Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Is this typical of a first birth experience? My story.

96 replies

MistressMary · 07/01/2005 23:26

Sorry in advance or to drone on, but want to know if this is what is classed as a typical first birth experience?

I was due for an induction later on the same day at ten days over. At 12.30am I woke up in pain, quickly waddled to the loo, and my waters broke, slightly pink in colour and then a pain similar to cystitis followed. Ten minutes later the same pain came again.

I rang up the maternity unit and the midwife told me to try and sleep and to come in in the morning. However, the contractions were coming every two in 10 minutes, so two hours later I rang back. I had a contraction while on the phone, which lasted about 30 seconds. The midwife told me I could ring back later on if I was concerned. At 5.30am I rang in again; the contractions were getting stronger and lasting slightly longer - I spent the night sat on the loo, with other half sleeping through it all!

Arriving at the hospital at 6am , I was checked over and found out I was 4cm dilated. So the birth pool was filled and in I got, lovely, music, spinning disco ball and calm. I had to get out as I needed to poo! And that's how I felt for the duration. Most of the morning, I was sat on the loo, with my gas and air getting high!

The midwife examined me at 10am and I was fully dilated! But then she found a small part of my cervix lip which was in the way of the baby's head. So I was put onto my left side, contracting every three in 10 minutes! The urge to push was unbearable. She checked again at midday - still the cervix was in the way, just a fraction! Then she said she could see a head full of hair, but I couldn't push as I wasn't ready for the second stage. The contractions were awful and I was screaming the place out!

At 1.30pm two other midwives came to examine me and a decision was made for a transfer to Bath hospital. I was gutted. She said if I had the baby in the ambulance on the way I could turn around and come back to Trowbridge hospital! So in the ambulance with the midwife I got, screaming all the way, gas and air useless now. Wheeled into a delivery suite, I was examined again and put on a monitor. The contractions had slowed right down and so had JJ's heartbeat. We were both tired.

A drip was put into my arm to speed the contractions up, no pain relief was offered - I asked them, believe me, but it was too late! Wow, they came in powerful and close straight away. I was told to push, as I was fully dilated. The baby was face up, though, back to back, which hindered things. A doctor was called with two other midwives and the stirrups were put in place. Out came the ventouse, which they tried unsuccesfully for three times! I was swearing at them, 'What the feck do think you're doing?' It was the most awful pain!

I was pushing like mad and no result. So then they got those forceps out. I was crying and I just wanted it over and they were telling me that it had to be now! The midwife also performed a cut on my perineum. After a few good pushes and lots and lots of support JJ arrived at 4.25pm, face up and cord wrapped around neck once, weighing 8lb 4ozs.

The midwife wouldn't tell me how many stitches I had - she called it a running stitch. I know it was very sore. After staying one night in Bath, we were allowed to go back to Trowbridge. My partner had to take me and JJ - this is the policy. I stayed there for nearly a week and was really looked after there.

Thanks if you got that far, any thoughts?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
aloha · 09/01/2005 17:36

Oooh, I would love to be chucked out a day and a half after my c-section. I hope I can be. Don't fancy being away from ds, dh and my bed for too long.
MM sorry you had such a horrible time. Hope this thread has helped.

MistressMary · 09/01/2005 18:53

Oh gosh thanks mears a million!!

The small unit was not geared up for drugs only gas and air and tens.

At the time I wanted to be at the small unit and booked in there.

Thats why I said maybe I should have booked Bath in the first place.

Idea of a simple water birth! Daft mare I am.

The transfer was about 20 minutes, I spose.

Epidurial "because it was too late!" that's what I was told and all I can remember them saying.

Yes I need to know if that midwife knew "he was going to give me trouble," she should have there and then and got me transferred straight a way.

I felt I needed to poo all the time,and felt most comfy on the loo!

Thanks for posting your reply again.

OP posts:
Lowryn · 09/01/2005 19:27

Hiya, just wanted to say that with both my children I had a pesky cervix! The damn thing wouldn't dilate to 10cm. It would get all the way but leave a tiny lip that wouldn't get out of the blinking way!
Both times I had the urge to push but was told to breathe through it...Agony!

triceratops · 09/01/2005 19:58

MM so sorry to hear about your experience - it sounds terrifying and so painful. I had flashbacks for months after giving birth even though it was very straightforward really esp compared to yours.

I was induced due to no contractions and waters gone 24hrs. They had me hooked up the the drip and got the foetal monitors all strapped on and I instantly said "you're going to have to take all that off I need a poo" they started fiddling around with the stuff and I just announced "don't bother I am going to do it here right NOW" - very shocked looks all round , dh looked as though he wanted the floor to open up needless to say it wasn't a poo it was ds ready to arrive.

