How many...

[JosieSmith1]

How many people wanted a lovely calm birth but had to go into hospital and have interventions/caesarean once their labour started?

(I'm not yet pregnant by the way but the fear of labour is puting me off the whole idea!)

I have just been chatting to some women at work and they all planned lovely calm births but ended up having to go into hospital and were actually quite traumatised! Out of 5 births, 2 went to plan, which I find quite startling, but when I think about, out of 5 neices and nephews, only 2 were born to plan, the other 3 were emergency caesareans.

So now my plans of a lovely calm home birth have been thrown into disarray and although I was coming aruond to the idea and thought I could cope with a home birth with hypnotherapy, I am now terrified all over again that something will go wrong and I will end up going into hospital and having to have forceps/vonteuse etc.

So I wondered how many of you got the births that you'd planned and how many didn't.

It depends on what you mean by 'going to plan'... I planned on no pain relief but used Gas and Air. I planned on the waterbath but DS was too quick. I planned lots of things. But the main thing i planned was to have a baby... and I did that.

As far as I'm concerned we're so lucky compared to our ancestors. Mother and baby survives the experience in the vast majority of cases. In history that just wasn't the case.

And as for being worried about labour.... it's a piece of cake compared to being a mum

Ssssssh Knitternottwitter, we'll tell her that once she's six months preggers!

Well I have to admit now that all organising and sorting of finances has gone out the window and I have been encompassed by the idea of having a little baby all of my own, and if that means having to go through labour pains and even going into hospital and having all sorts of exams and poking and prodding, it'll be totally worth it (do you think the hypnotherapy cd might be having an effect?)

So off we gooooooo.......

woohoo - lots of SWI in the JosieSmith1 household...

off you head to the Conception busses...!

Oops, was that too much information, sorry!

Not at all

FWIW DH get's put on a strict '3 times a day' schedule when SWI in the Knitter household... works well for us...

Planned a home birth and had a home birth. Up and about the next day. But, we had fantastic midwife support - wouldn't have coped so well without.

You're doing the right thing. I planned a calm, lovely home waterbirth. Was transferred after 6hrs of pushing and had every intervention going, ending in an em cs and huge blood loss. Like Poppet, dd was occiput transverse and in something called 'deep transverse arrest' as well as asynclitic (ear first). She was in a very bad position and had modern medicine not been available to us, neither of us would be here.

I have ptsd following the birth and have had a very difficult time coming to terms with it. But I know now that it was the gap between my expectations and reality that caused it. I wasn't prepared for what could happen or how I might handle it. Had I thought about it, there were things I could have done during the delivery to have control. Like asking for the screens to be lowered for example or her not being cleaned/dressed before I saw her. Because I hadn't considered the possibilities it all felt totally out of my control. I was too focussed on the method of delivery fitting my ideal that I didn't recognise it for what it was. An unpredictable route to something else. One that you make plans for and work to make the experience you would like, but also one that you accept as the hand fate deals you.

If you are prepared and positive, chances are on your side. More firstimers don't transfer than do. But having a knowledge of what might happen and some control over and preparation for dealing with it might stand you in good stead.

Ha ha Knitter, that would be DH's idea of heaven!

Thanks PlasticCenturion, I think I'm more worried about what might happen and how I would deal with it so the more I explore what could possibly happen and am prepared for as many different outcomes as possible, then I can remain relaxed and in control, as you say.

Yes - DH does think it's a rather good scheme. The only 'problem' from his point of view is that it's so effective that he only gets a month or so of it!! And then as the pregnancy hormones get going I don't fancy it at all for about 2 months!

I didn´t plan anything-either time.

First born at home-didn´t know was in labour until could feel head.

2nd in hospital-went in after waters broke-no pain until 8cms.

No stitches or tears with either, gas & air with 2nd.

Was also terrified of giving birth-but more terrified when MW said perhaps have an epidural in case csection needed.

I think that the whole idea that you should have a birth 'plan' is entirely misleading, especially for first time mums. The process of birth is so much more intense, spontaneous and real than you can possibly imagine until you've actually been through it. Both of my DS (2yrs & 6mo) were 2 weeks late and 9lb 12oz. Both induced, both natural delivery with just gas and air. Both with no intervention, both healthy and gorgeous babies. I had a nasty tear with the first one from being too impatient to push him out after 3 days of labour but other than that no complications. Also breastfed both with no problems. I think the thing to focus on is that yes, some people require levels of intervention, some have natural births, some caesarean. Point is, of all the mums I know and in fact all the births in my family, however the births went, all the babies got here safely and mummies were ok too. Childbirth is incredibly intense, shocking, wonderful, painful but it is an experience that I am so grateful to have had and I count myself lucky to have been blessed enough to have gone through it twice.

Best of luck to you.

When I say no intervention I mean that I pushed the babies out without forceps/ventouse etc.

FWIW I called my 'birth plan' my 'birth preferences'.. I know it's just a word but as it wasn't a plan it seemed the wrong word to use...

I did a HypnoBirthing course as I was petrified of labour and childbirth. I also did pregnancy yoga. I considered a home birth but was ultimately too scared, so I went to hospital (which is split into a midwife-led unit and a consultant-led ward, all under the same roof and tbh I couldn't tell where one stopped and the other started )

I laboured at home and felt quite comfortable with the HypnoBirthing relaxation CD and my breathing. Went to hospital when I felt it was getting to the point where I wanted some pain relief. Was 9cm dilated on admission and fully dilated within minutes of arriving at hospital. Had a bit of gas & air and felt quite calm and not in terrible agony or anything - was really very manageable.

Sadly the baby was not as zen as I was and was very distressed. I could hear through the monitor (had a clip attached to her head) that her heartbeat was very low and erratic. Was whisked away for a c-section under general anaesthetic.

So not what I had hoped for (which was a natural birth followed by immediate skin to skin and attempts to breastfeed!!! Didn't meet baby til 4 hours after delivery due to GA) but I don't feel 'traumatised' and I didn't ever suffer awful pain. I have recovered well from the c-section and did ultimately manage to establish breastfeeding following a week in hospital with constant feeding support - it was bloody hard work, that part.
I would recommend looking at Hypnobirthing - I felt calm and in control throughout my birth experience and don't feel that I was ever in terrible pain or frightened.