More possible homebirth problems

[FrannyandZucchini]

seems a few threads on this atm...

ok my story is that I am not particularly committed to a homebirth (not convinced I actually want one tbh), however I do want the option of labouring at home and possibly delivering if all going well and I feel comfortable etc

have explained this to midwife who says fine fine fine no problems, if that's what you want we can book you in

I have said each time I see her yes I do want to be booked in. She has said right we'll do it, blah blah etc

it is just dawning on me that I am now not going to see her again until I am 37+ weeks and she has not booked me in or done any kind of check or assessment or whatever I hear they like to do when you are having a HB

am I being fobbed off? is this usual?

she also hasn't been through any information with me about bfing, which it states in my notes she must do by a certain time (I am well past the certain time)

what's up? is she just a bit laid back or am I missing out on stuff here?

normally before 37 weeks a risk assessment is carried out in the home and here you are given the on call rota, and the postnatal note folder for the midwife attending to fill in. It's possible she will arange it at 37 weeks but I would phone her just to query and also question about the breastfeeding. some midwives like anybody can be laid back, but I would remind her, IME midwives would prefer to be reminded than have you go without the information you require

I never had a risk assessment at home for BabyDragon's HB and I didn't have any kind of check/assessment per se, although I did have to agree to a growth scan as DS1 was a whopper. A MW dropped off the HB pack after 37 weeks but that was the only time a MW set foot in my house before D-Day.

I had a hb assessment (mw and student mw came round and drank tea) but no on call rota or a postnatal folder. Got the 'pack' at 38 weeks or so. And I never had any talk about bf, I didn't even realise they should do that?
With us they just 'write your name on the board' so that they know what hbs are coming up, and then whoever is on duty comes out.

really Riven? they always insist on checking suitability here, think its all lip service really can't ever imagine someone actually being refused because their abode wasn't suitable.

my brother and sil have been told to clear thewir garage though for emergency access to the property.

I'm 38 weeks on Monday and midwife came at 34 weeks. She had to postpone at one point but insisted on still coming the same week as 'it needed to be sorted'.

At my home visit she went through the risk assessment checklist and told me I was all clear for HB from 37 weeks (unless community MWs called into hospital as very busy). I was given the notes for whoever attends and shown what number to call when I go into labour.

You definitely want to be visited before 37 weeks as from then you are considered 'term'.

I'd call and remind her. Good luck

I would phone and check with her - she has maybe thought that as you're not pushing for a homebirth that you'll end up going into hospital anyway and she can't be bothered with the paperwork, especially if she leaves it long enough.

Wouldn't worry about the breastfeeding though, I personally found all the discussions in advance pretty useless - practical experience was what made sense to me (bf for 13months)

meant to say, have you been to antenatal classes? She might also assume that you've had breastfeeding discussions there?

You at least need the list of things you need if that makes sense. Bizzarely a nice sturdy bucket is one of them and it actually comes in rather useful.

Also one of the things they recommended is a way for the MW to find the house quickly, we put Christmas lights in the window, but still had to send DD (then 9) out to find the second MW who got lost.

I fully recommend a HB it is just so much more relaxed and less stressful than going into hospital and you get to sleep in your own bed afterwards!

Good luck and enjoy it!

no assessment here (and it was April so recently), no rota either- usual phone numbers, maternity pack dropped off at 36 weeks and entonox delivered at 37. They didnt even give me a list of what to get- Doula did that

it seems pretty different everywhere then

I like the xmas lights idea, but then i love fairy lights and would just love the excuse to have them up!!!

apparently they pin up a multimap print off to your house on the board here, which is sensible.

My "discussion" about bfing was how do you intend to feed? Box ticked!

If you're even considering a HB make sure the MW drops off all the kit, especially the gas + air! It's much much better to have everything there, ready at home, then you can change your mind and get yourself to hospital if necessary. I would call the MW and ask her to get the kit deleivered to your home a.s.a.p. I would also ask her for an appointment so you can discuss what you might need at home so that you're ready for a HB. Things like plastic sheets for the floor, old towels, ice cubes, straws etc etc.

In terms of the BFing chat, I really wouldn't worry. As someone else has said, far better just to get on with it once the baby has arrived and learn how to do it along with the baby. Anything you'te told beforehand is likely to go in one ear and straight out the other!

On a final note, really good luck. I hope you manage to have a smooth and wonderful HB. Having tried both options (hosp with DD1, home with DD2) I have to say my memories of DD2's birth are wonderful, it really was the most incredible and empowering experience.

I can't remember a discussion about breastfeeding, all I've found since is a leaflet which never mentions potential difficulties. I say this as someone who never expected to be pushed into formula feeding after a week.

