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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

For those that didn't tear (or had only a small tear) ... any tips?

42 replies

Walnut8 · 26/02/2010 10:08

I've read the textbook stuff about avoiding tears but just wondered if there are any "real-life" tips from those of you that didn't tear during labour ... anything really that you found useful or did that you think may have helped prevented you from tearing too badly. Thank you!

OP posts:

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow · 26/02/2010 10:10

labouring upright/on all fours or in a squat (squat in particular) helps.

search for threads on perineal massage

tutu100 · 26/02/2010 10:13

I 2nd giving birth upright only had a graze with ds2 although that still stung loads when I had to pee.

Ds2 practically fell out. Didn't have to conciously push at all and I'm sure thats because I was stood up.

MumNWLondon · 26/02/2010 11:25

perineal massage
don't give birth lying or sitting on a bed
give birth in water
baby needs to be born very slowly in very controlled manner so don't push, or don't push very hard!

I did have a graze though and it stung loads when I had to wee, but no stitches required.

MamaChris · 26/02/2010 13:01

I didn't tear at all, despite ds being not small, lying flat on my back for the birth and pushing very hard by the end! I put this down to lots of perineal massage, and plain luck (I'm double jointed, and think my skin is perhaps more stretchy than most, just like my joints). Wishing you good luck too

twopeople · 26/02/2010 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mama2moo · 26/02/2010 13:26

My dd2 is 3 weeks old and was 8lb 13oz! I had a teeny tiny tear that apparently wasnt even worth mentioning!

With dd1 I had a 2nd degree tear and a graze. She was only 7lb 1oz.

The difference - Dd1 I was on my back and had to get her out fast as she was struggling. Dd2 I was kneeling on the bed and the mw helped me breathe her out.

I also kept walking around until I was ready to push both times. And, the 2nd time I kept my gas and air for the whole time (they werent taking it again!!) I think that helped as I was out of it a bit and didnt push too hard.

Good luck

sweetkitty · 26/02/2010 13:28

My DD2 was 9lbs 3ozs and I didn't even have a graze, I listened to the MW and stopped pushing and slowed everything down, the MW also supported the perineum I think as well.

DD1 was 3lbs lighter but was born with her hand by her face and I had a bad second degree tear and was scared of tearing again.

DD3 was 8lbs 5ozs but flew out and tore me again but didn't have stitches for that one.

MumNWLondon · 26/02/2010 13:29

I tore badly with DD - despite lots of perineal massage - and she wasn't that big (7 5) but she was born too quickly - basically she was distressed I was in a MLU and the midwifes were packing up my stuff to move me to the labour ward, and I was pushing and pushing as I didn't want to go anywhere "for help" - and then she landed on the floor !

I didn't mind though as she needed to come out at that point and IMO a tear was better for me than an assisted delivery.

Back to what i said earlier - a slow controlled delivery is best - however sometimes thats not possible.

No tear with DS though, slow birth in a pool.

LackingNicknameInspiration · 26/02/2010 13:35

I second the pool - DD2 born in Dec, rather fell out too, so no pushing really - had superficial tear which midwife stitched to be on safe side but no muscle involved and I had hardly any discomfort - and she was 9lbs 10.

Had more stitches with DD1 where I laboured in water but got out to deliver - she was 8lbs 5 FWIW.

sasza321 · 26/02/2010 13:38

Hello, I used epi-no.
DS was a big bouncy boy and I only had one tiny tear - more like a graze- that did not need any attention at all.

DrivenToDistraction · 26/02/2010 13:38

I had a smallish tear with DD but that was a ventouse delivery.

With DS (DC2) I didn't tear at all. I laboured upright (in the shower) but got into an officially unraisable position on the bed to deliver. I was kind of sitting but leaning back against DP. I hadn't actually realised thta DS was about to make his entrance otherwise I'd have got into a different position TBH. I'd only been pushing for 10 or 15 minutes and having not pushed DD out myself I didn't know how it would feel. Thankfully DP said 'push really hard now' when the midwife said the head was crowning . That reminded me to be very careful

So, I didn't push at all for two or three contractions and then pushed very gently with the next contraction and his head was born. Another very gentle push and he was out.

I tried perineal massage when I was pregnant with DD but didn't have the time or energy to do it at all when expecting DS.

The 19 month age gap might have helped but evything did seem to have returned to normal. It felt like it and DP swore it was.

I wonder how much of a role genetics plays TBH.

DrivenToDistraction · 26/02/2010 13:41

DC were both just over 7 lbs and I'm 5' 4", buy the way.

