Please could you share your experiences of the pushing stage?

[Anglepoise]

Hello ladies

I'd be very grateful if you could share your experiences of the pushing stage of childbirth. DD is 12 days old and I found this stage rather traumatic, but I'm not sure whether I was unlucky or just horribly naive - since most things seem to concentrate on dealing with the contractions, I had kind of assumed that the pushing section would be brief and not too uncomfortable! Instead I ended up pushing for an hour and a quarter, on my back on a hospital bed (quite a long way from the home water birth I wanted ) and while I didn't have my legs in stirrups, the MW advised me to raise them - I eventually ended up bracing one against her and one against DH but my arms ached for three days from holding them. At one point I asked whether I should be in a different position (I'd been on my knees over the head of the bed previously) and the MW told me that this was best, although she also said I was pushing round a corner and uphill (which is why I thought it wasn't recommended any more). She also told me (I think) that I couldn't have gas and air during the pushing stage, so I was without pain relief for the whole thing. Does this sound right or was I badly advised? DD was 7 lb 12 oz, so not huge, but had gone back to back if that makes a difference.

Thanks

I pushed for 2 hours 20 mins with DD1 (back to back). No pain relief, squatting position. Anyone who tried to make me lie on my back would probably have been punched .
With DD2, pushed for 20 - 25 mins and very intense, waaaaayy more intense than DD1, but she was nearly 10 lbs and DD1 was only 7lb 12oz. A slightly more upright squatting position for DD2. HTH and congrats on your lovely baby.

I definitely prefered the pushing stage. I found the whole thing much less painful than the dilation part (transition was awful!). Mine was drug free but the pushing stage was all a bit of a blur. Afterwards I thought I'd been pushing for about 5 minutes, but DH told me it had gone on for more than an hour. I just hadn't realised. When DD's head came out I didn't really think it was that painful.
For me, transition was the bit that traumatised me!!

I had a horridly long labour (43 hours) with all sorts of things going wrong (failure to progress, epidural sending bp crashing, infection affecting baby's heartrate etc.) They stopped topping up the epidural so that I could feel what was happening when I needed to push, but because I'd had such a rough time my legs were like jelly and I was hooked up to a heart monitor for DS because of his heart rate so I had to be on my back. It was a horrid position - I was desperately trying to lift my hips off the bed to get what help I could from gravity but had no strength to do it, so ended up with legs braced against DH/mw as others have said. With a second DC I will try to resist an epidural purely so I have some control over what position I deliver in, because I know that I will feel much better if I am upright.

Findtheriver said earlier that we don't really know how to push and that is so true - it took me 30 mins to work out what pushing really required and how to breathe with the contractions etc. Once I'd got the hang of it it seemed much more controllable somehow. I delivered my 9lbs DS in 50 mins, but it was really only the last 20 mins when I knew what the hell I was meant to be doing!

I actually found the pushing stage much easier to deal with than labour - after taking so long to get to 10cm, I got a huge lift from knowing that the end was finally in sight and that I was going to meet my baby soon, and that helped me cope with the pain, forget the exhaustion and focus on what I needed to do. Having said that I did screech at one point "I need forceps!" but mw and DH pretty much laughed at me as they knew it probably only needed two more goes - sure enough I delivered his head the next push and his body after that

I think that's strange, about the no-gas-and-air thing. I can't see how it would affect your ability to push, because it doesn't really kill any pain, just sort of helps you cope with it, imo. I had it whilst pushing, and it was fine, and over in less than 30 mins (sorry). bbbbbbbbbbbbb

sorry about all those bbbbbbbbbbbbbbs....

My midwife explained that the reason for removing the gas and air was because although it doesn't stop the pain at all, it makes you kind of drowsy and during second stage you need to be really focused.

As I said before, and biggest shock for me was the difference in what your body is doing in 1st and 2nd stage labour. The gas and air worked brilliantly for me during 1st stage, because I just tried to 'float' away from each contraction, kind of distancing myself, using deep breathing and the g and a. Then suddenly it was transition (aaargh!!) and then the midwife was wanting me to be awake and alert and working damn hard pushing. I just found that a real shock, especially not really knowing 'how' to push.

I remember thinking how unfair it was that having coped really well from 0 to 10 cm, the midwife was taking away the g and a which was my lifeline - dh said afterwards that I was feebly begging 'oh please let me have it back' as if it was a comfort blanket!

Pushing was much easier than the prior stage for me because I finally got some gas and air which took the edge off the pain. Previously I was just in a warm bath with some paracetomal and i was in agony. When I was allowed out after begging for more pain relief I had 30-40 mins on gas and air and then 30 mins or so serious pushing.

I had wanted a water birth but due to raised blood pressure I was induced (pessary then waters broken but no drugs) and only allowed in bath to ease the labour pains.

