Absolutely terrified of giving birth naturally - how do I conquer this?

[mrsrawlinson]

OK, so I'm 11 weeks pregnant with DC3 and it's beginning to dawn on me that at some stage it's going to want to come out. All along I've been adamant that I wanted an elective CS rather than a VBAC. I've got a battery of reasons up my sleeve (not least that everyone I know who's had a natural birth has had a horrendous experience), and had myself thoroughly convinced that it was the right option for me. Anyway, last night I was reading an article in the NCT magazine that the midwife gave me about how to cope with the pain of childbirth, and I got really shaky, hot, palpitations and felt like I was going to pass out. It dawned on me that all these 'reasons' I'd come up with were actually just excuses to cover up the fact that my antipathy towards the prospect of a natural birth is bordering on a phobia. Now my dilemma is, do I give in to this fear and go with my instinct to accept the risks and just get an ECS, or do I try to get some kind of counselling to get over it? It's not that I see childbirth as some kind of essential female rite of passage or anything like that. I just don't particularly like to think that my irrational fears are controlling me. I KNOW that a natural birth is the best, safest option - how do I convince my daft brain that it's true? Even now, I'm nearly in tears just thinking about it!

I remember watching a documentary on birth & shaking with nerves in the early stages of my pregnancy. I decided that I didn't want to go into labour in that same state of fear. For me the root of the fear was the unknown/lack of control. This lead me to read about labour & birth to become more informed & choose an environment where I felt I would be most relaxed & in control - at home. Over the course of my pregnancy my feelings about birth altered enormously. I remember reading countless positive birth stories on home birth/waterbirth websites & felt that if so many other women could do this, so could I. I also read Ina May & heartily recommend it for the useful & detailed information it contains that come from a tremendously experienced/wise midwife.

Disclaimer: I love dresses & heels.(Too much, if anything) The context for the birth stories is a hippyish commune, I would not be comfortable with the whole of that culture but please don't throw the baby out with bathwater It is a fantastic book.

Fortunately I had a straightforward labour at home. Mentally, I felt prepared & was not scared. Labour itself was a bit challenging at transition but otherwise fine & I enjoyed (truly) the experience. I had gas & air & use of a tens machine as well as a birthing pool. All helps. To confront my initial fears & overcome them was empowering. I don't wish to push you towards the same but if the inclination is there I want to encourage you IYKWIM Whatever you choose to do: Congratulations on your pregnancy & good luck