Home birth problems please help. Very upset.

[chegirlWILLbeserene]

Sorry for needy post but am very upset.

I had a lovely hb two years ago and no problems or objections.

Planned hb this time for lots of reasons.
I have a real problem with hosptials. Some of you may know I had a DD who was very ill for a long time and died. I have developed PTSD and find medical environments very very stressful.
Have a OH who has MS and I would worry a lot about him hanging about in a hosptial.
Have 3 other children to think about.

But the main problem is how very stressed and panicky I get around hospitals.

I am 37 +4.
This is my 4th birth child. I had my first two 18 and 16 years ago.
My iron has been low 10.1 but I am now on 600mg Fs so am expecting it to have risen nicely.

MW has been trying to persuade me to go into hospital because of risk factors i.e. 4th baby, low iron and anti e anti bodies.

There does not seem to be any real high risk factors but she keeps telling me I am at risk of PPH because of having so many babies.

Her manager didnt seem that worried when I spoke to her. My friend is a 3rd year mw student and doesnt think its a problem (though is not giving me medical advice).

Of course I want my baby to be safe. I want me to be safe.

I live 10 mins from the hospital.

I have read some stuff and it seems you are more at risk from PPH in hospital because you are more like to have interventions etc.

I have never had any excessive bleeding after labour and seem to contract back pretty quickly (breast feed straight away).

When I say I am anxious about hospitals I do not mean I am a bit nervy. I have full blown panic attacks and am getting shaky just thinking about it now.

I KNOW anything can happen in labour. But am I really at risk just because this is my 4th baby in 18 years?

Please can someone help?

Obviously if my iron levels have not improved I will rethink.

Reading www.homebirth.org.uk it's considered a slightly higher risk after FIVE not four.

I had my 3rd and 4th at home, have no history of PPH, it was never even mentioned. Not sure why she's said this to you

I would buy some floradix and take that instead of iron tablets as it will raise your iron levels quicker because it has all the vitamins etc in it that help your body absorb the iron - can get it from Hollands and Barrets and the like.

If I were you I would be booking for a homebirth you can change your mind and go into hospital at anytime before/during the birth.

Thank you.

I am actually on the verge of tears.
This is NOT like me at all.

I have no history of PPH either. MW said 'but that doesnt make a difference'.

Surely it does? If they are looking at risk 'factors' surely they take your previous birth history into account?

I think its the whole iron thing that set her off. But I always get a bit low at this stage and iron tablets have always sorted it out.

Too be fair she has offered to be on call so she can take me to birthing unit and in and out in 6 hrs but the thought of moving whilst in active labour does not appeal if its 'just in case'.

I am really not trying to be selfish. I want what is best for my baby. I just dont want to go into hosptial for no real reason.

I raised my iron by a whole point (11.5 to 12.6) in one week by taking spatone twice a day with orange juice, so try that - cheapest place is on amazon - £4.35 for a box of 28 (so enough for 2 weeks) with free delivery. Your iron may have risen anyway from the iron tablets.

If you are uncomfortable in hospital that sounds like a very bad place to have a baby, you need to be calm and relaxed.

your midwife is being a cow.

for a better explanation than mine, visit www.homebirth.org.uk and read the 'am i allowed' link (or some phrase like that)

your iron levels are fine for a home birth now, even without the iron tablets.

Spatone is much better if you want to raise your iron levels.

hi I was planning a HB with my fourth after having second and third at home. The MW was SO against it and kept using the PPH risk as a big factor. Last birth I had a slightly higher than average blood loss straight after the birth but it settled down very quickly but cause me to be slightly anaemic afterwards.

She has been a nightmare as keeps telling me the risk of bleeding to death etc with a HB, I asked her what if I go into labour and cannot make it to the hospital (I have v fast labours) and she replied "dial 999" so in her thoughts giving birth attended by paramedics is safer than a HB with MWs I think she is a lazy cow that doesn't want to go on call. This is my fourth in almost 6 years and she is always spouting this to me.

