Positive c section recovery stories

[bk1981]

I'm one week post emergency section and finding the whole thing really hard to come to terms with.
The idea that my baby was so distressed inside me that he needed to be pulled out so urgently is terrifying but I'm also so upset that I needed the surgery. I feel almost violated I think, at the thought of them rummaging around and leaving me with a big scar. I don't know if this is a normal feeling?
My first birth was forceps so this was supposed to be my 'easier' second time mum birth. The forceps recovery was a walk in the park compared to this!
The physical recovery is really challenging when I have a toddler to look after and I hate feeling like I can't do basic things! I've basically spent the last two years being pregnant or miscarrying so this was supposed to be our lovely summer as a family of four at last. Instead I'm hobbling around at home while my husband tries to entertain our toddler by himself. I can't drive or put the younger one in the carrier so I'm basically housebound if I have them both by myself.
Please send your positive section recovery stories this way. In particular, when could you drive, baby-wear and go for short walks?

Hello, i have had 2 c sections. Rest, rest and more rest! I recovered very quickly after my second one, although thougt the day after i would never walk upright again! I was fine, once the bleeding stopped.

.i drove quite soon, in an automatic. Its not a law you have to wait 6 weeks, its when you feel ready. Its the emergency stop that i worried about.

A buggy board is great for about 10 mins before little legs get tired and you wish you had a double buggy. Ime.

Eat properly, lots of water, early nights, minimal everything housework related. Read with toddler on the sofa, get a little bell to call your dh?:)

You can get a follow up from the hospital, but ime best not to dwell on it if it upsets you. You could talk about it on here lots which helps, on the cs threads? You are home, you have a lovely new baby and a toddler to enjoy. Youre doing great. Give it time. Lots of time.

A debrief will quite likely be helpful. A cat 1 section is called when there’s an immediate threat to life either of mother or baby. The minimum standard then is a decision-to-delivery time within 30mins, but often it’s much closer to 10-15mins. If ‘cat 1’ was the final decision (occasionally things relax a little bit if things look to be settling down) then they’ll really thought there was a serious risk. Because of the speed at which they have to get the baby out it may be a less delicate operation (at least the first bit) than less urgent sections and that may mean early recovery’s a bit tougher. Quite often they can tell you what the problem was, but not every single time.

You have not failed to deliver your babies. You have prioritised their safe arrival, at the expense of your own health. That’s the epitome of a loving mum.

I’m about to have my second ELCS, my first was an easy recovery but I’d say there is definitely a big difference between emcs and elcs and also between the end of week 1 and the end of week 2.

a debrief is an excellent idea. It’s even more useful in a few weeks/months when the rawness has reduced and you can really get your head around/into it

Hello! I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Give yourself some credit! You have done a massively hard thing - you've had a tough time with your first birth, with pregnancy and losses, and now this emergency section. You're only a week past the op! You will start to feel physically better gradually over time. And you will be able to reach out for mental health support too. Please speak to your HV and yes a debrief is a good idea if you have questions or trauma to work through. I had one and it was useful to me even though it was a year post partum.

Some practical things -

• I had an emergency section and I felt I recovered really well but I took it very slowly. Went for first "proper" walk (about 2 miles) a couple of weeks post birth. I was walking short distances straight away, but I did find stairs painful which was a challenge! I kept finding myself stuck either upstairs or downstairs as I didn't feel confident carrying her on the stairs for quite a few days
• the hardest thing for me was not having help / company during the day. My husband had no paternity leave as self employed and no one to cover. Can you beg anyone for help? Family / friends? Even if it's just to occupy your toddler for an hour or bring you some food?
• I really suffered when I forgot the painkillers. I ended up setting an alarm for every four hours day and night and that really kept me more comfortable to stay on top of pain relief. I was mostly able to manage it with paracetamol by keeping on top of the regular doses.
• in all I recovered really well physically but the scar / overhang looked grim (IMO) for a while. I think it's a shock anyway as your belly is deflating and your ankles and feet are like an elephant's, but honestly I have 0 overhang now (just got very lucky) and the scar is so close to invisible - you really have to look for it.
• I did pay for a "mummy MOT" about 6/7 months post partum and that helped me have confidence in my pelvic floor and core etc
• I had a really tough feeding journey so I did struggle with my mood. My baby was IVF so in my despair I was thinking, I can't get pregnant, I can't give birth, I can't feed her, I can't comfort her (she was very unsettled). It turned out she had a lot of tension (torticollis), reflux and a tongue tie which took time to work through and was very hard. But we got there in the end. I was distraught by the thought that I couldn't be the "right kind" of mummy, but I can see now that I was depressed and none of those thoughts were true. So I wish I had reached out for more mental help earlier on. It sounds like you should do the same.
• on the plus side, I got support with getting baby in sling early on and I was wearing her from day 9 and it was extremely comfortable and freeing. I could pop her in and wash bottles, go for a bit of fresh air etc. I didn't find any strain from it at all as you wear them so high (sling or carrier should be right up under your bust for a newborn) and she was small. She didn't tolerate it for long stretches like some babies but it really boosted my mental health to be able to be hands free, as she would never tolerate being put down

