What I heard at the hospital today....

[virgo1979]

nothing major happened, was called to the hospital for some blood tests today, my LFTs have been high and had some bile in blood and docs cant seem to agree what is causing it, but thats not the point. i was in a 4bed antenatal bay, i was on the bed on a monitor and DH was sitting in chair next to me, being usual self, curtains around us were drawn, when the woman across us diagonally let out the most blood curdling cry and sobbed for about 5 minutes. we could only hear her, not see her. dont know if she had an internal exam or had her waters broken or something (she was on gas and air after when she she made equally horrid noises) or what it was that actually made her cry but she had two midwifes in with her, and the midwife then said she was 3-4 cm, and about ten minutes later she was taken down to labour ward.

anyway, i have been trying to be quite positive about the labour aspect, am 38+1 with first DC. i know it will hurt, and am expecting to make some strange noises and swear at DH etc and probably make a fool of myself, but i cannot get those screams (more like blood curdling shrieks) out of my head.... i wanted to cry and cry and cry. even DHs face dropped. i know its one person and every one is different but STILL......

just had to get that off my chest. I wanted to tell you all that i am now officially terrified of going into labour....

Virgo, when I got into the antenatal assessment ward when having DS I screamed like a banshee.

I got in there in full flow, all sweating and wearing my pants and DH's dressing gown, and there was a woman who looked 'a bit hot' wearing high heels and a bodywarmer.

She looked terrified of me. I remember trying to apologise to her in between contractions "it's not actually that bad, the screaming seems to help".

And, I recall distinctly that as my DS was crowning (and he was 9lb7oz!) thinking 'this is not that bad.... I could do this again'. I wasn't on drugs either.

I know it's like me saying, 'get ready, I'm about to cut your leg off with this blunt breadknife' but really, your body is magic and you just can.

lol at nagoo

It's not too late to do the hypnobirthing, lots of practitioners offer the course in 2 days for those who come to it at the end of their pregnancy.

The course is brill but if you don't fancy it, you can get the book & CD off Amazon. Or you could go for the natal hypnotherapy CDs, whatever you decide just listen to them lots between now and the big day!

TBH, doing anything like this will help, even if you only do it for a few days.

oh births can be so different. with ds I was induced and did some sort of hypnobirthing by mistake. I realised that when I relax completely the contractions did not hurt as bad. was very quiet for this birth.
with dd ist was more intense (spontaneous) and I was very vocal but it was more bearable, because the contractions were not as close together.

I didnt scream at all but I had ds[dc1]in Africa where dh was working and I was in a room off a ward and the shrieks and screams were so scary.The midwife said some women felt it was expected of them but everyone's reaction to pain is different.I didnt have much real pain with either of mine nor did my mum or my dd.Dont worry-accept pain relief as needed and do some breathing exercises which is what worked for me 40 yrs ago!

First and most importantly I would like to second all the positive messages on here. You will be amazed at what you can do and although what you heard was frightening, it may have been worse for you to hear than for the woman to experience.

I would just like to comment on something said earlier by a poster. It is usually true that in labour, particularly early labour, there is a gap between contractions and you get a break from the pain. However, for some people, contractions are continuous from the word go and so you don't get a break. Don't think this is a problem - it means you get a much quicker labour which is probably much easier. But I myself ended up in a totally terrified and panicked state because I wasn't getting this much-lauded gap between contractions that I was promised. I would hate for anyone else to be as ill-informed and therefore as frantic as I was, so don't worry if you don't get a gap - it just means it will all be over soon!

I did scream with dd2 but that was because my waters were bulging, dd2 was crowning behind them and the mw was telling me not to push as there was no way I was ready. The pain/strain of NOT doing what my body wanted to do was horrible and I screamed louder than I ever have. DH went pale.
Seconds later (after being told by her to stop being so silly) I pushed, and DD2 was born a few minutes later.
I had no other real pain.

My mother has had 5 children and is incredibly scornful of tv shows where women are screaming, and she had a breech birth as well.

I'm told (by DH) that I was a bit noisy for a few minutes. But after DS was born, and we were cocooned in the cozy aftermath cooing over him, we heard, from the delivery room next door, a couple of indrawn breaths and a polite "ouch." That was it, and her baby was born not long after (according to my midwife).
You simply cannot tell how it will be for you. For what it's worth, however, I would say I have a low pain threshold and don't "do" pain, but it really wasn't that bad. Either of them. Which is the clue, really, isn't it? That so many of us go back for another one?

Although, I ought to say that I couldn't be doing with that blasted Tens machine. An irritating buzzing sensation that didn't help at all. I threw it across the room at DH at one point.

i got told off for screaming - only dh explainmed to the doctor it was the woamn inthe next room who screamed and screamed - I met her years later and her ds was at school with my dd.

It isn't really that bad and anyway you get a baby at the end it isn't like tooth ache

I did hypnobirthing and can honestly say I didn't find labour to be agony at all. I didn't have a natural delivery (had emergency c-section with general anaesthetic, which am a bit about) but I was 9cm dilated on admission to hospital and fully dilated within minutes after that. The pregnancy yoga is great too, I went to a local class for pregnancy yoga and it was brilliant for relaxation etc. The other girls in my class have all had positive birth experiences so far (some are still pregnant!)

Honestly, having laboured to full dilation I would say toothache is far worse in terms of pain than contractions but everyone is different. If you can relax and not panic I think that makes a big difference. I kept waiting for the feelings of labour (not sure I would describe it as pain, to be honest - more a very intense sensation that made me need to pace and moo) to become so unbearable that I couldn't cope and that didn't ever happen. I had a bit of gas & air on admission to hospital (so from 9cm to full dilation) and it was very effective I thought. At 9cm I was having a fairly compos conversation with the midwife about wanting the birth pool (ha! Fat chance!)