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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Don't want to sound like a diva...but

33 replies

Crazybrowncow · 12/10/2023 08:17

Those that have had c sections in the past, when you were on your own in hospital did you manage, with feeding, changing the newborn nappies, comforting bub on your own.

I am planning on a section and as I have a DC my husband plans to go home in the evening for teatime/bedtime. I had my DC in lockdown and was very lucky that DH was locked in the hospital with me 24/7, so did a lot to help. I remember the getting in and out of bed with DC to feed quite hard, but will it be ok and will the nurses be able to help if I really struggled with something?

OP posts:

QuilBill · 12/10/2023 08:19

I had a vaginal birth so helped the lady next to me by passing over her baby when she cried. The baby not the lady. How long do you have to stay in?

Flipflopflopflip · 12/10/2023 08:23

Sorry to say I found I had absolutely no help after my c section from nurses. Just had to struggle and get on with it. Couldn't wait to get out.

FastAndLast · 12/10/2023 08:26

Literally left alone with him in a room by myself. Half asleep and stomach stitched up trying to lift him out of the little cot on to the small bed with me to feed him.
Then kicked out basically the next day 😬

sobermum23 · 12/10/2023 08:26

Had a c section in March - the midwives specifically told me to get them to do everything but I didn't want to bother them so I ended up holding ds all night just in awe - didn't sleep until dh came back! They did change him for me. On the second night I accepted their help getting him in and out of bassinet. They were incredible - I guess just accept might need some patience!

Bunny2021 · 12/10/2023 08:27

i had lots of help from nurses/midwives when my husband went home to look after our toddler. They would pass her to me, change her etc no problem.

Saschka · 12/10/2023 08:36

No help from nurses. I was ok once the spinal wore off, but that wasn’t until the following morning for me.

What I did find incredibly helpful was having DH there to give me a break and let me sleep (I’m deaf and did not wake when DS cried). But if your DH comes in during the day, that would work.

We went home on D5 because DS had low blood sugars (premature), but other people went home on D2-3.

lomondlady · 12/10/2023 08:43

The nurses took one of my twins for a while then swapped them over (during the night) as I was struggling a bit. That was 17 years ago. The lady in the bed opposite (who'd had a vaginal birth) went and got me more milk for DS7 a couple of times, as she could see I was in pain getting out of bed. I was so grateful. We were in for 2 or 3 nights for observation (can't remember which 🙊) The nurse gave me a hand settling him at one point through the night. You'll get through it, and all the best 😊

looking4pup · 12/10/2023 08:50

Husband was in Afghanistan. I didn't call did the nurses. Obviously having the catheter, drip abs beads sewn in was very hard. They told me to go for a shower. When I came out my baby was screaming. No one had gone over to her which shocked me. I'd rather not have had a shower than left her.

Ellie525 · 12/10/2023 08:58

Very little help at all, no staff it seemed! Ended up holding baby all night until DP was allowed in at 7am and found me covered in blood from waist down, no water all night and exhausted from trying to stay awake with baby, it was really really grim. No answer on the call button for over an hour so I gave up. Discharged ourselves before the 2nd night shift as just didnt feel very safe for us, felt 100 times better at home where DP could do lifting/changing/get me pain meds etc.

Oowoo · 12/10/2023 08:58

There are always nurses and people on the ward to help you but you do need to let them know you need help every time you need help. Every time you want your baby passed to you, press the buzzer. Everytime you need help feeding, press the buzzer. If you need something, press the buzzer.
people need to remember that nurses have a lot of other thing they can be doing and won’t be coming round every 5 minutes to check if you need anything. If when you’re getting up you want them to help more, just say please don’t be afraid to ask!
best of luck for baby no2!! You’ve got this

Olika · 12/10/2023 09:27

I had emergency C-section and by myself as DH was at work and it was fine. Our DD was in her cot next to me sleeping mostly so I was having rest, watched YouTube and tried to walk a bit once I was feeling better. The nurses were amazing and had to help me a lot to get breastfeeding going. My biggest challenge really was the hospital food.

Original poster

Crazybrowncow · 12/10/2023 09:30

Thanks all, I guess we'll see how it goes and hopefully we won't be in too long. thank you for sharing x

OP posts:

mondaytosunday · 12/10/2023 09:43

The first 12 hours after the op were hard as I couldn't move. The midwife on duty would hand me the baby if needed. After that when I be ame more mobile yes I did it on my own. My husband worked - he took his paternity leave when I got out of hospital (our first went in to daycare during the day).

