Should I (a) not have a birthing partner, or (b) take toddler in to hospital with me?

[BroccoliSpears]

I guess the answer is (a).

If I go into labour in the daytime I have friends who will happily look after the toddler.

If I need to go in in at 3am... what do I do?

Current plan is for dp to put me and dd in the car, drive me to hospital and then either hang around in the corridore with dd, or come home with dd and join me in hosp in the morning once people have woken up and he has given dd to a friend.

Has anyone experience of giving birth alone? I suppose it will be okay. Bit tearful thinking about it but that's probably just hormones.

Message withdrawn

my friend drove an hour to get to me and dh at 1am with dc5 last year. I also had the neighbours, (2 ladies) falling over themselves to help me out, one is a consultant anethatist, so was offering all kinds of mobile epidural!! (not really)

in the end, another friend and neighbour stayed with kids at home all night.
I am also a Doula, (not yorkshire though)

hope ypou sort something out. x

If it's not been suggested already:

If you do go into labour during the night, get a friend to come over and sleep at your house. In the morning she can take your dd back to her own house in time to take her dc's to school etc or drop her to someone else if she will be working. This was the plan we had for a friend who didn't have any family nearby - but the baby arrived anyway while se had family visiting!

I think one of the NZ mums was in a similar dilemma a while back (MrsJohnCusack I think?) Can't remember how she resolved it...

Not read all this thread but my opinion fwiw is:

Do NOT leave yourself open to being alone at any point in labour, not even the early stages. Personally, I found it crucifying and just recently on a ward visit before my first BF Peer Support volunteer session we came across a young woman, obviously labouring alone. We asked her if she had any one with her and she said she'd accept anyone who would help, and a tear rolled down her cheek. I died inside at that point.... we notified a mw of this poor thing and continued on our way but I'll never forget that girl..... Perhaps because I knew how she felt....

If there are volunteers for 3am then accept their kind offer, make sure that they mean it and then if it happens, do it. Most people are sincere in their offer to help out when you go into labour.

Has the option of Homebirth been mentioned? Would it be something you would consider? No need for child care then! Although back up plans, just in case, would be sensible.

With my second, two years ago, we had just moved into a new area and there was no option but to take our two year old with us to hospital. My husband looked after her in the room next door while I went through labour mooing like a cow! The midwife was great and it went fine, although it was only 2hours. Just before the baby popped out, they called them both in and my two year old saw the birth and didn't seem to notice the goo - her reaction was "nice baby Mummy!". I am now expecting my third in just under two weeks and my mother in law is around to look after the other two when the time comes, although my eldest is a bit miffed that she won't be there at the birth this time!

I had the same problem and my m-in-law paid for me to have a doula so I wouldn't be alone,she was brilliant,and my husband was able to be with me when the baby was born as it ended up being daytime.if this is really not an option financially ,how about looking at the doula websites and asking for someone who is training to be with you for no fee-(I know they sometimes train by attending prisoners births unpaid).otherwise tell your birth unit and ask to get to know two or three of the midwives and they will support you all they can I'm sure.Or home birth,but you will still need someone to occupy your toddler.

Doula UK hth

Oooh Yorkshire! I'd be happy to help if you're in my bit- but depends when your due coz I'm due beginning of May- might be a bit tricky after that .
If I knew you in RL I would be honoured to be asked, Dh would be fine with DD at night, and mat leave is handy if daytime assistance required
Reckon you've got loads of offers/options to think about now, good luck!