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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Silliest resons why you can't have a home or water birth

47 replies

mamamaisie · 31/03/2010 12:51

I thought it would be interesting to get a thread going on the silliest reasons you have been given for not being allowed a home or water birth.

I'm 37 weeks and booked in for a home birth. I told my midwife last week that I want to have a water birth. The pool is already ordered and waiting downstairs. She gave me a really disapproving look and said it would depend on the midwife on duty that day as some of them won't consent to doing water births. I was expecting the reason to be that some midwives are not trained for water births but no ... her words were "some of them won't bend over and you can't do a water birth without bending over"!!!!

Could this be the real reason that midwives like women to labour on their backs on a raised hospital bed?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Tangle · 31/03/2010 13:13

I was told I shouldn't book a HB as "they might be short staffed and I might have to go in anyway". GP agreed it wasn't a very good reason after a couple of minutes...

JollyPirate · 31/03/2010 13:15

You laboured really fast last time. Honestly heard that as a midwife. My thought was always "erm - wouldn't it then be better to plan a homebirth so that everything is there if it happens really fast again".

And mamamaisie - that is a dreadful message from your midwife.

zazen · 31/03/2010 13:30

In Holland most births are at home. They have very strict regualtions about the height of the bed and the things you absolutely must have in your house - warming pans the lot.

I think you need to think about why you are scoffing someone who is going to be a help to you in your hours of need.

Not everyone can do a back flip special and bend over backwards.

I hope you have comfy blankets and cushions for the floor so your midwives don't injure their knees if they have to spend hours kneeling beside your birthing pool.

Midwives are trained to lift patients just like any healthcare worker. You can really screw up your career if you strain your back.

I think you need a little rething about your motivations for this thread.

I wish you the very best of luck in your homebirth, but ask you to remember that your midwife is there to help you, not to contort to your expectations. You are part of the birthing team, so play nice.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 31/03/2010 13:49

I can't have a homebirth because my DP is too worried about the mess

Grandhighpoohba · 31/03/2010 13:50

"you are part of the birthing team, so play nice"

No I'm not, I'm the only person in the room giving birth. Its happening to my body, and how it progresses may effect my body and mind for the rest of my life. To everyone else, its a paid day at the office, that they will forget. So, no, I won't "play nice." Sounds remarkably like shut up and do as you are told, theres a good little woman.

If widwifery is a physical job, then its not too much to ask that the midwife is physically fit enough to do it.

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 31/03/2010 13:50

Psh, part of the birthing "team"?? midwives are birth assistants. They're there to assist the birth, it's the mother doing most of the work. If they aren't able to bend over the pool now and then to monitor/catch the baby (hardly a "contortion"!) then maybe they shouldn't be midwives. Why should a woman's birth choices be restricted by what's comfortable for the midwife?

Can you imagine if a surgeon said "yeah I know I should do a full heart bypass operation on this guy but I've got a really achy arm today, it'd be rough on me to do a 5 hour operation so I'll just patch him up for now instead"

Original poster

mamamaisie · 31/03/2010 14:26

zazen I understand what you are saying about midwives straining their backs but surely bending over is part of the job? I work as a software developer and have to look at a computer screen for 8 hours a day which gives me headaches and probably poor eyesight. I have to accept this as otherwise I would be out of a job.

Based on what you are saying it would be impossible for me to have any type of home or active birth. My bed is quite low down and giving birth on that would certainly cause the midwife to bend over. The same goes if I was on the floor leaning over a birthing ball or squatting on a birthing stool.

I had a 'flat on my back' birth in a hospital last time around and don't want to ever repeat that experience again.

Also I would like to have minimum intervention and am quite happy for the midwife to sit on a chair eating the choccy biscuits I have bought just for her. I don't expect her to lean over the pool for the entire duration of my labour. A quick check every now and then is really all I want. If things go wrong and I need more intensive monitoring I would probably be rushed to the hospital anyway.

OP posts:

girlynut · 31/03/2010 16:37

I spent six hours in my birthing pool at home when I had DS2 and my best friend did tell me the next day that her back was killing her. But that was because she'd spent several hours leaning over rubbing my back constantly. When she stopped, I yelled at her to keep going!

I hardly think the midwife will be bent over you for that period of time. My midwife sat on a chair next to the pool, verbally encouraged me and checked the baby's heartrate every so often.

It the midwifery dept's job to sort out their resources, not yours. They will have these issues every day but you only get to birth this baby the once so I would stand your ground. It's not necessary to be confrontational but I would certainly practice the "send me a midwife now" chant. When my best friend was told we had to come in to the hospital because there were no staff available, she calmly told them we wouldn't and that we'd do it ourselves if they didn't send someone. Sure enough the midwife turned up within the hour. (DH wouldn't have been so assertive so it helps to have somebody who is quite forceful to advocate for you)

caprica6 · 31/03/2010 19:00

I can't have a homebirth as DH says our house is too small

Bexybear · 31/03/2010 19:54

When my midwives came to do my home visit for my fist pg they told me i wouldnt be able to have a homebirth because our carpets were the wrong colour

I think they were joking but it was quite hard to tell after the waves of negativity that greeted my initial request

bumpybecky · 31/03/2010 20:07

I had issues with lack of midwives trained in waterbirth for my third and fourth births. I was warned beforehand and I hoped for the best. For #4 I even got to the point of having a stroppy letter from the Supervisor of Midwives which arrived about 3 days before my due date, just before Christmas (so no time to act upon it basically).

