DH or DP's Guide to Birth: What to do and What Not to do

[alexpolismum]

I thought it would be interesting to have a thread for all our dhs/dps to give them some advice on dos and don'ts!

I'll go first:

Do bring your dw chocolate/water/whatever she is screaming at you for, without asking her if she should really have that at this time

Don't (REALLY, DON'T) say "It can't hurt that much, women have children every day!" And if you are tempted to say this, don't be surprised if she punches you on the nose

Do not reply "no you don't" when your DW tells you "I want to push". She knows. You don't.

Do not announce "oh it's a girl" with the biggest disappointed tone of voice, as she will resent you for a loooong time for it afterwards. DW wants to see this face: , not this one .

Do not try to take picture mid-contraction and say "come on, smile!!". Result on picture will not be pretty. AT all.

Tell your DW how fantastically well she's doing. It helps, I promise

Don't keep responding to txt msgs from friends asking for updates while your wife is in labour. Turn the bloody phone off - now!

Tell your wife how proud you are of her, how beautiful she is and that it's all going to be okay.

my dh was my rock. couldnt have done i without him.

my advice to other dh's...

stay away from the 'business end'

do not be shocked, suprised or even do this if (or when!) you see dw poo, wee, bleed, vomit, swear, head spins around etc...

make sure you know where things are in the hospital bag.

unlike the mw you are not allowed a tea break.

dont feel rejected if she doesnt want to be touched.

know whats in the birth plan especially pain relief options.

learn how to use the tens machine beforehand.

practise using the carseat, straps and getting it in the car.

take a few photos after birth when its all calmed down.

I didn't know your DH got sent out if you needed a forceps/ventouse delivery - do all hospitals do that? Oh no, I don't want to be left all alone if that happens!

What NOT to do. Sit in the corner and read the newspaper and/or fall asleep while wife is labouring away. Still cross with my DH!