What I heard at the hospital today....

[virgo1979]

nothing major happened, was called to the hospital for some blood tests today, my LFTs have been high and had some bile in blood and docs cant seem to agree what is causing it, but thats not the point. i was in a 4bed antenatal bay, i was on the bed on a monitor and DH was sitting in chair next to me, being usual self, curtains around us were drawn, when the woman across us diagonally let out the most blood curdling cry and sobbed for about 5 minutes. we could only hear her, not see her. dont know if she had an internal exam or had her waters broken or something (she was on gas and air after when she she made equally horrid noises) or what it was that actually made her cry but she had two midwifes in with her, and the midwife then said she was 3-4 cm, and about ten minutes later she was taken down to labour ward.

anyway, i have been trying to be quite positive about the labour aspect, am 38+1 with first DC. i know it will hurt, and am expecting to make some strange noises and swear at DH etc and probably make a fool of myself, but i cannot get those screams (more like blood curdling shrieks) out of my head.... i wanted to cry and cry and cry. even DHs face dropped. i know its one person and every one is different but STILL......

just had to get that off my chest. I wanted to tell you all that i am now officially terrified of going into labour....

virgo - some people will shriek, some will moan, some will grunt, some will wail.

Another person's experience will be different to yours; their pain threshold will be different, the position and size of the baby will be different - there are uncountable differences that mean a lot.

I had great birth fear but had hypnobirthing - the first thing I was told is that fear itself can contribute to the pain - if you are scared, the 'fight or flight' reaction kicks in; all energy goes to the muscles used for fighting or running away and is taken away from non-essential processes like digestion and giving birth. If a tiger came round the corner while you were in labour, you'd up and run, not carry on giving birth. Soooo - it's a bit late, but could still be helpful - get a dose of hypnobirthing asap - it really helps to take the fear out of the situation and the CD is great for falling asleep to

You'll be fine, honest.

Well if it's any consolation I didn't make any "blood curdling" cries, and I've had 3! Some people just tend to vocalise more, don't read too much into it. Yes, it is painful, but you'll manage, millions do. Please don't be terrified.

Don't let it put you off. I'm noisy during labour. Actually my IM said that often it's quiet people that get noisy during labour and more chatty types that tend to go quiet and more 'into themselves'.

I'd also say that my two births were very very different so it's not just different for different people.

Oh and I also get quite tearful during it too, often for no good reason . Try not to read too much into her crying.

MWs get a bit peeved if you're too noisy - they say you should be saving your energy (well, I guess they must get headaches...)

Labour hurts alot.

Pain relief is fantastic and must be taken if you feel you are not coping.

I planned an epidural with my second child and she came quickly - one and a quarter hours, so there was no time to administer it.

I literally 'screamed her out' so to speak but I must add because things were happening so quickly I was quite shocked and panicky.

I think labour sounds worse than it is - I remember it being painful but manageable, but I do still remember thinking through my gas and air haze 'what the hell is making those strange noises??', then realising it was me! I think for some people scraming/mooing/swearing etc helps them to cope with the pain.

You will be fine, you will cope, and if you can't there is always an epidural so never fear! Or perhaps I'm trying to convince myself, 40 weeks today with DC2

Oh gosh! i really sympathise. I was in an antenatal ward for 3(?) nights before being induced (had high BP) and, due to a jam-packed labour ward, people were going into labour all around me as I lay there waiting to either go home or be induced.

All I can say is that there are some painful bits. No getting away from it. But you're kind of in another "place" or "zone" or something, so somehow it's not the same as normal pain.
.....and all the cliches are true.... you DO forget it all afterwards... and it IS all worth it cos of what you get at the end.

Hang in there, and best of luck for when it finally happens

Please don't worry. I was in delivery suite for hours listening to women give birth, some shrieked, some just swore, they were all quicker than me!

I mainly giggled (gas an air, fab stuff), grunted a bit and swore.

Your body takes over, there are lots of pain relief methods and everyone is different. When you are "in the moment" it is quite strange how you just cope wth it all, honestly.

Good luck

I have supported some women in labour who;ve made a lot of noise from teh first twinge, to some who've remained almost silent apart from some loud breathing for the entire labour. some who've turned the air blue and others who've been so polite, it was like being at a tea party..

vocalising can help you deal with the pain.

from grunting, mooing, panting etc..to full on screaming..

please try not to focus too much on it as a bad thing..

