Is this typical of a first birth experience? My story.

[MistressMary]

Sorry in advance or to drone on, but want to know if this is what is classed as a typical first birth experience?

I was due for an induction later on the same day at ten days over. At 12.30am I woke up in pain, quickly waddled to the loo, and my waters broke, slightly pink in colour and then a pain similar to cystitis followed. Ten minutes later the same pain came again.

I rang up the maternity unit and the midwife told me to try and sleep and to come in in the morning. However, the contractions were coming every two in 10 minutes, so two hours later I rang back. I had a contraction while on the phone, which lasted about 30 seconds. The midwife told me I could ring back later on if I was concerned. At 5.30am I rang in again; the contractions were getting stronger and lasting slightly longer - I spent the night sat on the loo, with other half sleeping through it all!

Arriving at the hospital at 6am , I was checked over and found out I was 4cm dilated. So the birth pool was filled and in I got, lovely, music, spinning disco ball and calm. I had to get out as I needed to poo! And that's how I felt for the duration. Most of the morning, I was sat on the loo, with my gas and air getting high!

The midwife examined me at 10am and I was fully dilated! But then she found a small part of my cervix lip which was in the way of the baby's head. So I was put onto my left side, contracting every three in 10 minutes! The urge to push was unbearable. She checked again at midday - still the cervix was in the way, just a fraction! Then she said she could see a head full of hair, but I couldn't push as I wasn't ready for the second stage. The contractions were awful and I was screaming the place out!

At 1.30pm two other midwives came to examine me and a decision was made for a transfer to Bath hospital. I was gutted. She said if I had the baby in the ambulance on the way I could turn around and come back to Trowbridge hospital! So in the ambulance with the midwife I got, screaming all the way, gas and air useless now. Wheeled into a delivery suite, I was examined again and put on a monitor. The contractions had slowed right down and so had JJ's heartbeat. We were both tired.

A drip was put into my arm to speed the contractions up, no pain relief was offered - I asked them, believe me, but it was too late! Wow, they came in powerful and close straight away. I was told to push, as I was fully dilated. The baby was face up, though, back to back, which hindered things. A doctor was called with two other midwives and the stirrups were put in place. Out came the ventouse, which they tried unsuccesfully for three times! I was swearing at them, 'What the feck do think you're doing?' It was the most awful pain!

I was pushing like mad and no result. So then they got those forceps out. I was crying and I just wanted it over and they were telling me that it had to be now! The midwife also performed a cut on my perineum. After a few good pushes and lots and lots of support JJ arrived at 4.25pm, face up and cord wrapped around neck once, weighing 8lb 4ozs.

The midwife wouldn't tell me how many stitches I had - she called it a running stitch. I know it was very sore. After staying one night in Bath, we were allowed to go back to Trowbridge. My partner had to take me and JJ - this is the policy. I stayed there for nearly a week and was really looked after there.

Thanks if you got that far, any thoughts?

Thank you all so much and will definately post when I get to see the notes and talk it over.
Out of interset though has anyone already done this, and did it help?

I got my notes and amidwife to talk through them and it helped. Did not have anything like as tough a time as you MM it sounds really awful and no wonder you are a bit haunted by it. What helped for me was that I had some long-lasting questions, mainly why had I not asked the midwife various things during labour. Then when we went through the notes I found that I had asked at least some of them and they were recorded in the notes together with what the midwife, dh and I had done about these issues. Sorry, a bit of a strange sentence. It really helped to know that I had managed to get my message across at the time even though it didn't change anything. It somehow helped me to put those questions to rest. Ok i'll shut up now! you might have to wait a bit to see your notes but it will happen eventually.

A wait indeed, I put in my request in early November and still waiting!

That's outrageous MM - both the original birth story and the delay in getting your notes.
DO complain to the head of midwifery if you want to - I did, although not about the actual birth but about a sweep performed without my consent. I got a profuse apology and a very thorough explanation of the steps they were taking to make sure it never happened again, which left me feeling really positive.
I never even asked for my notes (turns out m/w didn't record anything about sweep anyway apart from the fact that she did one) but, inspired by you, will do if I ever get pregnant again, so I can be sure that stuff to do with the actual delivery isn't the same this time. Not that I'm comparing my delivery to yours, nothing as horrdendous, but thank you for encouraging me to take some action that will definitely be helpful next time.
I do hope that you manage to get the answers you need.
HTH

You had a rough time, MM, especially as it all started so well for you. It's difficult to say what's a 'normal' birth - not just because so many different things can happen, but because each individual is affected by them differently (for me the stitching was the most traumatic part, more distressing than powerful 3-in-10 contractions non-stop for 45 hours with no pr). What it boils down to is that if you are distressed or bothered by your experience, then that is a situation worth dealing with - none of this 'well it all worked out all right in the end' nonsense that we get spouted at us!

