left them alone outside but she was with them so clearly still cared.

southeastastra · 13/10/2010 08:08

i think it's a bit off, and who would organise to go out so soon after expecting them to go home.

sorry to go against the grain

ayla99 · 13/10/2010 08:10

I had to do this when a parent was late (having chosen to book an MOT on the way home as it turned out). I was late for my first aid course and by handing child over in the front garden I was able to jump straight in my car and not lose any more time over it. I could have been asked to resit the whole course again (and pay again).

the problem with "circumstances beyond control" is that parents don't often have timem to notify the childminder so the childminder doesn't have time to re-arrange any other commitments they may have that day.

Northernlurker · 13/10/2010 08:14

You were late - that's probably why they looked miserable!

cath476 · 13/10/2010 08:32

As an ex-childminder, this is not something I would have done. If I was in a rush, I may have got their coats and shoes on and sat with them with a book/TV until their parent arrived. I see no need to sit in the front garden and it really doesn't seem very kind to be bundling the children into the car as soon as the parent arrived. Doesn't make the children feel very welcome IMHO. Everyone can be late now and again and personally, I wouldn't book an appointment which required me to leave the house as soon as the parent is due. Must just be me though...

RosieGirl · 13/10/2010 08:37

I take my own children to swimming lessons one evening a week. I have informed all of my parents that I need to leave at XX'o clock, sometimes they are still late, (sometimes the children end up coming with me and parents have to track me down) and I will get the children ready to go, sometimes loading my own children into the car, so there is no fussing when mum/dad arrives, otherwise it will be another 5-10mins trying to get them sorted when I really need to be leaving.

There was a thread about charging when parents are late recently. Its very difficult to find a good compromise between flexible and being a pain.

All our local nurseries/pre-schools have the children stood waiting in their coats with their lunch boxes, so if parents are 10/15mins late, as well as getting charged a hefty late collection fee, they will be standing there all that time, as the nursery won't take them out of their coats only to do it again when mum arrives.

Do you have an agreement with her with regards to late collection? You may find on certain evenings she has something else on and needs to leave.

upahill · 13/10/2010 08:38

What excatly do you need to discuss with her?

saintlydamemrsturnip · 13/10/2010 08:39

I've used childminders a lot (and nurseries) and would have been fairly at that. OK in the summer if they were waiting and playing outside, but sat there on a bench waiting? I wouldn't be that impressed. Inside watching TV with coats on and bags ready to go by the front door = ok to me, outside with coats on playing = fine as well, but not what you describe.

RosieGirl · 13/10/2010 08:43

Southeast & Cath you say you wouldn't make an appointment soon after children are due to be collected, but I work 7am-6pm so if I need to go to the doctors or vets or any other appointments they sometimes open up to 7pm so that extra 10/15mins can make a big difference, I try and let parents know if I need to be on time, but its not always possible, there should be give and take on both sides.

TennisFan · 13/10/2010 09:17

I'm with saintly on this - the way you have described it is not OK in my opinion. I think it comes across as rude - they could have been ready sitting inside the house, no need to 'make a point' by sitting outside.

cory · 13/10/2010 09:27

The rudeness, if any, would seem to lie in the childminder letting the parent see that she, too, has a life outside of business hours. But maybe she does?

I can't imagine healthy well dressed children coming to any harm from waiting in the garden for 10 minutes- how is this any worse than having to wait in the playground at school?

lifeinagoldfishbowl · 13/10/2010 09:35

Southeastastra

"who would organise to go out so soon after expecting them to go home"

People who have to rush to sainsburys to grab something for supper, people who have to pick someone up from the train station, people who have courses, people who have arranged to meet a friend for a drink/cinema/meal.

I am a nanny and not a childminder so slightly different but if I work till 5.30 then I am more than able to make plans as off 5.40 - giving me 10 minutes for a handover and getting somewhere - there have been a coule of occassions due to my boss running late that I have stood at the front door ready to leg it as soon as she gets in as I will miss the start of a film at the cinema, will be late for babysitting etc etc. I am dedicated to the children in my care but come 5.30 then I will be out the door unless booked for overtime - and I expect a call/text.

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/10/2010 09:43

im often doing stuff after work, whether going shopping for weekly food or getting petrol/doctors appointment/gym class etc so yes i would want/need to leave on time most nights

tbh i dont think the cm did anything wrong - the kids had coats on and she was outside with them - if you had come in then there would have been another 10mins of fluffing/coats on etc :)

CheeseandGherkins · 13/10/2010 09:45

It's nowhere near dark at 6pm here.

RandomMusings · 13/10/2010 09:59

The CM may also have thought she was helping, the thought process could have gone ''Mummy having had a delay at the end of her day, might need to get on to start bath and bedtime - let's get the children at the starting blocks so that Mummy can whip straight home without any further delays''

thisisyesterday · 13/10/2010 10:01

well... you need to talk to her.
it might be that she had got them all ready at 6pm and then when you didn't arrive she said, "let's go wait in the garden and watch for mummy"
and it meant they were all ready to just jump in the car with you

had you called to let her know what time you would bet here?>

hmc · 13/10/2010 10:05

I think it all depends upon the CMs manner and demeanour. Was she offhand and slightly abrupt with you - suggesting that she was perhaps making a point? (not good, uber petty - particularly as you have only been late once and are generally early)... Or was she quite relaxed and normal?

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