PrettyCandles · 10/01/2005 14:55

In my experience (and I think many other mothers will agree) having a 'good' second birthing wipes away the distress of a 'bad' birthing. 'good' and 'bad' aren't really the right words to use - perhaps 'happy' and 'distressing' would be better.

Second births are generally much faster and easier (you've been stretched already ). I had a long pre-labour stage again, but not as long as the first time, and gave birth within an hour of arriving in hospital, with about 15-20m seocnd stage. Masses of stitching again, but this time around merely unpleasant rather than traumatic.

The first time around I had the confidence of ignorance, but the second time I had the confidence of 'I've done it before and I can do it again'. But what made the biggest difference was having had that de-brief with the specialist midwife - I really cannot recommend such a course of action highly enough.

Levanna · 11/01/2005 02:32

I like the terms Prettycandles has used. 'Distressing' is apt for DD1s birth and 'Happy' for DD2's. I don't think I really got over the distressing aspects of DD1's birth until I gave birth to DD2 at home (planned). DD1 and I didnt have anywhere near the severity of problems others have had here, but I do think it's a matter of perspective and perception.
MistressMary, nothing that happened was your fault. At a time when we're most vulnerable we place our trust regarding the most important event and person in our lives, in people we believe to be 'experts' in a sence. Which of course, is entirely reasonable, normal and usual! I'm sure revisiting your hospital notes will help answer some of your questions and I hope it helps to settle your mind a little.
Wanting to poo is quite normal for a lot of ladies I think. I have a friend who when she gave birth to her baby thought she had pooed, rather than given birth! It isn't surprising that sitting on the loo throughout labour was comfortable for you, after all, a toilet seat is not unlike a birthing stool. My sister's DD was positioned OP, and she too found this the most comfortable position .

MistressMary · 11/01/2005 23:17

Well if there is a next time, I'm sure it would be different, we would be much wiser and a bit more vocal in the decisions too.
That's a good thing to learn out of this and I would be aware of the pain and the first birth was a very messy blueprint.

OP posts:
MistressMary · 28/01/2005 20:30

Update.

Ok I am still waiting for my notes.
I'm going uop a level now and going to start pressuring people to produce them.
In the meantime I am watching these Dicovery Health birth stories and it's a rabbit caught in headlights situatuion for me.
I get upset watching them but I also am sat there thinking and trying to find something that sounds similar.
It just ends up with me being tearful and having flashbacks though.

I am trying to come with questions too to ask them.

1 Why in particular did I not get an epidurial?
2.Was it not possible to get me to Bath RUH, straight away, when they saw his head in the morning and problem with lip of cervix?
3.Was there any other pain relief I could have recieved other than an epidurial?
What would have happened if the forceps didn't work?
Was the drip removed once the contractions were back in full swing?
Does a baby have to right itself before being delivered?
Would have a cesarian been a better option?
What per centage of first birth are like this?

Anyone else with things I could ask?
I am greatful.

OP posts:
MistressMary · 28/01/2005 20:31

Apologise for the terrible grammar.

OP posts:
MistressMary · 29/01/2005 10:53

bump

OP posts:
MistressMary · 31/01/2005 16:09

And again

OP posts:
jessicasmummy · 31/01/2005 16:16

i feel for you MM - i was originally booked into frome.... then got scared and swapped to salisbury. glad i did tho.... epidural was fantastic.... we shall talk more next week xxx

Lonelymum · 31/01/2005 16:19

I have only just seen this thread, and read out your original post to dh. The beginning is different, but the end (from Bath hosp on) reads pretty similar to the birth of my first baby. He was also posterior and weighed 8lb 6oz (so similar size) and was delivered with only G&A and pethidine (useless!) with forceps. I also felt, like you, very distressed by the birth and what had happened. It lived with me for my three other pregnancies, although all of those were very straight forward deliveries (although No4 was also posterior and same weight). TBH, I think our experiences are very common for first time labours. I felt particularly angry that there seemed to be a conspiracy of silence about what labour could be like, especially in the NCT and ante-natal classes I attended. I don't know what else to say to you, but your story was so similar to mine I had to post to offer my support.

