4 years on...

[OracleInaCoracle]

ds was 4 yesterday. unfortunately i had my smear too. i was lying on the couch and i had a flashback to the day he was born. started panicking and the nurse had to stop. he was born by crash cs after several failed induction attempts. is this normal? i have suffered pnd since he was born but im much, much better now!

Have you got a local Birth Afterthoughts service, or similar? Ask local maternity unit. They offer the opportunity to discuss traumatic births with mw/ dr etc, and it doesn't matter how long ago the birth was. Did anyone do a debrief with you after the birth, going through your notes etc?

Also, may be info here

Hi Lissie, Don't have any experience of this as such but a few years ago when I was at collage I did a piece on PND. Whilst carrying out my research I came across an article by the GMC about women who had traumatic labours suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome, the symptoms of this do include flashbacks.

Might be a good idea to have a chat with your GP

Lissie, after my DD's birth I had flashbacks and also what I have heard called "hot spots" which are particular memories that make you hot, your mouth goes dry and in my case you want to run! Eventually I filled out a research questionnaire on birth trauma and realised that how I had been feeling was completely valid, at which point I felt a lot better (and I had a good acupuncturist who listened to me rant).

If you do want to talk it through you could try contacting Birth Crisis. You'll see that on the website it says that many women need to talk about their birth months or years later, so clearly you are not alone.

The oddest things can make me flashback to labour. It's my dd's 2nd birthday coming up but it's also the anniversary of a lot of trauma. I can be in a queue in the post office and the way somebody laughs triggers a memory and the tears just start, I want to run away.

I'm sorry you feel this way. It's horrible.

Hello Lissie

I suffered with postnatal PTSD after first dd was born in 2001 - I had flashbacks just as you have described, I would guess that the smear acted as quite a potent trigger coupled with the anniversary reaction (ie. ds's birthday)
even now I shed a wee tear on that date but it has got so much easier. From my experience (professional now) I have learnt that quite often PND can be misdiagnosed when really a mum can be suffering with birth trauma/postnatal ptsd.
Please do as the other posters have suggested and speak with your GP - its not too late to have some help and treatment, usually talking therapies work wonders.
also refer to the Birth trauma association and MOthersvoice websites for specialist info and support xx

thank you. i went through my labour notes when ds was about 6m old, but tbh it didnt really give me many answers, we also lodged a complaint about my treatment with specific reference to the misplaced bladder and uterine group b strep that went unnoticed and raged for over a week. however, the response letter was dismissive to say the least and at the time i was recovering from a salpingectomy and laparotomy and very fragile. i have struggled with the after effects since and have only just come off ad's (again)

oh, and during the smear the nurse mentioned that my cervix was v tilted, another thing that should have been picked up on.

Hi Lissie

You're not alone. I had a traumatic forceps delivery and 2 years on I was at the dentist getting a big filling and I had a flashback. Think it was the fact that I was lying down, in pain, scared and not being told what was going on/was going to happen next. I think counselling could help you. Having read this thread I'm going to look at some of the suggested links. Getting a bit teary now just thinking about it - and it all happened 10 years ago

lissie,

we had a traumatic birth support thread going for a while. I'm not sure if it's still active. There are quite a few of us on MN with PN PTSD and it is an awful thing to experience. The flashbacks can certainly happen with situations like that.

I am much better after going through CBT. Have you looked at the birth trauma association website? Lots of really helpful information there.

thank you, its reassuring to know im not alone. i suppose it just took me totally by surprise. i thought that i had made my peace with the waythat ds was born. i accept that it was for the best and that the consequences of not having the cs would have been huge. but it really frightened me, especially with the mc's and ep since.

Ds1's birthday was very hard for me the first couple of years or so. I'm much better now but I'm sure there are still things that could trigger a flashback. AFAIK, cognitive behavior therapy is still the best thing but you might also look into http://emdr-therapy.com/ EMDR.

link

well, have spoken to my edt who suggested that i go back onto ad's. i am not happy about that at all, but needs must i suppose.