Home birth problems please help. Very upset.

[chegirlWILLbeserene]

Sorry for needy post but am very upset.

I had a lovely hb two years ago and no problems or objections.

Planned hb this time for lots of reasons.
I have a real problem with hosptials. Some of you may know I had a DD who was very ill for a long time and died. I have developed PTSD and find medical environments very very stressful.
Have a OH who has MS and I would worry a lot about him hanging about in a hosptial.
Have 3 other children to think about.

But the main problem is how very stressed and panicky I get around hospitals.

I am 37 +4.
This is my 4th birth child. I had my first two 18 and 16 years ago.
My iron has been low 10.1 but I am now on 600mg Fs so am expecting it to have risen nicely.

MW has been trying to persuade me to go into hospital because of risk factors i.e. 4th baby, low iron and anti e anti bodies.

There does not seem to be any real high risk factors but she keeps telling me I am at risk of PPH because of having so many babies.

Her manager didnt seem that worried when I spoke to her. My friend is a 3rd year mw student and doesnt think its a problem (though is not giving me medical advice).

Of course I want my baby to be safe. I want me to be safe.

I live 10 mins from the hospital.

I have read some stuff and it seems you are more at risk from PPH in hospital because you are more like to have interventions etc.

I have never had any excessive bleeding after labour and seem to contract back pretty quickly (breast feed straight away).

When I say I am anxious about hospitals I do not mean I am a bit nervy. I have full blown panic attacks and am getting shaky just thinking about it now.

I KNOW anything can happen in labour. But am I really at risk just because this is my 4th baby in 18 years?

Please can someone help?

Obviously if my iron levels have not improved I will rethink.

Thanks belgo

Hi bexy. Its good to hear that noone is freaking about you being 10. MW kept referring to my 'aneamia' today and I want to scream at her 'I am not bloody aneamic woman!'

I was prepared to ask her if she would feel more comfortable handing over my care to someone else if she played up today. But she was ok and didnt raise anymore objections.

I dont know what the chances are of her being here for the birth anyway. And if she is she wont be alone as I will have two. I have never had the same mw all the way through and at any of my labours. It must be a pretty remote chance in an inner london borough surely? Who knows?

I was worrying about it (didnt sleep last night) but when I saw her today I didnt feel so bad.

She is ok really. I think she got this bee in her bonnet and felt she had to push the point.

Still feeling more anxious than I would like but I am putting that down somewhat to only having DC4 two years ago so labour fresh in my mind . It wasnt that bad but it still bloody hurt!

Hi, you have had lots of support and advice here but just wanted to say that my mother had numbers 3, 4 and 5 at home with no problems.