positive birth stories please, first timer..is it all screams and agony?

[Bumpybelly]

Hi

I would just like some positive birth stories. Want to know that birth doesn't have to be and isn't always how the TV shows us it to be. That it's not all screams and unbearable pain and agony and that i can do it.

Oh mine was fantastic fun. One of the many reasons I want a second child is because I want to get to go through labour again. It was brilliant.

Low intervention hospital. Waters broke at 38w2d. Monitored without admission. Contractions on and off till they got painful at 38w5d and I admitted myself the next morning, Sunday, 38w6d.

But here's the thing. In the early hours of the Monday morning, I'd been labouring on and off for three days, my husband was asleep on a mattress on the floor and i didn't want to wake him so was labouring silently, and it was intense and hard and my legs were shaking with fatigue but I couldn't bear to shift into any position except standing.

And I had to take it minute by minute, there was no way through it but to go through it.

And then, it just suddenly changed (this was transition) into this intense powerful wonderful thing, contractions like spiralling waves of power and they were exhilarating not painful. Like walking in a fierce storm when you feel compelled to laugh because of the power of the weather around you and through you.

And then pushing, finally, and that was just basic physical labour, not painful, quite satisfying. And then meeting my daughter, and that was indescribable.

Well, I couldn't say it was the most enjoyable few hours of my life, and it certainly hurt, but it wasn't screaming agony, and there wasn't a time when I thought I couldn't cope or wanted more than gas and air.

And mine wasn't a fluffy waterbirth/active labour kind of thing - DS was born at 35 weeks, so I had continuous monitoring and had to stay on the bed.

TBH, the worst bit was delivering the placenta as it hurt just as much, but I didn't have my baby with me - he'd gone to SCBU - so that isn't typical

My theory is that unlike any other pain, as soon as the baby and placenta are out, that's it, pain gone, and that makes it much more manageable

What struck me about childbirth was that the moments between contractions you felt as normal.

my first birth went v. well, no screams, no agony - it was painful but not to the point where it was unbearable and between contx fine...out she popped.

i had 2nd degree tear but didn't feel it. and i felt super-high afterwards, wanted to Do It All Again!

Hi Bumpy. Yes you can do it. I think birth can be a bit of a lottery, some are lucky others have a bit more of a complicated time.

I can't watch tv births as they are usually lying on their backs. I had to lean forward on all fours, although I appreciate some have to be in bed for monitoring or post-epidural etc. Breathing and being active helped, a lovely midwife in a MLU helped (it was all dim lighting and quiet voices), labouring quickly (so I wasn't too tired) helped and I had a waterbirth with DD. At the time I was shocked by how much it did hurt, I did moo(!), but it was great, I didn't think I could do it but I did, in the end only with gas and air, a tens machine and then the pool. It was 21 hours from start to finish, but established labour was only 6 hours.

My second birth was great - 3 hours start to finish, only a tens machine. Official 1.5 hour labour!

I would say that the best advice I got about labour and birth was that it was very important that the woman labouring is as relaxed and happy as possible. If this means an epidural after you've been labouring for hours and hours, that's fine. If it's mooing and a birthing pool, that's fine too. Personally I just went for a less-to-more approach to pain relief, where nothing was ruled out. It's not a competition, it's a farkin miracle and hopefully at the end when you hold your baby and feel their soft heads brush against your chin, that's what you appreciate.

I apologise in advance, this is long, but remembering the birth of DD1 makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

My waters broke Saturday evening, I went in to be checked, told to get back early Monday morning if nothing had happened.

Went back Monday morning, admitted onto antenatal ward until a bed was ready on the labour ward. I was having mild contractions and spent the day very bored, waiting for a bed.

About six a bed was finally ready, taken through to labour ward, monitors on and a drip put in to help get things going.

Tried gas and air, it made me feel dizzy, so asked for pethedine. Despite anti emetic, I keep being sick, DD's heartrate was erratic so drip removed. I dozed through the contractions until the pethedine wore off and then had some more. (lovely drug)

During an internal, it transpired my waters had broken at the top, not bottom, so out came the giant crochet hook, waters broken properly, midwife disappears.

Next thing I know I need to push, not pushing is not an option, DH buzzes for midwife who says don't be silly, you won't be ready yet, but I'll check just to prove how wrong you are. Checks, says hold on a second, grabs all the kit and says push.

DD1 arrives in the world, cord around her neck, doped up on pethedine. Fails her Apgar test, taken to the resucitator, 5 minutes later all ok.

I have never felt so proud of myself before or after. Some time later, after photos, food (breast for DD, toast for me) and a bath, I pushed her in the cot round to the post natal ward. The best night of my life.

