Is this typical of a first birth experience? My story.

[MistressMary]

Sorry in advance or to drone on, but want to know if this is what is classed as a typical first birth experience?

I was due for an induction later on the same day at ten days over. At 12.30am I woke up in pain, quickly waddled to the loo, and my waters broke, slightly pink in colour and then a pain similar to cystitis followed. Ten minutes later the same pain came again.

I rang up the maternity unit and the midwife told me to try and sleep and to come in in the morning. However, the contractions were coming every two in 10 minutes, so two hours later I rang back. I had a contraction while on the phone, which lasted about 30 seconds. The midwife told me I could ring back later on if I was concerned. At 5.30am I rang in again; the contractions were getting stronger and lasting slightly longer - I spent the night sat on the loo, with other half sleeping through it all!

Arriving at the hospital at 6am , I was checked over and found out I was 4cm dilated. So the birth pool was filled and in I got, lovely, music, spinning disco ball and calm. I had to get out as I needed to poo! And that's how I felt for the duration. Most of the morning, I was sat on the loo, with my gas and air getting high!

The midwife examined me at 10am and I was fully dilated! But then she found a small part of my cervix lip which was in the way of the baby's head. So I was put onto my left side, contracting every three in 10 minutes! The urge to push was unbearable. She checked again at midday - still the cervix was in the way, just a fraction! Then she said she could see a head full of hair, but I couldn't push as I wasn't ready for the second stage. The contractions were awful and I was screaming the place out!

At 1.30pm two other midwives came to examine me and a decision was made for a transfer to Bath hospital. I was gutted. She said if I had the baby in the ambulance on the way I could turn around and come back to Trowbridge hospital! So in the ambulance with the midwife I got, screaming all the way, gas and air useless now. Wheeled into a delivery suite, I was examined again and put on a monitor. The contractions had slowed right down and so had JJ's heartbeat. We were both tired.

A drip was put into my arm to speed the contractions up, no pain relief was offered - I asked them, believe me, but it was too late! Wow, they came in powerful and close straight away. I was told to push, as I was fully dilated. The baby was face up, though, back to back, which hindered things. A doctor was called with two other midwives and the stirrups were put in place. Out came the ventouse, which they tried unsuccesfully for three times! I was swearing at them, 'What the feck do think you're doing?' It was the most awful pain!

I was pushing like mad and no result. So then they got those forceps out. I was crying and I just wanted it over and they were telling me that it had to be now! The midwife also performed a cut on my perineum. After a few good pushes and lots and lots of support JJ arrived at 4.25pm, face up and cord wrapped around neck once, weighing 8lb 4ozs.

The midwife wouldn't tell me how many stitches I had - she called it a running stitch. I know it was very sore. After staying one night in Bath, we were allowed to go back to Trowbridge. My partner had to take me and JJ - this is the policy. I stayed there for nearly a week and was really looked after there.

Thanks if you got that far, any thoughts?

Hi MM,

Get back onto the hospital. No way should it be taking all this time. If you are having flashbacks and are upset watching birth programmes then you may have post traumatic stress disorder which I think is common in Mums who have gone through a birth like yours.

I can't really add to the excellent reply bu mears as I haven't been a midwife for three years. I suspect thought that the comment the midwife made about knowing your baby would be trouble was a throwaway one - not perhaps the best of remarks given what you'd gone through but probably well meant.
The baby lying in a back to back (face upwards) position is notorious for that urge to bear down before full dilation of the cervix and may have contributed to that lip of cervix you had at the end, you couldn't have prevented it - just one of those things. It's a shame though that the midwife did not suggest that you walk around a bit to see if that would help - or even on all fours with your bum in the air (not the most elegant of positions I know but sometimes takes that awful pressure off the cervix allowing it to dilate.

The epidural question i can't answer as I wasn't there. It may be that they thought it would take too long to set up and your baby was too tired to wait - I'm only guessing though.

More than anything you need to sit down with the notes and preferably the midwife who cared for you so that she can explain why certain decisions were made when they were - and likewise with the care at Bath.
I have not been a midwife for the past three years so don't know current statistics but I would say at least 50% of first labours experience some form of intervention - not that all have the dreadful experience you had. I have to admit that as a midwife myself my biggest fear was a forceps delivery so I can only sympathise with you . I ended up with a section for a failed induction - my baby was also back to back and I spent all the night before the section decision was made sitting on the loo trying to push! Hideous.

Anyway - a long post but I'll end as I started - ring the hospital and tell them you are still waiting - ask for the midwifery manager and tell her you are having flashbacks and it's upsetting you.

