Haven’t given birth in a while… remind me how painful labour is?

[skipdiddyskip]

Please don’t be afraid to scare me. Dd was born 3.5 years ago and the labour was a blur. It was unmedicated.

Due to give birth in 4 weeks and have no memory of the pain. It will be unmedicated except gas and air (not trying to be a hero, the birthing centre I’ve chose is an MLU unattached to a hospital so no doctors on site, but a 7 minute hospital transfer if needed).

Please be real with me about the pain of your labour. I don’t remember the pain but do remember feeling really betrayed by descriptions of it being just like period cramps (it was a lot more intense for me….).

I want to have more realistic pain expectations this time.

2 births, with gas and air, pain wasn't half as bad as I was expecting. I actually enjoyed both. Now the stitches on dc1 were a whole other matter!!! They had me screaming.

Second labour was a doddle compared to the first. 4hrs from first contraction to birth and less than an hour of active labour. Honestly, she was born in one push. I did both with just gas and air so it was easy to compare. With it being fast, the contractions were intense but far better that than the long pushing stage i had with DD1. My consultant midwife told me that second births (after a first vaginal birth) are often the easiest ones you'll have.

Just go to a proper labour ward where you can get decent analgesia and you'll be in theatre in a minute if something goes wrong. The hypoxic neonatal brain has 3 minutes until bits of it start to die.....

Do you think men would do this ridiculous boasting about who had the least painkillers if they gave birth?

If you’ve already had one straightforward vaginal birth then the odds are in your favour- much much lower chance of complications, low odds of needing a c-section etc compared to a first-timer (and yes before anybody comes at me there will be the odd person that this didn’t apply too but I’m speaking factually and STATISTICALLY)

Oh, dear 😀 I was going to tell you it was like bad period pain - because it was for me. It was like bad period cramps that then progressed to a squeezing feeling. What got me was the length of time these went on for as my first labour was very long. So, it was the duration rather than the pain that wore me out. The actual pushing stage was intense but felt almost less painful in a way because it was productive - something was happening.

My second baby was back to back and that was painful! Like a grinding pressure on my spine. I still managed to push them out though but it stung!

The third was an induction and that was by far the worst pain. I don’t respond well to the induction drip and so it had to be turned really high and it was agony. If you’re not induced, you’ll be on to a winner already as far as I’m concerned!

Pace yourself, breathe - and know you can do it x

Hard to say. I remember with DC2 counting through contractions (literally 1, 2, 3) until the sort of transition stage where the pain was so intense and I was so out of my mind that I literally couldn't count or think straight. Midwife told me to stop screaming (rude) and I had no idea I was screaming. Very quick birth no pain relief. But a great experience, felt like a lioness afterwards. DC1 was hours and hours stuck at 9cm, until I thought "sod this" and had an epidural. Also a great experience, calm and hard work but no pain. Good luck, hope it goes well for you!

If you don't remember the pain of last time, it probably was not horrendous and you have a higher pain tolerance than most. I have given birth twice and yes there was pain, but it wasn't awful and I was also in awe of what my body was doing. Used Tens machine and gas and air with second birth, was great, especially getting into the birthing pool.

The pain was consumed my entire body. I was on my knees. I tried to climb out of my body and touch god as my baby was crowning. I’m not religious at all.

First time was heavily medicated following induction. Monitoring meant had to stay on the bed and couldn't change position at all, forceps and ventouse used
A long day and affected my thinking for subsequent labours

agree with pp who mentioned staying upright as much as possible, I found leaning on the bed or a chairback to help

second and third labours unmedicated and felt in control, focussed on breathing

water births not so available in those days but for third labour felt no desire to be on the bed - seemed so high - and baby was delivered with me on the floor probably lying on a sheet or something but can't remember

Focus on breathing, be calm and let your body guide you, at least that's what worked for me

All the best to you

Like taking the biggest spikiest shit of your life

Apparently it's quicker and easier each time so just remind yourself you can do it! And look at Hypnobirthing

Totally true! DC1 was 4 hours from contractions to birth and DC2 was 2 hours from contractions to birth. I gave birth in a moving car on the way to the hospital. If I have a 3rd I won’t have any warning.

My first was agonising, monitored because of meconium in waters so I was trapped on my back the whole time, I felt like I was being sawn in half (was given gas and air and pethadine).

2nd one, I stayed upright and on my yoga ball as long as possible, felt no pain until contractions got to a few min apart and my mum made me go to hospital - I was fully dilated on arrival and baby was born 20 min later. No drugs and although the last half hour of contractions stopped me in my tracks, I would describe them as painful as such, the only real pain I remember was the crowning stage.

I think it depends on the baby/labour. My first, hell, begged my husband to kill me and meant it. My second, fine, no worse than period pains. My first was back to back and my second was obviously just in a great position (and didn’t have a 98th centile head) so I think it’s just luck to the draw!

