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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Your healing of forceps and episiotomy

69 replies

anonny55 · 09/01/2025 14:33

If you had forceps and episiotomy what was your healing like?

Did everything go back to looking how it was before after? If so how long did it take?

How was the pain afterwards?

How long did it takes for the pain to reside?

Thanks!

OP posts:
MirandaWest · 10/01/2025 11:57

I had an episiotomy and forceps with DS. My issues were more to do with bleeding afterwards where I needed to be sewn up in theatre and have an epidural (one of the few people to have an epidural after birth!) I had SPD during pregnancy and I think the position my legs were put into to sew me up didn’t help with that.

I found it difficult walking for a few weeks but part of that was probably due to low iron levels and general post birth feeling. I don’t think that the forceps and episiotomy were particularly significant - it was the blood loss that was.

After having DD 2 years later I realised that how I felt after birth wasn’t actually what always happens - her birth was a lot more straightforward and I recovered a lot quicker

anonny55 · 10/01/2025 11:59

@UpUpUpU 38 weeks for an induction for a first timer just seems too early!! But I don't think I have the balls to even attempt to birth a baby who is apparently going to be 9lb at that stage let alone any longer so I wouldn't feel safe pushing induction later either. Sorry to hear how awful you had it..the mental side of it all I would really struggle with!

Same idea for a c section I guess though of course they say it's all worse case scenario but someone has to be that unlucky one - hopefully it wouldn't be me😅

OP posts:
sleepandcoffee · 10/01/2025 12:00

I found recovery from my planned c section a walk in the park compared to forceps and episiotomy perhaps because I was just more mentally prepared for it .
For me the trauma of having a rough birth was the thing I found most tricky to recover from !

Straightomyhead · 10/01/2025 12:01

So I had forceps and episiotomy with my first. The birth was under a spinal so it was fine. Just weird pushing with no contractions.

Healing was quite slow for me. My stitches came apart slightly and there was gapping which took longer to heal. I kept up with pain killers. Don't try and stop these as they really do help.

I didn't have a problem sitting don't but I didn't like it if someone was sitting on the same cushion as me on the sofa in case it moved. Overall I think my recovery was good, just very slow.

If you do end up having forceps, it's not as bad as some people make out and take things really slow in the first few days and then keep up with pain medication for longer than you think.

anonny55 · 10/01/2025 12:01

MirandaWest · 10/01/2025 11:57

I had an episiotomy and forceps with DS. My issues were more to do with bleeding afterwards where I needed to be sewn up in theatre and have an epidural (one of the few people to have an epidural after birth!) I had SPD during pregnancy and I think the position my legs were put into to sew me up didn’t help with that.

I found it difficult walking for a few weeks but part of that was probably due to low iron levels and general post birth feeling. I don’t think that the forceps and episiotomy were particularly significant - it was the blood loss that was.

After having DD 2 years later I realised that how I felt after birth wasn’t actually what always happens - her birth was a lot more straightforward and I recovered a lot quicker

@MirandaWest how did you find going into theatre having not planned or known that were going to happen? Could baby stay with you? Was it scary?

OP posts:
RuthW · 10/01/2025 12:03

Third degree tear also. About 6-8 in pain. 6 months til normal.

PrincessOfPreschool · 10/01/2025 12:03

I had forceps, episiotomy and 3rd degree tear. It was far worse recovery than a C section. I still (19 years later!) have pelvic floor/ control issues. However, two of my closest friends had inductions and painful, but natural births with no significant tears, which is definitely easier to heal from than c section. In fact, I don't know anyone who has quite such a horrific birth as me in my circle of friends/ colleagues. It's very hard to decide what to do. If you have narrow hips (the bare bones not any fat covering!), I think a difficult birth is highly likely. I have a small frame and the GP afterwards stressed I should consider a C section the next time.

anonny55 · 10/01/2025 12:06

@sleepandcoffee I'm just thinking surely having an induction (which I've seen a lot of people say it took 4 days) having to stay in hospital during so no proper sleep or rest..having to spend the evenings going through it alone on a ward until you get a delivery room, baby high risk of getting stuck so maybe needing forceps or emcs in the end anyway..that would all be very traumatic.
I've seen a significant amount of people saying there emcs vs planned cs recoveries were very different and planned cs recovery was a lot easier too

OP posts:
cadburyegg · 10/01/2025 12:09

With ds1 I had an episiotomy but no forceps. Awful recovery - stitches broke down and infection after infection meant it took ages to heal. Certainly 12+ weeks before I felt myself again. It was a huge shock. Doctors did say it was very unusual. When it eventually did heal it healed find although it can still twinge a bit 10 years later.

I seriously considered asking for a c section with ds2 but the thought of recovering from major surgery with a toddler put me off. Fortunately despite being induced I had a much smoother delivery with only a 1st degree tear.

anonny55 · 10/01/2025 12:11

@cadburyegg if you didn't have your toddler to look after (just say your family were having them for the month for scenarios sake) would you have probably went with the cs?

