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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

If you didn't feel the urge to push immediately on reaching 10cm during your first birth, what happened second time around?

37 replies

norktasticninja · 02/05/2009 08:06

There are 5 weeks to my EDD with DC2 and perversely (?) I'm rather looking forward to the birth, but this is still bothering me.

Last time the midwife did a VE, found me to be 10cm and made me push even though I didn't feel the urge. At that point DD was absolutely fine, no signs of distress at all and labour had gone excellently (if I do say so myself). Well, after about 45 minutes of pushing I did get the urge but DD started to show signs of distress and I hadn't manged to get her round the bend, so we were transferred to hospital for a ventouse delivery. DD was in a pretty bad state at birth (meconium and not breathing). I guess I'll never know what went wrong or if she'd have been in in that state anyway, but as I siad there were no indications that anything was wrong when I was first made to push.

I think a more experienced midwife (this one was newly qualified and they work alone here) would have give me a little time to see if the urge to push came. I suspect that if I hadn't been distressed by being made to push too soon I might have felt the urge sooner. But, the fact remains that I didn't need to push at 10cm.

Has anyone else had a delay in the need to push first time round? Can you tell me what happened second time around?

I'm off for a driving lesson now, but I'll be back ASAP...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

EldonAve · 02/05/2009 08:44

I thought getting a 'rest and be thankful' bit when you are fully dilated but don't want to push was quite normal

merryberry · 02/05/2009 09:06

i had rest and be thankful 1st time, i did (napped for 30 mins apparently) and was.

2nd time, i went straight from contractions to transition panic 'i've got cramp in my leg, WAIL, cramp in my leg, WAIL, HELP' and then directly to flipping over like a gymnast as the baby dropped down fast and I was pushing.

merryberry · 02/05/2009 09:11

ooh look i found this, any use to you?

The fight or flight hormones- also called catecholamines (pronounced cat-e-kol-a-meens), or CAs- can interfere with oxytocin release during labour and after the birth. However they do have an important role to play in the second stage of labour, which is when birth actually occurs. Early in second stage, when the cervix is fully open but the urge to push is not yet strong, a woman can feel the need to rest for some time. This is known as ?transition?- or the ?rest and be thankful? time. After this, she may quite suddenly experience the dry mouth, dilated pupils and sudden burst of energy that are all characteristic of high levels of CAs. This burst of CA?s gives a mother the energy to push her baby out, and Michel Odent observes that, when unmedicated, women usually want to be upright at this time. Some traditional cultures have used this fight-or-flight effect to help women having difficulty with the delivery by surprising or shouting out at this stage. It makes sense, at this point-of-no-return, for fear or danger to speed up the birth, so that a mother can gather up her newborn baby and run for safety.

merryberry · 02/05/2009 09:13

though if anyone had shouted at me at this stage, i'd have probably punched them

lucykate · 02/05/2009 09:17

both times, i had a period of down time, i suppose is the best way of describing it, between being fully dilated and starting to push. the midwifes i had, were quite happy for me to wait until the urge came and i couldn't hold back. to me, it felt like my body knew what it was doing.

ps, second time round, ds was out in 3 pushes!

Original poster

norktasticninja · 02/05/2009 10:35

Thanks all, that's really helpful. Glad to hear it is known as a normal thing. I said as much to the midwife after the birth but she denied it (covering her back I think)

OP posts:

FreddoBaggyMac · 02/05/2009 11:00

I had no urge to push with my first and it took about an hour of hard work. However, with my second and third I felt the urge immediately and they both came out in less than five minutes!
My top tip is to remain upright if at all possible and let gravity be your guide!

memoo · 02/05/2009 14:35

I had no urge with first but when I had second the urge was so over whelming nothing could have stopped me from pushing. It only took 3 push's and ds was out

CapnScurvySeaWitch · 02/05/2009 14:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ShowOfHandsNoLongerKissesKunes · 02/05/2009 14:41

I had no urge on reaching 10cm, was whipped out of the pool and made to try pushing in every conceivable position. I pushed for 6 hours, tore a muscle, burst a few blood vessels, had not a single tiny urge to push and after a hospital transfer and a lot of intervention, I ended up with an em cs.

I now firmly believe that the lack of desire to push was a strong indication that I shouldn't have. I think I made a bad situation worse. DD went from stuck to completely and utterly stuck with a very bruised/torn head.

Good luck this time round.

yomellamoHelly · 02/05/2009 14:56

Pushed with first despite no urge and ended up with 20-odd stitches and 1 hour 10 second stage. With ds2 and dd ignored the "you can push now" (had a 45 minute sleep with ds2) and came away unscathed with very short 2nd stages (22 mins and 4 mins).

Original poster

norktasticninja · 02/05/2009 17:50

Thank you all for sharing your experiences, it's really helped.

I've always wondered if changing position would of helped (was stuck on a birthing stool), it doesn't sound like it would of if your experience is anything to go by ShowOfHands.

I'll definitely not be pushing without the urge again!

