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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Puffer fish vagina, anyone else?

37 replies

Valleymum18 · 12/10/2025 23:11

Hello everybody,
I am new to Mumsnet, but I will probably not be hidden for much longer.
After six years, I have decided to reach out to other mums to see if I am alone in this experience. Be prepared; you're in for a ride.

Short story long: In 2018, I was pregnant with my child, and at the end of the pregnancy, I was diagnosed with polyhydramnios and was advised that it was safer to be induced before my due date. Mainly because I ate my body weight in food whilst pregnant and became the size of an elephant, and the fluid was starting to affect the baby's heart rate.

On a wet, miserable October Monday, I was brought in to be induced. After two pessaries, a hormone drip, a maximum of four hours of sleep, and a total of 84 hours of induction, I gave birth to my beautiful boy at 2 a.m. on the Friday morning. I suffered a third-degree tear, and I also haemorrhaged 1.2L of blood. My placenta decided it liked my body better than a bodily fluids bin and attached itself to my womb a bit too much.
I was taken in to theatre to be what I can only explain as being fist** by a surgeon to remove it. Legs wide open, and not for the reasons I would have liked, even though that's how I suppose we all got into this situation.
Whilst I was on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, upset and traumatised by the whole situation, I overheard the surgeons say, "I can't get my hand in to stitch as the swelling is so excessive." Now you can imagine the thoughts running across my mind, but I decided that I was maybe thinking too much into it and that swelling is "normal."

All stitched up and back to my room, a few hours later, I mentioned to my husband I felt something was in between my legs because I couldn't close them. My husband made a little joke that it wasn't the first time I couldn't close them and then lifted the blanket up to give me a reassuring check. I was half expecting him to say there is a nipple guard caught between my flaps or maybe it's a big, soggy pad that's rolled up.
Ladies and Theys, if only I had captured my husband's face in that moment. The look of horror that I have only ever witnessed in movies. He asked if maybe he should go grab a midwife to check things over, but I insisted on not bothering them and told him to "man up" and take a photo. To be honest, at this point, I didn't think there was anything that could top the whole experience so far, but boy, was I SWOLLENLY surprised.

He handed me the phone, and I tried to process what I was looking at. At first, I wasn't sure whether maybe they had decided to do gender reassignment surgery on me or if I was the star of a porn movie that specialised in suction.
My labia looked like they had visited the local beautician to get 10ml of filler ready for Ibiza with the gals. I couldn't quite figure out the anatomy. I was even more concerned whether my clitoris had fallen off completely.
I was mortified, worried, upset, but slightly impressed with how feisty she was.

After six days in hospital, multiple doctors from different departments examining me as they had seen "nothing like it in the 20 years they've been in healthcare," I was seen by dermatology. They advised it was probably an allergic reaction and I needed steroids. Twenty-four hours of steroids and she was looking like a cockerel's wattles—not ideal, but we can't be greedy.

I have showed the image to numerous people over the years. It's normally on a night out and shared amongst friends at how bad it was. It's become a running joke between us all, and everyone is quite sick of the sight of it. I kind of wish I had some of that filler back in currently, as I have to tuck the excess back into my knickers regularly.
But I was told by some friends yesterday to get this on Mumsnet and see if anyone else has had a similar experience. Believe it or not, I actually work within Gynaecology now, and a consultant I work with told me that it wasn't an allergic reaction and was indeed related to the excessive fluid and a long induction in a seated position, which makes a lot of sense.

I would love to share the image with you all, as you can see I am a bit of a joker. Too much of an open book to be worried about what people think. Social anxiety hates to see me coming. More so, though, I feel it's very comforting to share my experiences and be so open with other women because a lot of us deal with loads of issues postpartum, and I feel there is no shame.
We all have saggy bits here or there, stitches, holes, marks, or lumps that we don't need to be embarrassed about. I hope you all laugh at this, but if you can take anything away from this experience, it's that no matter how you brought your precious ones into this world—whether it was natural, emergency, or whatever—you all did an amazing job. It's not easy, and it's damn well hard on our bodies. Give yourself grace and never forget to thank your body. Don't be ashamed, ladies, especially when there are people like me walking about with saggy flaps!

Love yous and leave yas 🥰
If anyone wishes to see the image which is slightly explicit. I don't mind sharing it in the comments!

OP posts:
OverlyFragrant · 12/10/2025 23:13

Some things are best not shared.

Valleymum18 · 12/10/2025 23:16

If you don't like what I have written. Remember to be kind and just move on, no need for mean comments.

OP posts:
Valleymum18 · 12/10/2025 23:18

OverlyFragrant · 12/10/2025 23:13

Some things are best not shared.

I fully well acknowledge I am a bit out there and an over sharer. However I also think we shouldn't feel worried about judgement from other women when sharing our issues.Thank you for the feedback though, not taken on board but definitely appreciate it 😊

OP posts:
OverlyFragrant · 12/10/2025 23:23

I never said any mean comments.
Genuinely, no one needs to see something you have so eloquently described.
I used to be a midwife, I'm no stranger to labial odema and am really not bothered by vaginas.
But this is a public forum. Your private photos will become property of Mumsnet. They will be screenshotted and shared. You may even get weird men wanking over them.
As I said, some things are best not shared.