Do make sure you have a jug by the loo after you've given birth. Pouring lukewarm water over as your fanjo as you wee really really helps.

crumpette · 26/02/2010 13:51

Don't push until you're told to, and then do so very calmly (pah!)

Be upright

Perineal massage (did it first time- no tears, didn't second time and had no major tearing but a very hard time peeing for 2 weeks)

try not to have a giant baby (I had petite DC1 followed by huge DC2)

morethemerrier · 26/02/2010 13:55

Didn't tear with either DS, first was 6lb 14oz second was 7lb 5 oz but both got big heads! lol!

I put it down to listening to the midwife and when she said stop and pant, I did!

Very hard to resist the urge to just push and get baby out, I actually remember telling the midwife when I was just about to start pushing DS2 out, that if she had to shout at me to get me to stop to do it!

Thats how badly I did not want to tear! Definatley agree that it seems to help allowing everything to stretch by slowing the final pushing down!

I did not do perenial massage with either.

Good Luck x

DrivenToDistraction · 26/02/2010 13:58

crumpette do you mean hold off pusing for as long as you can? I'd certainly agree with that.

I would however disagree with pushing when your told to, that's what I did with DD. I was 10 cm and the midwife said it was time to push, so even though I didn't have the urge (and told her so) I did, with all my might. By the time I did need to push I was, according to the midwife, to tired to carry on much longer. Cue transfer to hospital and assisted delivery

But anyway, yes holding off pushing for as long as possible is a Good Thing in many many respects.

darcymum · 26/02/2010 14:03

I had three children in very quick succession, under three years. The only one I didn't tear for was the last, and she was the biggest.

Draw your own conclusions from that!

tanmu82 · 26/02/2010 14:06

I didn't tear with either of my DC's. For both births I laboured in an all fours position as well as walking around lots. I then gave birth kneeling. I also listened to MW and slowed down to pant as head crowned. I didn't do perineal massage with either. Am pg with 3rd and don't imagine I'll do it this time either....

going · 26/02/2010 14:12

DD1 was 7lbs 12oz and I tore with her and needed stiches. I spent about 20 pusking her out and did it on my back.

DD2 and DS with both labours I was also on my back, I pushed them both out really fast but had no tears and they were 9lb1oz and 9 lb9oz. I was very relaxed during the pushing stage which in my mind made a huge differnce whereas with dd1 the room was full of people who were fussing due to her heartrate dipping and I was really tired. No perineal massage!

LaTristesse · 26/02/2010 14:15

sweetkitty can I ask what is meant by 'supported the perineum'? Is this something the MW will do anyway or do I need to ask? Does she use her hand? Does it involve her 'going inside' or is it just putting pressure on the outside part?

Sorry for all the Qs - I want to be as prepared as poss!

sweetkitty · 26/02/2010 14:17

She explained to me afterwards that she could see the tear line stretching so I think she held a flannel or something against it to support it, I don't know exactly wasn't quite with it at that point. She must have done something right as I didn't tear at all.

LaTristesse · 26/02/2010 14:23

Nice one! Thanks for the reply.

Original poster

Walnut8 · 26/02/2010 15:18

Thanks for the replies everyone, it's really great to hear some real life experiences of a tear-free birth (v encouraging). I don't think my skin is very stretchy at all, so going to need all the tips I can get!

OP posts:

gorge2003 · 26/02/2010 21:49

i have two children (ds 4 dd6 months) and didnt tear with either of them, ds was 5lb 11oz 33cm head dd 6lb 10oz 35cm head...no tears and was led down for both, ds was induced and dd's heart kept dipping so had to lie down, had slight graze with dd but nothing major and i also had a sore clitoris after ds, still feels a little strange after 4 years but also think it works better

no tips here, think i was just lucky BOTH times!

lechatnoir · 26/02/2010 22:28

DS2 was 9lb11 back-to-back and I didn't have so much as a graze a very different story to DS1 who was 1.5lb lighter! I put it down to being mobile, birthing upright (squat) and not actively pushing - there was no 'push push push' instruction from the midwife just 'do what your body is telling you to do'.

LCN

Pannacotta · 26/02/2010 22:35

FOr me giving birth in water made a huge difference.

DS1 was 9lb 2 and I had a painful second degree tear (born at home I was on my knees).

DS2 was 8lb 15 (& large head) and was born in water, I was on all fours. I had read that putting your hand to your baby's head as it crowns is a great way to prevent tearing, =I think it helps you to focus and stops you from pushing too hard. It worked for me. No tear at all with DS2.

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