Any Tips/Advice on having a "natural" drug free birth?

[Tryharder]

Am expecting DC3 in July. Gave birth to DS1 and DS2 without any major complications but had an epidural each time because am a complete wuss and couldn't stand the pain.

I am interested in having a more natural birth without an epidural but I am really frightened of pain. When I was giving birth to DS2 in relative ease (couldn't feel anything), all I could hear was the woman in the next room screaming in agony, saying she wanted to die etc...

Has anyone got any tips/advice? I have relatives who live in West Africa who give birth without even gas and air and I feel so "pathetic" in comparison. I have considered hypnosis but it's expensive so if anyone has got any feelings on that, would love to hear them!

Thanks in advance..

The Hypnobirthing book with CD is quite good and about £12.
I've only had one baby but it helped with the contractions pretty well (ended up with epidural eventually but was very chilled out!)
Personally I found chronic illnesses and experience of acute pain helped but I don't recommend it!

You foregoing pain relief isn't going to help your African friends - might as well make use of what's there if you find natural doesn't work well for you. See how it goes?

i had a long and very painful first delivery. had gas and air, quickly followed by pethidine, followed by 2 epidurals, followed by nasty ventouse delivery.

had a homebirth for my second, so i didn't have the option of anything but gas and air.

i'd been reading Derren Brown and he talked about positive thinking, so I looked into that a bit more, and i got a lot of tips from other mums from another forum i used to frequyent where a very high proportion had homebirths or unassisted labours.

I ended up drawing up a list of things to help me through the labour like
focussing on breathing,
remembering that with each contraction it IS going to end,
thinking about the baby coming out and being able to hold it, f
ocussing on the pain and using that energy to really push baby out (if focussing on it didn't work then I planned to use distraction in the form of dp back rubbing etc etc)

When i went into labour with ds2 I found I wanted to walk around a lot, which helped immensely with the pain. It did hurt, but I was so determined that I found it far more bearable than with DS1.
I also had a birth pool, and the water is fantastic for relieving some of the pain and just helping you to feel relaxed.

tbh i suspect if I had been in hospital I may have been tempted by the drugs. as it was I didn't even use the gas and air,.

for me, where I was, who I was with, my fabulous midwives etc played a much bigger part in pain relief and making my labour much more manageable and easy to cope with than my hospital birth with ds1

TIY - are you me?! I also had awful 1st labour followed by home birth for dd. And I also read Derren Brown and used hypnotherapy as pain relief.

In fact, op, I am very suggestible and my dh used a lot of hypnobirthing techniques on me which worked very well. I also hired a doula 2nd time round which - if you can afford it - I would definitely recommend. Made all the difference for me!

oh also visualisation was suggested at some point, poss derren brown?, but i was really shit at it! might work for you though?

I liked being in the bath - would a water birth be an option for you? I also found being on the toilet helped. Although - again, like TYV - I found my surroundings made a lot of difference. I was making tea and chatting up until I went into the transition stage, at which point I started saying things like, "I can't do it, I want to go to hospital, I want an epidural"! But I used g&a to get through that bit, and dd was born about 15 minutes later!

TIY, sorry. Not TYV - I was thinking of theyoungvistitor. Sorry!

i did that too, saying i wanted an epidural. my midwife just said "oh, i'll just do that for you shall i?", cue dp laughing his head off.
needless to say, at the time, i didn't find it at all funny!!

I never had an epidural, but my first and second labours I had diamorphine then G&A.

In my 3rd I was unable to have opiates, so it was G&A only, and that was only when I went to delivery. I was induced at 37 weeks so had prostin pains which were very sharp.

I found that being mobile was really useful. DH got me a pedometer (!!) and I did 10,000 steps in labour, from 9am - 5pm, just walking round the ward, up and down the stairs and corridors. I never sat down once I got out of bed at 9. Dd2 was born at 6.

I did use the G&A once I was in delivery (in fact they had to take it off me once she was born as I was still sucking on it!!!) but the mobility was a huge thing for me.

I know almost everyone goes on about water, but personally I hated it, the feeling of the water on my skin in all my labours made me feel like I had ants crawling all over me - no idea why, but don't be worried if water doesn't work, for me it was torture.

I think in the end its important to realise that its not a competition. I'm proud of myself for managing 3 births with no epidural (would not have been good for me nayway as I have had back problems and was advised against by an anaethetist friend) but you have to do what you have to do to get that baby out and in your arms!!

All the best with it - I'm sure it will be fine.

(btw not all mums with no epidural are screaming they want to die! I certainly wasn't)

Go for it - it is totally possible. Natural births. I had your textbook, mildly traumatic, forceps, emergancy room medical birth with my 1st. Never felt pain like it. With my second I hired a doula I had met and had a natural birth and was amazing! My doula totally unburdened me of all the negative birth stuff, not just from DS birth, but a lifetime of seeing 'TV births', always in a bright room with woman on a bed, legs spread, screaming and clenching firsts, people chatting away to her telling her to PUSHHH.

