positive birth stories please, first timer..is it all screams and agony?

[Bumpybelly]

Hi

I would just like some positive birth stories. Want to know that birth doesn't have to be and isn't always how the TV shows us it to be. That it's not all screams and unbearable pain and agony and that i can do it.

I've had one baby and the birth was a very positive experience. If you'd asked me how it was on the day afterwards I'd have been only slightly less enthusiastic about it. On the other hand I think I swore at DH when he mentioned us having another baby as my tear was being stitiched (I kid you not).

I had a waterbirth, 13 hours in total. First 4 hours at home, next 5 hours in hospital corridor (busy night) then into the pool. I didn't use any drugs. I tried one puff of gas and air and decided it was a distraction from breathing through my contractions but that's probably just me as everyone else raves about it! My midwives were brilliant, like many first timers my birthplan was the last thing on my mind on the day(nothing in there about kneeling on a pillow in a corridor thoroughfare, for example . However the birthplan really helped DH - trying to find me a delivery room gave him something to do for 5 hours!

TBH I think the reason it went so well was that I remained calm on the day. Not sure how far along you are but if you have time to prepare then I would highly recommend doing something like yoga during your pregnancy to help with the breathing practice and lower body strength. Also natal hypnotherapy CDs helped me stay calm both in the lead up to the big day and on the day too, and reminded me that birth is a natural process that my body could and would cope with. www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk

The most important thing to do is stay calm! If you panic the pain can spiral out of control. Contractions hurt like hell but you know what they are, you know they will stop and you'll have a lovely baby at the end! Yes, it hurts but it comes in waves and in between contractions you will feel almost normal! I did scream a lot but it wasn't just the pain - the scream kind of helped my mind to concentrate on the task in hand and push as hard as I could - think of a tennis player grunting - they're not in pain after all! I didn't have an easy birth at all - 36 hours, back to back baby, just gas and air, an eventual ventouse delivery and a 2nd degree tear - But it honestly wasn't that bad and I would gladly do it again to have another baba!

ds was awful. mostly because i had an epidural and that lead to a lot of intervention.

Dd was the most amazing thing i have ever done. I had no pain releif at all.
It wasn't the most pleasant experience to begin with but the feeling of my body pushing baby out was just amazing. Knowing that my body could work like that, completly independant of me telling it what to do.

feeling nature in it's rawest form, working.

it makes me go all hippy. and i am far from a hippy.

Yes it is painfull. There is pain releif if you feel you want/need it. but yes, you can do it.

NickiSue that was one of the most entertaining birth stories I have read thankyou for sharing it!

For OP - my slightly dramatic but ok-in-the-end story:

My contractions started at about 6:30am and were fine, manageable, quite exciting really as I was 5 days overdue and baby was finally on his way.

I had a TENS machine which worked well for me (mainly as a distraction, though I liked the fuzzy prickly feeling) and the contractions stayed manageable until about midnight, when all of a sudden BOOM! they came thick and fast.

Went to hospital, managed with just gas & air until about 6am when I had half a shot of pethidine as I was knackered and MW thought it would help me snooze between contractions. Pushed for 2 hours (don't remember much though), DS came out but shoulders got stuck, lots of people in the room, 2 MWs got him out after a couple of minutes but he had to be resuscitated. Luckily all fine, I passed him to DH and was sick, then went to sleep for 2 hours while my MW looked after him! (DS, not DH)

I am now 21 weeks pg with DC2 and actually looking forward to doing it again - not the pain/hard work etc. but the thought of having a lovely warm squishy baby at the end of it

Thank you so much for all your stories. NickiSue your story was hilarious! Its the first birthing story i have giggled out loud to.

I am honestly dreading giving birth, but need to get it around my head that our bodies are equipped to deal with this. Thank you all for some wonderful stories. I will take it all in my stride and not be embarrased to openly moo...am sure i will be back to for some final words of encouragement closer to the time

If you're really scared you might want to consider something like hypnobirthing, it could help change your mindset?

Mine were both easy.

With both the pain was around my bum.

With first, I had been uncomfortable all night.

Next morning I had a terrible pain that bent me double & made me feel sick.

Possible tmi here-I got a mirror & could see the head!

Fortunately the midwife got to me in about 10 mins & I had a lovely birth at home-no stitches or tears.
The birth was an hour after my pain.

Only downside-husband missed it.

With 2nd,waters went at 10am, got to hospital about 1 & was examined-was apparently having contractions although couldn´t feel anything.

At about 5 went to toilet & there was someblood.
MW examined me-I was 8cms.
Had G&A-baby born a couple of hours later.

No stitches or tears again.

Hope all goes well,OP.

I think a lot of people find it painful, but it doesn't usually involve the screaming and hysteria they show on TV . And, don't forget, they do have things to help with the pain, you don't have to go through it with no pain relief. I think a lot of women put themselves under pressure by wanting to do it as naturally as possible and deciding beforehand that they don't want an epi, for example. Whilst it would be lovely if we could all give birth with no more than a couple of paracetamol, I would suggest keeping an open mind and seeing what happens and how you feel at the time. At the end of the day, you don't get a medal for giving birth with no pain relief.

What I'm really trying to say, in a very long-winded way is, whatever happens for you, the medical team can help you deal with it, so don't be afraid

NickiSue - what a great story. Had me laughing out loud!

I had an average time giving birth to DS1 - bit of gas and air, some pethidine and a few stitches. But I was very scared and I think it hurt more because of that.

Second time round was totally different. DS2 was born using hypnobirthing in a pool at home. Yes it hurt when he came out (I tore) but within 3 hours I was up and dressed and drinking tea outside with all my neighbours!

Even though you feel like you'll never manage it, of course you do. My hypnobirthing teacher helpfully reminded me that women in comas have babies - it requires no mental input at all. Your body will just do its thing and you have to go along for the ride!

And it's always a bit fuzzy after, a bit like trying to remember a very drunken night out. You know what happened and can remember most of it but it's a bit like you dreamed it. Does that make sense?

I'd echo what ib suggested re. hypnobirthing. Amazing if you want to stay in control!

Waters broke at 8am in the morning, and what felt like period pain for hours until went to hospital at 3pm where they told me I was dilating! Got monitored for a wile, came home at 7pm and sat in the bath (genius move) and then went back into hospital at 9.30pm only to be told I could push if I wanted. Ok then....pushed for 3 hrs with no drugs of any kind, and then had to have em c-sec as baby stuck.
But honestly, I faint at injections and have zero pain threshold (I fainted when I had my ears pierced fgs!). I was petrified about it all beforehand. I cannot tell you how amazing it is that your body just takes over - it knows what to do. I just channelled my breathing and energy into pushing rather than screaming, and really, it wasn't that bad, although I can't comment on a natural birth. C sec not bad either - lots of bed rest in hospital, and hardly had any pain relief for it afterwards - they were trying to give me painkillers every 4 hrs and I just didn't need them, just the odd aspirin.
You can do it! I used to look at 16yr olds pushing buggies and think - if they can, I can!!

It was painful, but amazing, I'm really looking forward to doing it again.
It was very odd at times - the calm between contractions is wierd, and near the end when dd's head came out, then I had to wait for the next contraction to push again I just remember being very aware that I had someone's head between my legs and it was VERY surreal! the moment probably only lasted a few seconds but seemed like ages.

you uterine muscle is unlike other muscles - it doesn't tense and then relax back to where it was again, it tenses, then when the contraction's over it stays there, so every contraction is getting you closer to your baby