First time home birthers and their support squad

[jollyjoanne]

Not a homebirther personally but wanting to offer support to Boobz and others who are going for a home birth . . .

My birth pool arrived today!

All seems more real now!

May I join too? Due in 3 weeks, and am now sitting at home waiting for the MW to deliver the HB kit!! Yay!

ARRIVED:
Girlwiththemouseyhair 31 OCT, BOY, Ethan Christopher. Wonderful homebirth.
Tupperwife 3 FEB, BOY Samuel James. Good hospital delivery as had to transfer due to snow.
Givethedogahomebirth 10 FEB, GIRL Isla Rose.
Helley 12 FEB, GIRL Evelyn Grace.
Laumiere 21 FEB, BOY Gabriel William Thomas Robson. Hospital delivery; had to transfer due to midwives.
Twocutedarlings 28 FEB, BOY Alex.
Captain karvol 7 MARCH, GIRL , 7lb 12oz. Home water birth - drug free with lots of shouting!
Thefearlessfreak 14 MARCH, BOY Patrick. Transfer to hospital due to Meconium.
Boobz 22 MARCH, GIRL Penelope Lucy Reed. Home water birth with very long latent phase!

DUE:
titmouse Due 26 MARCH. First DC. Oxford.
Juwesm Due 1st APRIL. Planning 1st home water birth, Kent.
CEB80 Due 23 APRIL. Planning 1st home water birth.
Gemzooks Due 29 MARCH. Planning first home birth with pool. Live in Holland, 1 DS already (2.5).
Soundbites Due 9 APRIL, DC2.
Gingersarah Due 18 APRIL. Hoping for HB. Live Norbury, London.
KittyCat Due 19 April. Gunning for a HB! Surrey.
Overtiredmum Due 5 May. Hoping for HB. 1 DS already (June 05).
Belgianchocolates Due 6 MAY. Planning home water birth. 2DC already.
leakyR Due 7 MAY. Planning home water birth. 1 DS already (Apr 07).
Swottybetty Due 29 MAY. Live in Croydon, Surrey. 1 DD already (March 08).
Bumpsadaisie due 31 MAY, DC1, planning home water birth, lives in Cambridge.
Sheenaisapunkrocker due 2 AUGUST, DC1, planning home water birth, West Yorks
Dingalongcow. Due 8th Sept. Essex. PLanning home birth possibly water. 1 DD already (4yo in June-hospital birth)
DetoxDiva. Due 9 SEPT. Live in Bedfordshire. 1 DD already.

Hi home birthers, prospective home birthers and supporters,

our baby due on 26th March arrived on 29th March, 6am. Her name is Layla Joy and she weighed 6lb 13oz.

Laboured at home through a 3-day latent stage and well into active labour, but she was discovered to be breech after I had been at the pushing stage for about 3 or 4 hours. We were transferred to the local hospital and she was born by surprise c.section soon after.

I can't use the word 'emergency' because at no point were we not in control of the situation, we made a decision to abandon home delivery and yes it was a bit urgent but no flashing blue lights etc. Although the ambulance driver was way too leisurely for a woman taking contractions a minute apart in a strapped-down position on only gas and air - I had been labouring on the sofa, leaning over the back into my husband's arms and with my best friend massaging my back so to go from that to being told for health and safety I had to lie down I was not happy!!

A lot of odd things had been going on - a very busy, thrashing baby for a couple of weeks leading up to labour, and I had a mini-false labour at 33 weeks which we now think was the point at which she got stuck bum first in my pelvis. I had been palpated by 3 different people in the 2 weeks before labour and nobody detected her position, even when my waters had gone at 12 noon on ssaturday the MW did not detect her position, they assumed she was so far down that her bum was her shoulders.

I did about 6 hours of active labour, near back-to-back on two paracetamol and entonox so I am feeling a bit pleased with myself, I have never made noises like that before and I kept wondering where on earth it was coming from, I was like an animal, but once I knew I was never going to push her out I was happy to transfer and although it took them 20 mins to get the epidural in I was so glad to finally have it.

My labour at home was an amazing experience, my husband was awesome and our dear friend and birthing partner massaged me tirelessly all day and all night. We had a very relaxed time and I was producing so many endorphins it was amazing, I would not have done anything differnetly and even though I had a section I still consider it a successful home birth.