My midwife is getting heartily sick of me reminding her and we've agreed that at 36 weeks we will have a meeting to confirm things (actually she thinks it to decide things but I've already decided).

I object strongly to the whole 'midwifery supervisor must visit' thing - it's patronising. Hey, Jesus was allegedly born in a stable......

Oh and the breastfeeding discussion - there is a form in my notes which is a checklist which they either check as 'discussed' or 'declined' and went something like this:

• do you intend to breastfeed your baby? Yes
• So you know that breastfeeding is good for babies? Yes
• oh hang on a minute you are still breastfeeding your daughter, do you want to carry on with that? Yes.
• Right.....soooo you probably know more about this than me, do you need any more info? Nope.

Seriously, she then ticked all the boxes and that was it. If she's asked in passing, it's considered 'done'

"she has maybe thought that as you're not pushing for a homebirth that you'll end up going into hospital anyway and she can't be bothered with the paperwork, especially if she leaves it long enough"

yes this is what I was wondering
oh dear
I will ring her on Monday

about the bfing, I am not so much worried about not being able to do it - I bf ds for nearly 4 years - just worried in case this is a sign that she is not really bothering to do all the stuff she is meant to with me
it says very clearly on the notes "should be discussed with all women by 32 weeks" and there is a long form to fill in, which hasn't been touched

I am slightly concerned there is other stuff I have missed out on, that I don't know about

thanks all very much for your thoughts and advice

I don't think I had an assessment either ( 2 years ago) ... although the mw did do a home visit to drop stuff off, p'haps she was assessing us then - I think that was around 37 weeks or so.

Fwiw, I got much clearer advice on what I would want/need on here than I did from my mw - she was excellent, but hugely laid-back - she said all I really needed for a home birth was a baby & a working vagina

Btw, I was similar to you - wasn't sure if i wanted a HB or not. It was my mw who encouraged me to go for it, on the policy that I could always change my mind & come into hospital, & it would be no hassle. Whereas deciding I didn't want to would be a PITA.
In the end I had a bleed in early labour & ended up in hospital. But the fact I'd booked in a HB meant that I got the mw who'd been 'on call' for my HB, who then fought for me to go home early etc.

There's a lot they don't bother with when you are a multipara though isn't there. I think they just assume you know it all. My midwife said 'well obviously you'll know when you are in labour right?' Umm no, actually I had a failed induction and caesarian, not a sniff of a natural contraction

Oh, & I was hugely indecisive about the HB, & my midwife explicitly said I didn't need to make final decision until 37 weeks.

Still agree with others that it's worth ringing her & checking she hasn't forgotten you.

Franny - maybe she's not bothering with the BFing chat as she knows you've done it all before, you're obviously pro-BFing, know all the benefits and assumes you'll do it again this time. You don't need her to tell you how beneficial it is .

I do know what you mean about rushing through the notes and ticking things off without necessarily going though items in huge detail - my MW did the same. I think some of the stuff in the notes is there as a bit of a memory-jogger for the MWs and they will go through things in detail if they feel it's necessary (e.g. for a very young-mum who doesn't have a lot of knowledge/support perhaps?). As you've done it all before she may feel it's appropriate to skim through some details. Having said my MW skimmed thorough some elements of the notes, believe me, when it came the time for me to have DD2 she was the most fabulous & supportive MW ever, so don't feel you are being fobbed off - when it comes to the crucial time most MWs are marvellous.

no I mean it would be daft really that they have to go through all the bf stuff in detail

it's just there is this great big form which it says must be dated and signed about a zillion times to make sure it's been done - not just for 1st timers

so there are corners being cut, even if with good reason

just having a wobbler here
I am pretty sure she has no intention of booking me for HB as I have said I am not really committed to it

franny - the midwife should have your previous details so she probably thinks discussing bf with you would be like teaching your granny to suck eggs. My midwife asked me how I was intending to feed for her notes but as it was my 4th she rightly surmised that I was as informed as I was ever going to be.

I'm not sure if I had a risk assessment for HB. I've used the same community midwives for all 4 pregnancies and had my first 2 births at a midwife-led centre. They threatened me with hospital if I didn't keep my iron levels up, so I suppose they monitored that area of risk. I had all my midwife appointments for my last 2 pregnancies at home so they knew where I was and whether it was suitable. They also make sure every midwife at the centre came out to do an appointment so that I'd know them if they turned up for the birth and they'd know where they were going. I never had any kit delivered before the event either, the midwives brought it with them when labour was underway. But in short, I never had a midwive arrive at the house with a clipboard and a large form labelled 'RISK ASSESSMENT'.

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