Has anyone regretted having a doula at their birth?

[Aubergenie]

Not sure why anyone would, but I'm just trying to look at both sides of the coin...

btw, not being allowed to eat/drink is such old school practice. I think i know the reason why they have told you this but it is now pretty much dated as far as research goes.

I don't mind at all. I've got raised ALT levels in my blood which can be an indicator or obstetric cholestasis. However,I've got no other symptoms and my bile acid results, which should give a definite diagnosis, are within the normal range. In fact I was at the hopital today and my ALTs have gone down from 80 to 49 (the top end of normal range is 34) which is great, but they're still being ultra cautious. I've got a liver scan booked for this week which might give a clearer picture of what's going on, and once we have the results of this I'm going to talk to the consultant and push hard for them to agree to a more active labour, perhaps with intermittant monitoring. I totally agree with you about the no eating/drinking thing too. I was pretty shocked when the doctor told me that.

Just to respond to Mimsy's comment about the NHS - that was one of the reasons I thought I might like a doula to attend my birth. Having someone there who understood the "system" sounded like a real benefit. My DH was of the "why have another person in the room" belief, but on the day I went into labour, I called the post-natal doula we'd hired and asked her if she could be with me. (We had tentatively arranged that I could contact her last minute and she would come if she was available.) For me, it was definitely a good enough reason to have another person in the room. I felt like I had more confidence to stand up for myself and get answers to my questions with her backing me up. (And to be honest, she only gave her opinion when I asked her to, which was great.)

I ended up with an emerg section (placental abruption) but that was certainly not due to the doula. In fact, what could have been a very stressful and scary experience was actually quite calm and positive and I put a lot of that down to the doula. My DH is now totally converted and recommends having a doula to everyone.

But it is SO very much down to the person and your relationship with them. Don't get a doula for the sake of it. You have to be completely comfortable with them (and certainly can't be clock-watching to keep fees down). My doula and I clicked right away, and I feel very lucky about that. I would recommend her to you, but I don't think she'd go as far east as you.

Good luck with your search - I think it can be a really positive experience with the right person.

Aubergenie: Please contact me on y f forster @ gmail dot com. I have some info to share with you wrt Newham Hosp. I also have an email addy for you to contact someone about the type of care you can ask for while in labour. I cannot give you any advice re this medical condition but she will be able to help you along. As I said, I would hate to think you will be on a bed, constantly monitored for no other reason than the convenience of the staff which unfortunately is what this consultant seems to be suggesting.

I didn't really like it tbh. I also felt I had to make conversation and be funny when I was just feeling the worst ever. We didn't really click from the start, it was her first time, she was a bit overwhelmed by the whole thing and didn't know what to do. My friend was there as well, asked all the right questions for me, knew what to say and do, was super confident and I valued her no end.
Afterwards I stayed very close to my friend (it made us closer) and only saw the doula a couple of times when she popped in to see how I was.
We just jarred I suppose, no animosity but it felt awkward.
Also she wasn't around when I went into labour, took ages to arrive etc.
I think you need to be very comfortable with someone or it just makes it harder.

Foxytocin, you have mail.

you have mail.

not a secret society starlight, i just want to stay this side of libel and controversy regarding some goings on at Newham Gen. which i think Aubergenie should know.

Aubergine.

emaIL ME AT

[email protected]

I have experience in 3 pg's of OC, and I cover your area.

just to add to Liahgen's words in an ealrier post, I am on call atm for a couple who suddenly turned around and said they might just want me waiting outside, and although I really want to be with them I'm wondering if I've held her hand enough that they now have the confidence to do it themselves.., she originally thought she had no choice but elCS, so they have come a long way and I wonder how much of this was down to me just beign there for her (don't want to get too big headed! )

Incidently I told her that I'm guided by what she and her dh want. It's not about me at all

Klaw, It's so satisfying when you get a couple to that point though don't you think?

sorry for hijack.

