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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

hoping for a home birth but what about the neighbours?

35 replies

MrsMiamla · 01/07/2010 09:53

this is pg2 and we're hoping for a home water birth. I'm really looking forward to being able to control the environment, not having randoms walking into the room to have a look at my fanjo etc etc

but.. one concern i do have is my neighbours. I was really noisy during DS's birth and I'm worried I'm going to scare their children (my DS will hopefully be at my mum's at this point unless DC2 makes a particularly fast appearance!)

We live in a semi so only really got one side to worry about. I get on really well with them so it is something I can pop round and have a chat to them about but I don't really know what to say. The children will be off school by then so it will be very likely that they'll be around

i will of course try to keep the noise down but its not something i want to be focusing on iyswim. I've got a hypnobirthing course booked so hoping that might help channel my energies away from screaming!

i have always been amazed/impressed with the collective help of mn before so thought i'd ask...anyone got any cunning ideas?

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nubbins · 01/07/2010 10:12

well, my own children were in my house when I gave birth and neither was woken by my noise (though it was only in the last hour or so that I made any noise. One dd was asleep downstairs and the other in the room next door to me).

I would talk to your neighbour, but unless her kids are particularly disturbed by noises, shouldn't think there is anything to worry about. They probably wouldn't even know what the noise was anyway.

Original poster

MrsMiamla · 01/07/2010 10:30

sounds like you're not a particularly noisy birther then nubbins! That, or your children are incredibly heavy sleepers!

thanks though, i appreciate your comments

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foreverastudent · 01/07/2010 10:34

I think you're likely to be naturally quieter during a homebirth anyway.

Most babies are born during the night so they'll probably sleep through it, my DS did.

GwennieF · 01/07/2010 11:27

Are the childrens' bedrooms on the ajoining wall? Would they hear from the other side of the house?

If it's during the day they might not notice/telly might be on...

Surely if you get on with them and they already have children of their own, they'll totally understand.

You never know - she might have been a screamer herself. I spent the first couple of hours in the hospital laughing with my MW at the poor woman who was making whale noises down the corridor - only to find myself mooing like a cow later that night...

nunnie · 01/07/2010 11:42

I wouldn't invite the neighbours if it were me

I am sure it will all be fine, unless you have paper thin walls I doubt they'll hear everything.

Spirael · 01/07/2010 16:25

I'd just have a chat with them and explain you're hoping to homebirth, so if they hear any noises relating to that, they don't need to worry or call the police or anything.

I discovered after speaking to my attached neighbours that they're actually off on holiday for the two weeks surrounding my due date. So assuming things happen in that time period, I can make as much noises as I want!

You might discover the same thing with your neighbours and solve the problem that way. Alternatively, if it's during the night I would think they'll sleep through it. If it's during the day they can always take a trip out if it's causing any distress!

rebeccacad · 01/07/2010 16:29

I let my neighbours know in advance, but in the end they didn't hear a peep. I was very loud when pushing and doing a whole host of crazy moaning earlier on. We live in a flat with almost no soundproofing and they claim not to have heard a thing!

Original poster

MrsMiamla · 01/07/2010 16:59

lol rebecca, i feel your neighbours may have been being polite

ooh, i really hope they are going to be away but having read your comments, feeling alot happier about it

gwennie i really hope your baby wasn't born in July 08 otherwise it might have been me making all the noise just down the corridor from you!

nunnie i just knew someone would mention something about not inviting them! thanks for not disappointing me

forever i can but hope!

spirael are you having a pool?

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Spirael · 01/07/2010 17:37

Yep. It's set up in my conservatory, so there's not even thick walls to block any sound, just the glass! (I'd like to add that there are blinds to cover the windows-!)

To be honest the amount of unruly kids and drunken teens/adults that stagger down my street, no-one is likely to notice yet another person making noise!

Original poster

MrsMiamla · 01/07/2010 18:21

ooh so when are you due? sounds like you're all ready!
when i asked my mw what I would need to get for a hb, her only advice was 'lots of cheap shower curtains'!
Ours is going in the conservatory too

good point about the unruly kids, we've got a few of them round here as well!

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Spirael · 01/07/2010 18:55

The conservatory seemed like a good plan to me, as it has a tiled floor so any mess can just be mopped up. For that reason any minor leaks from the pool aren't a major problem either. Also, the room has a ceiling fan, which might be necessary in the heat at the moment!

I just reached 37 weeks today, so I'm good to go whenever now. Though knowing my luck it'll be forcible eviction at the hospital in five weeks and all my preparations will have been for nothing! I'm planning to use the pool to relax in over the next few weeks though, so I'll get some use for it, at least.

For the homebirth, I've picked up some of the decorating sheets from the DIY store, the sort which are soft on one side and plastic on the other (and can cope with paint being poured on them!) to protect the carpets so I can pace around the house as desired. Aside from that, I've just got lots of buckets and old towels, really! My MW didn't seem to think much was needed either.

Oh, I did need to see the doctor though to get a prescription for Pethidine and an anti-nausea drug, which then needed to be ordered in by the chemist before I could pick them up. I'm hoping not to use them but figured I'd get some just in case! The gas and air is brought by the MWs apparently, so didn't need to worry about that.

I've packed a hospital bag too, just in case-!

