CM Leaving children with someone else while she "pops" out

[kitkat2507]

Hi All, im just after a little bit of guidance, I arrived early today to pick my 2 dd from the CM, to find the CM was no there! from what i gather the CMs own dd had a doctors appointment so she had left mine with her mum and husband while she took her, apparantly the CMs mum had given them there tea. the CM had no mentioned this to me or tried to call me, she arrived home just as i was leaving and it felt very awkward! im not sure what to make of the situation at all and advice would be really appreciated x

Hi, well I think you know what you would have expected? To have been told of the appointment in advance, to have been advised that it was difficult to attend with other children so she would need to arrange for someone to look after your daughters. For her to check with you that you were comfortable about her mother and husband looking after them.

It looks like she has given some thought and planning to this, but she has just failed to let you know.

I would just say, about yesterday, I was surprised to find the girls were not with you. I am grateful for you organising for someone to be with them in a safe environment whilst you were out, but my expectations in future would be that you would let me know as much as possible in advance.

Good luck - childminders are a real minefield!

Is her DH or mother registered as an assistant? Have you signed a consent form to say your DC can be left with said assistant?

If not then CM is out of line, not covered by her insurance and in breach of contract.

I'd be upset and annoyed. She should have at least asked you if you minded - I assume that her dh and mum are not listed as co-minders in your contract.

I assume the doctor's appointment was planned and not an emergency - in which case I would expect the CM to do it in her own time or get her dh or her mum to take their child, while she did her job of looking after mindees.

However if you are overall happy with your CM then I think you just need to say that she should not do this again without your express permission.

No no no, its wrong.
the only time we (minders) can leave children with someone else (other than an assistant) is in a genuine emergency.
If we do have to leave children with someone else then we have to inform the parents at the earliest opportunity.
At the very least, she should have said to you prior to the appointment or rung to you to say.
She has breached her insurance and regulations.
She has put her husband and mother at risk as well.
She has put the children at risk - the qualified first aider was not on the premises etc
you are paying HER to care for your children

If you are inclined to, you could broach it with her in a nice way and tell her it must not happen again
Or you could make a formal complaint as in accordance with her Complaints procedure.

As a childminder myself i find this very unprofessional.
Of course there are times when we have to get an appointment for our children for example - but why could the husband/dad not have taken the daughter.

Here here Pippin couldn't have said it better myself.

JS - 'childminders are a minefield' ????

what pippin said

and what UPOW said too

NO.

There should be risk assessments and criminal record checks made and you should have consented. (I'm not a 'worried' parent)but you pay money for a service. I'm an occupational therapist. I can't send someone else to do my job. Neither should a CM.

She needs to be reported to Ofsted. Childminders are not even supposed to leave kids in the car with someone else.
The appointment was not an emergency. She just thought she could get away with it.
How do you know if she has been doing this kind of thing regularly?

And JS they are NOT a minefield. Each CM has his or her own way of working but they all MUST comply with Ofsted regulations, you just shop around until you find the one that suits you and your familly.

My childminder had a hospital appointment yesterday.

She mentioned it in passing last week & I asked her if she needed me to find someone to have my children for that afternoon.

She said her sister would mind the children. This would have been fine with me! But as it happened, my sister was off & she is always happy to mind my two anytime.

So they got to spend an afternoon with their aunt.

I don't know what would have happened if she had've went on to the appointment & not made me aware that my children were being looked after by her sister...not sure I would have been that bothered really, as I know all her family & they're lovely.

So not much help I'm afraid

Thing is though 99% of the time nothing would happen and it would all be fine.

Tonight I picked my kids up from CM all fine.

Brought them home, gave DD porridge and made her laugh. She started to choke. I slapped her hard. She threw up. I was there to comfort her. It was horrible, but everything was OK. This happened in a split second (as accidents do), but my point is if she was with someone not known to her/or first aid trained it could have turned out differently. Not saying she would have died but I'm sure she would have been more distressed.

Not trying to scaremonger, but i also think it makes a mockery of the valuable work that CMs do.

Fairhaired - you should be bothered. All my family are 'lovely' as is my neighbour who the children know very well.
The point is that the childminder is the registered person - meaning that they have been deemed to be suitable looking after children - therefore the insurance is validated and granted. The childminder is the first aider and thus through their training able to deal with and accident or emergency. Worse case senario - a child chokes - I know what to do and how to attempt to sustain life until help arrives - as lovely as my neighbour is and my husband for that matter (although I have disseminated my knowledge) - neither would know how to carry out CPR as they have not been trained or given the information about what to expect.
Does that make sense.
also if a child was to have an accident in their care - they are not insured, they are not the registered person either.
I make every effort to safeguard children in my care but also myself, family and visitors - no WAY would I place them in a situation that would make them vulnerable.
We all think it won't happen to us but there is a thread on another forum where a child has made a comment and now the childminder is fearing about allegations against her. I HAVE been in that position where a child made up fantasy tales about what people have done to her (she was 2yr old and she has been the only child who has frightened me with her stories), including her dad throwing her down the stairs and showing me the bruises - this was not true - I knew where she got the bruises from, her brother biting her - she bit herself on numerous occasions, she would tell her parents that I hit and smacked her - NOT TRUE, she said my son strangled her - he was only just over a year old and was quarter of her size and these were some of the 'minor' stories she concocted. Parents knew she was a story teller - thank goodness but I was so on edge with her and would not allow anyone to be alone with her even for a second. No way was I going to allow my precious family to be accused of something

Think Pippin and I x-posted!