They cannot refuse you a HB and your iron isn't that low, I am taking one spatone sachet a day plus a multivit.

Get on the Spatone, 2 sachets a day plus try and eat some iron rich foods like meat if you can, dark chocolate etc

also read this: on grandmultipara which you are not now anyway.

Iron count of 10 at this stage is normal and may even be healthy. It is not up to you to 'prove' there is no increased risk of PPH with a 4th birth, but the MW's job to prove there is a risk. AFAIK it is considered a bit of an old wives take and certainly not evidence based.

this and this, bit medicalised and this all useful to read.

I'm sure you know, but a simple, 'yes I understand what you have said but I am still having this baby at home' (repeat as needed) will do wonders. As will @Gosh, I hadn't seen any research that showed an HB of 10 will put me in danger, let me know the details and I will read it myself it sounds really interesting (Watch face drop as no evidence to be found) Yes you are slightly at risk of being anaemic after the birth but that can be sorted out if neccessary. Agree excess blood loss more likely in hospital as less intervention at home and natural 3rd stage not thought to make any difference to overall blood loss postnatally.

Best wishes with your plans!

You are all being so helpful thankyou.

I dont want people to tell me its all ok just to make me feel better. I just think if you got 10 MWs together probably only a couple or so would even mention this stuff to me.
You could say pretty much anything could happen couldnt you?

I am perfectly prepared to go in if I have to. I do not see the reason to move a woman in a lot of pain and contracting and strapping her to an ambulance trolley and then faffing about at the hospital for the reasons she has given me.

It doesnt seem to make any sense.

Getting an ambulance if you are having problems is different and something the majority of us would do if we had to.

Just had a word with OH and he is being v.supportive. He was a bit wary of a HB last time but once he experienced it he could see the advantages.

Its so hard when people say stuff. Its like because it has been said its going to happen IYSWIM.

The others are doing a good bit on addressing your actual 'risk' factors which don't sound too significant really. (Not sure about the anti E though - from what I gather you can have a blood test before you give birth to check their levels and whether they are likely to be a problem or not.)

But I would point out that having a serious phobia of hospital is a risk factor should you have a hospital birth. This ought to be taken into account by your caregivers. If you are terrified or strongly uncomfortable in a hospital environment, it puts you at greater risk in that environment for a stalled or poorly progressing labour, more interventions etc.

I don't know anything about anti-e but the other reasons should not stop you having a home birth.

In particular your age is not old and you gave birth just two years ago with no complications.

As long as your Hb comes up this won't be a problem.

If you never had pph before, I don't see why you should have one now - 4 births is not so many!

I've been advised not to have a home birth if I ever have a fourth but that's because I have a history of heavy bleeding after birth.

Good luck, I hope you get this sorted.

And actually having paramedics deliver instead of a midwife is absolutely fine. When ds2 arrived very quickly they turned up just as he was crowning, introduced themselves then got on with it.

MW is using a bit of manipulation.

She said she is prepared to be on call just for me if I go into the low risk unit. Otherwise she cant guarentee to be at birth.

TBH I dont think I want her at HB now. I had different MWs at my DS3 birth than I saw throughout prg. I had him at Christmas so MW wasnt on duty. This didnt bother me at all.

MW says she is not against HB and did 10 whilst in training. Not sure I am confident that she is for them though!

Carmen I think my fear is a huge risk factor. I am now 42 so have no plans to have anymore children but even if I was younger I think I would say no more. I simply cannot deal with the stress of having to deal with medics (however nice) or medical environments. I never thought I would EVER say no more babies.

Thank you all again for your support. It is making so much difference - really.

Manipulation? The word I'd use is blackmail che, grrrrrrr.

LOL Web

I dont think she would see it like that but I have to agree with you.

I think she would say she is going out of her way to support me to -do-- what she wants

My first successful HB was with my 5th birth and the risk of more bleeding was only mentioned briefly in passing, it wasn't regarded as a big deal.

