CM Leaving children with someone else while she "pops" out

[kitkat2507]

Hi All, im just after a little bit of guidance, I arrived early today to pick my 2 dd from the CM, to find the CM was no there! from what i gather the CMs own dd had a doctors appointment so she had left mine with her mum and husband while she took her, apparantly the CMs mum had given them there tea. the CM had no mentioned this to me or tried to call me, she arrived home just as i was leaving and it felt very awkward! im not sure what to make of the situation at all and advice would be really appreciated x

Hi
I have had occasion over the 10 years that i have childminded to take my own children to hospital appointments/ doctors/ dentist etc and have always told the parents of these when pre booked and if the parents cant get anyone else to have their children i have just taken themwith me, the only time this was a problem was when my daughter who was about 6 at the time had to have an mri scan, 2 of the parents couldnt get the time off so i took my mom with me and she sat with the mindees in the waiting room just whilst my daughter had the actually mri scan, i had fully informed the parents of what i would do if they couldnt get the time off and they had signed to say that my mom would be with them all the time and i would be in the scan for less than half an hour.
It is hard as a parent and childminder when your own children need appointments and i am not saying it is easy taking my child as 6/7 year old to try to talk to the doctor about thier ear/ throat etc ache, when you have 3 under 5's with you as well but at the end of the day you get through it best you can i try to get the nap time agreeable with the doctors appointment so maybe one of them is asleep in a pushchair and i take a book each for the others and just try to talk to the doctor for the couple of minutes it takes to for something like ear ache, I know it sounds hard but the parents pay for me to look after their child so i look after their children at the same time as mine.

It doesn't need to be a big confrontation with the CM - just tell her you're not comfortable with her leaving your children with other people, and if a problem arises in the future she's to let you know so you can make alternative arrangements.

I would be so if this happened with my ds. I know my cm would never do this, because she is professional and honest. You do need to say something to her - even just gently, that you'd like to know in the future if this is going to happen. Don't think that you need to please her in order to have a cm for your dc. She does not have this power over you. You pay her to care for your children and keep them safe. She is out of line, out of order... did she even say anything to you when she got home about it? To explain at least (not that it would excuse it, but just wondering if she just brushed it off and thought you should be ok with it or if she felt caught out...)

I agree with thesecondcoming - the other cms would be disgusted with this behaviour.

And I agree, not all cms are like this. It's not a minefield, but this one needs reporting to ofsted.

StarExpat, it was very awkward as she walked in just as I was leving, she did not say anything about it, I was more shocked to be honest, that she was not there when I got there, this morning she was overly nice, so I think deep down she knows she is on the wrong, it has made me wonder though if she has done this before which I would be very angry about

I think you should say something when you collect them. Nicely, of course.... but something. Just so it's out there in the open. Otherwise, you'll always be wondering if it's happening or going to happen again and you can't have your children with someone you don't trust. She also needs to know that you noticed and were a bit shocked by it.

you do need to bring it up and just say you are not happy that she left your child with someone else - and mention that her insuarnce wouldnt have been valid and that ofsted would disaprove

to which all cm's would know this anyway iyswim

I don't think you need to be confrontational about it but you do need to say something - surely someone else could have taken her child to the Drs but at the very least she should have contacted you