Well, I am going to tell you it was sore for me, really sore, because it's not fair to lie. DD was 10lb 11 and I had no pain releief at all, as I just couldn't focus with g&a. ds was 9lb and came flying out, though I found transition and active labour painful.

BUT it was fab, both times, and though I don't want any more children, I'd never be scared to give birth. The way your body just does its thing is extraordinary, and holding that tiny new naked thing is an amazing, unbelievable, wonderful feeling, and worth everything a thousand times over.

you will get through it......yes it is painful, but you know you get a beautiful baby at the end of it.
Thinking about it is the most torture! Actually doing it is not as scary as envisioned.
My 1st labour was fine.....long but uneventful. I thought it would be worse than it was. Wierdly never felt DS descend, so never felt that 'urge' to push.
My 2nd labour was much quicker and almost enjoyable as I recognised each stage and knew a lot more about what was going on. Felt the 'urge' this time and DD was out in 2 minutes!
As for shouting/screaming.....I didn't.....but each to their own on how they cope with pain and how they distract themself during a strong contraction.
Every experience is different.
Easy for me to say now, but try not to worry. It is an amazing experience!

I loved giving birth . DS 24hours back to back birth in hospital. Waters went first so had to stay in hospital I never felt the need to scream, although it was painful there was such a range of emotions that it was one of the two best days of my life. Pushing stage didn't hurt except for crowning pushing stage was only 30 minutes.

DD 12hours normal birth hospital. I arrived at the hospital about 1hour and a half before dd was born (before that was happy reading to ds). I got there the pain was at the point where I was groaning but again the range of emotions were incredible. 2minutes pushing with dd even crowning a lot easier this was the other best day of my life.

Both times after birth I felt amazing and so happy and at peace and proud of myself and dc. I tried to remember that births cant be that bad as most people have more than one dc.

Well I found that it did really hurt but I did it and you can do it too. It's an odd sort of pain - all consuming and vicious but productive as well. Every contraction brings you closer to your baby and I like what tortoise said 'there was no way through it but to go through it.' It's your body doing it's most basic function and you just have to trust yourself. I do remember thinking that I was going to explode or die or just be stuck as I was forever at one point in all my labours - that was about two minutes before the actual births. From everything I've seen and heard that's pretty typical - when you get to feel like you can't bear it and you can't do it - that's generally because you are doing it right there and then.
Keep active, keep upright and let your body do it's thing - there is nothing to be afraid of.

You will do it. You might even enjoy it.

My best advice is to go into it positive, calm, with an idea of how you'd like things to be.

At the same time accept that it is a lottery and whatever happens to you is luck. If it doesn't go exactly as you plan (rarely does because you just don't know till it's happening how you'll be or what will happen), then accept the labour you are given. You do not fail or succeed at this.

And the baby you get at the end of it? Well, you just wait. It's indescribable.

I have my birth story for DS typed up and ready to cut and paste but its a bit long and everyone I know who has read it um laughs. To post or not to post?

Oh go on, we like a laugh

It certainly isn't. I had two very different births, and they were among the most pleasurable things I've ever done.

One was 20 hours, one was 3. Neither was really painful (I've done exercise sessions more painful than that). The only pain relief I had (or needed) was the birth pool. And the high afterwards is unmatched by anything else....

Hello! I'm 9 weeks plus 6 days PG with the DC1 and just wanted to say THANK YOU so much for this thread. I'm v nervous about the birth to the point where I don't think the worry is constructive! I am very moved by the stories in these posts and will look back at this thread again when I have a wobble. Thank you again.

My first - at 38.5 weeks, I saw a different mw to the usual, and she said she thought the baby was breech. I said, he can't be, he hasn't moved for about 3 months. But I was due to have a homebirth so I went in for a scan, just in case. And lo, baby was feet first, rather small, and I didn't have enough fluid. I stayed in overnight and had a very straightforward planned cs the next morning.

Now I know that wasn't the positive birth story you had in mind, but my point is that I'm so glad I hadn't wasted energy on worrying about labour for 9 months.

And looking back, 'twas a very nice birth, really.

Ok Catherder- Just for you

My birth was nothing like I expected, being a good first time Mum I read the books and the forums and packed what now seems like a ridiculous amount of "birth" stuff ie lavender for the wrists, spritzer to keep me cool, little fan, cds, small snacks, books, the list goes on.
my birthplan was neatly typed:
No pain relief apart from Gas and Air
Female attendants only if possible
No students

Yeah right!
July 1st 06, 5.40am I got up, went to the loo and my waters broke with a bang! I was instantly on the floor with a massive contraction. Obviously something was wrong, it must have been... I was a week early- that couldn't be right? And besides, my contractions were in my back? I crawled to the phone- they asked me to come in as my contractions were exactly nothing apart- just constant. Picture me, curly hair everywhere flying wildly dragging huge labour bag to the door whilst screaming "owww owww owww MOVE IT" to the poor husband! I rang Mum from the car (on all fours!) to tell her it was burning and to hurry and get to the hospital!

