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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

incompetant midwives

62 replies

jenz · 11/04/2003 19:37

i know there are a lot of women who have had bad experiences due to the incompetance and uncaring attitude of some midwifes.lots of them seem reluctant to talk about this(understandably),but think we need to speak up and hopefully(eventually)things will change.
i arrived at hospital for my sons birth(my first) nearly fully dilated and although i told the midwife this, she told me i had 8 hours to go(i had already been in labour for 24).it took her 1 1/2 hours to tell me she was wrong and that i was ready to push.
before this she had tried to break my waters twice(they had already broken naturally but very slowly and i didnt realise}and my poor baby had sores on his head where she had proded him.
she gave me no help with alternative birth positions and turned the whole experience into a nightmare(i was coping fine and probably would have continued to do so).i ended up getting an eleventh hour epidural(which was done beautifully-no back pain)cause it turned out the baby was sideways with the cord wrapped round,although if i had been treated better i dont think i would have DEMANDED this.
anyway everything was ok in the end but my image of midwifes being good caring people was shattered.this bitch was not only bad at her job but also had a bad attitude.
finally does anyone know of a national body that deals with complaints.i also know that my story is nothing compared to what has happened to other women.
thanx for reading

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willow2 · 11/04/2003 22:45

jenz - complain to the hospital, bitterly. They will have to deal with the complaint. You might also want to contact the Royal College of Midwives - it may be of some help too. I complained about an agency midwife working on the postnatal ward - she was a lazy cow who slept most of the night shift instead of doing what she had been told to do by the regular staff - namely help the mothers on the ward - and caused me a lot of unnecessary grief. I got a response very quickly and was told that she would never work at the hospital again. So do follow this through - you'll feel better for doing so and you might stop other mums suffering similarly.

Original poster

jenz · 12/04/2003 12:35

thankyou willow i do need to complain i always intended to complain in writing and i do have the name of the person who deals with complaints so i just need to get it done its been a few months but i doubt if ive forgotten anything.ill do it and post back on what happens

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Original poster

jenz · 12/04/2003 12:50

also could anyone please tell me if they were allowed gas and air through the pushing stage of there labour.i was only given it (unsupervised)for 20 mins before i started the pushes an then was told i had had enough and it was taken from me.i asked if i could have any more and i was told not i was told "i had to use my pain to push" this was my first baby and i just didnt understand this.i had had no painkillers.anyone who has had there first child without any painkillers i totally applaud them.

anyway i wont go on about this for much longer.i would really appreiciate knowing how the gas and air should be administered correctly as it would help me when i complain to the hospital.
ps!i never expected birth to be a breeze but i just expected better care was this nieve of me?

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doormat · 12/04/2003 13:01

Jenz in answer to the gas and air whilst pushing. I know you are not supposed to. I was in agony with the last ds and the midwife took the gas and air off me to push. My dp then kicked off and told them to give it back as he felt sorry for me. (so he should of). Some midwives are incompetent.

Original poster

jenz · 12/04/2003 13:09

thanks wish my dp was as understanding he was worse than useless but i hear this is a common problem!

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Original poster

jenz · 12/04/2003 13:22

thanks wish my dp was as understanding he was worse than useless but i hear this is a common problem!

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Original poster

jenz · 12/04/2003 13:30

thanks wish my dp was as understanding he was worse than useless but i hear this is a common problem!which prob doesnt merit a! its more like a sacking offence really isnt it when dp s complain they are tired cause theyve been up for so long and agree with anything the midwife says even though u know that there are better ways to deliver babies than lying back feet in are.there
must already be a thread on useless partners if not there should be.ive not sacked this one yet but his card is marked

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Original poster

jenz · 12/04/2003 13:32

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doormat · 12/04/2003 13:33

Jenz he only kicked off because i was pulling and screaming at him like a wild banshee good excuse though to give them a hard time, you can call them what you like and GET AWAY with it ha ha

whymummy · 12/04/2003 14:03

my midwife was a nightmare too,i went into labour 7 weeks early and i was left in the delivery room all by myself in total darkness,attached to a monitor that had ran out of paper and with no bell to call for help it was my first baby and i was terrified and in agony i started calling for help and 20 min. later the midwife came and shouted at me to shut up then she gave me pethine without me asking for it i told her i wanted an epidurial and she laughed and told me i couldn`t get one,she knew it was my first baby,she new he was coming 7 weeks premature and no once she tried to reassure me,i was so traumatised by the experience i ended up with terrible PND that lasted 2 years and when i got pregnant again i spent the whole 9 months completly deppressed as it brought back all the memories

Original poster

jenz · 12/04/2003 14:21

thats awful.its worse than my experience.its nearly got me crying poor u.i have been v lucky cause i havent had pnd an i thought i would as i have suffered from depression b4 and my mum had it so bad i was looked aftermost of the time by a childminder and my grandma
did you complain about m/w its hard isnt it to relive the whole thing but i think that every one who is treated badly needs to speak up and maybe just maybe things will change. for once it seems to be a nhs problem not solely due to underfunding but more to do with attitudes of staff(my hosp has a very new birthing unit they just need new staff to compliment it) allthough i know that understaffing affects staff moral but it just seems that some people are working in health 'care' for all the wrong reasons