Maybe she was having her waters broken - when I had that done it was the most painful aprt of the whole experience. That and my membrane sweep.

Fwiw I was induced and the girl opposite me moaned and whined and cried all night about the pain she was in (can you tell I got no sleep) - anyways turned out she wasnt even contracting according to midwives and it was just branxton hicks but because she was panicking and worrying about her boyf being sent home she was making it worse. Not her fault though as it is scary but if you try and epxect the pain but not fear it then you should be able to cope a bit better.

I didnt find labour that bad and I was on the drip thing which is allegedly pretty tough going. It really is a personal thing. I have had a tooth absess which was MUCH worse.

Anyways no point owrrying now, youre going to go through it so you may as well relax and go with it. Good luck!

I think these antenatal wards where people are in labour are absolutely barbaric

You don't know what was going on for that woman - she might have been suffering complications, or a painful procedure, or had a baby in a difficult position, or any number of things that probably won't apply to you. Or she might just have a very low pain threshold, or be a shrieker! None of this has any bearing on your own labour.

Write down 5 positive affirmations - like I can do this, my body is designed to give birth etc, and say them every day at least twice. You might feel a noggin for the first couple of times but it will help to put you in a more positive mind set

I screamed a lot, I also cried (later, in the car) when I went in sure I was in proper labour to find i was 2cm dilated.
Both labours were absolutely fine, after the intensity of the day I can say I loved doing it. Won't be doing oit again because I don't want a third but would do childbirth again.

When I looked round before having my first I heard a woman making what can only be described as 'chicken being beheaded' noises which scared me to bits. Having had three now I can testify that it's different every time and I would do it all again tomorrow if I could. Good luck, I'm actually rather jealous of the amazing experience you are about to have, you are about to become a member of the best club in the world!

Sounds to me like they lady you heard may have been having an internal to check dilation and she found it painful and/or really upsetting. Normal
contractions can be painful but don't usually cause sobbing for 5 mins because inbetween contractions the pain goes away. That's what makes labour different to other pain. Also agree that the noise women make in labour should not be taken as an indication of level of pain or distress, it can really help to make lots of noise for some. I think
not having to listen to other women in labour is a big advantage of home births.

yes, I had a sweep which was very uncomfortable and unpleasant (though I have been told I have a high, tilted cervix).

I heard a woman screaming in agony (I presumed) when on a tour of the labour ward of my hospital and was petrified of labour from that point on until I did a hypnobirthing course at 32-ish weeks.

If you are feeling worried, I would highly recommend that you do a bit of reading and relaxation practice in the next couple of weeks. The natal hypnotherapy CDs are also supposed to be great, I'm pg again and fancied a change so am bidding on some on e-bay. Also read something inspriring about childbirth; Sheila Kitzinger, Janet Balaskas, or the hypnobirthing book should have you feeling more confident in no time.

The fact is that I did have a long, painful labour because DS was back-to-back. However, I had a fantastic outcome (unassisted vaginal delivery with no perineal damage) mainly because I was confident that my body could do it and that I could cope. The breathing and relaxation were fantastic coping techniques, I enjoyed most of my labour even though it was a toughie. Am usually a wimp and v anxious btw, not your stoic type!

That lady you heard may have been shouting in distress as much as pain- she may have been frightened/ worried about her baby/ scared of what was to come- that doesn't mean you will feel the same way.

I really think that the way to avoid having a traumatic time is to be as well-informed as possible and to have some coping techniques up your sleeve. Even if you are sure you will have an epidural, it is worth investing some time in relaxation and breathing techniques to help you through the early stages of labour. And knowing as much as possible about how birth happens removes much of the fear of the unknown.

Do a bit of reading, look at some nice, happy births on you tube, learn some relaxation techniques and look forward to the arrival of your baby. And good luck

