Im scared, really scared, I cant do it, but I have to )-:

[mosschops30]

I dont want to give birth again. My baby is too big, and now mw says its got a big head, I cant find anything anywhere about the size of ds's head.

Im scared it will get stuck
Im scared theres something wrong with the baby
Im scared of everything changing
Im scared of someone making a cock up and me being damaged forever
Im scared of dying

Generally just terrified of the whole thing, I should be excited but Im not, its ruining what should be a special last weekend with the dc's and Ive done nothing with them yet, we are supposed to go out for dinner tonight, it feels like the last supper instead of something nice.

Dear god how pathetic do I sound?? Sorry

Labour is scary, but try to relax and just go with it, being relaxed is the best thing for both of you

Size estimation is absolute bollocks, and even scans are wildly inaccurate. In my last pregnancy I was measuring big and had a scan at 37 weeks where they said DD would be 9lb 7oz 'give or take a pound' - I went into complete panic at the prospect of an 10lb 7oz baby!

She turned out to be a large but very manageable 9lb 4oz, induced vaginal delivery at +10 cos she was so darn comfy in there. Did have forceps and episotomy at the end because she'd managed to wrap the cord round her neck but can happily report everything in the lady garden returned to a completley normal state with no long term consequences.

I'm now pregnant with no 2 DD, and looking like another big 'un. And the random unhelpful comments from some doctors and midwives have started. Unless there is some concrete evidence to show me I'mm growing a 13lb then I won't panic too much - I know from having a big baby last time that if they are really worried about your ability to give birth naturally they'll discuss things like intervention and shoulder dystocia etc with you.

Nearly everyone I know has been told at some stage by a midwife that they are carrying small or big - and of course they come out either the opposite or a 'normal' size. I know none of this resolves your worry but just to say it was probably a very off the cuff comment by the MW and if she'd had any serious concerns she would have referred you for a late scan (and I'd know I've got them booked at 32 and 37 weeks!).

But agree it would be well worth expressing your concerns on Monday and discussing with them how any issues with size, pain management etc will be handled.

And when you pop out a nice 8lber I'll be looking on enviously

Mosschops I'm pregnant with DS2 and like you get scared but trying not to dwell on it too much.
DS1 was 8lb 1oz and had a big head (still does - he's 2 yrs old and wears hats for 6 year olds!! I hasted to add that strangely, it doesn't look out of proportion, he doesn't look like a lollipop or anything, he's just got a big head circumference!!) and I didn't tear at all, so chances are you'll be fine.

I know this sounds trite but the best thing you can do is relax and trust your body to work properly, it knows what it's doing. The more relaxed you are, the more you'll stretch easily and the easier the birth will be.

As everyone else has said, the more reassurance you seek and honest you are about your concerns the better, no need to be shy about it, they'll have seen it before and it's their job to help scared women in labour!! Good luck, I hope it goes well!

Hi,

I am packing my hosptial bag and would appreciate a lil help wiht the following:

I plan to breastfeed and need a top which can be opened for breastfeeding!

WHERE I can find such a thing? I have not found ANY nightdress which opens at the front!!

THanks.

g

My son was supposed to be massive - lots of size scans etc, Large Baby written on my notes - turned out 7lb2 (very big hands and feet though!).

If you are scared talk to your consultant about a csection (that is a valid reason).

jaabaar -
Some nighties[[http://www.mothercare.com/b/42797041/275-8015966-4780867?ie=UTF8&pf_rd_r=1A837AHZ3WG5Z74EW A5A&pfrdm=A2LBKNDJ2KZUGQ&pfrdt=101&pfrdi=42767041&pfrdp=222674291&pfrds=left-nav-3 here]

Let's try that again!

jaabaar -
Some nightieshere

well am feeling a little better today.
Have cleaned the house from top to bottom, stripped all the beds and washed everything in sight
dh is out enjoying his last windsurf for a while, and we are going out for a family dinner tonight

Im deffo gonna speak to midwife who books me in tomorrow, and maybe even a consultant if needs be.
I feel now that even if it is 9lbs then women have had bigger, and Im sure they'll know if Im not progressing and things go a bit wonky.

Hoping for a good sleep tonight, god knows I'll need it.

moss, dd was 10lb 11, and though I had 4 stitches, I didn't have any idea that I had a tear at the time, and healed fine. This time round I looked the size of a house, and everyone (including my consultant) expected an even bigger baby - ds was 9lb 2, so small for me, came flying out, had one stitch and felt as well as could be. They were also both fab feeders and incredibly cuddly...

hi mosss = best advice I can give you is relax - fear is unhelpful in the birth process as it diverts energy away from the birthing muscles.

My DS was measured in utero at 20w with a head circumference above the 100th centile, mostly due to the front-to-back measurement. This was a bit of a concern but in the end (and I was induced too, DS was born at 40+16 when he finally agreed to exit the haven) I was fine, no tear, just a little graze. One of the reasons for that may have been that I was on my side for the whole of stage 2 labour - I had been left to myself (with DH) in the observation suite because I wasn't dilating fast enough (and then went v.v.fast) so was just lying on my side the whole time until I felt DS crowning and sent DH off to fetch a MW - DS was born 3 mins later. The MW who cleaned me up said that lyng on the side is the best way to avoid tearing (makes you wonder why they don't suggest it more then, doesn't it ) - and DS weighed 7lb 3oz, but still had a big bean-shaped head (and still does!)

HTH, and hope it all goes well for you tomorrow - remember, relaaaaaaaaxx!

thanks both are you both quite small nornally (I am normally 5'7, 8.5 stone and a size 8/10 ....but have put on a whopping 3.5 stone )
great reassurance though, have read loads that sometimes the bigger babies are easier to deliver. ds at 7.8 was deffo easier than smaller dd.