OP posts:
PrincessOfPreschool · 10/01/2025 12:12

anonny55 · 10/01/2025 12:01

@MirandaWest how did you find going into theatre having not planned or known that were going to happen? Could baby stay with you? Was it scary?

Baby stayed with my mum. Husband came with me. The surgery was OK, although I was close to needing a transfusion and very low in iron for some time, so I assume it was bloody. I think they gave me more pain relief. Toileting afterwards was horrendous. I had to bite on a wooden spoon it was so painful. Months after, (I know that because it was our new house so at least 4 months later), I needed to (sorry TMI!) use KY jelly in my anus so that poo could come out more easily. It was awful.

@MirandaWest, I am sorry you had to go through that too. I hope it wasn't too recent. It affected me for a few years (I had PND, not sure whether related) but I had horrible flashbacks and massive anxiety about the birth when I got pregnant again. Luckily it was twins so I had a C section.

MirandaWest · 10/01/2025 12:14

** how did you find going into theatre having not planned or known that were going to happen? Could baby stay with you? Was it scary?

@anonny55 DS was with DH - the two of them got to bond 😊 the anaesthetist went back and forth between the rooms so we both knew the other one was OK. TBH I was probably a bit out of it but enough to realise that what was happening was the right thing and so I just let it happen iyswim.

DS is 21 now so it was a while ago 😊

MirandaWest · 10/01/2025 12:19

PrincessOfPreschool · 10/01/2025 12:12

Baby stayed with my mum. Husband came with me. The surgery was OK, although I was close to needing a transfusion and very low in iron for some time, so I assume it was bloody. I think they gave me more pain relief. Toileting afterwards was horrendous. I had to bite on a wooden spoon it was so painful. Months after, (I know that because it was our new house so at least 4 months later), I needed to (sorry TMI!) use KY jelly in my anus so that poo could come out more easily. It was awful.

@MirandaWest, I am sorry you had to go through that too. I hope it wasn't too recent. It affected me for a few years (I had PND, not sure whether related) but I had horrible flashbacks and massive anxiety about the birth when I got pregnant again. Luckily it was twins so I had a C section.

DS is 21 now so quite a while ago. I did have PND but tbh I think it was ordinary depression that was realised after I had DS. I got pregnant with DD when he was 13 months and my mental health got worse but then was properly treated so by the time DD was born I was in a much better place.

I had a transfusion the day after DS was born as my iron levels were not great. I do remember 2 days after he was born someone coming round in hospital to do a blood test to see if I was anemic (standard one I think) and I said I was sure I was but I didn’t want to have any more tests right then!

MsCactus · 10/01/2025 12:33

I had an induction, ventose and episiotomy.

It was sore for two weeks post birth, so I took ibuprofen and paracetamol, but very manageable. I remember I couldn't kneel down to change the baby on the floor for the first two weeks, but everything else was fine.

Immediately post birth I had some smelly discharge so the GP put me on antibiotics for a few weeks.

Vagina wise it's exactly the same as before - same tightness as before and I can't even see the scar.

I'm hoping for an induction again with my current pregnancy, as I have a really hard end of pregnancy usually

anonny55 · 10/01/2025 12:35

MsCactus · 10/01/2025 12:33

I had an induction, ventose and episiotomy.

It was sore for two weeks post birth, so I took ibuprofen and paracetamol, but very manageable. I remember I couldn't kneel down to change the baby on the floor for the first two weeks, but everything else was fine.

Immediately post birth I had some smelly discharge so the GP put me on antibiotics for a few weeks.

Vagina wise it's exactly the same as before - same tightness as before and I can't even see the scar.

I'm hoping for an induction again with my current pregnancy, as I have a really hard end of pregnancy usually

At how many weeks were you induced? And how much did baby weigh?

OP posts:
Peskydahlias · 10/01/2025 12:47

I've had two births, the first came naturally at 40w, ended up with venteuse and an episiotomy after a long labour and a long time pushing. I found the recovery quite painful, I would say it was about 3 weeks before I could stop the painkillers, walk normally etc. I religiously did my pelvic floor exercises as I'm a runner and netballer and I had been told by my team mates with kids if I wanted to play netball again I needed to do them, lol.

Second birth was a much quicker labour and was a non-assisted delivery, the recovery was much easier. I haven't had a c-section. This baby was much bigger (nearly 10lb).

I wouldn't worry about size of baby so much as how they come if that makes sense, although it sounds like the induction at 38w is something which has been suggested to you.

anonny55 · 10/01/2025 13:48

@Peskydahlias how much did DC1 weigh? From what I understand it's easier to birth a big baby if it's not your 1st..DM has 2 7lb8 baby's first then a 10lb baby. DC1 was an emcs as he got stuck and they couldn't get him out fast enough - his heart rate was dropping dangerously low, Dc2 ventouse and 3rd degree tear , Dc3 (the 10lb baby!) just a first degree tear no intervention. DM is sure that's because it was her second time giving birth naturally!

OP posts:
MsCactus · 10/01/2025 23:27

anonny55 · 10/01/2025 12:35

At how many weeks were you induced? And how much did baby weigh?