OP posts:

SlightlyMadSwineFlu · 02/05/2009 17:54

Not quite the same - but I had the urge (although I wouldn't say a compelling uncontrollable urge) once I got to 10cm with DD3 BUT she was still very high so the MWs wouldn't allow me to push for another hour. So IME - just because you are at 10cm doesn't mean you have to push IYSWIM

DisasterArea · 02/05/2009 17:58

NICE intrapartum guidelines state that if a woman reaches 10 cm and feels no urge to push she should be left for 1 hour then reassessed.
pushing before your body feels it is ready will just make you really tired and is unneccessary.

neolara · 02/05/2009 19:01

Very interested to read the NICE guidelines.

I had no urge to push at all with my first but was encouraged to do so anyway. Not sure how long I'd been at 10 cm though as only saw a midwife for first time when fully dilated. Took an hour and half to get her out.

Second dc, felt strong urge to push and ds came out in 5 mins flat.

Bloody hell Showofhands - 6 hours of pushing! You deserve a medal.

ShowOfHandsNoLongerKissesKunes · 02/05/2009 19:36

ninja, I don't know there's a couple of positions I didn't try like swinging upside down on a chandelier or hanging headfirst out of the bathroom window. But squatting, kneeling, all 4s, standing, leaning, on back, on side, legs up, legs down, legs by my ears, in a heap on the floor, sobbing on the toilet, I tried the rest and then some, even strapped down in the ambulance last ditch effort pushing. DD was as stuck as a child could be. Ventouse didn't shift her and the dishy surgeon couldn't push her back up from whence she came to rotate her. The cs involved A LOT of tugging too. I firmly believe that the pushing did a lot of unnecessary damage and just pushed her further into an irrevocable position.

I do deserve a medal neolara. You're right. A big feck off chocolate one. I shall text dh forthwith.

MayorNaze · 02/05/2009 19:56

OMG.

i had no idea that it was normal not to want to push.

i had a couple of urges but then nothing and the contractions seemed to have stopped as well.

but i was petrified of them "doing" anything to me so i didn't say anything but pushed and pushed like a maniac, after an hour they put me up in stirrups and 10 minutes later dd was born, i swear they frightened her out of me!

she was born with her hand by her face which i only found out later can hinder the pushing???

i love mumsnet

thisisyesterday · 02/05/2009 19:59

my advice would be refuse VE's and push when you feel ready!
I had a homebirth with ds2 and had a VE when the first mw arrived to see how I was progressing. that is the one and only VE I had during the entire labour. they sat back and let me do things in my own time.
the midwife actually knew I was ready to push from the noises I was making and stuff anyway and was happy for me to just go ahead and do it

sarahken · 02/05/2009 20:17

With my ds I was told by the consultant to start pushing as I was 10cm even though I had no urge at all to push. After an hour they re-examined me and said I was only 8cm. They said I must not have been properly 10cm and because I had pushed it had some how become swollen and I would have to wait for it to go back to 10cm (after 18 hours that was they last thing I wnated to hear!). They were talking in the corner of the room about repturing the uterus and so it was decided an emergnecy c-section would be best. I'd had an epidural to lower my blood pressure but could feel all contractions, but they wouldnt beleive me when I said I didnt want to push. This time I will definately not be pushing until I feel the urge.
Sarah (38 weeks)

foxinsocks · 02/05/2009 20:20

I had no urge to push the first time. Second time round, I had a huge urge and ds came out in 2 pushes!

I guess you never know what's coming!

Paolosgirl · 02/05/2009 20:33

No urge to push first time round. 2nd time round DD was born in three pushes, and 3rd time was about 4 pushes. Both very strong urges to push.

OrmIrian · 02/05/2009 20:35

Second time it was overwhelming. But I had had no pethedine which makes a difference. Third time I had no urge - but DS#2 was another monster baby like DS#1. I often wonder if it was self-preservation

Cathpot · 02/05/2009 20:47

For DD1 my body started pushing by itself, and I sort of joined in. I have no idea where this was in relation to dilation as I wasnt checked at any point.

Basically I felt the urge to go to the loo and when on the loo felt my stomach contract in pushing waves and said to the midwife 'I think I'm pushing' and she said 'I think you are too'. Got me off the loo (at home) and got on all fours and then just joined in with the contractions. Midwife just said 'you can push anytime, or wait for the contractions'. I had no idea this wasnt a standard experience until I talked to other mums afterwards and many said they had been told to push even when they didnt feel like it.

I think that must be very hard and I belatedly realised how lucky I had been. In fact a year later I wrote to the midwife to thank her for helping me have such a good birth, I didnt appreciate it until I had spent a long time talking to other mums.

Second time round I dont remember pushing at all, I felt DD2 move into my pelvis and then she was out! Came out so fast she snapped the cord.

I am sure your second birth will be a much more positive experience because you sound much more confident about speaking your mind about what you want.

Ebb · 03/05/2009 20:51

This thread is really interesting. I had no urge to push at all and ended up pushing for 4hrs20 before having an episotomy and Ds popped out. I think the mw started me pushing early as I'd got to a stage where I wanted an epidural. In hindsight I think I was just going through the transitional phase.

I'm pleased to read similar experiences with first births then definate pushing for second deliveries.

conkertree · 05/05/2009 17:04

another with no urge to push ds1 out but couldnt stop myself pushing with ds2 - mw was out of room and had told me i was nearly 10cm but there was a lip so not to push until it went.

when the urge to push came though i couldnt not push - 6 or 7 pushes with ds2 as opposed to 3 hours with ds1. interesting how many similar stories there are.

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