For those that didn't tear (or had only a small tear) ... any tips?

[Walnut8]

I've read the textbook stuff about avoiding tears but just wondered if there are any "real-life" tips from those of you that didn't tear during labour ... anything really that you found useful or did that you think may have helped prevented you from tearing too badly. Thank you!

That's really interesting re the hand on the head as the baby crowns. Are midwives generally happy for you to do this, or encourage this?

I 2nd the comment about not pushing until you feel the need. With DD I was told I was fully dilated and I could push, but I had no urge to, and after 1.5 hours of pushing I was exhausted and she was distressed.

I did manage to push her out before I got transferred out of MLU into labour ward but I tore because she was born in uncontrolled way.

Hi

My daughter was born weighing 7lb 3oz but had her hand by her head. In spite of that (and quite rarely I think) I had no perineal damage at all. I had a small labial graze which had 1 stitch just to ensure it closed properly - the midwife said it would really sting when weeing but it didn't hurt at all - ever - I was very lucky. I also had a small internal tear (I think it must have been due to her hand being by her head - there were apparently 5 grazes - one for each finger??) which was stitched but didn't hurt afterwards as it was inside rather than outside.

I used an epi-no but never got past 7 cm so that may have helped - when I used it I never felt much pressure on my perineum but rather felt that the stretch was going "upwards" if you know what I mean - ie I thought I might not have a perineal tear but perhaps a labial graze.

I was on my back (as she wasn't moving down well on all fours) with legs wide apart on midwives' hips. I had an epidural which I let wear off so I could feel everything and it did hurt but not horribly (so maybe could have prevented the "get it out now as it hurts so much so push as hard as possible as quickly as possible". Her heartbeat apparently stopped with every contraction at the end and they gave me three pushes to get her out - otherwise episiotomy - I begged them not to! So actually I had to push as hard as I could. Right at the very end a senior midwife "swept" her fingers around the baby's head so she popped out which seemed to help a lot. Gosh sorry - massive post!

With DD1 had only a small graze, and with DD2 had no tears/grazes or anything. No idea why! Didn't do perineal massage, gave birth on my back both times, both very quick births. I did wait until midwives told me to push - but honestly think its sometimes down to luck

Someone asked if midwives routinely support the perineum during the second stage, I think some do but the majority don't. I tore fairly badly with my ds, no supporting was done. I'm going to request it this time, unless something is going wrong there should be no reason why they can't put a warm flannel, a bit of oil/lube or even just a supporting hand on the area.

So if you want the support, do ask for it on your birth plan.

i think its mainly luck tbh.

i had no pain relief, was on all fours, in water, and calm.
did all the massaging etc when pg
but still got a 4th degree tear.

That's terrible carrie - did you get any explanation as to why it happened?

no, theres was no reason, i was full term, went into spontaneous labour, felt calm and confident i could do it.

nothing went wrong, no interventions

I had DS2 in kneeling upright position and had a very helpful MV who hekped slow me down and go with natural urges to push. That combination definitely helped me.

Tore badly with DS1, which was a lying down, 'push really hard' sort of birth.

My first baby is due in 4 months time.
It is this whole tearing thing that freaks me out most!!
Is better to tear or be cut as you can then be stitched back up to normal size, whereas if you stretch you may not just spring back ?

better to tear naturally really, as you never know you maybe not tear at all.

Is it more difficult to stitch a tear than stitch a clean cut or is this just a myth?

Rochester the whole tearing thing freaked me out big time first time I was pregnant too. I had a 2nd degree tear and a vaginal tear which I wasn't prepared for. I survived with the help of a jug of water every time I went for a wee. I have heard a natural tear will 'knit' better than a cut. A cut can avoid a very severe tear though.

I wouldn't say I'm quite back to 'normal' size but I healed very quickly and haven't had any problems. My, erm, love life is great when me and DH can find the energy. In fact better then before.

The reasons I tore were head size, speed baby needed to get out and the fact I was on my back with an epidural. I'm hoping to avoid it this time with the tips on here. I'm planning a homebirth in water. But if I want or need an epidural and I tear again it won't be the end of the world.

walnut8 I also had dd2 in water with a very small 1st degree tear, and as soon as she crowned I had my hand firmly on her head - at one point I think I was actually trying to push her back in LOL (because it hurt, I was trying to stop her coming any further too fast I suppose). I've heard it is quite common to touch baby's head when you are in the water - it doesn't feely quite so yucky as it would on dry land.

The midwife did say "what on earth are you doing down there?" in sarcastic tones, which I thought was rather stupid of her - should've been blinking obvious!

That can be one of the good things about waterbirth though, the pool is your territory, you should be able to do what you like in it.

Allegrogirl
Thankyou for your honest and frank response. You realy have helped settle my mind. Especially the fact you feel your love life has actually improved despite your slightly larger than 'normal' (I don't like that word!) size. My latest freak out is after watching 'One Born Every Minuite' last night and the realisation that the midwife inserts her whole hand into you during her examinations! Pushing out is one thing pushing in is another! But thats a whole new message board topic. I think I just need to relax!!!

Bodyshop do little bottles of vitamin E oil.Left it on the loo,everytime I did a wee,massaged a few wee drops into perineum-the skin between your fanjo and bumhole to put it politely,LOL! Stay upright to deliver,listen to body and midwife.You may feel the baby moving down with each push.The midwife will tell you to stop pushing as the baby crowns-this is when the head emerges.YOU MUST STOP PUSHING! She will stop the babies head from emerging too fast by putting her hand on it,then she will ease your skin over the babies head,thus hopefully preventing any tears etc.This is when you do all the panting-prctice at home.Imagine pushing,pushing,then say stop.If you blow or pant,you can't really push.That is the science behind it.I rehersed this loads so I would be ready for it,LOL.Then she will ask for one more little push...and bingo out they come.DS1 9lbs 7oz,DS2 10lbs 110z,no stitches,slight graze withDS1.Good luck,Woopsi.

rochester glad to help. I spent many a sleepless night worrying about tears when pregnant 1st time. Now I just worry about months of sleepless nights ahead!!