Induced at 39 weeks - baby weighed 7lb 8

BlwyddynNewydd · 11/01/2025 00:16

I had an elective c sec for my first, breech baby. Second baby, I went into labour naturally. Baby was back to back until just before I gave birth. I had failed ventouse, then forceps and tore.

It was documented as a 2nd degree tear. I don't think that was correct, as I had bowel issues afterwards. The recovery was horrendous and I still suffer 17 years later.

I would opt for a c sec, and wish I had asked for one second time around.

UnhappyAndYouKnowIt · 11/01/2025 00:39

Well... no. Not the first time around. The stitching was too tight, sex was uncomfortable, and it all felt wrong.

Luckily baby #2 popped things back open enough so it all felt more natural again.

Rainbowscakes · 11/01/2025 00:45

C-section every time. My episiotomy scar hurt for about a year on and off, then even years later sometimes hurts after exercise or near my period.

Burntt · 11/01/2025 02:16

I'd go for c section.

I had episiotomy with forceps. I took longer to heal from that than I did from my emergency c section labour (that one started as induction which was torture in my experience). They sew me up uneven with like an extra new flap, the dr I saw about that said it's really not that bad and they wouldn't do anything about it. Sex hurt still nothing they would do about it. It only stopped hurting after I'd had another baby come out that hole and strech it I to a more comfortable position (natural labour with a 2nd degree tear- by far the least pain after and easiest healing. Episiotomy is so much worse than a tear from my experience).

TediousTim · 11/01/2025 02:45

First baby I had episiotomy and ventouse. I'll be honest, the recovery was not pleasant at all. I had double incontinence for first week or so, and it was very painful to sit, stand and go to the loo. (Lying down was okay). Thinking back, I think they stitched me too tightly. Vaginal prolapse afterwards.
Second baby - small natural tear, no stitches needed. No pain on recovery at all.
Third baby - no tear/grazing. No pain on recovery.

I'd go with the section if I was you.

Disneydatknee88 · 11/01/2025 02:55

I had forceps and episiotomy with my first and I was healed up by 5 weeks. I had a water birth with minimal stitches with my 2nd and it was still 5 weeks recovery. It's a mess down there. Mostly from the first time but I didn't even realise it until I dared to look a few months ago following a thread on here lol. Doesn't feel like it's a mess!

Engineerbynature · 11/01/2025 03:54

I have had both types of deliveries, and they could not have been more different. Of course there is no way to predict whether you would have an easier or more difficult instrumental delivery, but if the latter, it can be very difficult indeed, both on yourself and baby. I would outright refuse any form of instrumental delivery after my experiences. The c-section delivery was far easier on both me and my baby, and it seemed significantly safer for us both.

After a very long and complicated labour, my first child was delivered with ventouse which failed halfway through, then followed by forceps with episiotomy. I tried to refuse instrumental delivery in favour of a c-section, but they made it clear that would not be happening. It was a very chaotic and frightening experience. The baby was almost 9 lbs and in a very strange position, which perhaps made it a more difficult instrumental delivery than others. I had tremendous pain for about 8 weeks afterwards despite being told repeatedly that my stitches were healing well. Walking and sitting were both very difficult during that time. I was still having moderate pelvic pain 6 months later and mild pain several years later. I had rectal prolapse which was resolved eventually but still have a lasting rectocele. I did do pelvic floor PT eventually which finally helped resolve some of the lingering pain.

The other factor to consider is which delivery might be less risky for baby. As bad as the delivery and recovery was for me, the hardest part was actually the effects on my baby. He had severe lacerations on his face from the forceps, including one over his eye which caused it to swell shut. They weren't sure for some time whether it had affected that eye. Also he had a huge wound on the top of his head from the ventouse cup along with swelling. They had to monitor the swelling as whilst some swelling is normal, his was quite extreme and worsening. He quickly developed bad jaundice which was almost certainly exacerbated by the wounds he sustained. He needed 5 days of double phototherapy, and it had gotten so bad at one point that they were discussing performing a complete blood transfusion with us. Luckily, he had a sudden improvement on the 5th day, and it was not necessary. He was a very unhappy newborn and seemed to me to be in a lot of pain himself, as more often than not he was completely inconsolable with a very shrill cry. He was extremely sensitive to anything touching his head for months.

We were in the hospital for 6 days after delivery, and I was an emotional wreck, both because of how awful delivery was and for being terrified for my baby's sake during that time. We could not hold him to comfort him properly, as he had to stay in the incubator under light therapy.

My second child was an elective c-section, after I demanded one. I actually can't imagine a more lovely experience. The delivery was calm and peaceful. I was able to walk and sit better almost immediately after the spinal block wore off. I was getting around far better at 1 week post c-section than at 6 weeks post-instrumental delivery. My total pain throughout this delivery and recovery was probably well under 1% that I experienced with my first delivery and recovery. Baby cried for normal newborn reasons and not constantly inconsolably as my first had. It was lovely to be able to just enjoy those first days and to bond with baby after delivery.

Requesting an elective c-section for my second was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

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