Mandy

MIstress Mary just a quickie but to let you know your birth was a lot like my first - horrible, with undiagnosed transverse baby with high forceps and ventouse and no pain relieve. I defintely had lots of unresolved trauma. My hospital runs a counselling service where you can talk about your birth with a midwife, it really helped me and the birth of dd2 was amazing and straightforward and fab and laid so many ghosts to rest xxx E

I really appreciate all the imput you guys have, really!
And I hope this helps other people too.
Going back to my original question "Is this typical? " I would agree that there seems to be a lot of diificult first births, out there and surely a degree of this could be avoided.
I only can think the Epidurial question was like you say Mandy, to do with timing etc.
And the remark was indeed a throwaway but not very appropriate one too.

In the meantime I am going to see if there are any local groups in the area for this kind of thing, or if anyone here knows maybe?
West country area it is?
Again so much thanks to you all!!

Misschief - I had nasty problems with my stitches too. They didn't heal! I had several sessions of cauterisation, which didn't work, and eventually had to have them re-done under GA. Not fun at all. Even after the repair had healed I still had a lot of pain, which nobody could understand. I went from gyne to gyne, refered up and up, and everyone said 'oh it's healed up fine, there's absolutely nothing wrong with the places that you say hurt'. Evenutally I couldn't bear to be mauled about any more so just let it be. But it was rather horrible (quite frankly, I'm amazed we managed to conceive no2). But (joy and wonder! ) after I healed up from no2's birth, the pain was gone! I tore along the scar, but healed without any problems (other than a bout of thrush). Sooooo relieved.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that the same process that damaged you can actually help to repair that damage. I started a thread about it when I was pg with no2 and very worried what was going to happen to my precious bits, and was relieved to find that it's quit common or the the following birth to repair the damage of the previous birth.

MM, just to add, I went through counselling for my PTSD after the birth. THey also put me on Zoloft which is more for depression, but at first I was diagnosed with PND rather than the PN PTSD. I do think the Zoloft helped too though. Another thing I did which was helpful was to get my records and then lodge a formal complaint. It's a little different here in the states than the UK I know but I think you can do that there too. There is a fab website on birth trauma too. Will try to find the link for you.

MM, just to add, I went through counselling for my PTSD after the birth. THey also put me on Zoloft which is more for depression, but at first I was diagnosed with PND rather than the PN PTSD. I do think the Zoloft helped too though. Another thing I did which was helpful was to get my records and then lodge a formal complaint. It's a little different here in the states than the UK I know but I think you can do that there too. There is a fab website on birth trauma too. Will try to find the link for you.

here

mistressmary - just found this thread.
My DD1 was born in the Bath Royal Hospital - and it was horrendous. I had wanted her to be born in my local "cottage hospital" but they decided it had gone on for too long and needed to be transferred.
The staff were just appalling. I was transferred mainly because I did not want pethidene but was talked into agreeing to an epidural so made to go into Bath. We were not offered an ambulance, told we needed to find our own transport - despite being in established labour for a long time. Awful long 40 minute journey through city centre. Arrived and they dismissed my request for an epidural telling me that it was "unnecessary" and then going on to break my waters (without expressly asking me). Unprepared for the pain, I took the only relief they would offer me - pethidene, exactly what I didn?t want. I felt out of control, patronised and scared. I spent a lot of time half naked with the doors open and loads of people wandering in and out, no-one introduced to us properly and a lot fo talking over me as they treated me as if I were "out of it" and my Dh not counting. To cut a horrible few hours short, they resorted to more and more intervention as my baby got distressed (no doubt partly due to my own distress) and resorted to ventouse. She was so bruised, I took weeks and weeks to heal (GP told me that my bruising was much more than normal ventouse deliveries).
For my next baby, I had moved areas, fortunately, and had a different team and were supportive of a home birth. I was so traumatised after Bath Royal Infirmary that I could not bear the idea of a hospital birth. Home birth did get transferred but 99% at home and this time they were lovely. If you have any more chidlren, go to a different hospital would be my honest personal advice.
(At Bath I was given an episiotomy without being asked - they later said that they had no time to consult me and in such pressured working conditions, I had to expect them to make certain decisions for me...")

Fabulous link jabberwocky. SK is very good.

thanks added to my faves!

Bathmummy sounds abysmal!

did you get/ask for your your notes?

Yes, I love that site. I even used some of the articles in my complaint as references since not many people around here seem to know much about PN PTSD.