The midwife is coming tomorrow and I'm definitely going to ask for the reflections appointment. I had one after my first birth and it really helped.

The toddler was in nursery today so we walked 15 minutes to the coffee shop that had been our go to for my first mat leave which felt great. I couldn't have imagined doing that this time last week.

Thank you again for your kind words. I'm cuddling my sleeping boy in the dark and feeling so much happier than in my first post.

Sorry I haven’t RTFT. But please be kind to yourself and take the time you need to heal. C sections are super rough. I’ve had 3, varied recoveries but my first was a good 6 weeks before I felt able to even leave the house! Plus a needy new baby thing that I didn’t have a clue what to do with! My second, I developed mental health issues because I couldn’t cope with my own pain plus needs of newborn plus needs for f a toddler. I mean it’s not rocket science - ten years down the line I’m smashing parenting but it absolutely destroys you and rebuilds you from the ground up. And society doesn’t really recognise that. I’m going to RTFT now and pray that you have a supportive partner, not that that will always save you from suffering physically or mentally but it’s a huge blessing if you do.

Its only been a week and it sounds traumatic - it will take you time. Both mentally and physically.

I had an emergency C section as my labour failed to progress and there was meconium. It was a shock and I remember feeling a bit lost tbh. That baby is nearly 13 now and loves hearing how she was lifted out of my tummy and was really disgruntled. Basically how she is now when not wanting to wake up or get out of bed.

I do remember feeling like I had somehow failed and really disappointed that I wasn't able to have the water birth I planned. Not as traumatic as your experience admittedly but now I am so much further on it is just a memory.

I definitely think a debrief is a good idea. As well as giving yourself time and being mindful that no matter how your baby got here, they are here safely and healthy.

In terms of going out, build up to it. Do you have any local friends or family that could come with you in the early days whilst you find your feet? Also sounds patronising but not meant but make a fuss of the bigger one being the big sister/brother and helping mummy with the baby.

Best bit of advice I got was to role up a towel and sort of lean into it when laughing - eases the pressure on the lower tummy.

My scar still itches from time to time and before gaining my peri weight was neat with no shelf.

Wishing you all the best x

I was actually happy that, because of my back problems, I was offered a C-section. I went in at 7am and was out of theatre 10 minutes later, with my hair and makeup still intact. I asked them to remove the catheter after 6 hours because I feared an UTI, and I was walking to the toilet six hours later. By day four I was going for long walks, and I was back to running and swimming after six weeks. My stomach regained its flat appearance very quickly, and the scar looks fine and could easily be improved with plastic surgery if I ever fancied it.

So I’m genuinely not sure what you’re so distressed about. The evolutionary trade-off for our enormous brains is that human babies are born with disproportionately large heads, making childbirth inherently difficult and dangerous. Our biology is flawed in that respect. Fortunately, our equally enormous brains have invented C-sections, which can save women who would otherwise die in childbirth. They also tend to go a lot better when scheduled and when you don't have to go through a traumatic birth attempt prior to being rushed into an emergency surgery.

So what exactly are you feeling violated by - the fact that our biology is imperfect, or the life-saving procedure that exists because of it? C-sections are an incredible medical advancement. Thank science for them, and enjoy your baby.

I suppose I might feel violated because unlike you I'd had hours of induced labour with strong, back to back hyper stimulated contractions (again!). I'd been told that as a second time mum this Labour would be easier. The midwife had already switched on the baby receiver thingy in the delivery room and I was looking at it believing that I would see him on there in a matter of minutes. I was so excited after such a hard time with multiple miscarriages.

