Haven’t given birth in a while… remind me how painful labour is?

[skipdiddyskip]

Please don’t be afraid to scare me. Dd was born 3.5 years ago and the labour was a blur. It was unmedicated.

Due to give birth in 4 weeks and have no memory of the pain. It will be unmedicated except gas and air (not trying to be a hero, the birthing centre I’ve chose is an MLU unattached to a hospital so no doctors on site, but a 7 minute hospital transfer if needed).

Please be real with me about the pain of your labour. I don’t remember the pain but do remember feeling really betrayed by descriptions of it being just like period cramps (it was a lot more intense for me….).

I want to have more realistic pain expectations this time.

You know already it’s excruciating (for most)
you’ll have seen it referenced in movies,tv and books as screaming & pushing
Frankly I’d recommend take as much analgesia as you can and be prepared for plans to go off plan

Honestly I think it totally depends on you as a person.

My daughter is 11 months old now and my labour with her was agony, it felt like I’d been set on fire with every contraction I was just in pain absolutely everywhere BUT she was back to back, and I was induced with her which is known to be more painful as the contractions are stronger & closer due to being artificial, my body wasn’t really ready.

On the other hand I have lots of mum friends with same age babies and most of them have really fond memories of labour and can’t wait to do it again. One friend described it as cramps, she’s had 2 amazing water births unmedicated, another friend got to 8cm at home before she felt in enough discomfort to require hospital, another friend found it excruciating from the very beginning and had an epidural ASAP.

It’s so different for each person.

I didn’t find it too bad. Quite liked it actually- esp the high I got after…

Yes it hurts on the moment, but it doesn’t last. Much easier than pregnancy for me.

I’ve had two, both unintentionally unmedicated, after my first the first words to the midwife coaching me through pushing were “well that wasn’t as bad as I was expecting” she quickly told me that was the first time anyone had ever said that to her 😂

I had small babies (6lbs) and short labours (both under 3hrs) which will have definitely helped and I had done a hypnobirthing course that I found was amazing at helping me keep calm and keep on top of my breathing. With my second I went into a total zone and knew what I was doing so felt more in control. My biggest advice it to rest lots the weeks before, focus on yourself feeling happy and calm, keep up daily gentle exercise if you can.

I know I may go against the grain with this but I feel you hear the horror stories shouted far louder than thoes who it has been quite quick and calm.

Pretty sure my pelvic bone was going to disintegrate into dust, such was the pressure on it. Felt like I’d imagine a vice would feel. You couldn’t pay me to do it again.

Can you not have pethidine or similar?
my first drugs free birth was just awful
second one, when I had the drugs, was totally bearable

It's the pressure for me. The pain is manageable but the pressure in your bum is like nothing anyone can understand. However it's great to get the baby finally out and you can bend over and put your own shoes on etc 👌🏻

See I don't find this helpful.
TV shows etc always show the most dramatic, and women lying on their backs, feet in stirrups, is such an outdated way of birthing and it helps no one, least of all mother and baby.

OP, it's different for everyone, it's like asking 'what does sex feel like?' Or 'what does food taste like?' Everyone is different.

I recommend an amazing book called The Positive Birth Book, it goes into it in a non scary, empowering way.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Positive-Birth-Book-Guide-Pregnancy-ebook/dp/B09S3VHGB7/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?adgrpid=168004183184&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.kih60si3mF8xWvE0Q2miA1LUBG-aEa1e5PLSwg1kBdWmjrst6EhWdGfST6JYen5MssNvq71wjTRlmQzrInwIzxFPB6GhvQ_iqowcfy6oGUFJiaY9vsq_VmrVnYSP8HMK9vQfwc4PhM24X2ehHwZUnGAPWAqqtLbwGjJUGEX0qXyKD5_MML-f-EPwhAlN87Gw8AJ2htNXPdPTi3xzWrLYcA.pyKuon-CRUyqyXowCFehdB6OxyBMlSmSEhquyGSi6hs&dib_tag=se&gad_source=1&hvadid=696840165981&hvdev=m&hvexpln=70&hvlocphy=1006837&hvnetw=g&hvocijid=6191504664747640569--&hvqmt=e&hvrand=6191504664747640569&hvtargid=kwd-297030943156&hydadcr=21613_2291907&keywords=the+positive+birth+book&mcid=c054c9cfe5173683b8c1f7c37969d28c&qid=1744217661&sr=8-1

My dds birth 2 years ago was unmedicated and totally fine. She was back to back so my pain was the contractions in my back with no break and the aching cramping sensation in my bum.

