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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Crowning: To feel the head or not to feel the head..?

67 replies

blinder · 31/08/2009 17:58

My hypnobirthing teacher said I should use a mirror to watch my baby's head being born, and that I should reach down to feel it emerging.

The prospect of this really gives me the willies.

Did you feel / see the head? How did it affect you?

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TheProvincialLady · 01/09/2009 15:50

Blimey, some Hypnobirthing tutor?

There was no time with DS2 as it all happened so quick, but TBH it was the last thing on my mind anyway. I figure that if God/nature had intended us to see and feel what was going on down there at the time of crowning, He would not have invented agony.

madeupsurname · 01/09/2009 15:53

I felt DD's head - it was a huge relief actually, as I had been pushing for ages and did not think I would ever get her out. So once I could feel her head I knew it was almost over.

I didn't find crowing too bad - but had really struggled with the rest of the pushing stage, so was a bit out of it.

I would NOT have wanted to look in a mirror at all!

ib · 01/09/2009 16:00

I felt it, but didn't look at it (was in the water).

And now to make all you squeamish types really shudder...I had dh feel it too

LuluMaman · 01/09/2009 16:04

i felt DDs head as she crowned, i am delighted that i did, i was having a VBAC and the moment i felt the top of her head, i had the most amazing feeling of elation and relief that no-one was going to run in and whip me off for a section. I also had a good look at her, as did DH, not sure if he touched her head or not.

it was a momentous feeling after a c.s first time, to be so invovled and hands on in her birth, that i was able to touch her and see her emerge

but that is my personal feeling

i have a friend who refused to look at /touch any of her babies as they were crowing and is a tad regretful now

i would say, don't make any definite plans, see how you feel, but don't feel obliged, just beacuse your teacher said you ought to

if you do wnat to watch her, take your own mirror or check with labour ward, the one i am involved at does not have a mirror.

LuluMaman · 01/09/2009 16:06

your hypnobirthing teacher should not be calling you a coward, or any other negative term

am very sorry to hear that

she should be giving unequivocal support to you at this stage

AnathemaDevice · 01/09/2009 18:54

I felt DS's head, and I'm glad I did because up until that point I still wasn't entirely convinced that I was actually having a baby. (I was 2 weeks late, I thought by that point I was imagining it, and had just eaten too many pies)
Don't think I would have looked though, I'm still traumatised by looking at my healing episiotomy a week afterwards...

Original poster

blinder · 01/09/2009 22:34

Really interesting responses. Ranging from the horrific to the miraculous, via the didn't-matter-either-way. I'm reassured by the posters who didn't like it, and intrigued by those who did.

Yes I was shocked at the Hypnobirthing teacher - she said it so quickly and in such a dismissive way that I was momentarily too stumped to say anything. Given that I also had PTSD from my first birth, she was very dim to say such a thing. Quite unfortunate as it happened on the last session and has made me lose a bit of faith in her tbh.

Still - I wonder if there is a difference between feeling the head and seeing the head. I can imagine that it is quite a relief (or elation as Lulumaman says) to feel that the end is near and that all is well.

I'd love to have the kind of birth that I can say was a beautiful experience, especially after my previous.

I shall have to take every wave as it comes - and I'm due in a few days so will let y'all know what I did...

OP posts:

weblette · 02/09/2009 00:19

Waaaaaaay too far gone with all of them - including non-med home births - to either see or feel the head. I am completely off mine by that stage obviously....

IMHO your teacher needs a slap - non-judgemental of course.. but what a stupid judgey thing to say

Good luck!

rachels103 · 02/09/2009 08:09

I felt ds2s head - couldn't have managed positioning a mirror at that point I don't think - and it gave me the motivation to do the last bit - not weird at all, actually quite amazing. But I hadn't planned to...you need to go with how you feel at the time, otherwise you'll be disappointed in yourself if it doesn't exactly go to plan.

TheProvincialLady · 02/09/2009 09:59

Blinder, if it's any consolation I did a sort of hypnobirthing with DS2 and I had him at home, with no pain relief (wasn't painful until crowning, which did - erm - smart a bit!) and in 5 hours from start to finish. Whereas with DS1 it dragged on for days and was horrific and extremely traumatic. So there is no reason you shouldn't have the same experience and hopefully without even the crowning pain

Original poster

blinder · 02/09/2009 15:54

ProvincialLady that's such a lovely post. Thank you!

