Would you let your children watch you give birth?

[Simbaline]

Am in two minds! Have a five and a half year old daughter and am due in september. Would love to have a home birth this time - wanted one with my first but just didn't happen. Am keen for dd to be as involved as she is comfortable with but obviously don't want to distress her.

My plan is to have my mum come down when I go into labour to be there to look after her so she can be as involved or not as she likes and obviously care for her if I do need to go into hospital.

I think I got so caught up in planning a lovely, calm, peaceful home birth with no screaming etc but just thought what if I do end up making lots of noise and it really upsets her?

What do you all think?

My 12 year old son was there to welcome his little brother into the world a few months ago when I gave birth at home. The choice was entirely his. Lovely memories.

I Have good births and I don't scream. With dd I was looking after my ds3 for the irregular cc after about 8 hours when the cc were every 5 mins I called my mum to come in case I needed hospital soon and warned dp. I still stayed with him in the room for about 6hours. The cc were 3 mins apart and it was his bedtime so I decided to put him to bed and then go up the hospital.

I got to the hospital no breaks in cc dd born 1hr 30 mins later. I didn't scream ds didn't even know what was happening but to be honest I was glad to be able to strip off and not worry about him for the last stage. I wouldn't want him at the actual birth.

Have you had a look at this?
www.homebirth.org.uk/siblings.htm
Some interesting perspectives and stories.

No its too traumatic for a child to witness. Its traumatic enough for birthing partners and they are adults.

IMO its a private matter

no way

no don't think I would- obv unless it all started happening when it wasn't expected to..

My sister was 12 when I was born and was brought in after the birth and can still remember the 'bucket of blood and guts ~(placenta ) and blood stained doctor's boots'

Though she did have 3dcs of her own, was there when I gave birth to dd2 and is scheduled to be with me and dh when dc3 arrives so she's not too traumatised!

Think it's a time when you need to be able to 100% concentrate on your own needs and those of the baby.

I don't see anything wrong with having your daughter with you at home, especially if you have an extra pain of hands to take care of her.

My DS1 was almost 4 last summer when I had his brother at home. I had a hypno water birth and managed to stay fairly calm.

He woke up and came down for breakfast at 8am. The midwife suggested we let him come and go as he wished, so he wandered in and out of the room and at one point brought me some biscuits to make me feel better! I made a point of telling him I was OK and that it was really exciting that his brother was coming. I had a friend on hand to help out and I left it to her sensible judgement as to whether he was happy being there or not, so I could concentrate on my part!

DS2 was born at 9am. My friend called DS1 in and gave him a big hug. There were big smiles and crying from the adults but DS1 just looked curious. After he'd been introduced to his brother he went back to Milkshake on TV!

He was really excited after though, telling everyone how his brother had been born in the water. He told me he was a bit scared but very happy too.

Was lovely having the whole family there. I'd definately recommend it.