Please tell me - what would you change and what would you do again?

[whinegums]

Hello - almost another top tips thread - but I wondered if you were going through birth and the first few days again, what would you do differently - and what would you do the same? Everything from the serious to the ridiculous please - from pain relief to making sure your make up bag is at the ready!

I'd book an elective caesarean for the actual birth. (If I could!) and a private room for afterwards ( if i could afford it!). I wouldn't change anything about the first few days as ds was a dream just the birth that was a nightmare!

My first everything - booked at a birth center & it was a disaster.

My second - nothing, elective section & private room, heaven.

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Food and water. Didnt actually eat or drink in labour but once Ds was out I drove the midwife insane asking for cup after cup of water until they ran out. And about an hour later I was ravenous and ate the only snack we had - a whole packet of jaffa cakes in about 2 minutes. DH kept asking for one and I was literally growling no at him!

xx

The 2nd time i would have stayed in that extra night and also insisted everyone visited me there.......

Have my bag packed at least 6 weeks before due date and start matrnity leave earlier...

on the off chance i were to do it again (still too traumatized) I would book an elective c section and have a private room for afterwards.

Had 2 waterbirths (positive experiences)

If I would change one thing, it would be to try and 'catch' the baby being actually delivered (as she floated up, IYSWIM)

Don't tumble out of your car as your husband screeches to a halt outside A&E, bend double and clutch a nearby ambulance person round the thighs gasping 'help me, I'm going to have a baby'
Do enjoy the fact that the 2nd time your body does everything better and faster and you at least have an inkling of what's going on
DO spend time to find YOUR rythm with your baby and be sure of yourself - EVERYone has an opinion and 9/10 it's different from yours which can leave you feeling insecure

DS2 arrived 5 minutes after I did, btw. Ambulance people very kindly pressed me into a wheelchair & scooted up to labour ward!

I would hold out instead of induction. Also, ask for epidural asap.

Do again: Don't ask how big do you think the baby might be- believe me my baby was 10lb 8oz= better off not knowing- could manage okay not knowing
change: hold off induction

Keep: homebirth, my Mum staying for a week and doing all the cooking, cleaning, washing etc
Change: get support people there sooner, waiting for them sucks!

when you are home from the hospital and about to get out of bed to do things you previously considered normal, such as hoovering, cleaning, cooking, get back into bed/ onto the sofa, cuddle your baby and eat some chocolate.

I would ask for help post-birth instead of trying to prove to myself that I could do it ( when I couldn't...)
Prepare for bfing pre-birth (idiotic notions that it was "natural" so how would reading about it help...)
I'd like to be as calm as I was pre-labour (ignorance is sooooo relaxing!).
I wouldn't change how supportive DH was throughout.
I would bring baggier trousers and a top for after labour.

i;d have a homebirth, with all my folks and good friends around to meet my new baby as soon as i wanted them to. i would have midwives who i had met and had a rapport with.

i would have a doula. there is no way it is possible to prepare oneself to deal with all the things that can happen. to have had somebody else there to advise me would have made an enormous difference.

I wouldn't have pethadine again. Made me feel totally as if I wasn't in control.

addictedtoharibo LOL LOL! I totally remember being ravenous beyond description, and my lovely friend arrived in the middle of the night (she's a former nurse so somehow knew how to break through the laws) and she brought me great loads of Tropicana.... heaven, fruit and biscuits, thank you for reminding me of that great service she did me!!

missorinoco I agree very much with your post!

I wish I'd held out from naming ds, I'm happy with it now but right after his birth dh pretty much bullied me into confirming it and I suddenly wasn't sure about the name any more. I wish I'd said, here are some possibilties and I want to get to know the baby a bit first before we decide. That's what I'd change.

also I wouldn't change having my wonderful sister with me (she's a mw) she was fab, so was the other mw.

dh was ok but, honestly, if he'd been out in the corridor Like some 50s dad for most of the labour, stinking of coffee - it would have been no loss to me!!!!! Fish and bicycle come to mind.

But seriously, I'm glad for his bonding that he was there but he was not much use to me at all!

For the birth

Would not have pethidine again (much nicer the second time round without it - I remembered the whole labour / birth thing for a start ...

Would definitely ask for an anti-nausea injection again. After DD1 was born I spent hours being sick - so much so that I didn't get to hold her for a long time. With DD2 they immediately offered me an anti-nausea injection as soon as I felt sick and I was able to have cuddles almost straight away. Apparently the sickness is often made worse by the injection they give you to deliver the placenta quickly.

For the first few days, be REALLY STRICT about overnight visitors. I.e. none.

I totally agree specialmagiclady but would go further

NO VISITORS at all until bfing established. dh kept trooping mates into see us and I was trying to get ds to feed, it was SO irritating. There should be a bloody purdah around a new mother (particularly first time mother) that stops over enthusiastic rels/mates from bloody tipping up unannounced/uninvited!!!