What gives a midwife the right to say

[finallypregnant]

You are doing fine without an Epidural?

I don't mean that in a horrible way but it appears that my hospital are not really that responsive when you ask for an epidural.

When my time comes, I'd rather not have one but I have read threads on here where the girls have been turned down an epidural because the midwife says they are doing fine!

Surely, it is not the midwife who makes that call but the mum screaming in agony when TENS, G&S and Pethidine are not working?

Obviously if you are at 8-9 cm and they say it is too late then fair enough.

Presumably because there are many disadvantages to having an epidural and when you are not coping you see having an epidural as an istant quick fix when in reality they don't always work that well and may prolong your labour and cause a whole heap more of intervention.

I have 4 dc, 3 with epidurals (twice it really wasn't that effective) and one without.

I don't know, it incenses me too

i have been told twice in the past year by midwives that they would NOT give me an epidural either now or with my last (5th) delivery

purely because i have done it before and they know i CAN

what gives them the right?

Nothing at all Butterfly...personally I would insist on speaking to the properly qualified Obstetrician in that scenario

hmm yes but the obstetrician is not about when you are begging on all fours!

His Specialist Registrar then

I think midwives get hardened as so use to seeing people in pain they lose their sympathy.

fp - can your dp/dh argue on your behalf is necessary

yes handle - i just need to be fierce

Makes me pretty incandescent too.

Yes, I know I CAN survive labour with no epidural. (Dd1 - only anaesthetist on duty busy with woman unexpectedly giving birth in foyer of A&E - fair enough, her need probably greater than mine! - when he eventually got to me it was too late & ineffective)

But I would really rather not have to, & I think the informed decision should be mine to make (subject obviously to emergency situations as above).

Have now done all the childbirth I ever plan to do. It's a relief.

When I saw my midwife last week we were discussing my pain relief options. She asked me what I intend to have, and I said I hope to start off with g&a and then If pain gets too bad I want an epidural. She didnt like that one bit. She was so o o o anti epidural that she actually pissed me off. I said to her, I will not know until the time comes if I def will have it, depending on the pain. I asked her (out of curiousity) what pain relief did she have, and she informed me that she doesnt have any children!!! So what gives her the right to preach to me about having one when she doesnt know the meaning of pain! I hope she is not my midwife when I go into labour because I want someone who will listen to my needs and give me what I want and not what she believes in.

i had 4 natural 5th epidural

the midwife ( she was lovely) said to me ' you have been cheap so far'

I can see both sides of this. With dd I was induced and she was back to back and I literally had to beg the horrible midwife before she would 'let' me have an epidural. The epidural worked when I finally got it thank goodness, but that labour was pretty traumatic as I definately felt the midwives were working against me. With ds 3 weeks ago it was completely different, I had a very quick labour and a lovely midwife throughout who made me believe that I could get through it. After about half an hour of gas and air it popped into my head that I could ask for an epidural, but I was coping and I am sure that it was more the gas and air and the shock of such a quick labour that even made me think about it. It was a fleeting thought that I never vocalised. In this instance, I would like to think that if I had asked for one the midwife would, not have denied me an epidural as such, but rather have encouraged me to change position or try something else first, but my two labours aren't even comperable on the pain scale- the first was wall climbing agony, the second was just amazingly empowering, and I do put this down to a good midwife. I knew I was coping, and the midwife did too (she was an active birth teacher and absolutely fantastic) The bottom line I suppose is that if you get one midwife who is not a champion for you, you are perfectly within your rights to ask for another one. I often wish I had done so with the awful midwife there at dds birth.

Absolutely bloodyweather.

MW with dd2's birth was very 'let us know if & when you want an epidural - you've done it before, you know what works for you'

Which made me feel much more 'Actually, I'm up for seeing how this progresses without'.

Then of course lovely sensible empowering MW went off duty & it all went tits up from then on!

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she knows that the chance of complications increases with epidural use

it is not within her "gift" to give epidurals (though a couple of midwives do now, nottingham is one place i think) and so from a political (with small p) pov the other options are perhaps viewed more favourably (even though in the case of pethidine it only works in 30% of women and even then more as a sedative than a painkiller) - options which are also cheaper

she may, indeed, fail to empathise with a woman in pain

she might, truly think she is doing the right thing for all concerned

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sadly sometimes it is code for 'there isn't anyone available to give you an epidural' which I guess the mw is thinking would be even worse to hear in labour than 'you're coping so well'

pruners v few epidurals are like that now. i retained full sensation and movement with mine, no numbness.

yes the delay if you need an epidural is almost unbearable

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i wouldn't say rare at all, no one in my immediate circle of friends in n/e london had one which stopped them from moving around. nor the people i've interviewed about them

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have to disagree bundle
everyone I know who had one then ended up on the bed pretty much immobile
so round here at least it would be v rare to have one as you describe