Crowning: To feel the head or not to feel the head..?

[blinder]

My hypnobirthing teacher said I should use a mirror to watch my baby's head being born, and that I should reach down to feel it emerging.

The prospect of this really gives me the willies.

Did you feel / see the head? How did it affect you?

I felt I had to when DD was born, and then I was so disappointed, because it had felt like her head was HUGE and nearly out, and then when I touched it, it was small and not nearly out at all. It really disheartened me.

Consequently when the midwife asked in DS's birth if I'd like to touch the head, I gave such an emphatic "NO!" that I think she was a bit surprised.

ds2 was a vbac and like lulu maman i felt euphoric and i also knew then i had escaped surgery. for me it was a wonderful moment to touch baby for 1st time when he was coming out. each to their own though and i can see why it may be too much information for a lot of people. don't think i could be bothered or inclined to worry with mirrors, needed all my focus for other more important stuff .

They asked me if I wanted to do it and I said Nooo thankyou.

This was never even mentioned to me! No-one at any stage said anything about looking or touching! I wonder why?
I wondered halfway down this thread if I'd feel all emotional and cheated cos I didn't see/feel DD coming out...but I don't
And like others, I couldn't possibly have let go of whatever I was gripping at that moment anyway! Plus it was practically pitch dark in the birthing pool room!

I did with DD. The midwife plonked my hand on her head without asking.

I have to say it upset me a bit and I started crying for the first time during that labour because I was worried she was not ok as the head felt so wierd.
it was also very strange that she was in this limbo, not born but half out and that slightly freaked me out.

Needless to say I didn't do it again with DS as he was being dragged out by enormous deep forceps in theatre...

My friend watched herself give birth in a mirror and also saw herself tear in 2 directions.
She said it looked like wiggly lightning bolts, really fast and not what she had expected at all.

I didn't with DS1, but I had a bad tear and the whole second stage was pretty traumatic.
I was determind not to tear with my second birth and I read in a few books that feeling the head on crowning often helps prevent tearing, so I wanted to give it a try.
When DS2 was crowning I did reach down to feel his head and it was quite strange but also quite emotional. I didn't tear at all either and I think it helped me to focus and slow things down, so for me it was a good experience...

That part of the birth makes me remember it in great detail the OMG THAT BURNS as baby is crowning, I touched and looked at DS2's head and the feeling of hime just sliding out and feeling his limbs and bits of his body just slide all out as the burning stops I had no pain relief at the end although gas and air through out (Horrible birth with DS1 ending in spinal, forceps 3rd degree tear)I actually look bak on it with great fondness and I am so glad I had the oppurtunity. But then I find that kind of thing fascinating and am not at all put off by blood and stuff find it amazingly fascinating

With DS1 I had to touch his head as DH and the MW were examining it (DH in a mixture of horror and fascination I think - he stayed at the head end for the other 2 DC!) so I wanted part of it too, so glad I did as I felt like the first to touch my new baby .

With DS2 I asked for a mirror and watched him crown (it did distract from the stinging pain too) and then the MW showed me again when just his head was out. That was very bizare but also fantastic and I would do it again.

DD was in too much distress for faffing around but she arrived safely and it didn't seem important that I didn't see/touch her head crowning or that others touched her first.

Good luck BTW and I also think your hypnobirthing teacher was out of order for calling you a coward - how you want to give birth is a very very personal thing!

Before my first I thought I'd really like to look as the whole thing is pretty fascinating. But when the time actually came it feels like you're doing a terrible poo which is going to do terrible damage and like an injection it's best not looking at the needle going in (don't want to scare you, I didn't do any damage by the way). It's over very quickly but it was easier to deal with the pain by dissociating myself with my lower end briefly. Ignore the woman!..every woman's labour is unique.

I think it was happening just too fast for me to be faffing about with a mirror. I think I might have put it in my birth plan but I don't think there was time.

I think each time I was at the pushing stage for quite a short, though outstandingly painful , time-about 4 minutes total-so I don't think there was really time to be looking at things in mirrors.

Also-just saying-I remember talking to a doula who was very into hypobirthing and labyrinths and how we'd draw the labyrinth because that would help me get in touch with the waves and ebbs and suchlike of the pain. And there was some talk of cresting waves.

She hadn't ever given birth

I was too busy screaming 'omg get it out of me', tearing and reversing up the bed to watch with a mirror

Yes I seemed to spend a lot of time in labour with dd2 shouting "I want to go HOME"

dp had to break it to me repeatedly that I was at home already.

For my DS the midwife just took my hand and put it on his emerging head. I have to say that it totally freaked me out. I mean, I was already freaking out and this seemed absolutely unnecessary!
No one proposed it during DD's birth and I didn't feel any inclination to do it.
I think go with the flow!

I was asked if I wanted to feel ds's head, I said no but the MWs put my hand on it anyway. Generally I think I was too busy at that point to get anything out of it. I don't think my MWs were at all interested in what I wanted. The delivery was all as they wanted it. Home birth this time.

fillyjonk

i didnt really want to feel dd's head i was in birthing pool and i just wanted her to come out but the mw kept saying "go on" so i did and told her it felt like a wet mouse!! I was gone of gas and air.