Needeyebrows · 12/10/2023 10:09

Three c sections and three different experiences. First two times I was semi private ( 4 beds in the room). Had an emergency section on my first DD after a horrific two day induction. Asked nurse to help me lift my 11lbs plus DD to from her cot and help me change her. She basically dumped DD on me and put the baby bag on the bed and told me I needed to do it myself as she was busy. Bear in mind this was only a few hours after my section so still had no feeling in my legs and had catheterer in. I literally cried as I felt so stupid smd helpless. Needless to stay I checked myself out the next day.

Next time it wasn't as bad but still very little help from nurses. I was more prepared though.

Third and last time was a dream. I went public. The nurses were lovely and helpful. But what made it better was the other women on the ward who all offered to help me. Asked if I needed my breakfast brought over, did I need help standing up, could they get the baby bag etc. It really made a difference.

On my other two sections the other women closed their curtains all day and nobody spoke. They actually sat and ate breakfast and then lunch and bever bothered to even ask if they could bring me mine.

Kalodi · 12/10/2023 11:58

Absolutely no help with previous 2 csections (one pre covid and one during covid). DH was not there with me during either (was with DS pre covid and he wasn't allowed with us during covid).

I've asked about this, as am currently pregnant again, I've been told DH will not be allowed to stay outside of the 2hr visiting hour time slot and it will be up to me to look after baby.

It's one of the reasons I want to have a VBAC.

Hope your hospital is different.

TurquoiseDress · 12/10/2023 12:12

I'd recommend getting all the essentials within arm's reach!

Mobile phone & charger, handbag, water bottle (filled)...and baby obvs but they'll be in the cot on wheels but they should be placed next to you

I've had 2 c sections, first one was the worst as obvs didn't really know what to expect, was in a noisy/cramped room with 3 other women & their babies.
Couldn't wait to get the hell out of there!

As for the help you might get from the midwives/HCAs I think a lot will depend on how busy the ward is

TurquoiseDress · 12/10/2023 12:18

For balance, my experience with DC2 was so much better- partly because I managed to get a private room so it was lovely & peaceful with just me and baby

Also I brought a stash of painkillers with me which I kept in my handbag (from brutal previous experience!!!)...you shouldn't do this but I wasn't taking any chances on my second go around!!

BobbidyBibbidyBob · 12/10/2023 12:28

Saschka · 12/10/2023 08:36

No help from nurses. I was ok once the spinal wore off, but that wasn’t until the following morning for me.

What I did find incredibly helpful was having DH there to give me a break and let me sleep (I’m deaf and did not wake when DS cried). But if your DH comes in during the day, that would work.

We went home on D5 because DS had low blood sugars (premature), but other people went home on D2-3.

just sent you a PM, hope you don't mind!

Original poster

Crazybrowncow · 12/10/2023 18:16

@Kalodi it is hard that the hospitals vary so much, we've been asked to
Bring our own pillows and blow up mattress. Our entire hospital is private rooms with en suite bathrooms, so I've lucked out there (NHS). Although as this thread has shown there are pros and cons and having a baby is possibly a time when it's nice to have a bit of company around.

OP posts:

Dyra · 13/10/2023 07:40

I expected zero help, and got none. Tbh other than needing help with lifting baby while my legs were still numb, which my husband was there for, I could manage to do everything myself. As long as I moved carefully ofc.

Kinsters · 16/10/2023 09:56

With my first I insisted on doing everything myself. I kept her in the bed with me and co-slept so there was no need to lift her or get out of bed. The nurses showed me how to feed her lying down.

Highfivemum · 17/01/2024 19:09

We regard to help firm staff we only have to read the comments to see how much this varies. With one of my DC births ( C sec ) there was a fantastic auxiliary nurse. So helpful. Yet another one of my DC births the staff were so rude. I was serious not well following a very difficult C sec and was on strong medication with a dangerously high temp. I literally could not move let alone pick up a baby. A nurse took my Dc and said get some sleep for an hour. I was so relived. Then she returned after ten mins and said my DC would not shut up and she could not stand it crying any longer. ! Awful staff. So I think the answer is keep your fingers crossed and hope you have one of the good ones.
good luck

SphincterSaysWhat · 17/01/2024 19:13

This thread breaks my heart. Good luck OP xxx

Jessforless · 17/01/2024 19:18

Obviously things vary wildly. I was NHS and elective C section and they helped me so much once DH went home. They were amazing and honestly, every person I know who’s had a CS (different hospitals) have said the same.

Original poster

Crazybrowncow · 17/01/2024 21:44

Thanks for all the responses and recent comments, I had bub by ELCS all went well and all the staff were great, all round positive experience.

OP posts:

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