We got to the hospital (thank goodness for clear roads) and no joke I was running down the corridor dragging bag one of useless rubbish, hubby to the rear with another bag with baby stuff. We walked (hop, skip, jumped) into the labour room for a preliminary exam, I whipped my trousers and pants off and leant over the bed.
Midwife: Um what are you doing Dear?"
Me: I'm PUSHING!
Midwife, Oh bless (pats my hand- which she was lucky stayed intact), I take it this is your first? You said on the phone baby wasn't engaged yesterday- shall we have a look?
Me: GRUNT
Midwife: OH! Ok, I can see the head- um can we get another midwife in and get Mrs C settled?
Me: EPIDURALLLLL
Midwife: Sorry sweetheart- no chance - would you like some gas and air?
Me: NOW!

You can see how labour turned a usually shy and retiring girl into a raving lunatic in a pretty short space of time!

The labour went on pretty quick after that. Mum got there fairly quick, they took the Gas and Air off me "Mrs C, you are pushing with your throat dear". Have to disagree with that one, my throat didnt hurt at all lol! The team were actually fantastic and despite the fact the midwife who started off with me had finished her shift during the first half an hour, she stayed with me, with the other midwife. An hour in someone found my birth plan (like I cared lol!) which said no students- one student was present throughout and she was absolutely fabulous. On reading the birth plan, I was asked if I wanted her to leave, poor girl nearly lost her arm when I grabbed it and said "Noooo shes loooovely!".

The only time I really snapped was when my midwife said "One more pushhhh", I pushed, "Thats it, one more push" I pushed, "One more push hun". "ONE PLUS ONE PLUS ONE IS THREE, NOT ONE!!!". Bad me!

At 8.05am DS was born, 7lb 13oz. And for any first timers- the pain does just stop. I consider this a very positive birth story. I tore very badly and had to be stiched (by a MAN < seriously, you just don't care!), and was a little disturbed when they gave me the gas and air BACK for stitches having taken it off me for labour but it actually wasn't that bad at all.

That first cuddle was amazing, and I was SO tired but didnt care! Mum cut DS's cord as we'd planned and my fantastic husband did exactly what I need him to do, stood nearby, made slightly encouraging noises, and allowed me to glare at him with murder in my eyes every so often!
My one worry was that my placenta didn't want to come out despite the injection and they were considering rolling me through to theatre. There was NO way they were putting me out etc after a natural birth lol, so they gave me a bed pan, catheterised me (just in and out to get rid of any wee build up!), i jumped up and down on the bed pan and placenta (intact), shot out! Don't mess with me, I'm a Mum now don't you know! The student and the midwife after I was stitched popped me into the ensuite and helped shower me down (they were angels, and a shower on the hottest day of the year was magical!).

So that is it, my much quicker than expected, but fairly amusing birth story (well it tickles me!) Although it was very quick I can't imagine it any other way and definitely consider it positive. I do hope no2 is similar!!

Definitely not all screams and agony - apparently there can be quite a lot of mooing too (or so my dh assures me!).

I had one long birth and have had 2 much easier much shorter births, both water births.

It sounds really tree-huggy but the thing that helped me was realising you have to let go a bit with your mind and almost allow your body to just get on with it. All the things that sound a bit whacky do really help - low lighting, gentle speaking, water. Read up on water birth stories (even if not your in your birth plan) and you will find a lot of positive birth stories.

I really genuinely enjoyed both times. It hurt but it wasn't unbearable, a kind of positive, constructive pain with shedloads of endorphins too. G&A took the edge off it and the rush you get when you finally meet the baby is unbelievable.

TBH I am sad that I will probably never go through it again (not so sad that I would repeat first few months of actually looking after the baby though....that's a whole different thread!)

You may well be pleasantly surprised - good luck.

Hello bumpybelly
A very wise MNer (marslady) once told me
Each contraction you have is one you never have to have again and brings you closer to your baby.

Good luck

My sister's DS was born in three pushes, no stitches, first baby. Fabulous

My two...well they are not the birth stories you are looking for but they are still great.

I've had two straightforward births, they did hurt and I think I screamed but they were very positive - I'd certainly do it again but I don't want a third child i was looking back over my MN labour threads and my birth announcements the other day and getting all nostalgic.

Cracking story, NickiSue

Thank you Catherder - one aims to please

I made the mistake of sending that exact birth story in a bluey to my female cousin in Iraq shortly after DS was born. Needless to say her whole battalion found it hysterical