MamaG has finally booked her debrief (sorry for name-in-title but I'm being nagged by some MNers and need them to see I've done this!!)

[MamaG]

Thursday 3rd December at 1.30

Well done MamaG - my debrief was the best thing I did - it really helped. I cried loads but the mw/counsellor was fab.
Hope it goes well

Good luck, hope it is the overall helpful experience that you are needing

Good luck MamaG - hope it all goes well.

How'd it go, MamaG?

Just been looking for this thread and am a mite worried to see you haven't been back Mamag - hope you are doing ok, must have been a pretty intense sort of day.

Sorry I didn't come back NL, I had a busy night with teething BabyG.

It went well, I think. I didn't cry although I fought back tears a couple of times. It didn't jog any memories, but I did find out more stuff - little things like it was 3 minutes from first cut to baby being born, he cried within 1 minute, he had a little bit of oxygen just becuase he had a gunky mouth etc. My wonderful MW did listen to me when I said something was wrong, even though there was nothing to indicate anything was wrong: she went and got the Head MW to come and check me over and SHE got hte registrar! They then ignored the registrar(!) and phoned the consultant at home (at 2.30am LOL) to discuss with him .

She confirmed that he would have got into distress if we'd continued and tried to deliver naturally. At one point I was 9cm (which i didn't know).

In the notes post CS it kept saying "baby BF again" - lol at hte little piglet. She said the CS was def right, that I couldn't have done anything to avoid it and nothing I did CAUSED the cs. She said I should congratulate myself that my mothers intuition works so well!

I lost almost 2 litres of blood during the CS, no wonder I felt so dreadful afterwards. I was quite shocked by that.

So, althought it didn't jog any memories for me as I'd hoped (the amnesia is very common after a GA, she said) I do feel more peaceful about it all. I laid in bed and thought about it last night, but I didn't go over and over it, in an anxious manner like usual - it was more a calm recollection and a "hey, it's ok" type of thing

Thanks very much for the support and nagging from poledra everyone, I'm really glad I've done it.

Sounds like it was a good thing to do MamaG. Well done. Hope it is all much better 'memories' for you now.

Thanks buda. I do feel like a weight has been lifted

No need to apologise - I just remembered to look for the thread and then though 'eek where is she' I sort of forgot you have a baby

That sounds like a really interesting experience for you, so glad it's had a positive effect. Your midwife team sound great - how nice to know they were in your corner, listening to you. And 2 litres lost on top of the effects of a GA - yes that would make you feel utterly crap all right! I know what you mean about the amount of blood loss being a shocking thing. I lost only 800ml with dd3 but I can remember feeling it pouring out of me, the very professional and calm midwives being very keen to get the placenta out and get things settled and dh who saw it - and is very good with things medical - being quite taken aback by it and concerned. It was a small but significant factor in our decision not to have anymore children as I just wouldn't put myself in that situation again even though I had no after effects from the blood loss at all. It is a shock but once you know about it and have processed it, it starts to become more of a fact and less of a scary unknown.

All the best with the packing now!

Thanks NL

Aaahh, MamaG, I am so glad you feel more at peace with it now. I'll admit, I was a leetle worried that after I'd pushed you into it-- it might not be as helpful for you as it was for me, so I'm delighted that it has helped you.

I promise to stop nagging you now (apart from telling you to go get packing for that move, of course). Kisses to BabyG mwah mwah!!