I did hypnobirthing and felt in control in my own head and it was fine. Im due ds this summer and plan on doing the same thing.

Not all labours are the same. What one person describes as being set on fire, the most horrific pain they have ever felt another could describe as being uncomfortable and exhausting.

I don't recall pain as such just feeling breathtakingly uncomfortable during contractions....like every bit of sensory overload I've ever felt all rolled into one and feeling like I wanted to crawl out of my own skin.

DC1 - I remember feeling that it was stone-age savage. Like nothing we expect to exist in this modern world. Then I had an epidural (thank you modern world).

DC2 - just like bad diarrhoea really.

My first was excruciating and if you'd handed me a hammer, I'd have put myself out of the misery.

My second didn't hurt at all.

It really is a spectrum.

DC1 - incredible pain in my back throughout entire 24 hours of labour. Every drug going ending with forceps and epidural which only worked down one side of my body.

DC2 - managed with just my tens machine and paracetamol until 8cm. Then gas and air for the birth. Worst part was actually delivering the placenta, it felt like the midwife had her entire arm inside me and was scraping my insides out. At that point I remember thinking am I dying. I don’t know why that bit was so bad.

I had a nasty sickness bug last week. The tummy cramps were way worse than both my labours. An intense feeling when contractions come but not paintful if I didn’t fight it and tense. The pushing bit was a bit yuck and my bum hurt afterwards but nothing awful!

Second babies tend to shorter labours and mine was much less painful. The pushing stage and ring of fire was significantly better. Stay upright as long as possible to try to get gravity to help you. Hope it's all smooth and painless.

Two water births with gas & air, the contractions were very intense and yes they were painful but hypnobirthing techniques (from the positive birth book) helped a lot to get me through them, as did the TENS machine in the early stages of labour. I found the afterbirth pains worse after DC2 though (nobody warned me about that!)

I have given birth twice. Both gas and air only, both back to back and both induced. First one was painful but fine. Second was brutal and I thought I was going to die. I'm not sure if my Memory of the first led to me expecting it to be easy and my expectations were not met. Or it was generally a more painful birth.

First birth I was induced by a pessary. Second was by drip. Second was also very quick 25 min. I think being so quick there was no build up to mentally prepare as the pain got worse either

I think births can be very different. My first was diff and the second was easy, though longer.

I think it depends on the baby. With my dd I felt like someone had sliced open my stomach and poured battery acid on my innards. With ds I’ve had worse head aches!

Fucking painful. The 2nd was much quicker though.

My first was extremely painful but manageable in that I didn’t feel like I lost control or screamed etc

Second was blinding agony. He was bigger and his elbow up over his head. The pain was so bad I spent the final few hours screaming and vomiting. It was horrific.

Sorry 😳

It’s painful but because I knew that it would be there was no fear (as I knew there was nothing wrong) and therefore it was manageable

I had 5 years and 3 months between my 2 births - both unmedicated and it all came flooding back as soon as I got that first contraction lol. Luckily I had short labours with both.

Try not to get yourself too worried about it, it will be fine x

Dd1 back to back labour induced , most painful contractions ever, forceps birth , tear etc awful and I had the epidural ! Second ds massive baby 11lbs, had epidural birth went great then I lost massive amount of blood afterwards , 3rd baby was a dream , only 7lb and spit them out ! Wish I could do it all over again , couldn’t believe how easy I pushed them out ! Minimal pain and I was home less than 12 hours after the birth ! You will be fine x

I didn’t find it that bad at all. I’ve certainly had more painful periods that lasted longer.

DD1 was 18 hours. 12 at home with TENS, breathing and visualisations. 6 in a midwife unit in the pool. She was born in the pool.

DD2 was 12 hours. 10 at home with TENS and looking after DD1. I gave birth to her on a birth mat beside the filling pool! Crowning was definitely more painful on land.

My gallstone pain was far worse than labour and lasted longer.