I ended up laying on my back but I was so tired by then I don't think I could have supported myself upright even with DH's help. Pushing really did feel like doing the biggest poo ever which surprised me - I thought the sensations would be more middle than back passage iykwim. 2nd degree tear so not perfect but I didn't feel it at the time. DS was v reasonably big compared with my pelvis but in a perfect position. Crowning hurt less than all those earlier contractions in the bath and less than the local anaesthetic injections and stitches.

Gas and air in the second stage meant that I could use gravity to get the baby out slowly and avoid any kind of pushing.

It was fantastic and worked a treat, ensuring the mw was hands-off and I caught the baby myself!

I've had three kids. I have learned a few things during their births. If you get upright and/or use a birthing pool it's less awful and you tear a lot less (they should ban beds from delivery suites in my opinion). Midwives don't always give very helpful or timely advice in second stage and it's sometimes best to rely on instinct instead. Get into the zone mentally and ignore any nonsense around you (eg too many people being in the room for your liking), as this helps as well. Nobody dies from the pain of crowning and while it's quite scary as you do it, if it was that bad we'd never ever do it more than once ... it can be actually empowering once you realised what an athletic feat you have just achieved! Women are all powerful!

Your experience sounds similar to the birth of my DD (1st DC), and like you it took a long time for me to make sense of what 'went wrong' with my pushing stage. Labour had been 'manageable' till I reached 10cm then it completely stopped and I was given synto to restart the contractions and had to be continuosly monitored. Up till then I had been instinctively on all fours leaning over the raised back of the bed, kind of swaying from side to side with each contraction. With the monitor I had to be flat on my back, legs in stirrups being shouted at to push for 2.5 hours. I just couldn't do it and ended up with a ventouse and a very grey-looking (but ultimately healthy) baby.
2 years later DS was born with me in the position I described above, and which I think you mentioned too, the second stage lasted 7 minutes and I didn't have to push at all, I just 'breathed' him out.

Hi there

Congratulations on your baby!

I was also really shocked by the pushing stage - it was SO much longer than I had ever anticipated - and no one had ever really spelled out how bad it would be. I felt like I was on fire. I had no pain relief, but was having an otherwise brilliant waterbirth with very supportive midwife.

I did 90 mins - and for me it was MUCH worse than the contractions.

I did a bit on my back too, before switching onto my knees - the 100% pro natural birth midwife said it was to "get the baby around the corner" so maybe your midwife was not totally wacko?

I so know where you're coming from Anglepoise.

My experience made me wonder if I had missed something at antenatal. It never occurred to me that pushing would hurt so much - or that it would feel so wrong (ie, why on earth would you want to do something that hurts so much?). I too was lying on my back in stirrups and had absolutely no urge to push. Eventually (after two hours) the midwife said she was going to get the doctor and "all his instruments". So I pulled Les Dawson faces (to try to convince her I was trying) which, amazingly, worked. Daughter was born about five minutes later. Huge sighs of relief all round. Especially from the midwife I kicked (by accident, m'lud).

Second time around I was at home. Totally different story. Very strong urge to push. Don't remember the pain at all (in fact, fantastic experience all round). Afterpains though, now they're another story. And did anyone hear about them at antenatal?

Many congratulations on your baby, by the way.

I agree with that mysignaturedish. I didn't really feel the pain when I had my home waterbirth. I said to my doula between contractions that it just felt uncomfortable rather than painful, and I didn't need pain relief.

Delivering the placenta was a different matter - I hadn't expected that to feel like a second labour and had to use the gas and air to get through it. I'd come out of the pool by that point so maybe that made all the difference. Water really does give amazing pain relief.

Oh yes, and for the few days following the afterpains were immense. Apparently they get worse with every subsequent labour; I didn't have any with my first so that was certainly true in my case.

like you, i was forced to give birth on my back due to a catalogue of oversights/blanket rules on behalf of the midwives (there were many, many midwives at dd's birth, one after the other, i lost track.)

Firstly, they didn't let me eat anything not even the light snacks i'd brought. I tried to protest saying ' but i haven't eaten all day'. Then after 14 hours of course i effin well had keytones in my urine - what did they expect?

So they put me on a drip which meant i was stuck in the same position for the pushing stage (legs up against dp and a midwife with another midwife telling me i wasn't allowed to scream).

Then they left it so long to check my dilation when i had the urge to push that the urge had completely vanish by the time they allowed me and i was pushing wiht no help from either gravity or nature.

Awful, awful experience, makes me angry when i think about it even two and a half years on. Whipps Cross Hospital in East London, i feel people ought to know.

didn't have a good first experience; long (3 day) induction finally going to forceps delivery.

2nd time was amazing - i refused induction this time. no pain relief, just breathed through it (felt more like tremendous exertion rather than pain), felt a wave of euphoria just before pushing stage, didn't feel the need to push, but body was bearing down all by itself.

midwives were great, telling me to do whatever felt right. 9lb baby born after 15 minutes of pushing and whooping! no stitches. an unbelievably fulfilling experience.