It hurts for sure but unless you’re induced it is possible to ride the wave of the pain with the right pain relief and mindset. I was in the birth pool for the transition period which really helped but needed to get out and once I was on all fours on the bed I started hallucinating Micky Mouse counting down from 20 and by the time he got to the end of the countdown the contraction had ended!! This may have been the result of me fully taking advantage of the gas and air though 😂

Like I said, not trying to be a hero. Gave birth the first time in hospital and came home riddled with hospital acquired infections and it’s really put me off.

I don’t take the drugs because I’ve often had awful reactions to them. Last time I was given a drug in hospital I went into full blown anaphylaxis and had to be revived. Not really the staffs fault as they weren’t to know but I’ve also historically had really strong negative reactions to any anaesthetic (days of diarrhoea, past time I vomitted for 10 hours straight, leading to severe dehydration, leading to an even longer hospital stay). All together, hospital is not the best option for me (and for many other people!). My local hospital maternity services under a recent review were also deemed to be in urgent need of improvement, so that wasn’t great…

I found gas & air amazing for my non induced labours . It really took the edge off. Obviously the crowning stage was still painful but the adrenaline got me through. For dc3 I had an induction where I was put on the drip and the gas and air didn't do anything. It was agonising. I was refused an epidural. It really was a horrific labour. Also the after pains were really bad.

I had a planned home birth for my second child after a grim and very medicalised obstetric ward hospital birth with my first. (I had ALL the drugs and hated it ). Second labour still hurt but I did it with no pain relief at all because it was an environment that I felt relaxed in and I assume my body produced loads of oxytocin and my body laboured really effectively. I also kept upright through the labour and gave birth in the very physiologically effective position of kneeling and leaning forward. Didn't even ask for gas and air and I am not the heroic type... A MLU will be set up to keep you from lying on your back in labour (our local one does not have beds for that reason) and will use the usual tricks to get up your oxytocin levels which helps with pain management.
It'll still hurt OP but second births are often easier and faster than first births. I felt on such a high after DD2 was born. If you want a reassuring research based about outcomes at MLU's have a look at the 2011: Birthplace study.

I had three inductions. The first time I was put on a drip and my waters had gone. The pains came very quickly and were absolutely shocking. Remember not being able to breathe with the pain. I had an epidural and gas and air. I still felt the pains, but they were manageable. I remember getting sick. Also got an episiotomy. I nearly had a section. Baby passed meconium and went into the SCBU.

Second time round, another induction by pessary this time. A shorter labour and still painful but I was okay with gas and air. I thought the pushing stage was harder. Episiotomy site tore.

Third time round, another induction by pessary and I had a really awful sweep as well. I thought the pain was worse than my second. I had gas and air. I had a shorter pushing stage than the second time. A graze on my episiotomy site.

I think I was unfortunate having to have three inductions. I tended to go over my dates by ten or eleven days. My first wasn't that late, but my waters broke and I didn't go into labour and I had an induction on the third day. I have had vivid dreams of being back on the labour ward and waking up feeling very relieved! I remember the pains very well although it's fifteen years since the last time. Women are amazing. Good luck op. I

I wasn’t shocked by the pain (thank you tv, movies, friends and family for the warnings!)

But I had not expected it to be such HARD WORK I thought the contractions being sort of involuntary meant my body would just sort of crack on while I endured it but my god I really had to push and work hard. So just reminding you of that too 😁

I did have a chunky baby though so maybe if you cook them smaller you’ll be ok

Haha no, I’m six foot and my husband is taller so we have large babies!

I think it depends on so many factors. My first one was so outrageously bad I thought I was dying. He was back to back, the contractions were irregular and didn't have a proper break between them, so the pain never stopped for the full 36 hours of labour. He was sunny side up and had his little hand up by his face, so he never engaged properly and I got no urge to push. I just had to push him and his arm out myself, it felt exactly like pooing a watermelon. I was traumatised for months 🤣

With the second one the contractions felt like a bad bout of gastric illness and my body shot him out in two big pushes that I was not involved in at all. The high afterwards was unbelievable, like conquering Everest while on heroin.

I'd do the second one again, not so much the first.

Inductions are ten times worse than natural labour. Even the NHS says this on their website, and they’re big fans of underplaying pain (calling sweeps ‘uncomfortable’!). My gran had 4 babies spontaneously, and then an induction for number 5. She said it was absolute agony compared to the first 4, and she never exaggerated.

A 10 for pain - though knowing there is an end to it (unlike illness/injury) made a huge difference to my ability to deal with it. I kept comparing it with climbing a mountain - hard work/painful/exhausting but if you pace yourself you'll get to the top the struggle will stop and the view will be worth it.

Why do you want to remember? 😂

If it helps at all, I had my first without pain relief as my epidural didn’t take & nobody believed me. I had gas & air only with DC2 & DC3 and the pain was nothing compared to DC1.

Labours were much quicker too.