DoulaKate · 01/07/2010 19:10

I homebirthed in a small terrace house and the neighbours both sides said they didn't hear. One nieghbour said she was listening out as they saw the midwife arrive and got all excited. If you know your neighbours well, I bet they'll feel the same and won't be disturbed by any noises, if anything, they may even listen out for them! You might hear a cheer from them when your baby first cries!! Both our neighbours have small children and I birthed in the middle of the night and their kids weren't disturbed.

nunnie · 01/07/2010 19:56

Oh I hate being predicatable

diggingintheribs · 01/07/2010 19:58

You should definitely tell them

My midwife was just telling me yesterday that she attended a homebirth where the police were called because the neighbours were worried!

FessaEst · 01/07/2010 20:11

I roared long & loud when DD crowned! We live in a small terraced house and I was convinced the neighbours must be able to hear. My Mum even commented I might have put next-door's daughter off having children!! However, both sets of next-door neighbours expressed surpeise and delight that I had had the baby when they saw us with the pram a couple of days later! The walls must be thicker than I thought! Good luck, homebirths are fab

DoulaKate · 01/07/2010 20:54

You weren't nunnie. I had a chuckle at your comment!

Original poster

MrsMiamla · 02/07/2010 08:22

wow! sounds like labour noises are special in that they can't be heard outside of your own home...brilliant!!

decorators' sheets are a great idea so thanks for that one spriael. we're using our conservatory because its the only room left that needs decorating. DH was trying to convince me to replace the flooring in there before baby. I suggested that this might not be one of his best ideas! Having been pretty much tied to my bed for DS's birth (not my choice, hospital wouldn't let me walk around/move ), I'm really looking forward to being able to walk round the garden. I have very strong memories of missing fresh air before!
And yes, I'll be packing a bag too but really really hope that all that happens with it is that it gets unpacked..at home!

hmm, i'm assuming someone will tell me if i need to get any drugs

oh nunnie, i'm sorry, i did chuckle too though if that makes you feel better!

thanks fessaest... loving that your neighbours were surprised to see you with a baby despite the roaring!

digging... good grief, last thing i need is the police turning up!!

doulakate...oh and cheer when the baby cries sounds amazing!

I really appreciate everyone sharing their experiences...thank you!

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hawesmead5 · 02/07/2010 21:15

I had a surprise homebirth!
Luckily the neighbours were away on holiday!
DS was in the room next door and he did wake up but as I had my lo in the bathroom DS thought that I was having a very big poo!!! Bless him

lukewarmcupoftea · 02/07/2010 21:23

I wouldn't worry, they'll pretend they never heard a thing!

I (mostly) birthed dd2 at home last June, in the hot week with all the doors and windows open. Mum had to give dd1 tea at the end of the garden as the noise was so horrendous (amazingly she still went to sleep only 20mins later than normal). I was carted off to the hospital screaming all the way into the ambulance (don't worry, nothing serious or meaning that I don't think homebirth is potentially fab).

Guess what? Nobody heard a thing.

Yeah right, this went on for hours, they could hear me in the next town let alone next door. At the time, it won't even enter your head to care. Good luck, hope it all goes smoothly and quietly for you!

Original poster

MrsMiamla · 02/07/2010 22:35

during my first labour the mw told me i had to be quiet because otherwise i wouldn't be able to hear her instructions. i politely (yeah right!) told her that if i needed to know anything imporant that my DH would relay the message to me

hawesmead woah! a surprise hb?? good grief!

lukewarm i'm with you on them all lying to you!

i've found out today that DC2 is engaged already so i'd better go round and chat to the neighbours tomorrow

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Reallytired · 02/07/2010 22:47

Second births are generally easier than first births. I found that when I gave birth my neighbours were so excited that they didn't care about noise. Infact they were worried about me because they didn't hear anything.

Maybe it helps that my neighbours were in their 90s and deaf as posts. They were all excited and chatted about their home births that they had over 60 years ago.

I also had a different neighbour give birth three weeks before me. I didn't hear much. Infact I felt really excited for her. The atmosphere in our street was electric. The litle old ladies were a bit disappointed when another neighbour decided to give birth in hospital.

Or do I just live in a mad street.

pooka · 02/07/2010 22:52

My neighbours all said after the fact that they hadn't heard anything (though immediate semi-detached neighbour did say he thought we'd been doing some decorating because they heard some banging ). I think that was when the bedroom door slammed a couple of times (self closers) when dh and the midwife were to-ing and fro-ing, and the second midwife did have to hammer on the door a bit before we realised she ws there.

The lead midwife on the other hand, when relaying birth story to the second midwife who turned up an hour later, said she could hear me from right up the street. But then maybe she was tuned into it/expecting it.

FWIW it didn't even occur to me at the time. And ds1 and dd slept through the lot of it. We were in our loft bedroom and they were on the floor below.

pooka · 02/07/2010 22:53

and was 11.30pm and rarely decorate at that time!

Original poster

MrsMiamla · 03/07/2010 10:13

reallytired i suspect your street may be a little mad but it does sound a lovely experience. More like how communities used to be

pooka your comment about the mw only hearing it because she was 'tuned in' made me smile!

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Original poster

MrsMiamla · 09/07/2010 15:44

finally plucked up the courage to mention it to them yesterday and they're going to be away for 2 weeks when i'm 38wks to 40wks BONUS!!

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