Both times I have been I thought I was the only person there it was so quiet! I don't think the more noise you hear/make is equal to your pain, some people are vocal and you shouldn't feel embarrassed as it's supposed to help First time I sort of hummed, but the 2nd time I mooed like anything! The first time I couldn't get over how not bad it was. I find an almost "expect the worst" attitude helps me. I don't think they will leave you in labour for more than 24 hours ish so you do have an end point. If I get an epidural this time, great - I slept through labour no.1 after the epidural and until that point I was pretty OK with the pain. I did have an episiotomy but wasn't too fussed because at the end of the day I couldn't feel it. 2nd time the epidural didn't work and I was a few mins away from a spinal tap when I needed to push. Sounds horrific, but I either would have got a spinal tap - great, no pain, or because DS2 came out so quickly it obviously meant it was all over quickly - great. Get every scenario sorted in your head so nothing is a great suprise. Remember women all over the world do this every day, all the time and not everyone just has one child I have resigned myself to the fact one day out of my life if going to be pretty shite and think beyond it. I have set myself up for the worst case scenario labour (obviously not toally worst case but there is no point even letting anything like that cross your mind) so if I go there and get my epidural, pop our a beautiful baby and get home in 6 hours I will be so so so happy Or worst case the epi doesn't work again, but I can get a spinal tap and if I cna't have that it'll be because it's too quick so it'll be all over anyway and won't have a lovely catherter I really really recommend getting a TENS machine - I didn't but was given one first time (I was induced in hospital) and it was a godsend. 2nd time I was doing the shopping in early labour with it strapped to me I didn't even get halfway to the max. setting before it came off for the epidurals, and G & A and the TENS would have been enough if I had known the 2nd epi wouldn't work (couldn't get the TENS b ack on). You may be pleasently suprised - I am awful awful awful with pain, cry before blood tests and everything and it sounds bad when I say "I was in labour for 24 hours" but the first 16-20 was like a bad period. You will be fine

Oh, and I had about 30 baths when I was in labour last time, it was so lovely being in water am getting a pool this time.

If a pool is on offer, I'd recommend giving it a go

I had a birthing pool. A metal one. And I banged on it very hard during contractions. Really helped me. But people kept dashing in to find out what the noise was. Could be heard all over the corridor (building?) apparently

I had to stay over night last week for monitoring, and was in a ward next to a delivery room. I could hear everything happening - some of it not too bad, some heart breaking and terrifying. One of the births was pretty quiet, but hearing the woman moaning she just couldn't push any more, while the midwife and her partner were semi-encouraging her & semi-bullying her was worse than the other birth with the blood curdling screams. I came out of the hospital way more traumatised than when I went in, and I'm now a lot more inclined towards an epidural than I had been, so I completely understand your view.

It's a week later now though, and I've been trying to convince myself that it'll be different when it's me.

I had a horrid, bullying midwife at one point Trillian but it didn't matter because lovely Dsis and DH were there too.

Most midwives are wonderful, a few are not. If you get one that makes you feel anything other than confident and safe, ask for another.

I had two good births ds was medically bad 24 hours immediate constant cc and birthed him still in the op position. I had very little pain relief and didn't find it that bad didn't scream. Painful yes but bearable and worth it.

However when I was in labor on dd I could hear a lady screaming and I started to panic what if I cant do this what if the pain is to much for me, then I said to myself don't be so silly you have done this and again I got through birth without feeling the need to scream. But even having been through labor and being someone who actually enjoyed the whole birth experience I still panicked when I heard other women screaming in labors.

Try to put it from your mind hard I know but you cannot judge your labor on someone else birth you may have a orgasmic birth you never know.

I'd second what other posters have said about hypnobirthing. It really helps if you're scared of labour. By learning some coping strategies and relaxation techniques, you'll feel much calmer and be less likely to scream like a banshee!

Spending half an hour every day listening to a CD of affirmations such as "I trust my body", "My baby and my body know what to do" and "I am strong and confident that I will have a positive birth" may sound like a load of new-age hippy nonsense but it worked miracles when I had DS2. I was positively looking forward to labour! Give it a try!

Thanks all for your comments, I do feel better about the whole thing now, i have my Tens machine now and am restarted doing my pregnancy yoga dvd. I was offered an induction this week too so i think that will mentally help me prepare (rather than the unknown as to WHEN it will actually kick off)....

Is it not too late to start the hypnobirthing, i thought this had to be started early on in pregnancy?

My hypnobirthing lady likes to start it at about 32-34 weeks - so you are a bit late but since the first session was the most helpful in reducing the fear ime, it will probably still benefit you. Worth a go, if you ask me - I felt heaps better after the first session.

They don't like to start it too early - I had my 4 sessions and then had to go for a 5th 'top-up' session when it became clear I was going to need to be induced (because it added in a new fear dimension that I hadn't had before!).

Best of luck with it all!