I'm still a bit shell shocked and have probably missed bits out but the thing I want to share is that even a transfer situation cannot take away from you the special feeling of labouring at home and I really want to encourage you all prospective first timers to not be scared of the 'what ifs' cos as long as you are comfortable with who is there you will find you are capable of far more than you ever thought!

sorry this is a bit rambly, we came home last night and it was a very tough night, but I wanted to share my story as everybody on MN here in the home birth threads and in the March 09 thread have been brilliant company and so helpful.

I wish all of you a very happy lead-up to HB and I look forward to reading your stories!

And March 09 ladies - my latent stage started just after The Apprentice last weds night, baby must have heard me telling her to wait til I had watched it!!

take care all xx

Hello everyone. Do you mind if I add myself to the list? I am due on 1/5 and have just had HB confirmed today with birthing pool sitting in my front room... eek!

ARRIVED:
Girlwiththemouseyhair 31 OCT, BOY, Ethan Christopher. Wonderful homebirth.
Tupperwife 3 FEB, BOY Samuel James. Good hospital delivery as had to transfer due to snow.
Givethedogahomebirth 10 FEB, GIRL Isla Rose.
Helley 12 FEB, GIRL Evelyn Grace.
Laumiere 21 FEB, BOY Gabriel William Thomas Robson. Hospital delivery; had to transfer due to midwives.
Twocutedarlings 28 FEB, BOY Alex.
Captain karvol 7 MARCH, GIRL , 7lb 12oz. Home water birth - drug free with lots of shouting!
Thefearlessfreak 14 MARCH, BOY Patrick. Transfer to hospital due to Meconium.
Boobz 22 MARCH, GIRL Penelope Lucy Reed. Home water birth with very long latent phase!

DUE:
titmouse Due 26 MARCH. First DC. Oxford.
Juwesm Due 1st APRIL. Planning 1st home water birth, Kent.
CEB80 Due 23 APRIL. Planning 1st home water birth.
Gemzooks Due 29 MARCH. Planning first home birth with pool. Live in Holland, 1 DS already (2.5).
Soundbites Due 9 APRIL, DC2.
Gingersarah Due 18 APRIL. Hoping for HB. Live Norbury, London.
KittyCat Due 19 April. Gunning for a HB! Surrey.
Tummum Due 1 MAY. Planning home water birth. 2DC already (4 & 2)
Overtiredmum Due 5 May. Hoping for HB. 1 DS already (June 05).
Belgianchocolates Due 6 MAY. Planning home water birth. 2DC already.
leakyR Due 7 MAY. Planning home water birth. 1 DS already (Apr 07).
Swottybetty Due 29 MAY. Live in Croydon, Surrey. 1 DD already (March 08).
Bumpsadaisie due 31 MAY, DC1, planning home water birth, lives in Cambridge.
Sheenaisapunkrocker due 2 AUGUST, DC1, planning home water birth, West Yorks
Dingalongcow. Due 8th Sept. Essex. PLanning home birth possibly water. 1 DD already (4yo in June-hospital birth)
DetoxDiva. Due 9 SEPT. Live in Bedfordshire. 1 DD already.

Can I join? I'm due on 4th August.

Hi Leaky (tis nutty btw).

I'm planning a homebirth this time and have booked an IM. I've already got my birth pool: no, I'm not organised, I managed to spend the birth pool fund once accidentally and didn't want to make the same mistake again

Sheena - I see you're due around the same time as me and in W Yorks too

Can I join too?

I have 2 DDs and a DSD already and am due on 5th September. DH and I are really keen on a home birth for our first (and last) DC together. Oh, we are in Bristol

Hello all,

it's good to see more prospective homebirthers joining the ranks.

Craftnclothy - hi, I'm so pleased to make contact with someone due around the same time as me - don't feel quite so isolated now. I've booked an IM too - who have you gone with?

I know that I'm pretty fortunate to be able to go with an independent midwife; but there's a great website if anyone is relying on the good old NHS for support. Run by AIMS (Associaton for Imorovements in the Maternity Services) it provides lots of helpful advice and support to enable people to have the birth of their choice. www.aims.org.uk/
Hope this might be useful for some.

Hi Sheena - I've gone with Yorkshire Storks.