I wrote a letter to the head of midwifery asking for a new midwife to work with me and to make sure that that midwife would not attend my birth.

she had obstructed my plans for a homebirth and in no way did i want her to have anything to do with me or my baby.

sorry I misread OP, thought you were aged 37! I still don't see why age 42 would be a problem as you proved just two years ago you can give birth at home.

I was terrified for all my births but luckily I had very reassuring midwives.

I have been looking at homebirth UK and feel very reassured

I do not seem to be at any increased risk at all!

The anti E thing is more about baby. It means that if he gets jaundiced within 1st 24 hrs (rather than the usual 3 days) he will have to go in for phototherapy.

But low levels of anti e are not an issue in themselves. The tests have shown that I have them but no one has ever told me if they have gone up or how many (i.e. could be just 'trace')

I will have to deal with baby going into hospital if it arises. This will be very traumatic as I will be on the same ward as I spent so much time with DD on but it is something that I will have to cope with (it wont be the worst thing I have ever had to do).

I am feeling so much more confident now thanks to you lot and homebirth uk. My mw friend is going to call me soon. She has had 5 babies. She had her 5th at home despite having a history of PPH.

Maybe my MW trained a while ago, do you think that is why she is so anti?

Thanks again.

Hey Chegirl

I just want to wish you a safe labour. You sound like you have a positive and realistic approach, so I wish you all the very very best.

What I did is try make the labour room my space - so that it did not seem like a hospital at all.

I suffered a major PPH. Actually despite my major PPH I had a wonderful birth, had fantastic staff and found my labour to be a positive, empowering experience.

I have to say that because of my previous PPH I would not ever choose to have a home birth - the assurance of having professional hospital staff ready on hand was key for me and I recovered well.

Hi chegirl I had the homebirth midwife around today for the "are you connected to mains water" chat and she said that 4 births is NOT considered grand multip. I'm having my 4th next month too.

Chegirl, I understand where you are coming from I had three weeks of nightmares and broken sleep and was struggling to breath (panic attacks ?) when I had to attend an consultant appointment recently...I don't do hospitals.

Re/ Anti E antibodies. I have this element in my blood following a mismatched blood transfusion by local crap hospital.

I made them test my DH's blood and that cleared this problem for us.

As I found research saying that anti E antibodies only affect babies with an big E factor type in their blood.
Therefore they can test your DH's blood and see if it is possible for you and your DH to make an big E baby.

They tested my husband and we can not make big E babies, so none of our babies will be affected even if my Anti E antibodies go sky high. It only took a week for the results to come back (via local hospital) from the Manchester blood centre, might be worth pushing for.

Good luck planning your home birth. Contact the Supervisor of midwives at your local hospital if you want further medical advice or a different midwife

Hi and thanks again everyone.

MW came round today with my hb kit. She seems to have got it out of her system and didnt really push the point.

I had a sleepless night last night with all the worry though!

That is very interesting babies. I did a lot of googling about anti e and it seems its unusual for it to cause any problems. I suspect it started 17 years ago when I had a MC. When I had my DS1 a shortly after they found 'trace' antibodies but nothing was done about it. I am supposing they increase a bit each time you get pg?

Feeling ok now. Doing lots of relaxation stuff and frantically tidying and sorting. Because obviously if my house is spotless and super tidy everything will be fine

Thanks everyone for your supportive posts. They have really helped a lot.

Great that all is on track for your homebirth! Hope it goes well.

Hi chegirl

lots of useful advice on here already but I wanted to wave as im 37+2, booked for a homebirth and at the last test had a hb of 10 - both my midwife and GP (and doula!)said this shouldnt be a problem. They also know that i'm on Spatone as the iron tabs make me feel vile.

Good luck with it all... really hope you get to stay at home and glad to hear your midwife has calmed down. How do you feel about her attending your birth? not sure i would want soemone around who is a bit unsupportive and manipulative... not that we get that kind of choice given the staffing issues...ho hum..