She thought she could get away with it. Make sure she doesn't.

I would not be happy at all - you pay the CM for her to take care of your child, it's not up to her to delegate the job to someone else! She's not doing you a favour, she's providing a professional childcare service.

At the very least, she should have let you know about the arrangements beforehand so you could have made a choice.

Huge breach of trust, even without considering the implications with Ofsted.

I have my mother as an emergency backup. All parents know this as it is in my policies. She would only be left with the children in a real emergency (ie me, my DD, or a mindee being rushed to hospital). She is CRB checked (but doesn't have to be for this role). All parents would have been informed immediately either by me, or my mother what arrangements had been made.

If this was a pre booked doctor's appointment, or you had not been made aware of any emergency care procedures and you were not informed what was happening, then it is a definite no no in my book!

It's utterly wrong unless there was an emergency for which she could not have planned.
If she had to rush a child to hospital or something, fair enough, but it is completely out of order to leave your child with someone else without your consent in any other circumstances.

Something like that would be a big red flag for me, because it shows a disregard for professional standards. I would see if I could find a new CM tbh.

my cm has taken ds with her child when they needed to go to doc at short notice, is most educational for him.

she would never ever leave the children with anyone else and i am really shocked that people think this is ok. no wonder johannas thinks cm are a 'minefield' if this is the expectation.

it is a shame that there isn't more publicity about the training and standards which cm must attain, too many people think they are babysitters.

maybe was an emergancy appointment but as she left her mindess with an unregistered person her insurance isnt valid

from what i gather even if she had told you, she still cant leave her mindees with a non cm/assistant

Wow, Fishie!! I have never - ever! - classed myself as a babysitter and dont know any other cms who do!!!! I'm a childcare professional who has worked hard to gain 2 level 3 qualifications over the last 5yrs, along with all of the other 'training and standards' that we have to have in order to meet the welfare requirements of EYFS!!!

I work a 50hr week, earn roughly the minimum wage after expenses, but have never left a child with anyone else - although I do have a policy which names my DH and DD1 (both crb checked) as emergency carers and parents sign an agreement to this effect.

OP, I would have a chat with cm along the lines that you were a bit surprised and shocked that she wasnt there at hometime and feel a bit uncomfortable that your dc was left with other adults without her advising you in advance, albeit it was with her DH and mother. Agree she shouldnt have done it - but parents out there reading this, please be assured that cms are NOT in the habit of leaving mindees with unregistered, uninsured adults.

Off to bed now - ready for a 7.30am start

Thnk fishie's point was other people think CMs are just babysitters not that any CMs class themselves as such.

As in the 'oh you just look after children/play all day/it's not a real job'. Or parents who say they leave their childfen with a babysitter when really it's a CM.

Oh I really dont know what to do now, it was not an emergency, and i suppose her mum or her childs dad could have taken her to the docs, I dont know if she has done this before, I suspect maybe judging from something my lettle one said last night, I dont want to quiz the girls too much as they may repeat me to the CM. I think she just did not expect me to be early, I asked the girls how long she had been but they dont really have a concept of time, it was long enough for the CMs mum to make the girls tea and them to eat it before I arrived tho. Thing is I dont want to get into any awkwardness with the Cm there are very few in my area and they are all very pally, so i would imagine if i upset this one I wont get another!. thanks so much for all your comment so far they are all really helpful, what is annoying tho is had she have rang me she would no there would be no probelm in me collecting the girls say an hour early as i have done for her in the past.

Why could the CM's DH or mother take the child to the doctors?
When I Cm'd prevously and now, DH was slited as the emergency cover provider, he knows the children they know him,a nd where we live now he knows all the aprents too. He has 6 CRB checks, he is first aid trained etc.

Only once have I ever put mindees into the care of someone else, and that was when a previous mindee developed symptoms of meningitis. The quickest way for me to get him seen was to take him with DH to Dundee, where I could meet his mum. I rang the parent of the toehr mindess - both schoola ge children - and told her what was happening, and said was it ok for my neighbour x to pick them up as neighbours dd was in the elder mindees class and she knew them.

However, that was indeed a dire emergency

the DH is not a minder or a firstaider, or listed as an emergency care provider to my knowledge, it does not mention on my contract anyway. The CM took her DD to the doctors to query an ear infection, so im not sure if this is an emergency or not, I would not class this as an emergency but some might. the CM did not call me or mention an appointment at any time, it just so happened I arrived earlier than usual to pick the girls up and she was not there. I wondered if this was common practice, and where we would be if kids had an accident or something