I go to the Choices in Childbirth meetings in Bradford and it's one of their midwives who does the talks and stuff each week.

If you want to meet up or anything my username is also my website and there's a contact page on that if you want to email me

Hi everyone,
Been away for a bit as had my little boy rather unexpectedly three and a half weeks early at 36+2. Had to stay in hospital for several nights and didn't get my homebirth as he was so early. We are now home and when I get a spare moment I will post my story.
Good luck to all those due soon and hope you get your homebirths!

Congrats Ceb80, looking forward to hearing your story when you have time.

Titmouse - just seen your story - not sure how I missed it until now as I have been checking the the threads for everyone's progress. I can't believe Layla was breech and no one realised! You sound like you did AMAZINGLY and I know what a long latent stage feels like! You star. You must have been exhausted by the time they put the epidural in.

I'm glad you think it was still a positive HB experience despite not doing the last 2% at home -- and I'm glad it had a happy ending given people's fears about breech and homebirths. You've done so well. Layla looks as cute as a button and I can't wait to see more photos. I haven't seen you on the post natal thread though yet - come and join us and tell us all about her progress.

Ceb80! - wow wow wow! What a surprise! You must be bowled over to have your little boy so soon. I'm sorry you didn't make it to the magic number to get your homebirth (would it have been 37 weeks?) but did you have a good birth anyway? Presumably the night in hospital were due to him being a premie? (is that the right terminology?) Come back and tell us all about it!

Still watching this thread to see how everyone else gets on (Leaky, Gingersarah, Bumpsadaisie etc)... good luck girls! xxx

I'm planning a HB too, this is my first baby.

Craftynclothy - we're due the same date! If we weren't on opposite sides of the country we could hold hands for moral support

I wanted to ask if people think an IM is a crucial component of birthing at home, or if you think it works out just as well via the NHS? I live in Oxford which seems to have a really good attitude towards home birthing, but as a newbie (read : have no idea what I'm doing) all advice appreciated!

Hi Zorra, I've chosen an independent midwife because I like the idea of continuity of care. The IM is on call for your labour, so you get someone that you know from start to finish. Independent midwives are really into the homebirth thing, but I think that plenty of people have homebirths without. It does seem that areas are different and it might be simply down to local GPs/maternity services when it comes to support for homebirths. What does anyone else think?

I think that you just need to be well informed and prepared to question the usual advice that is given. I guess that this is where a supportive birth partner can come into their own - and some women choose doulas to support and advocate for them during the labour when their wishes might be overlooked by professionals. Have a look at the AIMS website (link in my earelier post) for information and inspiration. Also google Association of Radical Midwives for more info.

In my area there are Choices meetings where people can meet to share information - ours is run by a midwife and there is usually a topic/speaker for each meeting. I've only been to one so far, but I can see that they will be really useful in terms of information and networks. Perhaps try googling for your area and see what comes up.

Hope this helps. Good luck. xx

fearless and boobz thanks for your lovely comments, well I can't believe it has been a week already :-) Boobz during my latent stage I kept thinking of you and wondering how on earth you kept going for 80 hours....
you legend!!

I'll be over on the postnatal soon.

zorra I live in Oxford (kidlington) my community midwife group (Blenheim) were hugely supportive of HB and not yet met a MW around here that wasn't hugely excited at the thought of a HB. I have a friend the other side of Oxford who did opt for IM but that was largely due to the fact she was carrying a massive baby and all the scans etc were getting her stressed, they wanted to push her down a very medicalised route and she wasn't happy with it.

even when my anaemia was a possible threat to my HB they still did everything they could to sort it out rather than try to get me to opt for the hospital birth, which was really good as obviously it would be far easier to just send me off to the JR.

In my experience the only off-putting thing about NHS care in this city is that it can be a bit inconsistent, until I was about 36 weeks I hadn't seen the same MW twice and I was feeling quite let down, but that was due to a lot of irregular circumstances and once they had got a regular one in place I have found it much better.

you're very welcome to message me if I can be of any help, as mentioned in my birth story posted on this page I did end up in the JR and I can tell you about that too if it helps.

Sheena - will reply to your email (been busy with dd's party yesterday).