I thought that I had recovered emotionally, and that as everything was fine it didn't matter. But when I was pg with my second, I realised that I had unresolved issues from my first birhting, and that they were affecting me badly. I was getting very angry! Anyway, I had a long session with a specialist midwife in my hsopital, with my notes, and we disected the whole labour experience in detail, and dealt with the issues. I felt so much better afterwards, and was able to approach my forthcoming birthing wiht confidence and security.

Well, I am pleased that I posted this thread now.
Actually pleased is not the correct term, but I feel so angry about the whole thing to be honest now.
Emotional reading this all back I cannot wait to clarify some points that you don't to stop and think about, (well would you when screaming the place down? )when in labour.
Not sure what my actions will be, or if I will complain, will it actually benefit me?
I don't know, but I feel this kind of thing can be avoided?

And I think you hit the nail on the head with a good start and progressing well.
All down hill the second she mentioned the cervix pronlem. A big upset, after a brill start.

If you complain, it might benefit you. I felt that dreaded psychobabble word 'closure' after the hospital response to my complaint - they did roughly what I wanted them to do and it let me lay the whole experience to rest. You might be different, of course, but may be worth a try.
For me, it just took one letter and then it was all sorted out. Might not work like that in other circs, obviously, but I'm very glad I did complain.

I kind of know exactly how u feel MM.
I had high blood pressure when expecting, so had to be monitored constantly, couldnt work around or anything. while being monitored, the midwife noticed that our ds heartbeat was not reacting the way it should do through the contractions, so she had to break my waters. My waters were tinged brown, so they had to hurry up the labour. I was put on the oxytocin drip, and once i was fully dilated, the midwife said to push (i had the epidural, which was perfect for me, but could still feel the contractions slightly), but ds got stuck on the way out! As he was distressed in the birth, we were adviced that he would be taken stright to the doctors to ensure everything was ok and to clear his airways. Doctor came in, feet in stirrups, and before i knew what was happening, a was cut, and forceps were being used. I can still remember the tugging (omg at me lmao), and ds was then born. I asked how many stiches i had, and the docter said i was best i didnt no.

And just thought if I had been booked into the bigger hospital first of all without the transfer, would all this been avoided?
I'm going on aren't I? Sorry.

That's it too the feeling of losing control and everything a dream like scene going on around you and the pain, my God WHY?

MistressMary, I think it's really good for you to talk about the experience - whether here on MN or in RL - I had a bad experience with my first birth (nothing like yours, but very traumatic because my DS1 nearly died) and I just went over it and over it incessantly for months.

Dinosaur do you mind me asking how did you approach your 2nd birth after your initial experience? Do you have any advice for me as i had horrendous experience with ds and now pg with no 2.

MM it sounds like you had a nightmare birth, so scary with the move to another hospital. When I had dd I was off my head on gas and air too and also spent a lot of time sat on the loo with the midwife holding my hand as I was so out of it and in so much pain that I couldn't get back to my bed ! Other than that dd's birth was fairly straightforward.

northstar I got my notes and had long discussion with obstetrician about it all and worked out a plan of action. Second birth was in fact very straightforward (apart from retained placenta and DS3 even easier. he'sriggling on my knee, so sorry for short post, but feel free to ask any more pls>

I spoke with consultant he absolutely positively assures me that 2nd births are much easier and i will be monitored v closely etc etc. He tells me a cs isnt the answer but i am so so scared now. Was totally looking forward to 1st birth but went wrong, ds stuck twice, head and shoulders, too far down for cs so they had to cut up to get him out. He was in shock for days (scbu for 8days) It took over an hour to stitch me (v deep, 3 layers of them) I was pretty bad after. How did you face going back to give birth? Did you not want a cs? sorry for tmi

sorry for hijacking

Flossam, I do feel the way you described. Luckily DS2 is coming on well but at one point I was worried about his future. He had amazing results with cranial osteopathy and homeopathy has helped a lot too.
Did you worry that not being able to push had harmed your child?

MM glad you started this thread as it's nice to get things out in the open.

Yes I think so Juniperdewdrop too!
Othes have had a hard time too and no need to apologise for hijacking a thread, perhaps we should all open up about these experiences and not bottle them up like I have done.
Certainly not alone and only too glad I have others to dhare and talk with about it without feeling like a fool.

haven't got time for a big post but just wanted to say that I had a horrible time first time round - three nights of contractions, exhasuted, klft on my own in hopsital, high blood pressure, epi, ventouse tears etc etc. Second time round couldn't have been more differnt. There are lots of reasons why no 2 is easier - phyical ones obviously, but you feel more in control, you won't balk at asking for stuff/telling poeple what you want. you won't worry about being polite, you know what it's all about etc etc. I ended up giving birth to dd2 with no professional assistance - dh delivered her but he and I both KNEW what to do. I was in the perfect position, I was in control, he was calm (againt all the odds!) it was a very positive experience. Anyone scared second time round - you can make it work.

northstar, will you send me a CAT and then I can email you?

MM - this was identical to mine. DS came out with his arm behind his head and was 9'11. It seems some babies just get stuck.

It is upsetting even though I know there are very few 'ideal' births. I recovered very quickly and DS was an easy baby but I can still get upset about it nearly 2.5 years later. There is something very scary and shocking about it.