MissChief · 01/02/2005 15:11

interested to see this and sorryto hear others horror stories - mine too was awful v.long labour, no-one checked to see what stage i was at(reached 10 cm undetected with no pain relief), no-one realised was posterior, several hours in stage 2 , failed ventouse then forceps and ditto lots of stitches followed up my infection (still a few years on not all right down below)now finally got the nerve to be pregnant again and am seriously considering a c-section to avoid the horrors of last time.

jabberwocky · 01/02/2005 15:16

So sorry to hear about this MM. Mine was truly horrible as well. I ended up with PN PTSD after the whole thing. I still have problems where someone will say something about a birth and I start reliving it again. It does get better over time though. Just look at your beautiful baby - that helps the rest to fade.

MistressMary · 01/02/2005 15:16

Oh what a nightmare for you.
A c section might be the way to go then, I certainly would consider it, anyhow.

OP posts:
jabberwocky · 01/02/2005 15:19

Mine ended in emergency c-section. If we ever have another I will opt for an elective.

MissChief · 01/02/2005 15:20

thanks,Iknow i do appreciate my lovely ds when I look at him, it's being pregnant again that's making me remember. my local midwife (we'vemoved) is keen to dissuade me fromc-section, promising that more midwife support would be key and would be available now live outside London. TBH, not sure I trust in this (esp as next appt with her team - not same mw is a 28 weeks, having seen themonly once at 11weeks). don't really want major op and its risks esp to baby but really fear for re-run of last time, not getting baby out in time etc.anyone have positive experieinces of c-section? (sorry haven't meant to take over thread, hopefully relevant to others)

MistressMary · 01/02/2005 15:26

Not at all mischief. I think it's your decision and for them to override them and say it will be better the next time is not on.

OP posts:
jabberwocky · 01/02/2005 16:24

Even though my c-section was an emergency, the c-section in and of itself wasn't that bad. I had dreaded the thought of having to have one and as it turned out that was the least of my troubles. In fact, I am the one who demanded a consult on it when things started going really badly and luckily I finally got someone who knew what they were doing and got ds out within 30 minutes after heartily agreeing that a c-section was the only way to go! I know Aloha had a very good experience with hers.

jabberwocky · 01/02/2005 16:25

And, yes MissChief, if that's what you want then stand your ground!!

highlander · 01/02/2005 17:58

misschief, I had an elective CS as I was determined to avoid a horror birth. It was fantastic, although I planned it to the letter and knew exactly what was going to happen. As soon as I was in theatre the nurses said they had read my birth plan and would try to follow it as much as poss.

Having a baby hurts - it's got to come out somehow! In planning your future births, maybe you need to sit down and decide what exactly you want from a birth. If the vaginal process is very impt to you, then maybe a home waterbirth may empower you more (mears is a huge fan of water births!)

If the process of birth isn't impt (it wasn't for me) then maybe a quick CS would be the way to go. Bear in mind, though, you're in hospital for a few days which might bore the life out of you. Having the dressing ripped off the day after was the most painful thing about the CS (as was my extensive bikini wax a few days before!).

I was driving after 10 days (standard in Canada) and lifting a friend's toddler. Hoovering was a bit uncomfortable (as far as DH was concerned ), as was twisting movements in bed.

I felt totally normal after approx 2.5 weeks and haven't looked back. At 5 months now, my scar is a pale line. Oh, they use metal staples now which I was a bit shocked at, but it means you don't have ugly stitch marks!

Although I'm now a huuuuge fan of CS's, I do realise that the limited movement for the first week may be awkward if you already have a toddler. Maybe someone else can comment?

Socci · 01/02/2005 18:27

Message withdrawn

MistressMary · 01/02/2005 18:41

There's hope then, if there is a next time!
Frankly during DS birth, I felt like I was being punished or something,the pain in itself....
Very overwhelming and surreal and very upsetting.
Why are my notes taking so long to come back to me?

OP posts:
Lonelymum · 01/02/2005 19:05

How old is your ds MisChief? I ask because if he is only a few years old, your body should be able to make a much better job of labour second time around. I understand if you leave a large gap between children (I am not sure how large the gap, but certainly 10 years or more) your body "forgets" how to give birth and your labour is like a first one. However, if the gap isn't too large, your body learns from the first experience and is better able to deal with labour. Of course this is a generalisation, but I have to say, after my horrible first experience, I had another baby 18 months later and his birth was totally uneventful (I actually can't remember many details) and I had 2 more babies and the last was the same size and position as my first, yet he popped out as easy as anything. Apparently after one posterior birth, your body becomes more efficient at turning the baby prior to birth.

So, what I am trying to say is, while I understand your anxiety and desire for a C-section this time around, (and if that is really the only way you feel you can go forward, then go for it) it may not be as bad as you fear (in fact it surely won't be) and that is perhaps what stops the M/W agreeing automatically to a c-section. Hope that ramble makes sense!