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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Sex after birth - How long did you wait? (Maybe tmi!)

29 replies

lauraloola · 12/09/2008 12:08

Sorry if tmi but dd is now 3 months old and I still havent done the deed!

My dp is very patient - Didnt have sex all through pregnancy due to various problems and it is a year ago today that we concieved dd.

I am sh!tting myself about doing it. My bits dont feel right after giving birth and I am worried that it is really going to hurt.

How long did you leave it? Does it hurt? Any tips for making it easier?

OP posts:
mumblechum · 12/09/2008 12:10

2 weeks after CS.

TheProvincialLady · 12/09/2008 12:21

About 10m before first attempt, 13m for second and then 18m until normal service was resumed. I did have a horrible episiotomy though.

cyteen · 12/09/2008 12:21

i am gagging for it after having low sex drive throughout pregnancy...wish things wd hurry up and heal!

naughtymummy · 12/09/2008 12:32

2 weeks with DS 2 months with DD.

MrsMattie · 12/09/2008 12:36

Can't remember. I think it was about 4 months and was definitely a sympathy shag for my husband. I had a c-section and wasn't remotely interested in sex for a long time. My sex drive still isn't what it was 3 yrs later!

OrmIrian · 12/09/2008 12:39

5 weeks and though it wasn't sore I was numb which wasn't great I think about the same for the other 2.

Took a loooong time for it to feel right again. And that was without any big tears or stitches. TBH 5yrs down the line since the last one and I still am a bit take it or leave it.

poorbuthappy · 12/09/2008 12:43

3 weeks with dd.
We got dd out of the house for the night (at her auntie's house), I drank a reasonable amount of red wine and we took it very slowly...

BitOfFun · 12/09/2008 12:47

Provincial Lady - I thought that I was doing well for ten days in my case, but ten minutes??? now that's impressive

Original poster
lauraloola · 12/09/2008 14:58

I am thinking a lot of alcohol is going to be needed! Maybe I should I just do it then before dp finds someone else!!

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 12/09/2008 15:09

Alcohol is def the way to go . I had a tear and stitches, but it didn't bother me with some wine first. I think your DP will be fine without as long as it takes, but if you can get back in the saddle so to speak, you may well find you remember what you liked about it. I have a deal with my now DP that if he wants to and I don't, I will go along with it for a bit and see if I can be persuaded, as long as if I stop he won't push it. If I really don't want to, then of course I don't, and he doesn't hassle me. It just seems to be one of those "use it or lose" things: the more you do it, the more you feel like it, and vice-versa. Sometimes you don't think you want it but you're fine once you get going , feel better for it, and everyone's happy!

MamaG · 12/09/2008 15:13

6 weeks with both IIRC - with me wincing and saying "careful, careful" both times hehe

verreeee sexy

aly16 · 12/09/2008 15:16

I waited 9 days! But was very scared. All was ok though just slightly uncomfy. But it depends on how things are down below I suppose, I was lucky enough to not need any stitches so wasn't as sore as some new Mummys xx

LadySanders · 12/09/2008 15:19

about 3 weeks after c/s, wasn't exactly gagging for it but thought dp might explode otherwise... i have to say i don't think the ol' b/feeding hormones help much with libido...

TheProvincialLady · 12/09/2008 15:25

BitofFun it was actually short for millenia

Ebb · 12/09/2008 16:07

6wks after Ds. Had had loads of stitches and thought I was all healed but then I discovered I'd had internal stitches too....... Was fine though.

MamaG · 12/09/2008 16:20

LOL
LOL
LOL at The PRov lady

Original poster
lauraloola · 12/09/2008 16:26

We have a wedding do next month - The first night out!! Maybe I will get drunk and let dd stay at her Grandparents. Whats the betting I get too drunk and fall straight asleep

OP posts:
Peabody · 12/09/2008 16:46

About six weeks, I think.

I didn't have that many stitches so we just took it carefully and had no problems.

My main concern was that I now had a bucket-sized fanjo, and to be honest this is stll a worry for me!

macaco · 12/09/2008 19:22

Had 2nd degree tear and episiostomy. Did deed 8 weeks after, more to get it out of the way psychologically speaking. Wasn't great but felt like a weight off my mind. Now pretty much back to normal, but certain positions not comfy.
Use loads of lube.
I have to say I really didn't fancy it AT ALL while still BFing.

cranmorefifi · 13/09/2008 09:07

blymey! took me months last time (I'd say at least 7 or 8) and was not too enjoyable for some time. But then I did have quite a lot of damage (stitches) and was BF for 12 months which apparently 'dries' everything up... NICE.

cheerfulvicky · 13/09/2008 22:52

I really miss it and would love to resume relations but DP doesn't seem that bothered I think he's worried about hurting me, sees me as off limits and doesn't even consider it and option. It's only 2 weeks since I gave birth, I had an episiotomy and I know I'm not healed yet. But I wish things would HURRY UP down there as I miss the closeness so much and my sex drive is normal... sighs

Soapbox · 13/09/2008 22:55

I had 3rd degree tears with both of mine but healed very quickly.

IIRC around 4 weeks with DD and 6 weeks with DS. I do recall quite clearly thinking that I was going to have had sex before going to my 6 week check up as I couldn;t face being asked 'the question' and saying 'not yet'

biglips · 13/09/2008 22:58

After my first period @ 8 weeks. i had a coil fitted in..plus i had an emergency c-section.

BabyStarlettsBeautiful · 13/09/2008 22:59

You have to bite the bullet and get on with it. Use lots of lube and take it gentle.

Tis a bit like the first time, not particularly enjoyable, but shouldn't hurt.

Once you've got through the first time, it should be fine after that!

biglips · 14/09/2008 19:35

yes i agree...as dont think about it but just do it and get it over and done with and you find yourself thinking....Oh that wasnt bad a i thought!

As i had an emergency section and i was dreading the sex side of it till i did it and it was fine (and gentle)

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