I had DD 1.5 years later by elective c-section. This was due to the risks involved because I'd torn very badly but it was nice to remove the worry over a natural childbirth. It was a great 'birthday' but it was very painful afterwards and it took me longer to recover.

I did talk about it with a different midwife about 6 months after his birth which helped in that I stoped blaming the midwives (there wasn't much they could have done) but it didn't really address my distress. I keep meaning to get in touch with the Birth Crisis Network people recommended on other threads. I do need to sort it all out before the next one!

MistressMary - I am so sorry to read of the disressing experience you have had. Unfortunately labour does not go smoothly for a number of reasons which cannot always be readily identified. In order to help you understand it all a bit more I will explain it from a midwives' viewpoint which might help with questions you want to ask. You definately should discuss your experience with the midwife/doctor even if you need to meet them at a later date.

You baby was born Occipito Posterior (OP) which definately can make progress slower. THat is one of the reasons your waters broke first before your contractions were properly established. It is also the reason you had contractions at home which were irregular but painful. You did really well to be 4cm when you went to the maternity unit. It is a sad fact that there are always women who need transferred from birthing centres/smaller maternity units in labout to obstetric units. The percentage is on average about 20%
Our own midwifery unit is attached to the main obstetric unit and our transfer rate is 25%. The main reason for transfer is epidual request.
For women with the similar history to you, we would have transferred you when you still had a rim of cervix for the second time. If you agreed you would have an epidural and a syntocinon drip.
In your case there was travelling distance involved and there was always the chance the cervix would dilate in the time it would take to transfer. That happens sometimes at our unit - the woman is moved through and hay presto the head is visible and she starts pushing.
Although having injected pain relief is not ideal coming up to second stage (it can make you too sleepy to push, slow contractions and amke baby sleepy), I think it might have been helpful for you to get something when you still had a rim. I presume pethidine or diamorphine is used at the nmaternity unit? Midwives should all be trained in neonatal resuscitation for a sleepy baby which can be slow to breathe.

I can understand as a midwife why you did not get pain relief when transfered. At that point you were fully dilaed and it would be expected thatby making your contractions more effective with the drip, you would be able to push your baby out. Unfortunately for you that was not the case. You should have had a pudendal block performed where local anaesthetic is injected to numb the nerves supplying your perineum. You should have been given an explanation of everything that was happening to you. When a ventouse is used - if the baby has not been delivered after 3 pulls then forceps should be used. The baby's head must have been very low down to use a ventouse in the first place so it was the correct thing to do to change to forceps. An episiotomy needs to be performed with forcpes to make sure there is enough room for baby's head and forceps to come through otherwise there could be a bad tear involving the rectum.
When I am stitching an episiotomy I do not count stitches and I explain to women that it is a running stitch. It is not like a cut on your face which is a straight line needing one row of stitches. An episiotomy and some tears are stitched in 3 layers. THe first is the vaginal wall, then the muscle, then the skin. The vaginal wall it stitched with a running stitch. The muscle is individual stitches, sometimes only 1 stitch. The skin either has individual stitches in which may be counted or it is a running stitch under the skin (subcuticular) like invisible mending which is what I do. It certainly can be sore but often paracetamol is enough pain relief. If not an anti-inlammatory like voltarol is good. Where there is a lot of bruising/swelling, the physiotherapist uses ultrasound which is helpful.

Why did you not go back into the pool out of interest?

What distance did you need to travel to be transferred?

Ask why you were not offered pain relief when you were still a rim.

I think you should ask why you were not transferred sooner if it had been identified that you were OP with a first baby. It shold have been anticiptated that there would be a delay in delivery in your case.

What was their reason for not giving you an epidural? We do that even when women are fully dilated with OP posision and first baby because experience shows that often an instrumental delivery is needed. There is the argument that the epidural will interere with pushing therefore making forcps inevitable. Sometimes the epidual allows respite from pain for a while which can help the woman to collect herself for pushing after a period of rest.

Only those directly involved in your care can answer these questions for you.

First baby's can often be long difficult labours. Second babies are invariably easier because baby number 1 has made the way. The uterus also is much more efficient at contractions next time round.

I am glad you enjoyed the care afterwards. Women in my area would be home day 2 or 3.

I hope you are managing to enjoy your baby now. Hope this post is helpful to you albeit it a bit garbled at times.

Mears - you are so helpful. Your post explained several things to me that I wasn't clear about. Not least of which was the stitching. I was in theatre for nearly 2 hours of stitching and the doctor explained it was impossible to say how many stitches it was 'but it was a lot'.

BTW MM - A week in hospital sounds good (if it was nice). I only stayed the night after my first birth - wanted to get out as quickly as I could. I was thrown out after a day and a half after my c-section though. I think DD got us expelled

Oooh, I would love to be chucked out a day and a half after my c-section. I hope I can be. Don't fancy being away from ds, dh and my bed for too long.
MM sorry you had such a horrible time. Hope this thread has helped.