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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Please tell me - what would you change and what would you do again?

48 replies

whinegums · 12/05/2008 16:23

Hello - almost another top tips thread - but I wondered if you were going through birth and the first few days again, what would you do differently - and what would you do the same? Everything from the serious to the ridiculous please - from pain relief to making sure your make up bag is at the ready!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

pucca · 12/05/2008 22:01

i would do my pelvic floors throughout pregnancy and beyond! (had a 3rd degree tear!)
i would hire a Doula (crappy mws didn't tell me when to stop pushing hence 3rd degree tear)
i would stay at home as long as possible, should have pushed for a home birth if ok to have one.
would avoid a section at all costs (unless emergency of course) do not understand why people think they are the easy option (had elective with baby no 2 because of previous tear.)Should have had another vaginal birth.

yomellamoHelly · 12/05/2008 22:08

First one NO STITCHES! Would also pass on the gas and air. Would have left hospital straight away and come back for all the blood tests rather than habg round for 3 days.
Second one.
Second one would have let hospital straight away rather than waste whole day hanging round for paediatrician.

yomellamoHelly · 12/05/2008 22:09

And with first would pass on the HV from the start.

yomellamoHelly · 12/05/2008 22:10

Sorry too much wine!

StarlightMcKenzie · 12/05/2008 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Pinkveto · 12/05/2008 22:13

wouldnt like to repeat the post partum bleed, which then kept me in overnight.

but, I also had the most surreal, wonderful night alone with my LO just watching her, holding her, trying to feed her, so perhaps I shouldnt change that. I did have a single room....

LuckySalem · 12/05/2008 22:17

I'd do it again if they could guarantee that this time the baby would be in the right position and I wouldn't be blue-lighted to the hospital for an emergency C-section instead of my lovely homebirth.
OR if they had to do that at least let me shave my own bits and allow me to clean myself up after instead of making me sit in my bed, bleeding (with no pad) sweating and still with that crappy iodine on my stomach!! can you tell I hated the hospital?

Original poster

whinegums · 13/05/2008 12:07

Thanks for these so far. Starlight, what are SHOs?

OP posts:

TheUnsinkableMB · 13/05/2008 12:20

Actually write a birth plan and then tell the midwife to nag me into doing it.

(Felt a bit disappointed with myself for not being a bit more active, just lay there on the bed in a gas and air/diamorphine haze.)
Bloody lovely stuff!

Oh and put some clothes on sooner and not just two minutes before leaving for the hospital.
Socks, shoes, huge belly and contractions just don't mix!

wobbegong · 13/05/2008 12:47

I would ask to hold my baby as soon as she was born. We missed the moment, they wrapped her up, we never thought to question it and so I never held my new baby skin-on-skin. In fact, I hardly held her at all - in my silly zonked-out state I thought she was safer in the little cot, all wrapped up in blankets. I will always regret that.

Bramshott · 13/05/2008 12:54

Don't: spend hours worrying and planning for this eventuality and that, and buying unnecessary supplies.

Do: just go with the flow!

PearTart · 13/05/2008 13:15

Do Again: have active birth, move around loads, not go near a hosp table-bed and refuse to let a doctor come within 100 yards of me.

Not Do Again: hove house with a 3 week old baby, allow nosey aunts to pester me when I needed to establish BF (she never did BF so she didn't understand and she forgot that her generation had 2 weeks in hosp as standard, not 12 hours!) long distance travel with 2 months old (baby was fine, I was not)

In short I'd give myself a lot more time and take less on board.

lesleyella · 13/05/2008 13:27

Get as much sleep as I could before the birth!!!

Definitely have an epidural again

Have my mum to stay again to look after us all

Dont have lots of people coming to visit and expecting feeding and looking after

Beeper · 13/05/2008 14:38

I would NEVER let a consultant talk me into trying for a VBAC again.

numptysmummy · 13/05/2008 14:41

Keep: staying at home for as long as pos
Change : Not staying at local cottage hospital for more than 2 days after the birth. Next time i'd stay for a week if they'd let me! And no visitors for the first few days.

Kimshady · 15/05/2008 21:57

ABSOLUTELY NO STUDENTS
Breastfeed straight away
Oooh yes and the elective c section helped

mumbot · 15/05/2008 22:12

Keep: Tens machine, positive attitude
Change: Take more food, more entertainment for DH, wouldn't have Pethidine again

mumoftwo37 · 15/05/2008 22:24

DS1 would have challenged the MW who said I was pushing when the Cons rang after 12 hours of labour. Not true - he was dragged out in distress 4 hours later. Also, would have insisted MIL came to see me rather than us trek 3 hours up there in the freezing December weather.
DS2 would have changed Cons earlier and insisted I had a cs had I have known I would still be suffering with severe SPD 12 years later!
Do again - make sure that DH was there to support me again (although there will never ever be an "again" ever.)

jessikart · 15/05/2008 23:13

Keep: DS being put straight on my chest less than a second after arriving. The moment where he opened his eyes and looked straight at me was so primal I wouldn't have missed it for anything (we'll gloss over the fact that he pooed all over me about five seconds later).

Change: I should have fought(physically if necessary) all the midwives who kept telling me to put DS on bottlefeeding because he'd lost 9% of his birth weight. Breastfeeding was working well for us until their interference. After that first bottle he never latched on again and the combination of that and the baby blues meant I lost so much confidence in myself and bonding with him because I felt a) a failure and b)that he'd 'rejected' me. I then knackered myself out trying to express every feed for three hourly feeds, when time has shown that DS eats a lot in one sitting and sleeps a lot afterwards (much like his Dad!).

edam · 15/05/2008 23:16

Change - would be nice to actually have a midwife around now and again, rather than one for SEVEN women in labour. Bloody dangerous and responsible for my third-degree tear.

Keep - if I did it again, I'd like to have another no-intervention straightforward birth, please! But with some midwife support, this time. Would love it if both my sisters could be there again but they have children of their own now so doubt it will happen.

Minkus · 16/05/2008 09:11

Would wait to start pushing- mw said "you can start pushing if you like" and I took that to mean "you need to push now". I didn't want to and it felt really really wrong. This time (in about 7 weeks fingers crossed!) I will wait until I get the urge to push before trying to heave a whole human being out of my nether regions!

candyfluff · 16/05/2008 12:18

one word EPIDURAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cadelaide · 16/05/2008 12:19

With all 3 I was told the sex before they were handed to me.

I would love to have looked into their faces first, and then had a look and found out myself.

Dunno why.

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