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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

How long did it take before you actually wanted another DC?

32 replies

babyignoramus · 26/04/2009 15:25

My DS is 8 weeks old. At the moment I can envisage having more children, but can't imagine ever wanting to go through another pregnancy/birth/newborn phase.

My pregnancy was tough at the end as I am very short (under 5 foot) and while DS wasn't that big, I was absolutely packed to the rafters and couldn't walk for the last couple of weeks due to my back seizing up completely. I can't imagine being able to cope with that with a toddler to look after as well!

I had an emergency caesarean and while that wasn't that traumatic I found the early stages when I was in agony absolutely awful - I was contracting every 3 mins with Cx that I couldn't talk through for about 7-8 hours before the hospital would admit me - and even then it was only because my waters broke with meconium in them. It made no sense to me that they could give me an epidural when only an hour before they had told me I could only have paracetemol and the pain was the same!

Dh's friend asked yesterday if we'd have any more and Dh answered yes without even hesitating - I said I wasn't sure. Dh was surprised and said that he thought I'd want more as I know what it's like to be an only child (I was 8 when my sis was born). But I'm not sure I can overcome my fear of being in agony in late pregnancy and having a difficult birth again.

That was rather long - honestly, how long did it take you to forget all that? I know it's early days and when the memories fade I'll probably feel different.

OP posts:

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Claire2009 · 26/04/2009 15:28

Erm...well. I had an easy-ish preg with dd, morning sickness (all day/night actually) for 4 months..followed by a difficult labour, failure to progress etc and an emerg c section in France..

But that didn't stop me from being preg with ds when she was 5 months old

I now have a 2yo & a 3yo, give it time tho!

A cs is a traumatic experience, any birth is and it does take time to get over it. Enjoy your baby for now!

MuffinBaker · 26/04/2009 15:29

I wasn't going to have any more and then DD was born when Ds was 2.4. I had another one when DD was 22 months old too.

MrsMattie · 26/04/2009 15:30

I had a traumatic labour and PND after the birth of my first child. before he was born I'd always envisaged having at least two children. After he was born, I wasn't so sure I wanted any more. For me, that changed after 2 years on the nose. That's when I started thinking about it seriously. Started ttc when DS was 2 yrs 4 mths. My second pregnancy was pretty rough, but the birth was much, much better and have had felt fabulous ever since (almost 6 months now).

twinsetandpearls · 26/04/2009 15:31

6 years and will probably never happen now

kidcreoleandthecoconuts · 26/04/2009 15:33

After I had DS I said I wouldn't have any more, I was so traumatised by the labour. I guess by the time he reached a year old I had decided I did want another one after all. I had DD when DS was 2.5.

CoteDAzur · 26/04/2009 15:49

It took me almost 3 years to imagine having a second baby.

Nemoandthefishes · 26/04/2009 15:51

With DS 10 mins after he was born I said I wanted another dd1 was born when he was 2.2yrs.
With DD1 I knew again straight away and dd2 was born 12mths later
With dd2 I didnt want anymore until she hit about 14mths and even then was umming and ahhing about it, I am due in 8wks with no.4 and dd2 will be 2.5yrs

Nemoandthefishes · 26/04/2009 15:53

meant to add they were all very straight forward labours and pregnancies were hard due to depression and also had spd.

Flightattendant25 · 26/04/2009 15:59

After ds1, about a year I suppose. It wasn't to be because of the bloke situation, but I was desperate and climbing the walls by the time he was 3 and didn't know what to do if I didn't get preggers. It was that bad

anyway this time, a glimmer of broodiness when he was about 6 months, which passed quickly, then when he was about 22 months I started to get seriously broody again...still am now, oh it's awful

Considering there is no boyfriend and I am crap with pregnancy, it's not looking likely either!