OP posts:

thesecondcoming · 02/09/2009 16:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AngryWasp · 02/09/2009 16:07

Ah, don't worry too much about the crowning. It stings A LOT and that is often why the mws try to distract you with other things and encourage you to believe it is nearly over.

IMO crowing feels like the biggest unbelieveable intense burning itch, and pushing against it feels like scratching it with a big metal claw. VERY satisfying and almost delightful pain iyswim.

BintOfBohemia · 02/09/2009 16:08

DS1 was out before the mirror arrived and I was very pleased about it too, I don't think I was in the right state of mind to be watching.

DS2, I did feel his head, it was odd, but quite reassuring. Again though, I was in labour land and not really in reality. Was totally focussed on getting him out.

Did hypnobirthing too, loved it.

MrsEricBana · 02/09/2009 16:14

I did feel ds's head (at MW suggestion) and have to say it was amazing to feel top of his damp little head finally after so many hours in labour BUT 100% no way would I have wanted to have seen anything down there! Didn't feel with dd and don't feel I missed out. Don't do it if you don't want to but I'd give feeling a quick go if you feel a bit squeamish and seeing would be too much.

spiderlight · 02/09/2009 16:14

I was asked if I wanted to feel the head and have always felt horribly guilty that my response was an emphatic 'No!' I knew it would freak me out and I didn't want anything to break my focus at that moment. It's a relief to know I'm not alone in this because I was afraid the midwives would think I was horrible. Silly, really - the whole point of my home birth was to do it my way!

cookiemonstress · 02/09/2009 18:47

I was asked first time, declined the second. Tbh, I was so focussed on getting them out and pushing through the pain that i didn't want the distraction. It felt numb and did not add anything to the experience for me at least, it was a bit like touching the side of your cheek after you've had a filling but much slimier. I didn't want anyone to be looking down there tbh, much least me.

Mamulik · 02/09/2009 18:56

sounds a bit crazy, no I never looked or touched and have no regrets.

IdrisTheDragon · 02/09/2009 18:59

Didn't in any way with DS (but seeing as he was a forceps delivery there wouldn't have been much chance even if I had wanted to).

With DD I was just amazed by the feeling of her head crowning and focusing on getting her out. Didn't enter my mind to touch her head and don't feel I lost out by not doing it.

oneopinionatedmother · 02/09/2009 19:17

my first shot out so no chance really. The second crowned briefly..i looked but what i saw didn't make sense to me, couldn't tell what was baby and what was gunk.
i suppose i could have put an investigatory hand down but i was too hanging on to my husbands neck (and squeezing real hard!)

hannahsaunt · 02/09/2009 19:28

I had other things to think about then and would have killed anyone who tried to make helpful suggestions especially if it involved me doing something over and above what I was doing already.

DawnAS · 02/09/2009 19:33

Hmmm, I only had my first baby 12 weeks ago and didn't get the option - besides, I'm not sure I'd have felt much with the ventouse cap on my LO's head!! But I'm sure I would have refused if the birth had been normal anyway as I didn't even want DH to see it, let alone me seeing her coming out of me!!

Sallyallyally · 02/09/2009 19:38

With my DD (natural drug free birth), I was less concerned about seeing her head and more concerned about finding a large hammer to bang myself on my own head with. With DS, a very quick birth with an epidural in (virtually from conception to make sure i was in time) I was an interested party and enjoyed feeling the head coming etc etc. Purely personal and a decision to be made at the time. If you might want to look have a mirror handy..you don't have to use it and will be no doubt reasonably verbal in telling all around you to sod off if you've changed your mind!

Cosmogirl · 02/09/2009 19:39

Yeah I'd give it a feel! Had a waterbirth for DD and midwife asked me to feel it - didn't think I had a choice so just stuck my hand down there and exclaimed that it felt 'very slimey!' In hindsight I am glad I did it and don't think it had a negative effect but I guess it depends if you are a squeamish sort of person or not perhaps...

RhinestoneCowgirl · 02/09/2009 19:41

Two homebirths, and no mirrors or head-touching. No-one suggested it and I was concentrating on moo-ing! With DS (first) was pushing for about 90 mins and was too knackered to think about feeling for the head, also had my arms wrapped round DH's neck. With DD, I was so focussed on not pushing too soon that I sort of crowned without realising, so no time.

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