Zorra - I don't think an IM is essential for a homebirth, though I do think it's essential to do your own reading/research. For me, my first birth (in hospital, nhs) could have been an amazing experience but the mw treated me like an over-reacting, uneducated first-timer (I had a v quick labour and they didn't believe I was in labour). This is where the continuity of care becomes an issue for me - my IM said that from meeting me once she could see I was a quiet person and that if I was making a lot of noise she would know that something was happening because it was out of character for me. I also didn't want to deal with having to justify my decisions and the stress that goes with going against 'policy' - I had to fight for midwifery led care because I had pnd last time and I felt I was getting bogged down in learning as much as I could just in case iykwim.

Thanks for the replies, esp Titmouse - there seems to be so much of a postcode lottery it's nice to have local advice. My long-term acupuncturist is also a doula, so I think I will just go the NHS route and trust her to be my 'steady link' person, as it were. And it's true, I think in Oxford they are really sussed for HB which is quite reassuring.

My only problem now is that I don't actually have anywhere to live... Perhaps I should sort that out first!

I'm going down the NHS route here in Bury (Lancashire). I've had the same, supportive midwife for all my AN care, but it is unlikely that she will be the mw to deliver my baby (only one night in 7 on call apparently).

I know at least 5 local mums who've had very positive hb experiences in this area so feel happy with my decision. The others are right to say it's something you need to research locally so you make the right choices for you.

I'm in east London and had two NHS homebirths - loved them. Congratulations to all and good luck to the rest!

x

Baby definitely dropped lower over the weekend. Lot of pressure in my lower regions and tonnes of Braxton Hicks occasionally lasting for a couple of hours. Feel like my body is gearing up for something. Hoping nothing happens until after Thursday which is 37 weeks and when I can have my hb.

Will keep you posted.

ooo, fingers crossed nothing happens before the 37 week mark! xx

No baby action yet!

Had hb risk assessment today and hb kit is here(disappointingly small and dull) and am all systems go for hb from now on New mw today who was lovely, encouraging and v.experienced. Am hoping she's on call when it all happens.

Still feeling uncomfortable and am 3/5 engaged. Need to get our arses into gear organised. Have written a big to do list with dh tonight to make sure we've got stuff ready.

Any top tips?

Top tips:

-- Cook a load of freezable meals. Really helpful in the first 2 weeks.
-- Get DH / DP to an active birthing / yoga class, to get him more involved and to teach him what he can do to help you to labour effectively (positions / massage etc) whilst you are at home.
-- Buy a birthing homeopathy kit. I thought it would be too hippy for me, but I really loved DH administering all these remedies throughout the labour.
-- Rememeber to REST in the early stages. I know that's hard to do, and everyone told me the same thing and I didn't follow their advice. I can't remember if this is your first LO, so you may already know this, but I spent so much time trying to hurry things along, that I ended up exhausted by the time I was in established labour.
-- Get some lavender oil and a burner and have - was really soothing along with the candles.
-- Get Spotify down-loaded on your laptop - it's like itunes but free and you can just search for music and it plays straight away (like your own personal radio station) which was great throughout labour as a distraction at home.

Erm, will think of some more..

top tips:

• get some pampers bed mats, they were great for putting on the furniture and catching all sorts of stuff and in the end we were using these instead of plastic sheets etc

• have some drinking straws handy. your birth partner can hold a drink to you easier and you will want to get through loads of water

• I was massaged with a bar called Therapy from Lush throughout, it is lavendery and very relaxing, and easier for your partner to handle than bottles of oil etc

• it sounds obvious but put a sign on your door telling people not to knock unless they are the MW, it makes it easier if you are labouring in the daytime, don't want random posties etc disturbing you!

Hello everyone

Just to update you that our DD was born at home on a few days late on 14 April at 4.10pm. 6lb 10 oz. The home birth was everything I had hoped it could be and the midwives were amazing. No tearing, so relaxed and a perfect entry to the world. DH, who was reluctant to let me do it, says he would recommend a HB to anyone. The midwives arrived when I was 5 mins apart / 5 cm dilated and everything cranked up then and she was born two hours later. I tried to deliver the placenta naturally but after 40 mins had the injection so I could get on with enjoying our lovely girl. All done over a birth ball, with TENS. Yes it hurt, but it was manageble and I am so proud of myself! DD1 was taken out for the day and got home to find a new baby sister, and more importantly for her, a new scooter!

Soundbites