In labour with #3 the first MW who came out spent about 20 mins calling all the other MWs on duty trying to find someone who could help. She did try and talk me round, but I was quite firm. In the end the waterbirth expert MW who was between shifts and came anyway, with a takeaway and a her student who'd not seen a birth in real life before. All worked out fine and dd3 was born in water as planned

For #4 the midwives weren't trained in waterbirth. They came, decided things weren't happening told us to go to bed and then left. We went to bed, stayed there half an hour, things kicked off so we then called them back. They took an hour to get to us and ds beat them by less than 5 minutes. They told me afterwards that they would have asked me to get out of the water to deliver and said we had more waterbirth experience than they did (dd2, dd3 and ds!).

As far as I was concerned I told them at booking that I wanted a home waterbirth and they had had long enough to sort out any training or staffing issues.

Arcadie · 31/03/2010 20:08

Dh would rather I don't have a water birth at home as he's not sure that a birthing pool wouldn't wreck the floorboards... Is he right?
40+5 today so a hosp induction looks the most likely course of events for me anyway

LittleSilver · 31/03/2010 20:17

Zazen HCPs are NOT trained to lift patients, not nowadays. Support and assist move yes, lifting def no.

bumpybecky · 31/03/2010 20:17

first two birth pools had absolutely no effect on our (1890s Victorian) floorboards

second two birth pools were on concrete floor (different house!)

I went 40+11, 40+8, 40+3 and 40+9 with my 4 and never had an induction, so don't rule out starting naturally Arcadie

PrettyCandles · 31/03/2010 20:21

"You're going to have a big baby."

Erm, yes, so? Babies nos 1 and 2 were also large, and I birthed them with no problems.

Maveta · 31/03/2010 20:34

where we live in costs minimum 2000 euros. I think its a silly reason not to have one (i.e. they should be free)

PootleTheFlump · 31/03/2010 21:53

I had a home water birth at 40+9 Arcadie - there's hope yet!

thisisyesterday · 31/03/2010 22:01

maybe zazen has a point though, am presuming she is in Holland?

most of their births are homebirths, which is a good thing, so they must be doing something right over there"!!

foxytocin · 01/04/2010 01:09

my first midwife tried every shroud waving excuse to put me off a homebirth.

When i gave a perfectly reasonable response to each, her last gambit was: well what does your husband think?

I cracked up laughing and told her: If he can't talk me out of it then I guess no one else can. In reality, dh would have never tried to talk me out of it. He has too much respect for my opinions, unlike her.

Cheeky mare. I put in a complaint letter about her and removed myself from her caseload.

Arcadie · 01/04/2010 12:18

I'm about to discover that I can't have a HWB or a Hosp WB due to waters breaking early with no contractions to show for it. Silly baby.....

smilehomebirth · 01/04/2010 13:22

Arcadie - "I can't have a HWB" - Hoping I'm preaching to the converted here, but nobody can say you can't have a HB, and if you decide you want to get in the pool, nobody can stop you in your own home.

The NICE guidelines say:
? the risk of serious neonatal infection is 1% rather than 0.5% for women with intact membranes
i.e. still very low. Also:
? women should be informed that bathing or showering are not associated with an increase in infection, but that having sexual intercourse may be.
So getting in the pool, especially in the latter stages, shouldn't be much of a problem either, I would've thought.

octopusinabox · 01/04/2010 14:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tittybangbang · 01/04/2010 14:55

Zazen - women should adopt whatever position makes it easiest for them to get their babies out. If that means the midwife has to bend over or squat to assist with the delivery then that is part of her job. If she can't do it she's not fit for the work and should retire to a desk job.

Sorry - but the chief priority is the safety and comfort of the mother and baby, not the midwife's knees or back.

On the subject of midwives..... was watching One Born Every Minute the other day with my dd. She pointed out that well over half those midwives were fat. Have to say there are very, very fat midwives at our local hospital. How the buggery do they do their jobs if they're morbidly obese? It's such gruelling hard work (all that sitting about eating biscuits and telling off colour jokes.... )

tittybangbang · 01/04/2010 14:59

Sorry, in answer to the OP - my friend was told 'I'm sorry dear, but I'm not bending over that' by a midwife on the labour ward, after my friend asked to use the one pool in the unit. Of over 5000 births at this hospital in a year, only five happened in the pool. The midwives kept losing the plug or would tell people that the water wasn't running fast enough and it would take too long to fill.

Last year they refurbished the ward and removed the pool. Luckily they also opened a birth centre with three pools right next door to the labour ward, and now they're doing loads of waterbirths. You never hear of the midwives in the birth centre fobbing women off with lame excuses.

bumpybecky · 01/04/2010 16:56

Arcadie, my waters went with dd3 and ds (#3 &4) before labour, both times approx 12 hours before birth, both were home water births. Don't give up hope yet!

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