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Original poster

jenz · 12/04/2003 14:29

i would think that administering drugs without consent has implications legally,if it was proven.i wish i was a laywer i would want to specilise in this and get these bchs sacked

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Original poster

jenz · 12/04/2003 14:34

oh doormat i do kick and scream an shout at him any way.maybe this is why he was so ussseless when it came to the crunch .funny though in labour i was unusually quiet.must have been shouted out

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whymummy · 12/04/2003 14:39

hi jenz,i dint know her name but the next day i kept asking the other midwifes but they never came back with the answer i spoke to the midwifery manageress but she only made a million excuses, i spent a week in hospital crying non stop and even one day i went looking for her myself im not an agressive person but if i had found her i would have strangled her,i even wrote to the hospital but yet again they gave me nothing but excuses i just hope she did get some short of warning so no one else got treated like me,like you said those people are there for the wrong reasons

Original poster

jenz · 12/04/2003 14:45

sorry my last but one msg sounds v pompous.i think id better go and eat something b4 my low blood sugar level has me thinkin im superwoman or something.or more likely makes me shout at dp for moaning at house bing tip an me hogging his beloved pc

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Original poster

jenz · 12/04/2003 14:48

there is a thread somewhere that is about how to obtain your hosptl notes -some places offer this-

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whymummy · 12/04/2003 15:39

thanks jenz,i found the thread and i`ve already written an email to the hospital asking how can i get my records,thanks again!!

Original poster

jenz · 12/04/2003 19:29

ym thanks for posting , good luck with it ,keep posting,

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jasper · 12/04/2003 20:47

THis is horrific.
I was very fortunate to have the most wonderful midwifery care throughout all 3 labours.
Amongst my friends and family only two have had labours where they felt the midwifery care was really bad. In all other cases they could not praise the staff highly enough.

I also used gas and air the whole time, right up to the very end .

I was not aware this was considered "wrong"

Do hospitals differ in their policy regards gas and air in the pushing stages?
I don't think they could have removed it from me if they had tried

tallulah · 12/04/2003 21:39

I had it taken away from me in the last stage of all 4 labours. They say it doesn't help, but I only got the urge to push for 1 of them, so it wouldn't have mattered if they'd left the gas with me. (They unscrewed the mask from the canister because I wouldn't give up the mask!)

mears · 12/04/2003 23:50

Jenz,
I am so sorry to read of your horrendous experience. You obviously have lots of issues that need to be discussed. I think you should make an appointment with the Head of Midwifery to discuss your care then take it from there.

I am a midwife and as far as entonox ( gas &air) in the second stage is concerned there are differing opinions. I have read that women should be discouraged from using entonox when pushing because it can cause disorientation and lack of co-operation. I was taught by a wise anaesthetist in my training, that it was cruel to take away entonox at the most painful period of labour ie second stage. My own practice is to let women keep it and use it when they want. However, there have been occasions where women have been totally disorientated using it at that time and I have advised them not to use it. I would never take it away without a woman's co-operation however. In fact I delivered my own babies usuing entonox and know that you can still use it and know what you are doing. It is so sad that you have such awful feelings towards your midwife. You definately need to do something to resolve your issues. Get a letter of complaint in so that you can get closure.

Original poster

jenz · 13/04/2003 14:57

thanks mears ,tallulah, jasper.i think i wiil print out these comments as a page and enclose them with my letter is this ok with everyone?thanks to everyone again i appreciate your comments

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slug · 13/04/2003 16:12

Lordy Whymummy!! Are you sure you and I didn't have the same midwife? Mine shouted at me to get off the bed immediatly my waters broke(which she did during a clumsy internal) then proceeded to strap me to the damn monitor and refused to let me change position. She wouldn't let me have an epidural, her words were "The pain is good for you" though I'm sure THAT never ended up in the hospital notes. I had put in my birth plan that I wanted to avoid an episotomy if at all possible, and she said, without examining me first, that I was probably going to have one anyway so there was no point in complaining. All this when i was only 4cm dilated.

whymummy · 13/04/2003 16:35

jenz and slug its amazing how those women get away with it as im sure we werent the only ones its been a long time since my experience but i still want to do something about it even if is just a long and nasty letter to that midwife in particular,it will make me feel better

Original poster

jenz · 13/04/2003 17:56

hi whymummy how did your 2nd labour go u never said was it any better than first.i hope so.id like to be preggers again and im optimisticaly thinking that no2 couldnt possibly b as bad as the first.he took hours and hours of pushing too i was so glad i had an epid. i remember thinking i can stand this pain if i know its over in 1/2 an hour but something in my head told me it was gonna be a lot longer

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