Message withdrawn

mm - yes, I got my notes and went through them with my mw. Wish I had photocopied them and delat with them when I was more rational. When I went through them, I felt that they gave only one half of the true picture as it was just listing the decisions and timings. This did throw up a few important issues like being given pethidene so close to giving birth, birth plan not read or even consulted but the mw was defensive of her colleagues and had an answer for everything I put to her. Was so emotional and couldn?t stop crying when i went through it. She told me that I was naturally very sensitive, she understood I was upset and that it would all feel much less an issue once my hormones settled and I focussed on my baby rather than my birth.
I was angry and let down by my notes. TBH, they can never reflect your emotions, the lack of respect or kindness shown to you, the way people walk in and out unintroduced etc. It is all couched in mdeical fact and little about the person. If you feel their specific medical actions were negligent then I guess the notes would be of value, but in my case they got me nowhere to experiencing closure, just upset me again reliving it.
I was also made to feel that I was a bit of a wimp getting so upset over it all and that I was wrong to be fixated on the birth and should focus on my baby.

I only got over the trauma and put all the feelings to rest about three years later when my second child was born and I went through my notes with a wonderful caring mw. I broke my heart and the porr woman found that rather than discussing my (less than perfect but so much better) second birth, all I could talk about was how terrible my first labour and birth had been. It all came pouring out, like grief. I realised that the trauma had left me feeling so guilty as a mum for many reasons - not sticking up for myself and my baby in the hospital and stopping pethidene etc. that I carried it around like a secret feeling of failure. Rather dramatic I know but it is how I felt.
I am amazed that it took three years and another labour and birth for me to be able to deal with it finally and leave it behind.
I took ages to bond with my DD1 and yet found instant calm and wonderful bonding feelings with DD2. This has had all sorts of emotional impacts on me worrying about DD1 missing out somehow. Whilst still angry as I hold the Royal United Hospital responsible (get all the hospital names muddled - been to too many different ones recently visiting family) I have moved on and am just relieved that I have two beautiful children who I love very much.'

oops - that was meant to be a smily but DD2 hit the keyboard and got a funny little mark instead so here is my "love my children" smiley 'smile'

• this one will work I hoper

Thanks for that. When I do get my notes I shall be a little more keyed up for it now. Not be fobbed off, glad you have your children though and over the worst.

I just wanted to say thanks for the kind messages on Tues/yesterday - sorry couldn't get on net till now. It's nice to feel such support, though horrible to realise how common bad birth experiences are. I'm seriously considering c/section now but have time to re-consider if I change my mind, see what consultant says in a few weeks.
Good luck with getting your notes MM.

bathmummy - that's awful! The purpose of that discussion with the mw was surely to help you come to terms with what had happened , rather than for the mw to defend her decisions. I'm really sad that you had that sort of experience, but glad that you feel your second birthing helped to resolve things. Until I had given birth myself, I too would have thought that the past was not an issue, that we should concentrate on the baby and forget any birthing trauma, but having gone through it myself I find I have completely changed my mind!

Hi MM,

One more data point for your survey! Reading this thread has definitely given me flashbacks to the birth of my DS (now 3). First birth, I labour at home for 13 hours, get into hosp at 5cm dilated (although straightforward anterior positioning) get to 9.9cm dilated within another 5 hours and stick!

This is the big maternity unit for the area, so no need to transfer and they let me carry on labouring (like you, I had the urge to push but wasn't allowed to) for 3 hours to try and shift the 'lip' of cervix. They broke my waters, tried a manual retraction, nothing worked.

We had a different experience after this: they then augmented my labour with Syntocin and also gave me an epidural while the lip was still there. As mears suggested, I think they partly wanted me to gather my strength a bit (I slept for a while after the epidural) so I could push a bit more efficiently and also, in honesty after dealing ok with the pain for nearly 23 hours I didn't think I could take the extra pain I knew the Syntocin would bring. DS was born at the end with an hour of pushing and no intervention, beyond stitching a small natural tear.

So, it seems the transfer thing made a difference to the quality of care that I experienced.

At the time I didn't really think my experience was an extreme one (for example, compared to yours!) but looking back on it, I had a compulsion to tell people about it (much to my DH's embarrassment ) and a compulsion to hear all about my friend's experiences. I also had mild PND so maybe it affected me more than I realised.

Just read it (didn't read replies)
It is somewhat typical, I can see they tried to get your anterior lip to shift, I would have tried different things myself.... an anterior lip is common.
That baby does seem to have been well stuck - hence I would have done something like this :

Reversing the Chi

by Dot Parry

From "Midwifery Matters" Issue no.98 Autumn 2003

I'd read about a technique called "Reversing the Chi" in an e-mail edition of Midwifery Today. I filed the information in my mind and never really expected to use it.