I then had a matter of minutes to process the fact that I would be having major surgery as my baby was too distressed to attempt the trial by forceps that had initially been explained to me. If I had been wearing makeup, it would have run all down my face as I realised how bad the situation was.

My catheter was also removed early because it was blocked with blood clots due to trauma to my bladder when it was inserted (they think). I too walked to the toilet but my bladder was distended with over 700ml urine and absolute agony to walk.

I think this entire process of medically and surgically managed miscarriages, inductions and finally surgery has left me feeling violated and so confused as to why I couldn't just have my second baby like everyone else I know.

I am extremely grateful to all the doctors who potentially saved my baby's life but the fact that it needed saving in the first place is really upsetting.

Hey just wanted to say …. Give yourself a break and be kind to yourself x you gave birth to a healthy baby and no matter how that came about it’s what matters. The first week after both cs for me was hard but slowly each day does get better. Getting out for some fresh air really helped me - a stroll around the block to start with then further. Have you looked on your local selling sites for a double buggy? Or even put a post on asking for one and you might find you get offered one cheaply x

I think you need to talk this out with someone in real life. A medic ?

Oh my love. I've been there. And if you haven't had a traumatic cat 1, you don't get it. I really think it's because of the feeling of having birth done to you rather than doing it yourself. I've never felt so vulnerable or passive. To be so near to mortality, yours and your baby's, in a moment which should have been suffused with joy is so very difficult.

You must be kind to yourself. This will get better but speak to people in real life and on here and keep processing it. Ask for help. You deserve it.

I think we need to accept, as women, that the biological process of giving birth is extremely flawed and dangerous, and perhaps be much less invested in the idea that vaginal birth is somehow the gold standard.

I would also argue that the NHS is flawed in the way it approaches this. If around one in five women are naturally unable to give birth vaginally, it seems strange to put women through prolonged labour to “test” whether they can do it, only to rush them into major surgery when it becomes clear that they can’t. We should be much more honest from the outset about the limitations of our biology, rather than treating vaginal birth as something every woman should be expected to achieve.

I think you’ve been betrayed less by the C-section itself than by a system that has glamorised a sometimes deadly process, told women that they should all be capable of doing it, and then made them feel as though they’ve somehow failed when they ultimately need major surgery. It’s a very strange game to set women up to play, particularly when the prize for “winning” is simply getting through a process that can kill you.

A traumatic birth is traumatic, a cat 1 CC birth is brutal, and the poster who said the birth is done to you has got it so correct. It does take a while to process and recover, congratulations on your baby, and I hope your feeling better than you was

I see you mention that a trial by forceps was on the cards before the C section. I know that your forceps recovery wasn’t that bad the first time (if I understand correctly?), but just to say that it might not have worked out that way the second time.

My failed ventouse/forceps birth took a good half year to recover from. I spent 5 days in hospital afterwards, went home with a catheter and leg bag which kept leaking, had numerous medical appointments in the next few days after discharge, was readmitted for one night, more appointments after that (my bladder had stopped working because of the trauma). When the bladder “woke up” I was then fully incontinent for weeks. I couldn’t even sit down for months without a gutter cushion, which I took with me everywhere. I had months of intensive pelvic floor rehab - so lucky that I had private health insurance through work to cover it. My lower back went into spasm because of the trauma to the muscles and I could hardly move. No baby classes for me (couldn’t get down on the floor) and the physio advised me not to walk around much until my pelvic floor muscles had recovered a bit. That’s not to mention the 2.9l of blood I lost and the infected stitches from the episiotomy/ tear. It’s lucky this was my first child, because I couldn’t have done all this with a baby and toddler.

As many posters have said before, birth is dangerous because of our biology, not because of something we’ve done wrong, or failed at. After your miscarriages the terror of losing him when the category one was called must have been horrendous. Do consider some trauma counselling. You’ve done amazingly well to get through all this and have your two children. It’s something you should be proud of, not castigating yourself for.

Good grief @thefloorislavayes please could you reread your post and reflect on how it must feel for OP to have read that?! A straightforward planned CS like yours is nothing at all like she’s just been through!

I'm really sorry that sounds so difficult. In the moment, forceps was the 'known' thing for me rather than the C-section but I know I was lucky with my recovery from them.