Flightattendant25 · 26/04/2009 16:00

I must add that after a 'natural' labour with ds2 I was absolutely terrified of ever going through that again...I didn't want to rule out more kids but honestly it was a big shock after my easy epidural based labour with ds1!! ('Oh that didn't hurt, let's do it again!' )

cyteen · 26/04/2009 16:04

Pregnancy and labour were both fine but at 8 weeks post-partum I couldn't envisage ever being able to go through all that newborn hard work again, despite always wanting more than one child. Am quite broody Would happily have another one now though (DS is 8 months).

memoo · 26/04/2009 16:05

Its taken me 8 years!

blueshoes · 26/04/2009 16:12

Crash cs, dd with health problems and difficult baby. No sleep for years. 2 years.

booyhoo · 26/04/2009 23:12

after ds1 i sort of felt broody again when he was about 8 months but i wasnt in a relationship at the time. am now 4 weeks from EDD of dc2 and ave sworn never again. there will be almost 4 years between them and i feel so old during this pregnancy (im not im 22!!!!) i cant imagine wanting to go throug this again but that might change.

MrsTittleMouse · 26/04/2009 23:18

I get a surge of broodiness at 4 months post-birth. I manage to squash it down though. I had a very traumatic time delivering DD1, and had counselling. When DD1 was a year old, I decided that I wasn't going to get pregnant with another as I was too old, so had another round of fertility treatment and immediately conceived DD2. I ended up with counselling through the pregnancy, and even so I was a bit of a basket case. I had a better experience with DD2 and feel quite healed from the horrible first birth. The memories didn't fade from DD1 (despite all the counselling) until I had DD2 in my arms. The counselling got me through it though. You might guess that I can recommend counselling.

Gunnerbean · 26/04/2009 23:39

9 years on and the feeling of wanting another child has never come over me. In fact the opposite happened to me (and this is absolutely no disrespct to my DS!)- the thought of having another child absolutely filled me with dread!

Linnet · 26/04/2009 23:44

dd1 was delivered after a very long traumatic labour and delivery and she was 3 years old before could even bring myself to think about having another child.
It then took me three years to talk dh into having another baby and dd2 was born when dd1 was 6 and a half. dd2's labour and delivery was a very straightforward easy natural delivery. Afterwards I felt like I had closure for the first difficult delivery.

shubiedoo · 26/04/2009 23:59

Took me nearly 3 years. I had ds2 when ds1 was nearly 4, he was a much easier baby, and now I have a sweet little dd exactly two years later!

EachPeachPearMum · 27/04/2009 00:02

3 years first time... 6 weeks this time!
terrible pg, cs birth... but ds is such an easier baby than dd... have had thoughts of more...
CANNOT do it, really can't!

muggglewump · 27/04/2009 00:17

Erm never. I have an only, and I'm happy with that, and most importantly, so is she.

phdlife · 27/04/2009 00:49

I had the urge when ds was 10 weeks old (I know, I know) but bfing stopped my periods so didn't think we could until ds was 19m and, well, it turned out I was already 18 weeks gone! Dd arrived the day before ds turned 2. She is now 15 days old and I've already caught myself thinking, "next time" - but this is clearly just a product of sleep-deprivation so not to be paid any attention to!

sparkle12mar08 · 27/04/2009 14:46

Like Nemo I knew within minutes each time that I would have another. In terms of being ready to try and concieve, I start feeling the desperate urge at around 12 months old. We went with it the first time round and have a classic two year gap. This time I'm having to manage my expectations and accept that it'll be at least a three year gap if not longer (DH doesn't want any more )

madrush · 27/04/2009 14:51

When DD was about a year old I started to see how I'd have the energy to go through the baby stage again. Wasn't really recovery from birth/forgetting the pain for me, just thinking that I could go back to those early days of no sleep.

IheartNY · 27/04/2009 14:53

I was terrified at the thought of another baby for about a year after DS1 was born.
After that I gradually got more broody, got pg when he was 18 months and had DS2 when DS1 was 2.4years

stealthsquiggle · 27/04/2009 14:59

well, we have a 4 year gap and we weren't TTC for long the second time around - so I guess about 3 years, then

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