ONE VERY BUSY NIGHT on our hospital's main delivery unit, I was assigned to care for "June", a woman having her first baby. I had cared for June on the previous night shift since when she had been in active labour. I was told that June would be taken for a caesarean section as soon as it was possible, but that the theatre was in use and there was no rush as the baby was OK. An obstetrician had examined June an hour or so before and her cervix was said to be 7cm dilated with the baby in an occiputo posterior position with a deflexed head. There had been no change since the last examination three hours before despite a syntocinon infusion. The syntocinon had been turned off as it was having no effect and it seemed cruel to continue since the decision to perform a caesarean section had been made.

I went in to June and re-introduced myself to her and her family. She had been supported throughout by her partner "Steve", and by her mum. Her supporters were in very low spirits. They were absolutely exhausted and told me so in no uncertain terms: "How much longer will we have to wait?" they complained.

June was sitting on a chair beside the hospital bed leaning on a pile of pillows - a position she had found very comfortable the night before. She had been using entonox since 6 am. It was now 10pm and I was amazed she had the energy to work the entonox valve for 16 hours and to still be upright. She had chosen not to have pethidine and had declined an epidural. I sat next to her and tried to chat to her between contractions. She was still in good heart and felt that she had been well supported by her midwives through the day to do all she could to birth this baby. But we kept being interrupted by the moaning supporters and I began to feel they were really draining June's energy and positivity.

I listened to the fetal heart which was reactive and a similar baseline to when I had gone to my bed at 8am - so I agreed with the obstetrician on one thing - there was no rush to get this baby out.

My next priority was to change the energy in the room. I asked Steve and June's mum if they had had any tea - they hadn't, so I suggested Steve order a pizza for them to share. I said I didn't want him fainting from hunger in the operating theatre! Steve went off to organise the pizza and mum went for some cold cans of pop from the machine. Sadly it was not really appropriate to feed June as I knew she was going to theatre shortly. Once Steve and mum were eating, their spirits lifted and the mood started to change.

It was now after 11pm and June had been having strong, regular contractions since I had come in the room two hours earlier. I was wondering if she could have made any more progress and was glad when she asked me to check her cervix to see if she had got any further.

On vaginal examination I found her cervix to be fully dilated but the head transverse and at the ischial spines. She had been feeling some urges to push but had resisted them as she thought she was imagining it. For the next hour or so we tried another trip to the toilet, some changes in position and a little bit of pushing when she felt she needed to. Throughout all this the baby's heartbeat gave no cause for concern.

The situation on the delivery suite had deteriorated as women with more problems occupied the rest of the staff including the doctors. I kept the midwife co-ordinator informed about how June and her baby were doing. I guessed we might get our turn in theatre in another couple of hours, all being well.

At 1am June requested another vaginal examination to see if the baby had moved at all. The baby's position was almost exactly the same as before. It felt like we were really and truly stuck. The mood of despondency was returning and June was getting very tired indeed. I decided we needed to try something else and reversing the Chi was all I could think of.

I told June that for the next half an hour she should lie on her left side and avoid pushing altogether even if she really wanted to. I told her that instead, every time she got a contraction I wanted her to pull her baby up towards her throat. She nodded as if this was completely reasonable and made perfect sense. I didn't really think it would work at all, I still felt I was buying time and that soon we would be on our way to theatre. I stifled my doubts by focusing on the supporters, getting them to say positive things again and stop looking at their watches! For the next three contractions June had a look of deep concentration on her face. She had put the entonox down and was totally focused on pulling her baby back out of her pelvis. She didn't use her hands, the effort was all internal, but she was definitely trying to do something. After the third contraction she started getting uncomfortable and said she needed to stand up again. She got off the bed, did two or three high sideways leg lifts with alternate legs and shouted, "It's coming!"

I went and sat behind her on the floor and was delighted to see a thick head of hair advancing gradually, then a lovely little face and moments later I was passing June's baby to her. That woman, that amazing woman, was still standing, still strong. The look on her face was one of pure female power - it was primal and beautiful. I will never forget it.

About half an hour later as June was suckling her beautiful daughter, I popped out of the room to make some tea and toast for everybody. The exhausted registrar saw me and apologised for the delay: "Just give us a few minutes to clean theatre and we'll do your girl."

You can imagine the look of pride and joy on my face when I told her that thanks, that wouldn't be necessary! When I told her later how we had "reversed the Chi," she said, "B**cks!" But you could tell she was thinking about it.

When I was on the bed I was on my left side and she told me not to push. but she didn't come up with pull the baby back in reverse.
Maybe that would have been much better!