If you didn't feel the urge to push immediately on reaching 10cm during your first birth, what happened second time around?

[norktasticninja]

There are 5 weeks to my EDD with DC2 and perversely (?) I'm rather looking forward to the birth, but this is still bothering me.

Last time the midwife did a VE, found me to be 10cm and made me push even though I didn't feel the urge. At that point DD was absolutely fine, no signs of distress at all and labour had gone excellently (if I do say so myself). Well, after about 45 minutes of pushing I did get the urge but DD started to show signs of distress and I hadn't manged to get her round the bend, so we were transferred to hospital for a ventouse delivery. DD was in a pretty bad state at birth (meconium and not breathing). I guess I'll never know what went wrong or if she'd have been in in that state anyway, but as I siad there were no indications that anything was wrong when I was first made to push.

I think a more experienced midwife (this one was newly qualified and they work alone here) would have give me a little time to see if the urge to push came. I suspect that if I hadn't been distressed by being made to push too soon I might have felt the urge sooner. But, the fact remains that I didn't need to push at 10cm.

Has anyone else had a delay in the need to push first time round? Can you tell me what happened second time around?

I'm off for a driving lesson now, but I'll be back ASAP...

The urge to push is called Ferguson's reflex. If you reach fully dilated, and don't experience this urge, it is usually because the baby's head hasn't descended far enough down the birth canal for you to feel this reflex.

Unless there are signs of fetal compromise, there is absolutely no reason to push just because the cervix is fully dilated, and to do so is often counter productive as it can lead to an exhausted mother and a compromised baby (fetal distress). Delayed descent of the baby may be a warning sign, which your midwife will be looking for and assessing, but usually is just a normal stage of labour - especially a first labour.

The body will move the baby down the birth canal in its own good time, usually within an hour or so of full dilation. It is best to use this time to gather your energy in readiness for the next stage of hard work. If descent is delayed, changing position can help, as can pelvic rocking.

It is really sad that women are still being pressured into pushing prematurely. Listen to your body, it generally knows best.

And good luck .

This thread is definately encouraging. I'm booked in for a c-sect on the 19th, but still debating a vbac, but was worried I would go through 18 hours of labour again, only to have no urge to push and end up with a c-sect. Think I will try for a vbac and stick to my guns about pushing when I want to push. I never knew so many people experienced this, and just assumed you pushed as soon as you got to 10cm whether you felt the urge or not. Now I know so many people have experienced the same it will give me the confidence to speak out if needed.

I love mumsnet too, because this experience of having no urge to push right up until my child was born has plagued my mind for a couple of years. My dd was born two years ago. The midwives did not encourage me to push but kept listening to my dd's heart beat inside me. They showed me using a mirror the hair of my dd as she sat there with no contractions. I did get a few now again over the hour of stage two labour. I was in a pool for this time. Until they said the baby was getting tired and I needed to get her out. I think they were a little surprised and confused at my lack of urge to push and at one point whispered I had a fear of pushing.... Anyway I they suggested I get out of the pull and the second I did this a contraction came which was exciting but then none as I sat there crouching so I decided that my ring of fire has gone on too much and I wanted it over so I in two pushes she shot out like a rocket. I could feel myself splitting but I just kept on pushing as contractions were now rare. I heard that in Australia that they don't put women in the pool after transition because it can stop the contractions. After reading your posts I am now grateful that my midwives did not ask me to push but frequently kept a check on my dd heart beat. Thank you everyone for sharing. Mystery solved two years on.

P.s. my baby's hand was on her head as she was born

My first birth is a bit of a blur but I remember not being told to try pushing until the urge to push was there.

With my second I remember more clearly. I got to 10cm quickly and thought I'd then just push and she'd be out but the midwife left me ages and didn't tell me to get on the bed and start pushing, she just left me and kept going in and out the room which at the time I thought was weird but now I know she as waiting until I had the urge to push which seemed to be ages after reaching 10cm.
But both times I didn't push until the urge kicked in

First birth, I had no urge to push at all. I had an epidural and always thought that was why, but I'm probably wrong. I was also very self conscious throughout the whole labour, didn't want to make noise or pull odd faces !

Second birth, urge to push was overwhelming, and I needed to push during transition, at about 8cm. He came out very quickly.

First birth I had no urge to push and I don't think the hospital environment helped. Contractions stalled at crucial time. Second time...I felt everything much more and knew what to do. I felt the urge but I was in a midwife unit and I felt much more relaxed.

This is exactly what happened to me. Midwife said I was ready to push but I didn't feel the urge. I pushed but it was really unproductive and didn't get me anywhere, and I just exhausted myself unnecessarily. After about an hour of this DD's heart rate started to drop so they prepared for ventouse. By this time I was feeling the urge but was too tired to do much. They used ventouse but didn't have to apply much force as she had started to come out by then.

Hoping not to repeat the experience this time round and will listen to my body and instincts rather than the midwife.

Oh and my pushing stage ended up being nearly 2 1/2 hours overall and I had a second degree tear.

I didn't have the urge to push first time and ended up with a ventouse and 3rd degree tear. It had been a very long labour. Second and third births were much more textbook and I did have the urge to push and no intervention.

First baby - pooed inside me, waters gone, induced, her heart rate dropped, my feet in stirrups, midwife shouting at me to push, they gave me a time limit and successful ventouse delivery. Second baby - advised not to come in as my waters hadn't broken, i hadnt had a show and my contractions were too far apart. Decided I would go in once my parents arrived to look after dc1. When they arrived so did the show /waters. Called the ward as thought they could talk us thru a home birth. Advised t call ambulance. Got in ambulance against better judgement. Baby practically fell out of me in a moving vehicle. I finally realised what the urge to push was like. Also that there is a reason humans dont usually give birth travelling at speed round roundabouts. Still a nicer birth than the first.

First baby, no urge to push. By then, the midwife had flipped me over onto my back, a fact which still fucks me off six years later (and I suspect always will do) although I'd been labouring brilliantly until then (arrived at hospital 8 cm dilated, was v happy labouring upright leaning on bed headboard). Did push her out eventually but took an hour and a half, had burst blood vessels all round my eyes and lost my voice for two days from yelling. Also bloody hated it. And a second degree tear.

For my second I did Daisy Birthing classes and laboured at home in the pool. Amazing experience :) I recognised I was going through transition but one of my symptoms (if that's the right word) was that I became deeply paranoid and thought the mw wouldn't believe me. Still didn't have what I would describe as an urge to push but did decide to try bearing down experimentally (upright in pool) just to see what would happen and could immediately feel his head right there, just inside. Second stage was recorded as 4 minutes but was actually longer - breathed his head out v slowly using the breathing I'd learned in class, then my cx stopped for a bit (!) then when they started again I did one big push to get the rest of him out, and that's what they counted as my second stage. No tears or trauma, brilliantly positive experience.