From my experience it is totally possible for birth not to hurt, if you give youself a chance to tap into a state where you feel detached and your brain can pump out tonnes of a special hormone which is a potent pain reliever.

The key is avoiding the 'flight mechanism '- i.e deer see's wolf whilst in labour. Deer feels scared. Labour slows down so deer can escape, labour starts again. This happens in humans too, butt he only difference is that humans can experience the same degree of fear from episode of casulty playing over in your head, medical, unfamilar rooms in hospitals, snipey midwives etc and the simple fact that you expect it to hurt. Allot.

The second key is allowing youself to detach, which you can only really do when you feel safe, and letting that potent pain relieving hormone course through your brain.The part of your brain that allows you to get into a good birth state is in a very different place to the part of your brain which is used when people talk to you and their is allot of noise around. Therefor, having some protection from Dr's midwives, uncessarilly talking to you, examing you can helpt too.

Then there's the positioning. Keeping upright, walking, moving, pacing, breathing slowly. Beds were inveneted for Dr's sake not labouring mothers. Giving birth on you back means you have to push the baby up and over a U-bend. Relaxing with contractions and letting them wash over you - yes it is possible, always every contraction to do it's full job.

So, in answering your question. In my experience it is totally possible to have a natural birth, but you have to give yourself the best chance of tapping into your own birth state and to achieve that in your hospital is hard. Homebirth ticks many of the boxes for feeling safe and controlling the environment to keep things dark and quiet. My doula was worth her weight in gold and I couldn't have done it without her. If I had gone into hospital there is no way I would of had a birth like that. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life and I had no idea my mind or my body was capable of that, but it was there and it's there for all women having a normal birth, it s just that it's damn hard to tap into for your average hospital birth.

Relaxing with contractions and breathing them out instead of clenching you fists and screaming - as because
I felt very safe and protected with her around at the birth

Our culture, environment, facilities, support systems, healthcare professionals, equipment, lights, believe systems etc are not set up for optimum birthing. If you can sort some of these things out in advance, you improve your chances greatly.

Hypnobirthing/nataltherapy are excellent starting points, so is hiring a doula.

hth

Don't go into the experience hoping it won't hurt too much. Go into it knowing that it will, with practiced and prepared techniques and tools and sheer determination to keep it under control (usually by allowing yourself to lose control ironically).

Don't get too set on an idea/plan.

I had gas and air, nothing else, DS was 'back to back', and despite everything I'd ever read I kept pushing myself on to my back as it was the most comfortable position. I ended up with a forceps delivery anyway.

TBH, I didn't get a medal at the end of it and would probably scream for all available drugs if I was to have another child.

Possibly not something you want to read, but I think it would be a mistake to go in thinking that natural birth is always going to be wonderful and better.

Agree with starlight. You need to know that it will hurt. It's your 3rd birth, so your body has done it before, and labour is likely to be less painful and shorter than a first labour, but as you had apidural both times previously, it will feel like first time round for you.

Not trying to put you off at all - but I believe the key to feeling empowered to go for a natural birth is acknowledging that you will feel pain like nothing you've experienced before, but that you can get through it, that it is an entirely natural process.

Follow the advice on this thread about mental preparation, keeping mobile, using water, and having a whole range of natural pain relief methods to draw on. Personally I found using breathing techniques to help me through was hugely helpful. The most helpful thing I was told at NCT classes was to visualise a chart with each contraction on it, and every time you get through one, mentally cross it off like days on a calendar. In other words, there are a finite number of contractions - they won't go on forever - and let's say you manage to get through 50 on breathing alone, that means that you have more things to draw on eg, massage, aromatherapy etc for the next 50. Think of it as a heirarchy of pain relief. If you go for epidural, you're going straight for the heavy duty top of the heirarchy and possibly missing out other things which may help.

Finally, don't stress about what you may have heard other women shouting during labour. Yes, you may well scream during a natural birth, and even vocalise that you want to die , it's not an uncommon feeling actually - I reached that point with my first baby, it sounds scary, but that woman was probably very close to giving birth.

IME nothing beats the high of giving birth naturally - the second that baby pops out you feel amazing, on top of the world, and yes I know you get that surge of amazement anyway with a birth, I definitely felt a huge empowerment with my two natural births.

Good luck!

Agree with Violet

I found focusing on things, taking he next breathe getting through the next contraction, coping til the footsteps had reached the end of the next corridor helped.
I think I said shit as one long word for both my completely natural births during the moment of crowing, it was probably louder than I thought it was too.
I found I couldn't have gas and air as it made me sick

in fact sod that everything I think Violet has said first and better

I know we're not supposed to be proud of ourselves etc because some people cant help their experiences but I'm damn proud of how I coped. (can I get away with that considering I also had one birth with pethedine and a crash section too)

And allow yourself to be proud of whatever birth fate hands you when it's all over. I was determined to have a natural delivery and it all went very well until I pushed for 6hrs and dd didn't materialise (she was trying to come out ear first). A hospital transfer, lots of interventions and drugs and an eventual em cs later, I had the most medicalised delivery imaginable.