Having lots of good signs today, mad cleaning, dicky tummy, lots of trips to toilet, pains very low down.

Am looking forward to tomorrow whatever way it comes , its been a long wait

Please keep going with these postive stories, its helping me so much to read that so many of you have had large babies with no problems (or very few problems anyway)

mosschops- i could have written your e-mail last week- seriously. I was terrified- all the same feelings you had- honestly. I had put on 3 stone this pregnancy and I thought baby was a big one....however, she ended up being 7.5lbs and labour, although hard work was faster and SO much easier this time round. I didnt have time for pain relief and gas and air made me sick with DS1, so I just shouted alot, grunted and was on all fours. Had time in birthing pool before transition and it helped relax me. Also had a doula who was AMAZING.

All in all- I just wanted to say you will be FINE- I promise. Our bits are made to do this.....I couldn't believe I did it this time au naturelle (first time round- epidural/constant monitoring/third degree tear/8lb but big head) and ended up with a graze this time.

YOU CAN DO THIS AND YOU WILL BE BRILLIANT AND BRAVE.

Believe in yourself........keep us posted.

bn x

Good luck for tomorrow mosschops... My dd (first) was 9lb 12oz and it was absolutely fine - honestly. I am the world's biggest wuss when it comes to pain and was quite willing to take any and every pain relief I felt I needed but I didn't have anything (other than a TENS).

I'm nearly 37 weeks with dc2 and am measuring off the scale with this one. It is scary but he's got to come out some how and fretting about it isn't going to help.

I'm not really big either (about 5' 7" and a size 10-12 normally)

I wouldn't say Im small exactly but not big either - 5'6 and 10st before pg, put on 24lb but seemed to balloon in the last 2 weeks. Lost it all again qtuie fast, and ladybits went back to being as tight as before by the time I let DH near them again (some months! )

mosschops, I'm nearly the same size as you - 5'9", 8.5 stone size 8, and I managed to deliver a 10lb 4oz baby.

Needed forceps in the end, but honestly the process isn't as horrible when it's actually being done as it sounds when someone describes it iyswim. Even if you do need assistance, most people recover completely pretty quickly.

Good luck with the birth, remember to breathe deeply and try to relax.

Let us know your new baby's details when you're back on mumsnet!!

Well,I'm not tiny, and have good childbearing hips... but my mum was v small when she had us - 5 3 and size 8-10, and my sister was 9lb, I was 10lb and I was born at home...

if your baby really was too big i.e macrosmic you certainly wouldn't be advised to go post dates and would likely have a c-section. So I doubt baby is measuring very big.
I am sure you will be fine you have done this before and you can do it again
It is normal to feel apprehensive and scared as the birth draws near it is certainly not a reason to request a planned c-section as was suggested.
I wish you all the best.

Mosschops you sound calmer today, I will be thinking of you tomorrow, hopefully you'll be snuggling into a gorgeous little (not too big in any way) newborn very soon!

mosschops, I'm quite tall (5'10'') so the weights of my babies were fine for that height (all between 8lb4 and 8lb 15). However, all my babies had head circumferences over the 95th centile. DD3 (who was my induced-with-synto, fucking-fantastic birth) had a head circumference on the 99th centile. And I had 2 stitches, only because the scar tissue from DD2's forceps delivery would not stretch.

You'll be fine, no-one knows how big your baby's going to be really. The obs who delivered DD2 was surprised that she wasn't bigger, though she was my 8lb 15 one! I look forward to hearing your birth story

Mosschops - I don't have anything to add to the brilliant advice on this thread, but just wanted to send you lots of positive vibes for a calm and easy labour. You'll be magnificent, I am sure of it .

mosschops I'm a midwife and unless your midwife is also a very good ultrasonographer and has scanned you then take anything she says about size of head as an estimate. May well be very inaccurate.

I too had a small dd then a larger ds and am even bigger this time. As I have had two easy births & am not desperately worried about this one, although am only 32 weeks and that may change if it looks like it will be a really big baby.

Your baby is probably not that much bigger than your second one if you have not even been referred to a consultant. Even if it is 9lb you will probably be fine, lots of women who have had normal births before have large babies without any problems.

Hope you have a really good birth and are able to get some reassurance before it all happens.

is moss being induced today?
good luck

I am totally with you. I had a horrendous drug free first birth that left me traumatised. have spent the last 9 months terrified of birth and now it is around the corner and it is scaring me stiff. I am petrified and everytime i try to visualise a positive scenario it all goes wrong and i end up in tears. I don't have any advice, just wanted to let you know you are not alone x

honey you are not pathetic at all.I am having my first soon and even after so may years of terrible attempts,surgeries etc that one would thought they made me stronger Iam still feeling not ready for birth.Sometimes I even thought my miscariages were caused by this terrible fear I have for childbirth .Still you have managed to come so far and you will manage to go through it as so many other women had.Make sure you get all your options on medication and pain relief and try to forget all you know/heard about Medical profession.At least that's what I try to do,staying sort of "ignorant" as to what excactly happens at birth.This will help you to remain calm and not expose you to extra anxiety occuring from the details you get while reading everyones experiences.
when are you due?

I have many of the same worries as you, esp as i'm opting for a homebirth. i know as you're being induced soon it might not be the right time but i have found reading books on natural childbirth very empowering and reassuring about what our bodies are capable of. Try 'Ina May's Guide to Childbirth', it's made me feel 100x better about giving birth to dc2 in 8 weeks time.