OPh, I'm so excited, can't wait for the call, bit nervous too.... it's a WBA2C in an MLU, no less!!! She's surrounded herself with the best HCPs and I'm honoured to be travelling this journey with her

no offense to the doulas here who sound great but I know at both my births, when it came to it, I really wanted to be on my own and wished that everyone would just eff off and leave me alone! DP included tho I do now see that he was quite useful the second time as they pretty much did so he was quite handy for delivering ds2 whilst simultaneously pressing the emergency button to get the slacker midwives in. This is despite fact was seriously considering a doula for the second time.

Seriously tho, I think it very much depends on the type of person you are and i am one of those martyr to my cause, just get on with it yourself types of people and i think I would have found someone else there annoying (I certainly found DP, my mother the first time and all 3 midwives involved in my 2 births exceptionally annoying at the time)

good luck Klaw, you've done a fab job, helping them to get to this place.

Lol at Matbackfeck.

My doula totally left me alone and helped me to distract dh by giving him jobs to do so he wouldn't flap NEAR me. THen she let me get on with it. A.Ma.Zing.

But I met other doulas who didn't make me feel as good as she did.

I had a doula for my first birth - had a fantastic easy birth and wanted a doula mainly to reassure my DH (who was "resting" on our bed while I was wondering b/w bedroom and bathroom in labour!). Had a homebirth (decided near end of pregnancy - no pressure from doula). Depending on the doula but mine kept midwife away until last minute - she was very experienced and knew how far along I was - didn't have any examinations until midwife turned up when I was about to push! Very relaxing and easy birth and I believe that a lot of that was due to confidence in our doula . (first looked into doulas when I was going to have a baby in the US)

wow, i read pendulum's words are felt like they were my own. i also got a doula because i was high risk, no braxton hicks, no contractions at 42 weeks, needed to be induced as i was leaking fluid and was DESPERATE to give birth naturally (bloody prenatal teacher!). Turns out I was high risk for a reason and despite labouring naturally with doula for 17 hours I started to hemorrage (sp?) and has to be rushed for emergency CS so that could get baby out in case I didn't make it! I think if you know you're high risk its better to be mentally prepared for medical intervention, as that'll give you back more of a feelnig of control and your less likely to suffer PND that building yourslf up for natural birth and feeling like a failure.

Doulas are a great idea, I had one for my second baby. I hired one because my partner as away for the birth (on business!). But, as it turned out, it was a really positive experience having just women involved (including the midwife) and no panicky male. Although I would have preferred to have him there, in fact as it turned out it was probably better that he wasn't. I had such a great birth, very quick, no drugs, not even g&a, just reassurance and support from my fab doula and midwife and the water pool for the last 20 mins.

Mine was amazing and apart from at the end where it went wobbly- it was the best experience of my life- so much so that I am sad I will never ever experience labour again.

She gave me confidence, made me feel safe and looked after me from the get go.

Havne't had chance to read thru but wanted to add my exp. Had a CS with DS1 as he was breech - it was planned so I never went into labour. With DS2, I wanted a VBAC and the wonderful doula I had enabled me to do this by making me believe in my own strength and my own body to do what it was made to do. I had a long labour and the medics wanted me to have another section and I truly beleive that's what wouldhave happened had the doula not been there - she made sure I got the birth I wanted and was capable of and helped both me and DH be calm and strong throughout the labour - I can't recmommend doulas (obv the right doula) highly enough. she massaged me and used homeopathy in the days leading up to the birth and was a constant support.

i have read these posts and i guess i chose the wrong one
my ds is 10 weeks now and i had hired a doula but TBH it was a total waste of my time

she initially came out to meet me the second time to collect my fee half of it and sign contract and have another chat
she was well aware before i met her i was having a baby that would be disabled and i was a insulin diabetic she said no problem

supposed to have 3 ante natel meetings i got 1 when i had to be induced early as baby was in real distress,she said sorry i have another birth booked for next week it might be a problem i never heard from her again till the night before my induction
i just said dont bother you have wasted my time she replied ok sorry you feel like that and of course you dont have to pay me my other half of the fee