ONly got to pushing stage with ds2. Was on epidural as back to back (very very very painful) but could still feel a bit down there. Ds2 heartrate was dipping, they were getting ventouse ready and i pushed for all i could, pulling on the bars and holding the push then taking breath and pushing harder. Delivered him without ventouse but did have episiotomony. The medical team were in awe and I felt very proud as managed it myself. Ds2 was not well though apgar 4 but he rallied on oxygen and is a bouncing and crawling and climbing 9 month old now.

total - it shocks me how many people have bad birth experiences in some of the bigger hospitals. Personally I wouldn't go near a hospital out of choice - it would be midwife unit or home birth all the way for me. The larger hospitals are necessary if you need a csection or such like but IMO they often make a hash of normal births.

I had my first in a midwife unit, second was cs, so 3rd had to be consultant led care in hospital which I hated.

It's important to remember that having a 'good' birth experience doesn't necessarily equate to pain free - it's more about being listened to and feeling empowered. My first birth was definitely the worst in terms of being my biggest baby, the first time my body had done it so therefore labour longer and more painful - but I felt it was my 'best' birth because I had a wonderful midwife talking me througn. My VBAC in contrast, I had my legs in stirrups when the baby crowned so no bloody wonder I tore to shreds. Outrageous!

I lurve the pushing stage I am a crap dilater but super pusher, dd only took 20 minutes (which is apparently quite good for a first baby), and my notes said 3 seconds for ds, which i assume meant he just flew out

I was upright for all mine
I found pushing to be a natural force which I worked with. Breathed, felt and let happen.
When head crowned I panted, slowed and breathed them out
Now pushing for me was not me making it happen, it was a physiogical force

As for G&a I had access to it from just before transition but did not use it afterwards but v v useful for focussing breathing during transition.

Sorry you had a less than perfect birthing experience
But congrats on your new baby!

findtheriver - i had legs in stirrups for vbac as had epidural.. that why i had to cut then? Had fab time though - same mw through the stages and she was AMAZING. totally listened and supported

ButtonMeUp - I was in stirrups as it was basically a mismanaged birth! The baby's heart rate was dipping, the doctor was thinking of taking a blood sample from the baby's scalp,but tbh there had been so much waiting around, changes of midwife (saw a constant stream of them) that they didn't realise I was 10 cm dilated and ready to push. Therefore I pushed hard with my legs in stirrups and tore badly, and believe me, that hurts like fuck with no pain relief!

I felt very angry afterwards, as I had no choice but to deliver in a large hospital due to previous csection. I think when a birth is straightforward, a non medicalised atmosphere is best - my first birth was me, dh and the midwife.

i had a very short but painful 1st labour with ds. twas 6 years ago and was given pethadine. didnt really know what was going on the whole time. kept mistiming the gas and air and contractions. i remember them telling me not to push and i told them 'who are you f**kin kiddin' as the urge was uncontrollable. so i pushed down into my bottom as instructed and low and behold as my ds came out so did my bottom! it has never been the same since. i really dont want that to happen this time (2 wks to go) but alas i think it might. can i just say that reading all of your experiences i think i will try the standing and squatting method throughout this time without the peth as i wnat to have more awareness and control this time.

so it's better to push through your diaphragm?

help!!!

Yes, pushing is more effective if it's from your daphraghm. I think the first time round it's easy to make a lot of noise and feel as though you're pushing without it being very effective. I think this is something that is generally overlooked a bit at antenatal classes - not sure why?

I can't emphasise enough that being in a good position - upright or squatting is probably the best birth position. I also think that having continuity of care is vital. When you have one midwife who is going through your labour with you, she will be in tune with your body and the pace of labour. I found the constant shift changes, doctors coming and going, waiting around etc in my 3rd labour a nightmare - I blame this for the fact that I was in stirrups and tore. It should have been a straightforward birth - not a huge baby, and although I'd had a previous csection, this delivery was normal. If I'd been in the midwife unit where I delivered my first, then I honestly beleive the midwife would not have been so panicky, she would have listened to me, let me get in a good position and guided the pushing, not just let me give one almighty push and tear. Midwives are the experts for normal births - doctors are far too ready to intervene. If this 3rd birth had been my first experience of birth, I can see how I would have ended up feeling no confidence in my body, I would probably have insisted on an epidural for subsequent births, and assumed that birth has to be a medicalised event. I'm just really relieved that I did experience normal delivery with a midwife first time around.It does make me angry though that so many women have similar experiences in a medicalised environment.

I pushed for 2.5 hours before having an episiotomy which did the trick. I totally agree that antenatal classes (at least the NCT ones I went to) don't prepare you for the pushing stage. They focussed only on the contractions and talked about how the pushing part is all very positive as the baby is finally on its way.

For me it was the worst most painful part - felt like I was being split in half. I had gas and air throughout. Think we should definitely be given more preparation for the pushing stage but maybe they don't want to put us off at antenatal classses!