LilacPomPom · 12/10/2025 23:23

This is bloody brilliant - well, the written narrative of the story but not the medical issue. I’m a midwife and I’m used to seeing a variation of different lady areas. Although I’ve seen some very swollen lady gardens just through childbirth alone - I don’t think I’ve seen something quite as you describe. I can only imagine your husband being a little taken aback by something like that and I hope it resolved relatively quickly 😂

DramaLlamacchiato · 12/10/2025 23:26

My labia were quite swollen after I had my eldest, I was prescribed voltarol for the swelling

the joys

DramaLlamacchiato · 12/10/2025 23:27

but I agree, not a good idea to post a photo of your fanny on the internet

Valleymum18 · 12/10/2025 23:29

OverlyFragrant · 12/10/2025 23:23

I never said any mean comments.
Genuinely, no one needs to see something you have so eloquently described.
I used to be a midwife, I'm no stranger to labial odema and am really not bothered by vaginas.
But this is a public forum. Your private photos will become property of Mumsnet. They will be screenshotted and shared. You may even get weird men wanking over them.
As I said, some things are best not shared.

I haven't even posted the photos yet and was only going to post them if anyone was interested but your right I suppose it's best not to. I just thought a bit of comedy about the situation would lighten people's moods. I obviously was mistaken. It's a shame to hear there is still midwives who think women should be more private about their issues and not share with a bit of humor.

OP posts:
Valleymum18 · 12/10/2025 23:30

As suggested by others and I also agree, I will not be sharing the image. I am disappointed for you all! 🤣

OP posts:
OverlyFragrant · 12/10/2025 23:30

Christ woman, I never said "delete your post" or "no speaking about this sort of thing". I advised you not to post photos of your genitals on the Internet.
Since when is that judgemental???

Idontknowhatnametochoose · 12/10/2025 23:31

I appreciated your post op. Im having a rubbish evening and reading your account made me smile. I could also relate to some of it. So thanks for sharing.

wandawaves · 12/10/2025 23:34

Are you an aspiring creative writer OP?

WearyAuldWumman · 12/10/2025 23:36

DramaLlamacchiato · 12/10/2025 23:26

My labia were quite swollen after I had my eldest, I was prescribed voltarol for the swelling

the joys

Voltarol? Did it not...sting?

Valleymum18 · 12/10/2025 23:39

wandawaves · 12/10/2025 23:34

Are you an aspiring creative writer OP?

I am not, just a creative person, who is also lacking a hobby. 😅

OP posts:
Valleymum18 · 12/10/2025 23:40

Idontknowhatnametochoose · 12/10/2025 23:31

I appreciated your post op. Im having a rubbish evening and reading your account made me smile. I could also relate to some of it. So thanks for sharing.

So glad we achieved what I aimed for. Hope you have a brighter day tomorrow! 💛

OP posts:
Bubbles332 · 12/10/2025 23:40

Thank you, I loved reading this!

I also had a 3rd degree tear and a consultant gynae I saw at a follow up appointment drew a beautiful diagram of my undercarriage for me, complete with what looked like a hairy bum hole where he had done little lines to differentiate between the internal and external anal sphincter. I think I am the same type of person as you because I immediately sent it to all of my friends and sometimes show it to people at parties.

DramaLlamacchiato · 12/10/2025 23:41

WearyAuldWumman · 12/10/2025 23:36

Voltarol? Did it not...sting?

Less than going for a piss 😭

Valleymum18 · 12/10/2025 23:42

DramaLlamacchiato · 12/10/2025 23:26

My labia were quite swollen after I had my eldest, I was prescribed voltarol for the swelling

the joys

Sorry to hear you also experienced this. Mine was so excessive I couldn't even wear underwear. I had to keep the catheter in for 6 days. They were so big that they were blistering with pressure.

OP posts:
Valleymum18 · 12/10/2025 23:44

Bubbles332 · 12/10/2025 23:40

Thank you, I loved reading this!

I also had a 3rd degree tear and a consultant gynae I saw at a follow up appointment drew a beautiful diagram of my undercarriage for me, complete with what looked like a hairy bum hole where he had done little lines to differentiate between the internal and external anal sphincter. I think I am the same type of person as you because I immediately sent it to all of my friends and sometimes show it to people at parties.

Oh fantastic! You seem like my type of person. Sorry to hear you also experienced this, I hope your little lady has recovered from the abuse. 🤣🥰

OP posts:
Bubbles332 · 12/10/2025 23:46

She’s getting there. She fell out about a year ago but hoiking her back up with pelvic floor exercises is going well.

Valleymum18 · 12/10/2025 23:48

Bubbles332 · 12/10/2025 23:46

She’s getting there. She fell out about a year ago but hoiking her back up with pelvic floor exercises is going well.

Amazing! Yes stick with the pelvic floor. I luckily work within Gynaecology now and we prepare ladies for surgery. The one thing we always recommend for ladies about to go through any traumatic surgery or changes down below to do PFE. It makes a huge difference to the healing process!

OP posts:
WearyAuldWumman · 12/10/2025 23:48

DramaLlamacchiato · 12/10/2025 23:41

Less than going for a piss 😭

I can't find a suitable emoji... I feel for you.

Manyredpoppies · 13/10/2025 00:02

OP I was absolutely dreadig a meeting I have first thing tomorrow morning and your post made me forget all about it.
Thank you SO much.
Love your sense of humour. And yes I agree we should all share all our misseries pre and post partum.

You are gas, the world needs more people like you.
Massive thanks x

Valleymum18 · 13/10/2025 00:03

Manyredpoppies · 13/10/2025 00:02

OP I was absolutely dreadig a meeting I have first thing tomorrow morning and your post made me forget all about it.
Thank you SO much.
Love your sense of humour. And yes I agree we should all share all our misseries pre and post partum.

You are gas, the world needs more people like you.
Massive thanks x

Thank you so much! Hope your meeting goes well. 💛

OP posts:
tallache1 · 13/10/2025 00:40

‘Social anxiety hates to see me coming’

🤣🤣🤣 OP I fear I am the same as you when I tell people about my episiotomy that went wrong, got infected and actually smelled like something had died in my vagina post partum. Having kids gives you a special kind of ability to not give a fuck about anything anymore, doesn’t it?