Home birthed children grow up to be especially sunny, relaxed and happy children

[Bumperlicious]

Do you think?

Erm, no.

yeah - all the ones born in hospital are manic depressive, stressed out miseries!

Er, is is more to do with the parents who opt for home birth being the more confident in their abilities and parenting skills?

I wasn't allowed a home birth due to high blood pressure etc. Does that mean that my confiendece in my parenting skills & abilities will somehow be lacking?

Strange question. Why do you ask?

No one really believes this do they? Have you had someone telling you this?

definitely NOT in my experience!! My hospital born 5 yo daughter is the dictionary definition of 'sunny natured', she's chilled out, happy and easy going. My home birthed 3 yo DS has been difficult from the moment he was born. He's incredibly moody and stroppy, prone to tantrums, and cries at the drop of a hat.

I can't imagine why or how a home birth could define the personality of a child???!

This is according to Nicky Wesson's 'Home Birth' book.

I'm reading up on it as I am considering it, I know all the pros of homebirth, but I just can't get past the 'what if something goes wrong?', especially when someone said to me today 'I don't know why anyone would put their baby at risk by having a homebirth, it's very selfish'

Anyway, that's by the by. I am reading this book that my friend has lent me and I am irrationally bothered by this part about the author's own HB 'She grew up to be an especially sunny, relaxed and happy little girl - qualities often noted by other mothers in their home-birth children'.

It's made me very cross and wary of reading the rest of the book. It's so emotive with absolutely no evidence or reasoning behind it. Was just wondering what you all thought. Am I just being hypersensitive. It's easy to take positive reasons for one choice as a complete attack on the opposite choice when one does not necessarily mean the other. But just seems a bit wishy washy to me.

I would bin the book too.

What a load of absolute fanny.

I'm all for homebirth if it's what a woman really wants and she is adequately supported - but the 'sunny child' thing is just complete poppycock.

I'd be wary if it's not been backed up by some kind of evidence. My uncle was a homebirth - right miserable git he is

Ditch the book. It's mis-selling homebirth! I want my money back! My DD was born at home, and she's a total madam. Sure, she's happy, so long as - in the manner of a tiny despot - she gets her own way.

I agree with MinnieMalone's comment about needing adequate support. If there is a risk to the mother or infant, then you do need medical back-up.

My sister was born at home. She has had anorexia and depression in her time.

I have two children, one born quite traumatically in hospital - emergency ventouse, operating theatre, nearly C-section - and one born in a birthing pool in our front room. Pushed to choose, I'd think the hospital birth was sunnier. They are both delightful children.

It's a fairly crappy book IIRC anyway. Goes on about how you'll have the baby probably at night so your other children can sleep through. Yeah. Right. As if.

One of string of nonsense books obviously.

But just to clarify, in Britain there is medical back up with home birth. First, you are atended by two midwifes (better than in hospital) second those midwifes are working in a team connectd to a hospital and will transfer you if there is any problem.

I will say that in the first months of life my homebirthed DS was calmer than the hospital birthed babies of friends with the same age DC - and i think there could have been a connection - but that could be easy birth vs difficult birth rather than home vs hospital.

And as for later in life - every day has its own effects - birth is only one of them.

A home birth - and don't get me wrong, I am glad I had one - is for you. The baby will not give a flying fandango where it emerges, including whether that's from your vagina or a slit in your belly. It will not sleep, settle, breastfeed, bond or develop in any way differently. Choose one, by all means, but don't be swayed by hype or twaddle.

werent 99% of people born at home until about the 1960s? and you've seen those old fashioned photos - they all look complete miseries mind you that's possibly the bonnets, waistcoats and corsets!

That would cause me to launch the book through the nearest and highest window!

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for homebirths where they're right for the parents and the baby, but let's not start endowing them with some sort of mythical effects on temperament. At least not without any shred of evidence!

not suggesting people born in the 60s wear bonnets and corsets well not in public at least
What is the point of a bonnet anyway? I get hats, but bonnets?

Don't bin the book...it is a useful book (although some of the stuff dealing with unexpected outcomes/loss is hard to read).

She is trying to promote homebirth so you have to take some of the more 'confident' comments with a pinch of salt!

I have had three hospital births (although i am very pro-homebirth) and my children are sometimes sunny and outgoing and wonderful and sometimes complete and utter ratbags...aren't everyones?

I was born at home and tend towards grumpiness, although I am quite relaxed I suppose. You couldn't accuse me of being "sunny" though. Especially not today with this pigging cold.

I won't bin the book, and I will read it (despite the annoying arial font). I'm not sure on the homebirth thing.

I just can't get past the 'something going wrong' part, and worry that I never will, so in actual fact I won't be relaxed.

What is it that helped those of you who did have a HB get past it?

Especially when the woman said to me what I mention earlier, then proceeded to tell me about someone having something going seriously wrong. I know it happens, I know it is unlikely but how do you weigh up the risk?

I'm considering it mainly because I had a fast birth (5 hours) with DD and hated every minute of it, and hated being in hospital. But if something went wrong I'd never forgive myself and worry that DH wouldn't forgive me either. (He is open to the idea, but not sold on it, however will do no research to help and will only rely on what I tell him - but that is another argument thread).

As others have said its all about where you feel comfortable and if the fear of the 'something going wrong' won't go then you won't be comfortable at home.

I've never been in a hospital except for tests (I was born at home too), so I'm pretty uncomfortable there. I knew I would have been more tense in hospital.

A friend due at the same time was a nurse. She tried a home birth but fretted and had to be transferred. Her second birth in the hospital was much better.

In terms of the backup I have a close friend who had her first DD in Guys, her heart rate dropped to 0 and it was 30 minutes before she got a section because it was between nursing shifts. The real problem was poor monitoring throughout labour.

This friend was terrified while I was in labour. But visiting the next day she marvelled at how lucky we were (and not just lucky to avoid the awful trauma she had)

It takes 20 minutes to get a theatre ready. If your midwives call and you live in an urban area you might not even experience delay. The care you get with homebirth really is very good.

Birth (and indeed life) is risky. Being in a safe and comfortable place cared for by competent people you trust is the best mitigation.

Think about what stresses you out as an individual. Personally, I don't feel stressed out by hospitals so any stress-related risks from giving birth in hospital would clearly not apply to me. Otoh we have Mumsnetters who get panic attacks from merely going near a hospital, so to them it would apply. We don't all have to react to things in the same way.