The dichotomy between my ideals and the reality has caused vast problems for me. I have PTSD and an inordinate amount of guilt over a perceived failure on my part.

I know realistically that I could not change the outcome of the delivery. DD was stuck. But I should have modified my outlook going into it. It was okay to have ideals but I left no room for factors external to that and struggle with it 2.5yrs later.

I had children 2 and 3 with nothing, no pain relief no gas and air , (ds3 was breech too, but thats another story)

As other posters ahve said, take each moment as it comes, like a wave that you can get over.

Agree with all others to concentrate on the end result, not how you are getting there. It will prob be quick compared to others, so there may be no time for pain relief.

I bet you can do it..but if you do need drugs, who cares?

Tryharder did you have your DS2 at St Thomas's in London? If so, I fear the lady screaming next door to you was me!!! I screamed and wailed and begged for a c-section and wailed that I wanted to die!!!

Having said that, although mighty embarrassing at the time, it was so painful because I dilated very very quickly and baby was out before I could actually get any pain relief.

This time round I intend to have no pain relief again.. will try not to scream!!!, I think for me being relaxed will help (ie it's not my 1st birth so I know what to expect) and breathing techniques as well.

Sorry that's not much help, I haven't tried hypnobirthing etc, am hoping the power of positive thinking and breathing will get me through. Just wanted to apologise in case it was me screaming next door...

I was a birth partner for a friend a few years ago and she was silent throughout the delivery save for a sharp cry when her dd was crowning. Woman next door:

AAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHFUCKETYBOLLOCKSAAAAAARRRRGGGGG
COCKINGFUCKINGBLOODYAAAAARGHBASTARDBABY
IMDYINGIMDYINGIMDYINGIMDYINGIMDYING
AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHFUCK
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

For about 3 hours.

She popped in once the baby had arrived to apologise. She was a very middle class and utterly lovely lady.

DD was a natural VBAC. What worked?

• A great doctor who gave me freedom to walk around/KEEP MOVING/choose my birth position;
• A great birth partner (DH) who massaged my back at each contraction (yes, EACH, all night long);
• Staying home as long as possible in my own cosy nest...

Good luck, hope everything works out!

Thanks ladies for your inspiring words.

Don't worry Crumpette, it definitely wasn't you in the next bed

The contractions don't scare me as much as the crowning bit as with the epidural, I have a sensation that it should hurt due to the immense pressure but obviously it doesn't.

Can I ask if anyone is reading this, if you had a pain-relief free birth, when you were actually doing the pushing out baby bit, were you on your back lying on the bed or were you on all fours on the bed or how was it?

I think my problem is is that I don't actually know much about giving birth and the different breathing techniques etc. When I had DS1, I was living abroad so came home at the last minute to give birth and so missed out on all the antenatal classes. When I was pregnant with DS2, the midwives all assumed that I knew what I was doing so didn't offer me anything.

I had dc3 at home with nothing at all. dcs 1 and 2 in hospital (first ended in EMCS. Second with gas and air and a drop of diamorphine (like pethidine)).

In a way, I didn't really miss the gas and air because it forced my mind and hormones to deal with the pain. I felt much more in control of the whole labour process than I did with either of my daughters.

I had a water birth and it made all the difference. It's so, so much easier in water. When I was pushing the baby out, I was kneeling, holding onto the side of the bath. I used TENS all through the labour and that was great and the biggest thing which made a difference to me was having a doula! The midwife brought her along and she was amazing - kept me sane and focussed through the hardest parts.

If I was doing it again, I'd also look very closely into hypnobirthing. I found visualisation invaluable and would have liked to take that further.

I did a weekend hypnobirthing course and think it helped (had DS with just a bit of gas and air), although difficult to tell as he is my first. I will definitely be doing a hypnobirthing refresher course when number 2 comes along. Really really helped with breathing techniques etc and made me feel like I had a plan for how to deal with the contractions. I wasn't frightened at any point and although my contractions were strong they were manageable with the breathing, rocking, walking etc. So manageable in fact that by the time I got to the hospital I was 7-8cm dilated but had to persuade the midwife to check me and not just send me home as I apparently didn't sound like I was in enough pain to be in established labour

But as I say, it's difficult to know how much of this is down to hypnobirthing and how much is down to luck...

I was having the conversation of pain in labour with my sister in law and she said she was reading a book by the guy who had something to do with founding the nct, I think thats who is was...anyway....his theory was that pain has a purpose for survival but in labour it has no place and that it is only fear and panic that bring pain about. After a few conversations with people and drawing on my own labour I can see that the only time I was in proper pain, not just the discomfort stage, was when I was scared about how long it was going to last and what was going to happen next.
Im not saying its like that for everyone before someone jumps down my throat. Its an interesting theory though, I have heard a lot of people say that the more relaxed you are the easier it is.

I agree with you Minnie. When you see animals giving birth (well, see them on telly), they do not seem to be suffering unduly or screaming in pain. My issue is definitely the anticipation of pain. Will definitely look into hypnobirthing.